No Sad Goodbye's
by sunshineandsunflowers
Summary: Katniss has finally done something she never thought she'd ever do, she married her best friend Gale. Follow the story of how Katniss accepts the changes and rough roads of marriage and family. And will a series of certain event's, with one in particular, change the feelings she has for her now Husband Gale, or will true love be stronger? (**SEQUEL to Finding The Time, NO games**)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - Hello dear readers! It's HERE! The Sequel to "Finding The Time"! **

***If your a new reader, I _HIGHLY_suggest at least reading the last three or four chapters of Finding The Time. This book, No Sad Goodbye's is a Sequel to it, So there _will be _some stuff you won't understand by just reading this. Hopefully you'll take my suggestion for better understanding of this book :)**

***For my readers who have been waiting for this, It's here! I spent some time last night writing it. This chapter is a brief sort of introduction to their married life and how they act around each other. It's a bit short but again, this is just to get you through the first chapter. Lot's of exciting stuff coming! I will have Chapter 2 up sometime tomorrow(Thursday), but keep a look out on the Facebook if there should be any changes! But I really hope you enjoy! I'm SO happy to have it ready for you guys! MUCH love - Macayla**

***** Rated T for language and some sensuality, Might change to M if needed *****

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I'm startled awake from the same nightmare I've been having for the past three weeks that Gale and I have been married. I sit up, being careful not to wake him. It's Saturday, so he's home, thankfully. There's still morning's when I can't believe I got married. Not just to anyone though, to Gale. My best friend, my hunting partner. But now my 'soul mate' as he puts it. I never thought marriage and a relationship like this would ever be evident to my life. I never planned on getting married, and I'm sure if it wasn't for Gale I would have never had.

Marriage isn't easy though, I've already learned that and it's only been three weeks (today to be exact). But not just on Gale and myself, but our families. Our siblings the most. It took Prim several days to stop crying herself to sleep. Not because she's mad about Gale and I, but because I'm not there as much. I still walk her to school every morning, and she comes over to our house everyday. But it's still hard for her, which is understandable. Rory of course got immediately jealous, not talking to me for the first week and half. Vick took it surprisingly well. And Posy wasn't much better then Rory, although she didn't quit talking to me. And she doesn't quite understand that I'm her sister-in law not her actual sister. She calls me 'sis' now, but I don't mind it. It's sort of cute.

I look over to the small window to see the sun light just starting to peek through the curtains. Gale already told me we'd go hunting at dusk instead of dawn. I'm pretty sure so he could sleep in. The mines have him working harder then ever. He works, comes home, eats, sleep's and repeats. Since our marriage I've seen a side of him I've never, in my life seen before. It's not a bad one though, just different. The first time we went into The Hob as a married couple, everyone kept calling me 'Mrs. Hawthorn' but in more of a teasing way then acutely being serious… and I hated it. He practically brawled with half the vendors. I guess a more protective side. I can't complain, I've just never had anyone look after me like this. Everyone in The Hob, despite their teasing comment, were thrilled when they not just heard about being a couple, but about our marriage, too. Greasy Sae was the most excited, telling us both she knew it, she saw it coming. Everyone was excited, but she was in particular. Our mothers of course were excited. Giving us each their approval. Hazel's doing fine without Gale there to help out more then he does not being there, but my mother is still struggling. She's finally having to act like a mother to Prim again. I'm not there anymore to wake her up, make sure her clothes are laid out for school, do her hair, cook her breakfast. All the things I shouldn't have had to do. Not that I didn't want to do them, but that wasn't my job, it was hers. The realization hit her, and it hit hard. But the day she knocked on my front door crying, I slammed it in her face. The slight 'making up' we did before I got married, is already gone. Our relationship is at it's worst it's ever been. The only respect I have for her is she _is _finally being a mother to Prim.

"Hey, Catnip." Says Gale through my thoughts. His voice heavy from sleep. I hadn't realized he was awake, or that I woke him.

"Hey. Sorry, didn't mean to wake you." I reply.

"You didn't. Nightmare?" He asks. Knowing I've been having the same strange dream.

I nod my head in reply. I hadn't always had this particular nightmare. It started about three days after Gale and I married. It starts out the same every time, it's not long, it's quite short actually. It starts off with Gale, walking towards the mines with the other miners early in the morning, then it shows him descending the shaft down into the mines, then, once their out of sight, the whole picture explodes and the dream is over. I had the same exact nightmare after my fathers death, but of him of course and not Gale.

"It's just a dream, it's not real." He says while grabbing my hand closest to him. He intertwines out fingers together. Just this simple touch from him sends shivers down my spine.

"I know. But what if it means something, Gale?" I ask while meeting his gaze. His grey seam eyes heavy from sleep and work.

"Katniss…" He says brushing back a stay piece of hair away from my forehead with his other hand. "… it doesn't. They mean nothing. Ok?" He replies calmly.

"But why do I have them then?" I ask. Unconvinced by his previous answer.

"Because it scares you. Me, being down in those mines. Of course your going to have nightmares about things that frighten you." He replies still calmly while squeezing my hand lightly.

I look away from his gaze. Starring blankly at the wall. Is he right? Would my mind play tricks like that on me? But what if I _am _getting sent some kind of message? I refuse to be a widow at seventeen.

When I don't reply for his answer, he leans in, giving me a kiss on the forehead and starts to work kisses across my face and toward my neck. He releases his hand from mine and starts tugging the hem of my loosely fitted pajama shirt. I know what his intentions are this morning, something I've already figured out. Being intimate is something I _never _that I'd enjoy, or even get the chance to experience. It took me a while to stop being… 'shy'. I felt bad for Gale (and still do) when it took me several days from me to finally open up more to new things. I was fine with the simple stuff, but slowly I started to relax and enjoy myself. At first I was thankful when we could only do it so often with my cycle. But my mother gave me pills that I take once ever three months. She said she kept these away, and that their actually cheap in District 12 but extremely hard to come by. When ever she found them, she would 'stock up' on them for her patients. But over the years she hardly has given any away, resulting in a surprisingly large stock. Gale of course was thrilled to hear about them, I on the other hand was not. But now I am. We don't talk about it outside our bedroom, we don't 'do it' but in the confinements of this room. It's almost as though it doesn't exist between us, but when were in here, like now, we see sides of each other only meant for this room.

He starts to work his hand up my shirt while he nibbles at my ear. I moan, but I know we can't do this this morning. We both have places to be.

"Gale?" I say, hoping he'll quit before we both get to aroused and be late to the places were supposed to be.

"Hmm?" He replies against the skin around my ear, and swinging his leg over my legs.

"We need to get going soon." I reply a bit breathlessly already.

"I'll make it quick, promise." He mumbles against my skin still. This side of Gale is one I never thought I'd see, but I can't say I don't like it.

"Gale, we can't. Not right now. Tonight." I reply while gently pushing him off of me. He sighs and sits up beside me.

"What time are you supposed to be at the school?" He asks a bit disappointingly.

Today I have my first meeting with Mrs. Mildred about the new school music program I somehow agreed to head up. Making me the official music teacher since it's a slightly paid position. I passed my test I needed to graduate early. It took me weeks of boring studying, but I got only three of the one hundred and thirty questions wrong. So I now no longer have school, but instead I teach it. Being a teacher is something I never envisioned me doing, but it's better then the mines. I snap back to a waiting Gale-

"In an hour." I reply. "What will you be doing today again?" I ask, forgetting what he told me over dinner last night.

"Help Thom, Lane and a few other guys rebuild those few businesses the bomb took out." I replies with a yawn.

Three weeks ago District 12, as well as the others, including the Capitol got bombed from our neighboring country Airgusta. They've been sending us threats since the dark days. But now they've finally stopped 'saying' and started 'doing'. The bomb killed three people here in twelve and took out a few businesses it town. But thankfully no homes. Even though the bomb didn't hit near the seam, we still felt it's power all the way from town. Amazingly it didn't do more damage then it did. No one that Gale or I know knew the three people who died. But as Greasy Sae put it, 'It could have been worse, much worse.', and I couldn't agree more. But now Panem is ready for a full out war against them…

"Oh ok." I reply. Gale agreed to help rebuild the few businesses today that got damaged.

I quickly yank the covers off of my side of the bed and head to my dresser in the room. Mrs. Mildred suggested I wear professional clothes. A dress? I don't particularly have a full wardrobe. But once my mother and hazel heard, they both gave me some of their old 'nicer' clothes they both claim they never wear. I _hate _handouts, but I didn't have much of an option. My only other one would be wearing the same two dresses over and over. I pull out a pair of dark jeans that actually doesn't have any rips or patches and simple, black, mid sleeve v-neck shirt. It acutely hugs my body, differing from my usual baggy clothing. I walk over and set the clothes on the bed, which Gale is still sitting up on against the headboard, giving me a devilish grin as he knows I'm about to change my clothes in front of him. Before, or even a few days ago, this would have upset me, resulting in me storming out of the room, but now I find myself returning the same devilish grin he still has plastered across his face. I slowly, realizing how mad this is going to make him, take off my bottoms and top. Leaving me in nothing but my bra and underwear. I let his eyes scan over my barely dressed body for several seconds before I start to dress.

"Like what you see, huh?" I ask teasingly as I pull my jeans on. He nods, swallowing loudly.

This time last week you would have never caught me saying something like that, but now that I'm more comfortable with it, I do. But only when were in the bedroom like this, I'd never say this to him downstairs or anywhere else. There's still that voice of 'I shouldn't have said that.', but I reply 'Yes, he's now my husband'. He is, believe it or not.

I stand there for a second, in nothing but my jeans and bra. I contemplate just for a second, but then I make_ a decision. I _walk over to his side of the bed and straddle him. I know I shouldn't be doing this, but it's only to mess with him. Just like he did last night, when I thought we were going to, we were completely ready (bare skinned and all) when he whispered in my ear he was to tired. I told him 'pay backs a bitch'.

And now he's about to learn that….

I put all my body weight on his groin, I can already feel he's hard, but two can play at this game that he started last night, I lean in, resting my hands on his chest, and give him one, quick, deep kiss before I bring my lips to his ear-

"Do you want me?" I whisper. Having no clue where the words are coming from, I've only talked like this once, several nights ago. He nods his head in reply. I feel his breathing begin to get heavier then it was before. "How bad? Tell me how bad, Gale?" I whisper again in his ear. I know this

"Bad. So bad." He replies breathlessly through gritted teeth. I grin and bite his ear, knowing how much he likes that.

"Well…" I say, kissing his ear this time, knowing how he likes that. I give a good long pause before I finish my sentence. "… pay backs a bitch." I repeat those words to him and then I immediately get up and finish dressing.

He's mad, but now he knows how I felt last night. I start silently laughing at what I just did to him.

"Katniss!" He shouts. He's trying to be stern, but I can see the smile he's desperately trying to hold back. "You can't do that!" He adds. I start grinning.

"Oh really, Gale? Because I'm quite sure you did the same thing to me last night!" I reply teasingly, still grinning like a bobcat.

He gets up and stands in front of me while I pull down my shirt.

"That's not the same, Catnip." He replies, finally releasing his grin he was trying to hold back.

"Uh, I'm pretty sure it is, Gale." I reply, making him sound dumb.

He takes picks me up just under my butt and pins me to the wall, he starts to lean in to kiss me but I dart out under his arm before he does.

"Late Hon. I promise." I say with a wink.

I grab my hunting boots and head downstairs. I know I shouldn't have done that to him, but he deserved that. He did do that same thing to me, it only made sense to do it back to him. I find myself still grinning while I take a seat at the table and start lacing my boots. A minute later while I'm side braiding my hair, Gale comes down to join me. Dressed in old hunting clothes. He looks at me and smiles. We both act like that never just happened because of course, were not in the bedroom anymore. We act as though we don't have an intimate relationship when were anywhere else.

"Hungry?" He asks as he looks over the game we have. I shake my head no.

It's a little bit harder now, but not much since we got married. Were still of course responsible for providing for our mother's and siblings. We still have to hunt for food, and we will still have to, even though Gale works and I'm about to. Any paid position in District 12 isn't much. It's something though. You can't complain.

Gale grabs his jacket and tosses mine to me just as I'm standing. We put them on in silence and head out the door and into town. I contemplate quickly seeing Prim, but I'm already late and she knows where I'm supposed to be this morning. We walk hand in hand until we reach the center of the town, where I'll have to go one way, and Gale another. He turns toward me-

"You'll do great in the meeting, Katniss. You know how nice Mrs. Mildred is, and the Principle." He says, wrapping his arms around my waist.

I place my hands on his arms and nod my head. Knowing he's right, he's always right. He leans in and kisses my on the cheek then moves his lips to my ears-

"I'll see you later. And remember, your in for it tonight." He says devilishly.

This is the first time either one of us has spoken like this in public. But I assume it's another milestone were slowly crossing. He stands back up straighter and unwrapping his arms from me.

"Love you." He says while starting to walk the opposite direction.

"I love you, too." I reply.

I turn my heels and head to the school. It's just up ahead, less then a minute walk. The meeting will consist of the 'rules' so to speak. What I'm acutely supposed to do. How I'm to act. How I'm supposed to act around the children. And their also give me my grade assignments. What class comes first and so on. I start Monday and I can already feel pressure. But I know this is what father wants. Nothing would make him happier.

I take a deep breath as I open to front doors to the school…


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - Hello again dear readers! Chapter 2 is here! Not to much 'action' but it's still a 'set up' for the rest of the story. Hopefully you'll all understand, It's still a good Chapter though:)! **

**Thank you everyone who reviewed! I read all nine of the reviews for Chapter 1. EACH one means SO much to me! CookieMeister- I think it's called Everthorn!? Not sure though. Thank you for your words! I can never find good GaleXKatniss fanfiction either. That's what gave me this idea! :D Occy3- HEYYY! :D :D "Guest"- Don't worry, parts like that won't be in every Chapter. I just wanted to really put that in the first so you know how Katniss deals with that. I'll be sure to put a 'warning' so to speak if it's in a Chapter so you can skip over it if you don't want to read it. This Chapter's free of it though:). **

**Well, Like I said, not to much happening here in this Chapter. But.. Here's something new I'm intruding.. At the end of every so few chapters I might give a 'preview' of the next Chapter!? I saw someone else doing it and loved the idea. Hopefully you'll like it, too. Well, I'll shut up now so you can read. Chapter 3 will be up tomorrow(Friday) sometime. Enjoy lovies - Macayla (Ps, Sorry it's a bit short, they will get longer again!)**

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I slowly make my way to the back side of the large school. The hallways are empty and dark. There's a satisfaction I no longer will be here to learn. But I'll still be coming here, more actually. The older grades only have classes Wednesday through Friday, but the two younger grades have school Monday through Friday. Resulting in me being here more then less now. I never in a million years that I'd be teaching, especially music. I barley sing anymore, only occasionally to Prim after a nightmare, which is rare now that she's older. But I'm trying to make a new life, finally getting past my fathers death. I've let the mourning linger to long. He'd want me to move on and be happy. But I'll never forget him.

I continue, still slowly, making my way to the Principle's office near the far end of the school. It's a surprisingly large building, consisting of two floors. Almost every window is broken out though for fresh air. Because of course, no power, no air conditioning.

I'm standing in front of the door that leads to her office before I know it. I quietly knock on it and get a imitate 'come in'. I brush the sweat from my hands off on my jeans before I slowly open the door. The office is quite large, but bare. There's the large desk and besides that, book shelves line every wall except where the window is. I see the Principle, Mrs. Maddox, sitting behind the desk, and Mrs. Mildred sitting in one of the two seats in front of her.

"Hello Katniss. You can take a seat." Says Principle Maddox while gesturing to the seat next to Mrs. Mildred.

She flashes me a warm smile as I slip in the seat. Principle Maddox folds her hands together on the table and leans in before she speaks-

"Katniss, we are thrilled to have you join our team of Teachers. There's of course just a few minor things we need to go over in order for you to be able to Teach properly." She says calmly.

Mrs. Mildred flashes me another smile. I nod my head for her to continue. For the next ten minutes she doesn't shut up. She tells me everything I need to know. How to get the children to behave, how to handle a heated situation, how to look for signs of abuse, how to report it and matter containing the same subjects. I don't interrupt her once. The only thing that catches me off guard a bit is when she starts talking about a few children who have mental and health issues. She promises me they don't give trouble or cause problems, but just to be mindful of them. Next she hangs me a sheet of paper, I pick it up looking at it.

"This, Katniss is your class assignments. Monday and Tuesday you'll have the littlest grades, Wednesday and Thursday you'll have the middle grades. And on Friday you'll have the oldest grades. Got that?" She asks.

I was unaware I would be teaching teenagers my age. But I guess that makes sense. Music is a full on subject now. I nod my head in reply to her, but I've barley spoken a word, so I know I need to speak-

"Yes." I reply. It's something.

"Good. I'm going to give you some sheet music that I've had here in the office forever." She says while sliding over a large stack of papers that was sitting on the corner of her desk. "Most of the songs are just easy and not much to them. Mrs. Mildred will take you to the music room so you can get it ready for Monday." She adds while finally flashing me a another smile.

I've never been to fond of Principle Maddox. Not after she completely yelled at Prim for crying during one of her class subjects. It was about four or five weeks after fathers death, when me and Prim became the closest we've ever been. She was just simply crying for me, but Principle Maddox claimed she was being disruptive to class. That day I almost got expelled for the way I handled it. I did however get expelled for a week. But after a few months, she acted like it never happened. I still don't like her though.

She goes over a few other things, my schedule and pay before she bids me goodbye. I grab the stack of sheet music, which at least weighs a few good pounds and I follow Mrs. Mildred out the door. Once she's closed the door behind us, she leads the way down the long corridor.

"So, are you excited?" She asks while were walking, sounding a bit overjoyed herself.

"I suppose." I reply honestly. If it was anyone else, I would have lied and said yes, but I won't to her.

"Don't be nervous Katniss. You'll do wonderful. And I already know the children will love you." She says genuinely.

I just smile in reply. Her words are almost comforting. But I still can't quite shake away all the nervousness. We go down several more winding hallways before we stop in the middle of a corridor. I know exactly where I'm at though. My math (or use to be now) class is just over a room. She digs in her pockets and pulls out a single silver key. She quickly unlocks the door and leads the way in. Over the summer, instead of practicing the Piano here in this room, I practiced with the old Piano she has at her house. It was one of the hardest things to do. Not actually playing it, but being flooded with old memories of my father when he would play. Or when he would teach me. It took me several days to stop holding back tears. But once I did, the process of Piano playing quickly returned. I'm still not excellent of course, I stutter with reading the notes and sometimes press the wrong keys, or hold them down to long or not enough. But it is enough to manage. She's a pretty good Piano player and promises me she'll play in my place when she can, but she's a teacher already.

I enter the room after her and I immediately step on broken class and paper. The two sets of chairs that are set in a semi circle are completely overturned and rusted. But the rust matches everything else in District 12. There's three music stands which are overturned as well. And sheet music flown around everywhere. The three large windows are all broken out. The only thing that remains in tact is the chalk board on the wall in front of the overturned chairs and the large, black, dented Piano in the corner.

"It's going to need some fixing up." She says disappointingly while surveying the room. I come and join her in the middle of the room. "It's been so long since we've used this room, Katniss." She says turning towards me and grabbing my free hand. "You'll do great sweetheart. I believe in you." She adds.

"Thank you." I say, amazed at how much _I _believe those words. She replies with a smile.

"Well, I can help you clean up this mess. It's going to take more then one person." She says while bending down and taking a handful of papers from the ground. She's an older lady, and I feel bad to make her work like this.

"I can get Gale to help me." I say, in hopes she'll agree so she doesn't injure herself.

"Is he not busy today?" She asks standing up and shifting the papers in her hand to make a neat stack.

"He's helping some guys rebuild those few damaged buildings. But he shouldn't be long." I reply.

"Well, I do have a few things I need to get done today. Are you sure, Dear?" She asks. I smile.

"Yes. I'm positive." I answer. She nods her head and smiles.

"Okay. So how is that man of yours?" She asks shooting me more of a grin now then a smile. I almost laugh at her choice of words.

"He's fine. A bit tired from the mines." I reply.

"Aw, I bet. Anyone would be. So how's married life treating you?" She asks. I almost laugh, again.

"It's good. Hard, but good." I answer honestly again.

"Yes, no marriage is perfect dear. But I'm glad to hear it's good. I remember when your were just a little thing coming to school with your father." She says while gesturing with her hand at my toddler height.

I listen to her for the next five minutes recall a few stories of me and my father. I don't mean to, but I somewhat tune her out. Not because I don't want to listen, but the stories are to painful for me. When she finally finishes I let out a sigh of relief. She bids me goodbye and hangs me the key before leaving the room. I walk around the room a bit. It's acutely very large. The large (grand I think she called it) Piano sits comfortably in the corner of the room. I look down to see the sheet music that Principle Maddox gave to me. I immediately look away when I the sheet music is hand written… in my fathers hand writing. I sit one of the overturned chairs up and set the sheet music down on it before I walk out of the room, locking it behind me and putting the key into my pocket. I contemplate waiting for Gale at home, but I have no idea when he will be back, and I really need to clean the room so I can get it ready tomorrow for Monday. I quickly make my way out of the school and into the part of town where Gale's working. It's about a good ten minute walk, so I walk a little faster then my normal speed. The town isn't to large though, and as long as there's not many crowds, it's pretty easy to get around. I stop for a second, trying to remember exactly where Gale said he'd be. Once I remember I even more quickly now make my way to the businesses. I'm not really sure why Gale agreed to do this. I know he has to be utterly exhausted from working twelve hour shifts in the mines. He leaves at five in the morning and doesn't come back until five in the evening.

I arrive at the two building which are half collapsed. They look beyond saving, but I see at least thirty guys working on it. As I approach I also notice a group of five or six girls watching them. I immediately want to smack each one of them. I see Gale in plain sight, working on a wall outside the building with a few other guys. I do my best to ignore those girls, but I know their looking at me. I walk past them and stop just short of the buildings, hoping Gale will see me so I don't have to shout to him. After several seconds he turns his gaze toward my direction, but just slightly over a bit… where those girls are. He quickly see's me though and jumps off the ladder he was on and makes his way to me. As he approach's me, it takes all I can do not to slap him…

"Hey! How'd the meeting go?" He says while wiping his hands off on an old rag.

"Good." I'm pissed at him. He's married now (to me!) and he shouldn't be doing that.

"What's wrong?" He asks. Obviously reading my expression. I lean in a little closer and point my finger at him.

"You know exactly what the hell is wrong!" I quietly (in a way) shout at him. I'm loud enough though and see some of the guys working briefly glance at us.

"Katniss, I don't. I'm sorry." He says apologetically. I cross my arms and tighten my jaw. Not letting him get off easy. "Them?" He asks, gesturing with head toward the group of girls behind me.

"Yes!" I shout just as loud before.

"I was looking for you Katniss. I told you last night once the meeting was over to come see me and tell me how it was. That's why I was looking over there, and around them." He says, defensively but not harshly.

I undo my arms and sigh loudly. Should I believe him? I had completely forgotten, but he did ask me to come by afterwards. I'm struck with a memory for a few months ago when Gale asked me if I trusted him. And I answered yes.

"Sorry." I mumble while looking past him. Not wanting to meet those grey seam eyes. He chuckles before he speaks-

"It's okay, Catnip. Just got to have a little more trust in me, alright?" He says while wrapping his arms around me.

I know those girls must really be looking now, I hear a few of them talk in low voices and Gale briefly looks to them. He rolls his eyes once they meet mine. But if their going to stare, then I'm going to give them a show. I wrap my arms around Gale's neck and pull his head down so his lips meet mine. I deepen the kiss immediately. Making it linger. I start grinning against his lips and Gale quickly follows. We both pull apart gasping for a breath of air.

"Well… I think that did them in." He says, nodding his head their way.

I turn around to see them all stamping off. I start laughing and Gale just shakes his head. I'm pretty sure I hear him mutter the word 'idiots' under his breath.

"So, how was the meeting?" He asks, giving me a quick kiss.

"Whoa there now!" Says Thom walking up. A grin spread across his face.

"Hey." I say.

"So, excited for Monday?" He says while leaning on Gale. I have no idea how the news is spreading like this.

"In a way." I reply. "How did you find out?" I ask curiously. It's not something I'm particularly keeping a secrete, though.

"From your Husband right here." He says while slapping Gale's back. "He's been talking about you all morning like a proud dad." He adds and flashes me another grin. I immediately blush.

"I am proud of her." Says Gale. He gives me a wink. I smile in reply.

"Well, I got to get back over there." He says gesturing with his hand to the group of guys working. "Bye, Katniss." He says while starting to walk back, but then he turns around, walking backwards and say's something else. "Oh, and that wasn't nice what you did to him this morning." He says while pointing his finger at Gale.

Before I can reply, he's laughing and already to far for him to hear me speak. I move my glance toward Gale's who's grinning and trying to hide his laugh."Gale!" I say and give him a nice slap on the shoulder. I don't like that he's telling other people about _our _business.

"He's the only one I told, Catnip. So, How'd the meeting go?" He asks, trying to change the subject.

I do my best to put aside what Thom said and I tell him quickly all what Principle Maddox told me. He nods his head listening. Then I tell him what I came here for.

"…The room is a complete mess. Do you think when your done I could get your help with cleaning it?" I ask. Hoping he'll say yes. I could get Prim though?

"Yeah, sure. I might be able to go now. Hold on." He says while walking back off to the group of guys he was with.

After talking with them for several seconds I see him grab his coat off of the ground and put's it on as he makes he way to me.

"Ready?" He asks. I nod my head in reply.

We walk hand in hand to the school…

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**_Chapter 3 Preview: What will happen when Katniss has to face hard memories of her father? What will Gale do to 'lighten' the mood? And what will happen when she finds something her father left behind for her?_**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N - Hello all! Chapter 3 is ready to be read and reviewed! It took me forever to write this, so I would have thought it would be longer, but it's here! It's got some sad moments but some humor, too. It DOES have some sensuality in it to those of you who don't want to read it. Just skip over it! (I thought the ending was pretty funny;)**

**Occy3- You read my mind! Don't worry.. Peeta's on his way! Read the 'next chapter preview' to find that out! **

**Well, I'm not really sure when I will get to put Chapter 4 up. Most likely tomorrow(Saturday) sometime but I have plans all day.. but they might get canceled. So _please _keep checking the Facebook page for when I will be posting Chapter 3. Again most likely tomorrow(Saturday) sometime, could be early in the morning or past midnight at night (my time). But then again, The plans I have might get canceled. Anyways, I'll shut up now! Enjoy lovies! Reviews are appreciated! - Macayla **

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We pretty much jog to the school to beat the unexpected rain. It was a little overcastted, but I didn't think enough for rain. When we get to the school, I lead Gale to the music classroom that Mrs. Mildred showed me. It takes me a few seconds, but I finally get the door open and step inside, Gale following behind.

"Man, it is a mess." He says under his breath as he's surveying the room.

I watch his as he does, His beautiful grey seam eyes glancing around the room. He's much different from the boy I met in the woods five years ago, heck, he's different from the boy I knew a few months ago. The mines and marriage has changed him. Mostly good changes. If I do anything, even bending over to pick up my arrows, he won't let me anymore. He insist he does them. At first I thought it was sweet, but now it's slightly annoying. I won't tell him that of course. But there's also a few changes that just don't seem to be like him. His usual bubbly spirit when coming out from the woods has disappeared, and has now been replaced by utter and complete exhaustion. I blame that solely on the mines.

"Well, I guess we should get crack'n. What's first?" He asks while wrapping his arms around me.

"I don't know.' I reply honestly. "I guess we should pick up all this paper on the floor first."

"Alright." He says. He unwraps his arms around me and walks past me to begin working, but not without slapping my butt.

A few weeks ago, or even last week I would have yelled at him for doing something like that. But now it only brings a grin to my face. The next ten minutes we pick up hundreds of sheet music and different type of music testes from the floor, placing them in a neat pile on top of the flat surface of the piano. I'll have to talk to Mrs. Mildred, or Principle Maddox about getting a desk from one of the old unused classrooms.

"Hey, look at this." Gale says while still bent over picking something up from the floor.

"What?" I ask while joining him.

He doesn't say anything as he hangs me the piece of paper and stands with me.

"I think it's something of your fathers. Did he use to use this room?" He asks.

I'm to preoccupied to answer. It's a half written Piano piece and lyrics, written in my fathers hand writing. It has a note written at the top-

_My dear sweetheart,_

_I've written this piece in hopes, when your old enough, that your help me finish it. You bring so much joy to my life and this song describes it. Sadly, I've ran out of notes and words to describe you and the joy. That's where you come in. I love you, baby girl. _

_-Your Father. _

I'm unaware of the tears in my eyes until I feel Gale wrap his arms around me and push the fallen hair away from my face. I examine the music, from being in the room for God knows how long, almost all the notes and lyrics are completely faded. I can barley read it, but I do my best. The lyrics are completely gone, so that's out of the question. But the notes are still there somewhat. To my surprise, it's acutely a slower song. I look up from the paper to see Gale's eyes trained on me. I know he's probably curious to what it is, so I hang him the paper. Glad that it's out of my sight and hands. It doesn't have any date, so I'm not sure when exactly he wrote it. But I must have been young, it said _'when your old enough'_. But why was it left in this room? And the other piece I found with his hand writing? I'm not aware that he used this room. I would have thought Mrs. Mildred would have told me.

Gale doesn't say anything as he unwraps his one arm from around me and walk toward the Piano. Placing the paper next to the stack instead of in it. Right as he turns back toward me, that's when I start crying. _Damn it._

He hurriedly jogs back over to me, rewrapping his arms around me. I lay my head on his chest while his hands make soothing circles on my back. I'm not crying hard, but enough to send a few stray tears down my cheek's. Gale says soothing words to me, but what helps the most it when he removes his hand's from my beck, and tilts me chin up. Kissing me right between the eyes. Once he does that, I finally stop crying. But now I have puffy red cheek's, watery eyes and a runny nose.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks in a calming voice. I shake my head no.

"Come on, we still got to clean this." I say.

I reach up and give him a quick kiss. All of a sudden I'm overwhelmed with desire, wanting more. It's the first time I felt that outside of at least our own house. But I hold back, knowing now isn't the time.

Over the next hour or so we work in silence. We finally get all the papers picked up and put into the pile, we grab the old broom in the corner and sweep the floors once we stack the chairs. While we do all this, I can't help but to continue thinking of my father. I at least manage to control the tears, but I catch Gale giving me concerned glances and it's making me mad. Why? I'm not really sure. He's worried about me I know. That's his job. But I don't need him continually being worried about me. I wait until I catch another one of his glances-

"Gale!" I shout angrily.

"What?" He asks calmly. Differing from my angry tone.

"I don't need your damn concern." I shout at him while dropping the broom I was sweeping with.

He come's over to me.

"Katniss, Why don't you go home. I'll finish this." He says calmly again. I'm even more mad now, but why?

"I don't need to go home, Gale! I'm not a child!" I shout at him again.

I see hurt in his eyes, and I immediately feel guilty. Yes I'm in a sad, down, upset mood. But I shouldn't be taking it out on him.

"I'm sorry." I say barley audible. Hoping he'll forgive me.

"It's ok." He says while wrapping his arms around me again. He leans his forehead against mine. "Do you feel better now?" He asks in a soothing voice.

"A little." I reply. I do feel better toward him, but I'm still sad and upset.

"Well, maybe this will help." He says through a whisper.

He meets my lips with his. Immediately deepening the kiss. It catches me a little off guard, but I begin kissing him back. I willingly let his tongue into my mouth. I feel it again, the desire. But we've never done it outside of our own bedroom. I'm hoping he'll quiet soon, but I don't want him to. He gently pushes me backwards until my back hit's the flat surface of the Piano. I should stop him. I know I should. But as soon as his hands go under my shirt and toward my chest, I know I'm to far gone now. When he squeezes, I moan, quite loudly into in mouth. This may be the first time we do it outside the bedroom. I'm I anticipating it? Or am I nervous? I'm a little bit of both.

He removes one of his hands from under my shirt and reaches behind me to move the stack of papers on top of the Piano. Then he gently picks me up, setting me on the edge of it. I wrap my legs around him. I know I should really stop his now. We shouldn't be doing this now, especially not here. But I know we are far gone now to quiet. He gently pushes me back until I'm laying on top of the Piano, with my bum just hanging off. I finally speak when I feel his hands undoing my pants-

"Gale." I say breathlessly.

"I'll make it quick." He says with a wink, remembering our conversation this morning. "It's my turn to get you back now."

Just as he finishes that sentence he pulls me pants and underwear down, but just to my ankles. His intentions _are _to make it quick. His quickly follows. He's tall enough, so he lines himself up with me, pushing into me slowly. The feeling is still new to me, although it's becoming more natural. But I still gasp when I feel him inside. With his hands, he grabs me underneath both of my legs, above my knees and quickly finds a rhythm. After almost a minute we both start to come at the same time. Just as our loud moans fill the room the door quickly swings open-

"Oh! Oh! Sorry!" Says Mrs. Mildred.

We both finish just as she slams the door back closed. I'm pissed now, not at her though, at Gale! He pulls out of me and pulls his pants up. I sit up, doing the same.

"Gale! You nimrod!" I say angrily. But all he does it start laughing. "Gale! It's not funny!" I shout through gritted teeth.

"I'm… I'm… sorry, but it is!" He says through his laughter.

"Not it's not!" I shout at him. I know my cheek's must be beet red now.

"Alright, alright." He says while slowly controlling his laughter. I keep a straight face. He must read my angered expression. "I'm sorry, ok?" He says apologetically.

I nod my head in response. It's not his fault that she walked in. Hopefully she'll act like it never happened. I will. Gale holds out a hand for me as I jump down off of the Piano. He gives me a quick kiss on the forehead-

"Thank you for that." He says. Then he resumes sweeping where I left off.

I try to rid my head at what just happened. In the next thirty minutes we manage to get the floors completely swept and cleaned and reset the chairs in the two semi circles they were in before.

"What's in those boxes over there?" Gale asks as I'm setting the last chair in place.

I hadn't even paid it much mind, but there's three good size boxes stacked on top of each other in the far corner of the room.

"I'm not sure. No one said anything about them." I reply as we both walk over to them. "I'll go ask Mrs. Mildred." I say. He nods his head in reply.

I leave the room and walk down a few hallways to where I know her classroom is. Hopefully she'll be in there. I find the door wide open so I slowly walk in. And thankfully she is there, writing what I'm assuming is Monday's lesson on the chalk board. I clearer my throat to get her attention.

"Oh, come in dear." She says while turning around. I walk in just a bit further.

I hope, pray that she won't mention what she saw a bit ago. But she does…

"I'm sorry, about…" She says, slowly trailing off from her words.

"It's ok. I'm sorry, too." I reply quickly. I know my cheek's must be beet red again because she's holding back a grin.

"Well, I was coming to see if you two needed any help?" She asks.

I tell her about the boxes and she tells me she doesn't know what they are. I lead the way back to the room with Mrs. Mildred following. When were back in, she flashes Gale a genuine smile and stares at the boxes.

"Well, I guess were going to have to open them up and find out!" She says cheerfully.

We do just that to find nothing but a bunch of school supplies in two of them, and sheet music in another. She leaves the music and a few of the supplies with me and takes the rest to Principle's Maddox office. I finish getting the room ready, which only takes me a few minutes. When I finally look around the finished room, I'm, for the first time, feeling a bit excited. Still nervous, but excited. It must be around lunch time because my stomachs growling and I'm pretty sure I can hear Gale's, too.

"Well, I guess it's ready. Do you have to be back with the guys?" I ask. Hoping he won't.

"No, they let me go for the day." He says through a smile.

"Ok, good. Let's go home for lunch. I'm starving." I say.

"Me too. And I wasn't quite finished with you yet." He says with a wink. I blush just on queue.

I guess were passing another milestone. Talking and even doing it outside the bedroom.

The rain has somewhat stopped when we leave the school and start the walk to our home in the Seam. Just as we walk up our front porch it starts to pour down rain this time. Gale goes in the house first, then myself.

"What are you guys doing here?" Gale says playfully.

I step around him to see Prim and Posy, sitting at the table eating something. Posy has something white smeared across her face.

"Mama made pudd'n." Says Posy while practically jumping from her seat with excitement.

It's something only on occasions she or my mother are able to make. It's hard to get the ingredients'. I pull out a chair in front of them and take a seat.

"So what's this got to do with the two of you being here?" I ask playfully as well. Prim goes to speak but Posy cuts her off-

"Mama told us to tell you, so you can have some." She says while sticking a spoonful of the pudding into her mouth.

"Were you guys planning on doing 'something'?" Says Prim while raising her eyebrows and grinning.

I almost fall out of my seat at her question. Gale starts cracking up behind me.

"Prim!" I shout.

"Hey! I was just asking." Says Prim defensively through her light laugh.

I look over to Posy who seems to be utterly confused.

"What were you planning on doing, Kat Kat?" Asks Posy curiously. Prim speaks before I do-

"Sex Posy." She says. Now Gale's busting on laughter. I hear him slap his hand on the kitchen counter. I can't believe my thirteen year old sister is talking like this.

"Prim! That's enough!" I shout. Doing my best to hold in this random bit of laughter.

"What's sex?" Asks Posy. That's when I lose all control of my laughter….

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_**Chapter 4 Preview: How will Katniss answer Posy's difficult question? How will Katniss's first day as District 12's Music Teacher go? And what will happen will when a certain blond hair, blue eyed baker's son becomes her student? **_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N - Hello! Chapter 4 is here and ready! Now.. I'm sorry but Peeta is coming in the next chapter, not this chapter. I apologize, this chapter took a bit of a different route then I planned. But I like it, hopefully you will too! I love the Posy moments in this chapter. Now the lullaby in this chapter is one I found online, I think it's on youtube if you want to know the tune, but just so you know I didn't write it or anything.**

**Now, I will have chapter 5 either up late tomorrow(Sunday) night(U.S. EST) OR sometime Monday, and it WILL have some Peeta in it! :D :D The next chapter is going to be great! Hopefully you guys enjoyed chapter 3 and will enjoy this chapter, chapter 4! Tell me what ya think!? Much love - Macayla**

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How in the world am I supposed to answer that question to an almost five year old? And why would Prim even say something like that? Joking or not, she shouldn't of said that. Just as I'm controlling my laughter, Gale comes over and picks Posy up. Setting her on his hip.

"Well, my little Princess, that's something you'll learn about when you get older." He says while grabbing the napkin off the table and wiping her mouth that has pudding smeared all across it.

"But I want to know now, Gale Gale's! I'm a big girl!" Posy says with a disappointment in her tone.

"Yes, you are a big girl Pos. But you have to be a really, _really_ big girl." Replies Gale. I watch as Posy's brows cease in concentration.

"I'll ask Mama. She'll tell me!" Says Posy confidently. I cover my mouth with my hand to hold in my laugh.

"Good going, Prim!" He says while placing a now grinning Posy back into her seat. She resumes eating her pudding.

Just then the front door swings open, hitting the wall loudly.

"Hey hey hey!"

I have my back turned toward the door, but there's no mistaking Rory's voice when you hear it. Gale slides into the seat next to Posy.

"There a thing called knocking. Try it." I say over my shoulder teasingly. Gale and Prim laugh.

Rory slides his arm over my shoulders. It feels good to finally have our old, playful, joking Rory back. He's only been talking to me again for the past week or so. But it helped when Hazel told him he could have Gale's old room.

"So, what we be talking about?" He asks while giving me a wink. I just roll my eyes.

"Sex!" Says Posy in her high pitch toddler voice.

For the second time, I almost fall out of my seat. Prim puts her forehead on the table, hiding her laugh, and Gale's biting his bottom lip to hide his.

"Whoa. Tough subject there?" He says. I was expecting some kind of joke from him. But I think it even caught him off guard.

"No we weren't!" Replies Gale.

Gale tells him what Prim said and Rory just laughs and shrugs it off. We go over to Hazel's house and eat some of the pudding she made. It's been at least a year since I've had it and it's one of my favorites, so I gladly accept it. We decide the pudding filled us up so I do nothing but play with Posy all afternoon while Gale helps Hazel with a few things around the house. I ask if she needs my help, but she turns it down. Posy, Prim and I are making crowns with flowers in the living room when Gale comes in from outside, taking a seat on the couch I'm leaning against.

"What you girls doing?" He asks.

"We are making crowns!" Says Posy while jumping up, putting her half way down crown on her head.

"Their perfect for the three most beautiful Princess's!" Replies Gale.

Posy's eye's brighten at Gale's words. She comes over to in front Gale, next to me-

"Am I really a Princess?" She asks. I smile at her excitement and so does Prim. But just then Hazel calls for her from the kitchen.

"You are, Posy. That why I always call you Princess!" Replies Gale. She turns toward me and I wrap one of my arms around her tiny figure.

"Am I, Kat Kat?" She asks. I've never been a fan of children, but I adore Posy.

"No. Your not. You're a queen!" I say. I hear Gale give a light laugh from behind me.

"Really?" Says Posy gasping with excitement.

"Really!" I reply.

I join Gale on the couch and he wraps his arm around my waist as we listen for the next five minutes what would happen if she was queen. Me and Gale do nothing but smile and nod our heads. I think she's talking more to herself then to us. I listen to every word, but one sentence catches me a bit off guard-

"And then, in my Kingdom, there would be lots and lots of food so no one dies hungry like here."

I can almost hear the sadness in her voice, but she quickly regains her excited spirit and continues telling us about her 'Kingdom'. I exchange a concern look to Gale, but he just gives me a sad smile. It is sad that Posy, a four year old, would say and know about something like that. But here in District 12, it's the sad reality.

I never thought Posy would shut up but she finally does when her name gets called from Vick's room. She skips off to answer her brother. As soon as she's out of sight Gale starts laughing.

"She's so cute!" I say through a smile.

"That she is." He replies.

Later on that evening during the Sunset, we catch up on our hunting. Getting several Squirrels, a few Rabbits and Fish and a beaver that swam into the net. We make a quick dinner once were back home and retire to bed, but not without finishing the game he started last night.

XX

That morning I awake with the early Sunday morning sun peering into the room. I reclose my eyes at the brightness and turn over, seeking Gale's warmth. Instead I'm met with a cold, empty space. I open my eyes to find just that and sigh. Where in the world could he be? My question is soon answered when I smell something coming from the kitchen downstairs. Breakfast is a rare thing in the seam, thankfully though, with the hunting that Gale and I do, were able to eat it more often then most people. I decide to wait for Gale to come get me, but after a few minutes of laying there and smelling the food, I can't take it any longer. I quickly get out of bed and make my way down the stairs. I get in the kitchen just as he's taking whatever he's cooking off the stove. He doesn't know I'm here yet, so I walk up behind him, wrapping my arms around him and resting my head on his back.

"Good morning, sweet pea. Sleep good?" He asks.

"Yes. You?" I ask, too through a yawn.

"I did." He replies.

We sit down at the table to a breakfast of chopped rabbit. There's little conversation until he mentions tomorrow. My first day as the Music Teacher. I tell him about my nervousness and excitement. But like he says, it is a plus that our have Prim, Rory and Vick. And even Posy in a few months when she starts school.

"Are you excited for Posy to start school?" I ask.

Posy has always been Gale's little girl, and like I'm a mother to Prim, Gale's a father to Posy. Gale's the only father figure in her life, never having met her own. Gale told me once, that when she started talking, she would call him 'dada'. He said it was sweet and sad at the same time, more sadder then cute.

"Yeah, just sad to see her growing up." He says while moving the food on his plate around with his fork.

I nod my head in reply and we finish eating in silence. We quickly get the dishes done and then I start working on tomorrow's music lesson.

All afternoon and evening, only stopping for a quick lunch, I shift through the box of sheet music I brought home. It's full of old songs and lullabies. I come across an old lullaby my father use to sing me called 'Sweeter The Dawn'. It starts off rather sad at first-

_A cold winter night Not long agoDeep in a forest in fresh fallen snowThe stars were as bright as the eyes of a fawnCuddled close to her mother, awaiting the dawn_

_Mamma I'm cold. Baby, I knowSoon the sun will rise and your shivers will goAnd this bitter wind, it will be goneThe colder the night the sweeter the dawn_

_A baby bunny was hopping near byMamma and fawn, they heard him cryCome here little bunny Tell us what's wrongWhy are you out in this wind cold and strong_

_The bunny hopped over, sniffled and saidI wish I was home, all snug in my bedBut I lost my family somewhere in the stormNow I'm all alone, and not very warm_

Then the last bit becomes more happy-

_Sweet heart it's too cold to be out aloneTomorrow we'll find them But tonight we're your homeCome cuddle with us, the sun won't be longThe colder the night the sweeter the dawn_

_They cuddled and waited for the morning lightAnd little by little the sky became brightThe sun warmed their faces, and then said the fawnThe colder the night the sweeter the dawn_

The tune is pretty easy and only repeats itself each verse, As long as the older, younger kids can get it, the tiny ones will. And it's pretty easy for me to play on the Piano. The song floods old memories of my father. He would mostly sung it to me before bed, but sometimes when we were in the woods, too. I remember how the Mockingjay's would fall completely silent at his voice.

It's late evening by the time I choose this song. Gale's cooking dinner not just for the two of us, but Prim, my mother and his family. They all come over just in time and we sit down for a dinner of Beaver Stew. The conversation is light and of course Hazel asks me about tomorrow, I reply the same answer to her as I have been to everyone that asks. After dinner we play a few rounds of 'go fish' until it's bed time. Everyone goes home, leaving Gale and I alone. I quickly go upstairs to wash and change into my old faded nightgown, letting my hair down from it's braid. I walk out of the bathroom to find Gale already tucked into bed waiting on me. I slip into the covers on my side, resting my head on his chest. I know he can tell I'm nervous, especially when he starts running his fingers through my hair. It calms me though-

"Don't be scared about tomorrow, alright?" He asks soothingly. I never understand how his voice can be so deep and manly but yet so soothing. I nod my head in reply.

I quickly find sleep to the sound of Gale's heartbeat against my ear.

XX

I wake to the sound of birds chirping and the early morning sun light just making it's appearance through the window. Sadly though, No Gale. He leaves for the mines before I even wake. I slowly crawl my way out of bed and over to my dresser. I'm to nervous to eat anything, although I know I need to.

I open the top drawer of the dresser,

Professional clothes?

I pull out the clothes that Hazel gave me. She actually gave me nice, professional looking clothes. Back before she married Gale's father, she use to do something in the offices at the school. I can't remember what exactly, she wasn't a teacher though.

I pull on a black fitted skirt that cuts off right above my knees, and a plain blue, shirt sleeved v-neck shirt. Surprisingly, everything fits well. I _hate _wearing skirts just as much as I hate wearing dresses. But I quickly get over it and walk into the bathroom. I look into the mirror, undeceiving rather or not to braid my hair or not. But I choose the latter and only brush it out. When my hair's down, it makes me look older and… more professional. I try to completely take my mind off of the school and continuing focusing on getting dressed. I contemplate the plain black heels my mother gave me, or my black flats. I end up choosing the latter again. I never wear heels. I've only wore then once to my grade graduation last year and I almost tripped on the little plat form. Gale still holds that against me.

I make my way downstairs and into the kitchen to find a little brown bag on the counter with a note on it-

_Catnip,_

_I made you a lunch to bring with you. I know you'll do great, hon. Everyone, including myself, believe's in you. I know that you father couldn't be prouder of you, I am. I have a surprise for you later. I love you very much!_

_Gale._

I open the bag to find some of the left over Beaver Stew and a piece of stale bread. Teacher's eat lunch the same time that all the grades do. I hadn't even thought about lunch, thankfully Gale did though. I take the note and place it in the bag. I wonder what the surprise is? He _knows_ I hate surprises!

I take the bag and stuff it into my game bag as well as the few copies of the song I'll be teaching. I sling the bag over my shoulder and head out the door. I try to control my shacking as I make my way to the school, but I don't have any luck. The town is pretty empty at this time of the morning, the only people out are the merchants preparing to open their business's. A few of them smile at me and I return it. I'm completely lost in my own thought about the song when I bump into someone, knocking us both down on the ground and shattering a few of the bottles the man has all over myself and him. I quickly realize the bottles are liquor and the man is our District game mentor, Haymitch Abernathy. He stands quickly and I do the same. There's no missing the total rage on his face-

"Damn it girl! Watch where the hell your going!" He shouts at me.

I don't even have time to say anything before he's walking past me. I'm pretty sure I hear him mutter the words 'damn teenagers'. I look down to find my shirt and skirt not completely, but pretty good and wet with the liquor he spilled on me. That's just great! I'll be going to my first day at work reeking of alcohol! That will make a nice impression?

I quickly take out an old rag I carry around in my bag and do my best patting myself dry. It helps, but not that smell that's now coming from me. I stuff the rag back into my bag with frustration. There's not much I can do about the smell but tell the truth if anyone asks.

I continue my now short walk to the school. I pretty much jog though knowing I'm now running several minutes behind. The teachers are to be there at least an hour early and I'm well over thirty minutes late. I get to the school breathlessly and open the front doors, racing down the mostly empty hallways and to the music room. I get there, expecting to use the key to unlock the door, but it's already unlocked and wide open. I walk in to find Principle Maddox sitting in one of the chairs, clearly waiting on me.

"We need to talk, Katniss." She says angrily.

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_**Chapter 5 Preview: What will Principle Maddox say to Katniss about being late, and the alcohol smell? Will she believe her, or not? Who will defend her? A certain bakers son? And what will happen when Gale brings up a diffucelt conversation and question to Katniss? **_


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N - Hello all! Here it is, Chapter 5! Yay! And guess what... It's longer AND there's some Peeta, but he will really be coming out in the next chapter. I really like this chapter and hope you will, too!**

**Occy3- There's some Peeta in here for you but he will really come out in the next chapter! GlassHeart1993- Thank you for pointing out about Posy's age. I'm sorry!:( I'm never around children that much, being one of the youngest in my family, both home and extended. Just picture her as a very smart almost five year old;) apologizes again!**

**Well, I'm sorry I was unable to update yesterday(sunday). I went and saw Iron Man 3 (Amazing movie!). The best part was seeing the Catching Fire trailer on the big screen! :D :D It was awesome! Anyways, Chapter 6 will be up sometime tomorrow(Tuesday) in the late afternoon/late evening my time. Enjoy Chapter 5 until then. Reviews are appreciated. Much love, Macayla**

***UPDATE 5/7/13: I'm_ very_ sorry, but Chapter 6 will be pushed back until tomorrow(Wednesday) now. **

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I slowly make my way to one of the chairs next to her, she doesn't take her eyes off me once. This is clearly more then me just being late. But what could it be, then? Besides that one incident with Prim, I have an almost perfect record at the school. I slide into the seat next to her and she crinkles her nose, obviously smelling the alcohol. Were sitting shoulder to shoulder so it wouldn't surprise me.

"Katniss, your late." She says flatly. Never dropping her gaze from me.

"Yes, I'm sorry. It won't happen again." I reply. Much to formal for my liking.

She gets up from her chair and walks around the room-

"There's something we need to discuss, it's serious matter, Katniss." She says. If I'm not mistaken, I can almost hear fear in her voice.

I nod my head in reply, although she's not looking at me. She comes back over and takes a seat on my other side this time, she leans in head in and begins to whisper her next words-

"Airgusta, We have leaked information that today their planning on raiding all Districts Schools. It's not certain, but were almost sure. This is no funny business, Mrs. Hawthorn." She says.

I wasn't laughing, I'm almost dumbstruck. A raid? It doesn't make sense to me. But another thing doesn't make sense to me-

"And the Capitol?" I ask. Sounds a little strange to me?

"That's not their goal, Katniss." She says, the fear being much more evident in her tone. "Their goal is to destroy us, the Districts. By doing that, their cutting off all supplies to them. Then they'll go in and fight with the Capitol. Without District 2, their have no army and without us, no electricity, and so on, Katniss. This is bigger then anybody thought, their planning on wiping us out." She says. She takes a deep breath.

The words sink in and I lose my gaze, starring at the floor. She's right. District 2 is where the Capitol has their Army Base set up. By destroying them, they can't fight. Airgusta is much smarter then I imagined. But why in the world is she telling _me _this? My mouth echoes my thoughts-

"But why are you telling me this?" I ask.

"Because, if they made this announcement nationally, all the older kids would be panicking, and the small children would be utterly confused." She says.

Another thought consumes me, and I almost want to slap her-

"But when why didn't you cancel school?" I ask with my voiced raised. Not from panic, but from anger.

"Because Katniss, say we do that, or did, and when they show up to raid us and find no one here, that lets them know we've been tipped off. We have a spy in Airgusta too and we can't afford to lose that." She says.

"So what are we going to do?" I ask.

Class's must be preparing to start, the door is still open and children, mostly older, are making their way to their class rooms.

"There's not much we can do but be prepared. Once everyone's in, we'll be locking all outside doors and there will be Peacekeepers lining every entrance. The Capitol has mandatory Hovercrafts in certain parts of the sky in every District." She says, her tone beginning to even back out.

I'm almost surprise that the Capitol is helping us, but if they take out us, their take out the Capitol. Their only protecting us in protecting themselves. Principle Maddox continues talking-

"I want you to carry out everything like normal, do you understand?" She asks. I nod my head in reply. "I don't want you giving them a doubt that anything is wrong. This is a life or deat-"

"Good morning Principle Maddox"

Someone says from the doorway cheery. I turn slightly around to see the bakers son, Peeta again standing in the doorway.

"Good morning Peeta. I'll be in my office in just a minute." She says, changing her tone from serious to a cheery voice to match his.

His eyes flicker from her to me. He was already smiling, when is Peeta Mellark _not _smiling, but when he meets my gaze his smile grows bigger. I slightly return it. He walks over to where we are sitting and stands directly in front of me, he looks down into my eyes and I do the same. Never realizing how perfectly crystal blue is eyes are. Just then a warm shiver runs down my spine and catches me off guard. Should I say something? A thank you for that bread five years ago? No, not here. Not in front of Principe Maddox. But maybe it will he easier with her here. But then she'll start to ask questions?

"How are you doing, Peeta?" She asks, making him lose my gaze and glance to hers.

"Oh, I'm doing fine. In yourself?" He asks.

"Doing great." She replies. "I'll be in my office in just a minute with you." She adds.

He nods his in reply and then moves his gaze back to me, sending another warm shiver down my spine. Why?

His smile widens again. He's about to open his mouth to say something when his gaze drops to my left hand, then my plain gold wedding ring. He keeps his smile, but it drops slightly.

"Congratulations." He says, almost choking out the words.

He doesn't look into my eyes again, but instead he quickly leaves the room before I can reply, taking off down the hallway. He looked mad, or upset.

But why?

Principle Maddox interrupts my thoughts-

"Well, please remember what I told you, Katniss." She says, her voice back to an even tone.

"Yes, I will." I reply.

"Good. Remember you'll have the little children for an hour before lunch, then lunch break, then another thirty minutes afterwards. Once your finished your free to go home." She says with a smile.

I return in. I hadn't realized I won't be working full school days. The thought of the extra time excites me.

"I must be going now. Come find me if you need anything. Remember what we talked about, Katniss." She says.

I nod my head in reply and she smiles. I hadn't realized until now that Principle Maddox is not very old. Maybe in her mid thirties. Her facial features are still young, and her long, straight blond hair falls down well past her shoulders. Her green eyes standing out brightly. It's a very unusual color for District 12.

She rises from her seat and walks past me, heading for the door. But she quickly backs up just slightly and leans in to me, whispering in my ear so low I can barley hear her-

"And if I smell alcohol from you again, I'll inform the Peacekeepers of your little…" She pauses for a second. "… hunting trips."

Her words almost hiss like a snake in my air. Her tone had completely changed from being worried, to evil. How in the hell does she know that? If she came to the Hob maybe? But I've never seen her in there. The old, rusted, off tuned bell rings signaling class and she flashes me another smile, which this time I don't return and heads out the door and down the hallway. I feel my hands beginning to make fist but I quickly take a deep breath and undo them. I try to rid my mind of that comment while I prepare for the children. I still have about two hours until their supposed to come, so that gives me plenty of time.

I walk over to my bag I placed in the chair in front me and I take out the extra copies of the old lullaby I choose. I only have a few extras but it shouldn't be a problem, most of them won't know how to read. I place a copy of the song in every few chairs. Then I take my copy of it and walk over to the piano, taking a seat in the creaky wooden piano bench. I can't quite think of this piano the same after what Gale did to me on it.

Gale.

I smile at the thought of him. How I wish I could talk to him about all what Principle Maddox told me. He'd know that right words to say. But it would probably send him on some type of rant about the Capitol. I clearer my head of the thought of him for now and place the sheet music on the little stand above the keys. I read the notes several times through before I let my fingers copy them on the keyboard. I miss a few keys the first few times, but by the eleventh time I play it, I finally get it down pretty well. It's not difficult thankfully.

Just then the door bust open that I had closed in hopes the piano wouldn't disturb the class across the hall, and a little boy comes marching in, leading a long, very long line of children into the room, their teachers following-

"Adair, I told you to stop opening the doors like that!" She shouts to him as he takes a seat on the front row.

I walk over to the music stand that stands directly in front of the two rows of chairs. The boy looks to be about seven or eight. He doesn't reply to his teacher but stares at me. The rest of the children make their way into the room, there must be at least sixty or seventy children between the ages of five and ten. I quickly realize were not going to have enough chairs, most of them take a seat on the floor while the younger ones sit in the chairs. I make a mental note to take the chairs up and have them all sit on the floor next time. Once their all seated the teachers retreat to the back of the room, whispering amongst themselves. I clearer my throat, and begin to introduce myself. I almost choke the words 'Mrs. Hawthorn' out. But it's the truth. Once I'm finished with my introduction, I hear a chorus of hellos, hi's, and good mornings from the older children, and several waves and shy smiles from the younger ones. I begin with walking back over to the piano, playing just the melody and having them hum it. After a good five minutes the whole room is filled with their hums. Then I begin teaching the words… singing the words. I stand in front of the music stand and quietly begin to sing the song, knowing I need to sing the words first in order for them to catch on. My voice starts off cracked and worn from years of no use, but after the third verse I'm louder and my voice in clearer. I feel tears begin to form in my eyes, but I quickly hold them in. Knowing now's not the time to cry. I feel a peace and comfort that I know has to be from my father. He'd be proud, I keep telling myself.

As I'm approaching the end the room is silent, only being filled with my voice and every child, even the little five year olds are sitting completely still, listening to me. I finish the song and the room burst into applause. This wasn't supposed to be a talent show. I make sure the older children have the extra copies and I ask them to sing it with me this time. After several, several tries, they finally begin to catch it, even the little ones.

Just as we finish it for what seems like the hundredth time, the school bell rings signaling lunch.

"Line up!" One of the teachers yell.

They quickly make a long line, filling the room and slowly make their way down the hallway. It takes a good minute or two before all the children are out of the room. I grab my bag, making sure I packed the lunch Gale left me and trail behind the extremely long line of children. I walk a little bit behind one of the teachers that is carrying one of her five year old students. She slightly turns around to see me and gestures with her hand for me to join her. I pick up my pace and walk beside her-

"Katniss, you did phenomenal!" She says joyfully.

"Thank you." I manage out. The little girl smiles at me and I smile back.

"The kids had the most fun I've seen them have in a while." She says.

I can't argue that it wasn't fun. I did enjoy myself. It felt good to be doing something I like. My fathers presence was strong, especially when I sang by myself the first time.

"I'm glad." I reply.

We make it to the cafeteria just as all the other classes are. Here in twelve, you can either bring your own lunch, if you can, or eat the sloppy distrusting food that Capitol is legally supposed to send us. It's absolutely horrible, most people eat it though. It's something when your on the brink of starvation. Thankfully Prim and I never had to eat it.

I break away from the children and search the large cafeteria for Prim, or Gale's brothers. The room is huge, having well over a hundred tables and the roof must be at least three stories tall, making everyone's voice much louder then it is. I walk around a bit in search for them but then I hear someone behind me-

"Hey Catnip!"

I turn around and there he is-

"Gale! What are you doing here?" I ask through a grin.

He gives me a kiss before he answers my question. He doesn't lean in though. He's in his mining uniform and covered in coal dust.

"This was the surprise. Did you get the note?" He asks smiling. I can't help the grin across my face either.

"Yes. Thank you for the lunch!" I say while lifting my game bag up off my hip.

"No problem. Let's find a seat." He says.

He takes my hand and after a few minutes of searching the busy cafeteria we find an empty table against the wall. I can't believe he was able to obviously get off work. The mines aren't that lenient usually. He never answered my question, so I ask him again as we take a seat across from each other-

"You never did answer my question?" I ask while taking the lunch our of my bag. I realize Gale doesn't have anything to eat.

"They closed the mines for the day." He says shrugging and leaning back in his chair.

"Why would they do that?" I ask. Could be because of the school threat? I wouldn't think so.

"Not sure." He says flatly while eyeing something behind me.

There's an edge in his voice. Gale's isn't a bad liar, but he's not telling me everything. I move my head a little to the side so that he's forced to look back in my eyes.

"Gale?" I say. Hoping he'll tell me why, although I already have an idea.

"They… I don't know, they didn't tell us why but I guess because of some stupid threat from Airgusta." He says while looking down at the table.

"Oh." I reply. Why would they cancel the mines because of a _school _threat?

"So, how was it?" He asks brightly. Trying to cheer the mood back up. He finally meets my eyes again.

I try giving him some of my lunch, but it refuses.

"It was good." I reply confidently. He smiles in return.

"That's good to hear! Did you have the little children?" He asks.

I nod my head in reply and he gives a light chuckle. We have small talk while I eat the left over stew from last night. It's cold, but most of the food here in twelve is. I finish eating and begin to put the plastic container back into my bag.

"So, how about we get out of here and have a little fun at home?" He says with a wink. I almost choke on the last bit of stew I was chewing. I swallow before I answer-

"I can't. I still have to teach for another thirty minutes." I say through a grin and light laugh.

We both start to get up from our seats and he wraps his arms around me, nestling his head in my neck.

"Well, I'll be waiting for you at home. I think your teacher look is sexy." He says while grabbing my butt through my skirt with both hands.

"Gale!" I protest.

I guess because of what happened Saturday he thinks this sort of stuff in public is ok with me, but it's not. But here's not the place to talk about it.

"Sorry." He says through a laugh.

He gives me another quick kiss and turns to leave-

"I need to talk to you about something impotent when you get home." He says. "Love you."

He turns and leaves before I can answer him. Just then the bell rings signaling class's to resume. I quickly make my way down the long few hallways and to my music class before the children return. I just have time to set my game bag down when the children come in. This time the door was open, but the same little boy still comes marching in, leading the large pack of kids. They all take their same seats, either in the chairs or on the floor.

This time, instead of just singing the lyrics, I decide to add the piano in there. When I start, the children immediately sing louder then they did with out it. It's a little hard to sing and play at the same time, but I manage and they seem to enjoy it even more. We sing it a good few times when the bell rings again, meaning this class is over with.

"Line up!" The same teacher yells.

But before they do, almost every child comes and gives me a hug. It brings a smile to my face when I feel their tiny arms wrap around my legs. Afterwards they all line up and head out.

I sigh when I finally realize I'm done for the day. I collect the music and place it back in my bag. I lock the door behind me and make my way out of the school, the Peacekeepers let me out without giving me trouble. As I walk through the town, making my way home, I can't help but tell myself I _did _enjoy myself. It was quiet funny when some of the children would mess the lyrics up and laugh at themselves. And it feels good to sing again. I can't say it doesn't bring painful memories of my father back. But I feel a sort of peace or calmness that I know can only come from him. I know he would be proud, and there's not doubt about that.

I make my way down the seam road wondering what Gale needs to 'talk' to me about. . . . . . .

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_**Chapter 6 preview: What does Gale need to talk about and how will Katniss react? What happens when Katniss teach's the eldest kids who begin to pick on her? And who will step up and stop them? **_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N - Hello lovies, Chapter 6 is here! I'm sorry for the delay, I had something unexpected pop up. But it's finally here!**

**Undisclosed- Thank you _SO_ much for your review, it meant so much to me. I love reading all my reviews, but ones like yours is what helps me become a better writer. And yes, the Games themselves is one horrible aspect of Panem, but I wanted to explore other aspects. When I first started writing this story and figuring out a basic plot, I never intended for the threats from Airgusta to come up, but then I thought it would make a nice drama aspect in a love story. And trust me... Airgusta hasn't even started yet ;). Thank you so much for your kind review! :) Occy3- I know! I love that she's get's the 'tingles' too! xD**

**Well, Chapter 7 will NOT be up _until _Friday. I'm sorry for another delay! But I promise it will be worth the wait, I'm trying really hard making my chapters more interesting as well as longer. Please tell me what you think, longer OR shorter? Anywho, until then, enjoy chapter 6 loves! Much love - Macayla**

**** There IS some sensuality is this chapter for those of you who choose not read it ****

**UPDATE 5/10/13 - I am _S-O_ sorry but there will be another delay. Chapter 7 WILL be up Saturday the 11th/tomorrow. SO SO SO sorry. **

* * *

I make the way to our home rather quickly. The new government issued home Gale and I are designated too is on the very far side of the Seam, the last house on the very long line of wooden, falling apart homes. The home is almost identical to Gale's family's, except one less bedroom. We got to see our home a few weeks before our wedding, when we would move in. And thankfully we did, the home was completely falling apart. Two of the windows were completely shattered out, there was water stains on the wall and the place was crawling with bugs. But the house only matched everything else here in twelve. Gale had to work of course, but I had Hazel's help with repairing what could be repaired. Thankfully, the couple who use to own the home over a decade ago, left all the furniture there and covered in white sheets. So all that was salvageable.

I continue my way down the road. After another several steps I'm only a home away from ours when I hear our neighbor call out from his porch. I stop and look over to him, he's a strange, extremely strange man. He's at least in his nineties and all he talks about his the world coming to an end. He'll go off babbling about it and then suddenly start crying, making his words inaudible. Gale says he's not all there in his mind. But I just think its _creepy. _He even looks creepy, with his long, over grown grey beard and hair, his brown overalls and his black, worn out rain boots. He's nothing but creepy!

He grabs his cane and rises from the rocking chair on his porch. Making his way slowly down the steps and toward me. I back up just slightly, he's the kind of man that looks like he'd murder you, but thankfully he keeps his distance. Stopping on the last step.

"I know it! Bombs! Death! Ah, I can see it!" He yells while pointing his cane up to the sky.

I do the very best I can with a smile and then I start slowly backing up, hoping he'll let me take a few more steps until I reach the safety of my own home.

"Stop, little girl!" He says. And I do.

'Little girl', ugg.

"It will happen!" He says while moving from the stairs and slowly making his way toward me. He suddenly lower's his voice at his next words. "I see it. Bombs. People dying in the streets."

He stops just a foot in front of me, he reeks of a disgusting odor and I wonder when he bathed last.

"Blood. Everywhere." He whispers his next words and looks to the ground. "Just like the war. Just life before."

After he finishes his words I catch a lone tear coming down his cheek. All of a sudden his words dawn on me, _'..like before'_.

"Before what?" I ask. Being careful of my tone and volume.

"Before Panem. Oh it was horrible. Fire. Blood. Floods. Thunder." He starts to cry.

But I'm extremely curious. In school, they only teach you due to government issues, there was a war, resulting in the finding of Panem. But that's it. The only teach you the basics.. But for a reason? I've never asked this question to myself. I try to find my next question, but he speaks again through his sobs.

"My family. Gone." He subsides his cry's and meets me gaze again. "My wife, oh my beautiful wife. I watched her burn in flames. And there was nothing I could do! My sons. Ah, so young. One drowned. The other trampled to death. My own mother, oh how precious she was." He says closing his eyes. "So, so precious. I watched her be gassed to death by these, horrible men."

He grabs my hands, dropping his cane to the floor.

"Their gone. _Dead_." He says, resuming his sobs. "And me. Me! Ha! I… I'm here. Alive!"

I wasn't aware of it until now, but I feel a lone tear drop from my chin.

Damn it.

Maybe this is why this man is 'creepy'. I try to think of what that day (or days, weeks) might have been like. I've only lost my father, but to lose your whole family, and then be the one to live? That must be horrible. Considering how old Panem is, and the estimate of his age, that means he would have only been in his twenties. So his sons were young, little children. Another thought hits me-

"Men? Who were they?" I ask.

"Oh, these men. Ha, these men. Black. All black. Head to toe. Hundreds, no, no thousands of them. Guns. Just shooting. A pregnant woman… bullet to the brain. Oh, oh so horrible. So terrifying!" He says, clearly holding back more tears.

"But who were they?" I ask, repeating my question. Were they really their own government? No wonder Panem came from that.

"Oh, I've burdened you enough sweetheart." He says.

His tone changes from a completely psychopath to a warm, forgiving tone. He's broken, he has no family and he's hurting.

"What's your name?" I ask. I will find out the answer to my previous question one way or another. But I want to know this for now.

"Ha, it's been years and years since anyone's asked me that." He says. He pauses and then answers my question. "Hawk. Just call me Mr. Hawk." He replies with a smile.

I take the answer for now, knowing that's not his real name. I help him with his cane and he slowly makes his way back to his porch. Talking to himself about blood and the smell.

I take a deep breath. The conversation was so… weird? Could that have anything to do with the Airgusta threats? No, because the war before Panem started within it's own country, not another country. But have we all been mistaken? Who are these men wearing all black? I shake my head of the whole conversation. I know I'll tell Gale, but not now. I know he's already waiting at home to 'talk' about something.

I quickly make my way up the front steps and into the house. Dropping my game bag on the floor and removing my coat. The house is empty. I guess I expected to see Gale waiting for me at the table, but he's not. But he's been here, there's his coal covered mining uniform sitting in _my _dirty clothes pile, by the wash board, that I need to start washing. I step over the dirty clothes and walk into the living room to find a sprawled out Gale on the couch, snoring. He never snores. I laugh at the sight of him. In nothing but his boxers and lose fitting white t-shirt, laying on his stomach with his arm hanging off the couch. I do the best to silent my audible laughs. I think of the old man, just next store who has been alone for most of his life. Probably never laughed since his family died, over seventy years ago. The thought of that makes me stop laughing. Why am I feeling pity towards him? _Damn it!_

I make my way into the kitchen, kicking off my uncomfortable flats (but better then the heels). I start brewing some tea over the stove, using the last bit of herbs we have. I'll have to go hunting after work tomorrow. I'm stirring the large pot with the wooden spoon when I feel a pair of arms wrap around me and a head rest of my shoulder. It's amazing how light Gale is on his feet. He's not small in no way, he's nothing but nearly seven feet of muscle.

"Hey." He says lightly. I return the greeting.

He takes one of his hands and shifts my hair to one side of my shoulder, pulling on it just slightly enough to make me crane my neck. He starts lightly placing kisses down my neck. I know this is more then a 'welcome home' kiss. He wants more… but I'm not in the mood. He has something to talk to me about and I have something to talk to him about.

"Gale?" I say, but it sounds more like a moan then his actual name.

He doesn't answer me, and my remark only drives him more. He moves his hands from my hip, to the bottom of my tightly fitted skirt. Pulling it up slightly. I place my hands on either side of the stove the steady myself more. This is not what I want right now, but for some reason I can't find the courage to tell him to stop. The sensation is to overwhelming already. Especially when he moves his hands from my skirt to under my shirt, grabbing both my breasts through my bra, making a loud moan escape my lips. The hunger and feelings have only grown since our marriage. I never thought I'd be happy with someone doing this to me, but I am.

He moves his hands out from under my shirt and back to my skirt while making a soft moaning sound. He eases the skirt up just a little more, making it barley cover my underwear. Somehow with his hand on my leg, he manages to spread my legs apart just slightly. We both let moans out in unison. I know I need to stop him, He moves his hand up more and this time under my skirt, finding my underwear. Through it, he starts rubbing the nerves and I throw my head back to his shoulder in a loud moan.

"Gale? We need." I moan. "To stop." I say breathlessly. "Please stop."

He still doesn't say anything but instead moves under my underwear slipping two fingers into me. I immediately tense up.

"Relax." He says against my neck.

He's done this to me several times before, but this just isn't what I planned on walking in to. After finding an even rhythm and a few minutes of moaning I finally come. Covering my mouth with my hand to quite my scream. Being mindful of the open window and the old man still sitting outside. I replace my hand on the counter, and Gale removes his hand, placing it on my hip with the other and resting his forehead against my back. We both stay like that for at least a good minute while we both gasp for air.

"Sorry." He says barley audible through his breathless voice.

I stand up straighter, making Gale move and I pull my skirt back down. I take a deep breath and continue making the now, extremely hot tea. He takes a seat at the table-

"Katniss, I'm sorry. I just missed you a lot today." He says apologetically.

Am I mad? Not really. I'm disappointed that he didn't stop when I said it. That he kept on going against my will. I know if I had pulled away, he would have definitely stopped. But I didn't, so I can't blame it all on him.

"It's ok." I say while placing the two mugs on the table and giving him a soft kiss on the lips.

I take the seat across from him and take a sip of my tea before I talk.

"So, what is it that you need to talk to me about?" I ask. I run my finger across the lip of the mug in nervousness of his answer.

"Well," He says pinching the bridge of his nose. "I talked to your mother about something."

"About what?" I ask. What in the world could it be?

"About Prim. She says she's feeling depressed again." He says.

What I want to do is get up from this table, walk down the street to my old house and slap the shit out of her. But all I do is laugh. She was doing so good (Prim says), getting up early and doing all the chores instead of them piling around the home. Either waiting on me to do them or the roaches to find a new nest.

"So why did she talk to you about it?" I ask.

"Because.." He pauses for a second. "She says she needs a break."

I start laughing again. Not an amused laugh, a down right disgusted laugh. His expression stays flat.

"From what, being a mom? She choose to be!" I say when I finish my laugh.

"I don't know, Katniss. She just asked for us to check up on her more. But I had an idea." He says.

"And what would that be?" I ask, taking a deep breath and crossing my arms.

"That she moves in with us. Prim." He says.

Finally, something good out of this conversation. I don't mind this plan out all. I just feel bad that Prim was so excited that mother was 'back' to her old self before fathers death.

"We have the spare bedroom." He reminds me after I don't answer right away.

"Yes, I think that will be best." I say, taking another sip of my tea.

It's settled, Prim will move in with us on Saturday.

"What else is on your mind, Katniss?" He asks, reaching across the table to hold my hand.

I guess now would be the time to tell him about the conversation I had with the neighbor. I start from the beginning, trying to accurately quote each word he said. The whole conversation sounded so weird to me, I wonder if Gale's going to agree?

"Hmm, strange." He says. Close enough.

"Yeah, especially the part about the men." I say, Gale nods in head in agreement.

The next words slip out of my mouth before I can stop them-

"We should have him over for dinner one night soon." I say.

I feel like slapping myself in the head. But I can't help myself, I do feel slightly sadden by this mans story. He lost everything, and who knows the last time he had a warm meal… heck, a meal itself.

"Sounds like a good idea." He says. I can't believe he agrees to this, but he does.

We both agree on Saturday for that, too. I'll have to ask him tomorrow.

The next days go by rather quickly. No harm was done to the school. Mr. Hawk agreed for dinner after a few 'no's'. And on my second day of Music class, I still have the same children, they all do great, remembering all the words. The next two days drag a little, I have the middle grades. Their a little more 'energized' surprisingly then the younger ones. And then finally Friday is here-

I roll out of bed, and open the curtains, the bright early morning sun immediately hitting my face and making me shield my eyes. I sigh as I walk over to the dresser, changing from my nightclothes to another identical skirt that I wore Monday and a tank top with a long, short sleeved purple shrug over it. I brush my hair out, leaving it down and this time, for a change I decide on the heels. I slip them on. Their not overly tall, but enough to make me a good few inches taller. I sigh, I do _not _want to where these, but last night Gale saw them and suggested I should. And he didn't make any crude jokes about my accident in them last time. I walk down the stairs and my heels clank against each stair. There's nothing I hate more then that sound. All it reminds me of is our game escort Effie Trinket.

I carefully retrieve my game bag from the table, stuffing the lunch Gale packed for me in it and head out of the door. It's hard walking in heels that are to small and gravel. I almost trip several times, but I finally make it the school… _on time_.

I walk into my Music room and begin placing extra copies of the song on every few chairs (they ended up getting me more). I picked another lullaby, more like an actual song since it's kids no older then me and the other song was suited more for children. The next two hours while I wait for them I practice it on the Piano, trying to rid my mind of the busy day tomorrow, we have Prim moving in and the man coming for dinner. I continue practicing when the door opens and they pile into the room, finding a seat. This is the class I'm most nervous about, their all around my age, several even older (eighteen). I find my place at the music stand while the last few stragglers find a seat, some still on the ground. I begin with my introduction

"Ha, Mrs. Hawthorn. So you're the one that married the slut user?" A boy in the back says.

Unlike the little children, the teachers use this opportunity for a break. I try raking my brain of what Principle Maddox told me if there's conflict. I do my best to completely ignore his remark-

"… I only have a few extra copies so please share-"

"So he hasn't got you knocked up yet like the other girls?" Another boy says from upfront this time.

I feel a rush of anger run through me, not just at the boy, but at his comment. I open my mouth to speak but I'm interrupted again-

"Oh, he didn't tell you that sweetheart? Shocker!" The same boys says, sending the whole room in laughter.

"She probably hasn't even slept with him, she's to whole!" A girl says, making them laugh more.

I feel my cheeks begin flooding with rage, and I realize my hands are making fist at my side. I'm furious at them and their words. How dare they say this stuff to me. My eyes begin swelling with tears.

"Ha, like we can't take all ninety pounds of you, whore." A boy says when he sees my hands.

"No, she's more of an assho-"

"That's enough!" A boy yells from the back.

That boy is Peeta Mellark . . . . . . .

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_**Chapter 7 Preview: What will Peeta have to say to these un-behaved kids? What else does this suspicious man have to say about the world before Panem, and the men dressed in black? Will it reveal secretes Panem never intended to reveal? And what funny, mischievous things will happen at a 'Hawthorn' sleep over? **_


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N - Hello all, Chapter 7 is FINALLY here! I am SO SO SO SO sorry for the delay, I have been _extremely_ busy so I hope you all understand! The chapter is long though! The longest (I think) that I've have wrote. I finished it at two am last night. There's a lot of stuff going on in this chapter and here is a note: The 'Hawthorn Sleepover' part has been postponed until the next chapter(8) since this chapter is already so long, and at the end, the conversation with the man is far from over.**

**CookMeister- Thank's for taking time out of your day to read my story! Means the world! Undisclosed- Thank you again for another awesome review and for answering my question in the previous A/N! I put a bit of a longer interaction but right now Peeta is hurt, the girl he's had a crush on for his whole life just married, so he try's to almost avoid her now(not in a mean way though). But you WILL see more Peeta still ;) Just maybe a little scene between Gale and him? :-O I've said enough already! Occy3- LOL! I got you some Peeta ;)**

**Well, Chapter 8 will not be up until Monday because of Mothers Day, I'm sure you all understand why for the delay there. Check the Facebook page for any changes or notices. For now, enjoy Chapter 7! Hope you all have a great Mothers Day tomorrow with you Mom's - Macayla **

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Should I be shocked that this boy stood up for me? No. He seems to be popping up in my life to often for him not to say something. I watch him as he slowly makes his way towards me, not eyeing me though. The room is completely silence and no one is moving an inch, not even myself. His expression is angered, hurt. But why would he be hurt? He doesn't really even know me. He comes and stands practically next to me, facing the crowd of silenced, shocked teenagers-

"Does this really make you happy? Messing with our own teacher? She may be no older then us, but she _is _our teacher! Who she marries or what she does isn't any of our damn business! Your all nothing but pathetic losers that have nothing else better to do!" He says, anger clearly in his voice. He turns toward me. "I'm Sorry."

Before I can respond, he quickly resumes his seat in the very back. He's sorry? I'm the one that needs to apologize for making _him _stand up for _me_. Will I ever stop owing him? I clearer my throat before I speak again-

"The three of you, to the Principles office." I say, chocking out the words.

The tears are still evident in my eyes. I believe their words hurt more then their actions. I guess my father was right when he use to say that to me and Prim. They three of them all heavily sigh and make their way to the door, slamming it behind them.

I make my way over to the Piano, avoiding eye contact with the rest of the room.

"Just follow along." I choke out again, doing my best to hold in the tears that wants to spill from my eyes.

They can read the music, so there's no need to sing it for them, thankfully. After I play the short introduction, they all join in with me at the exact same time. I guess it shouldn't surprise me that they know it, it's an old District 12 song. I barley sing and let their voices over power me. I never look up, keeping my eyes only on the keys in front of me. The rest of the time until lunch break is rather awkward, and the 'awkwardness' doesn't lighten up after lunch either. Thankfully though, the remaining thirty minutes go by rather quickly. Finally the bell rings meaning music is over. After I pull down the small flap that hides the keys on the piano, I sigh and rest my head in my hands against it while the they pile out and to their next class. I really shouldn't let Peeta go without saying something, a thank you? I left my head up to see the last few leaving, thankfully Peeta Mellark is still there… and already eyeing me.

"Peeta?" I call out a bit rusty.

I remove myself from the piano bench and walk towards him. He smiles immediately when I approach him. I almost laugh (which is completely surprising), in my heels I am at least few inches taller then him. But he's not extremely tall himself. I stutter for a second, trying to find the right words to say. He beats me to it though-

"I'm sorry they were so mean to you, Katniss." He says apologetically. Flashing me a sad smile rather then his usual cheery one.

"It's ok. _I'm_ sorry." I choke the words out… again. "Thank you. For what you said." I stager the words out quickly.

Just say it, Katniss. Thank him for the bread five years ago.

"No problem. It's what any decent person should have done." He says.

He gives me a smile again and turns to leave before I can say anything else. He diffidently isn't the same person I first briefly met. He seems to avoid much eye contact, and leaves before I can answer him. I sigh with the remaining words still hanging on my tongue. Why is it so hard to thank him for that? Maybe I'm a little nervous he won't remember it and make me look like I'm a 'nut job', as Prim puts it.

The question still lingers in my head as I collect my bag and make my way out of the school, trying to be quiet with my loud heels in the hallway as other classes have just started. As soon as I'm free from the school buildings and walking in the town, towards home, I realize I'm mad, pissed.

At Gale.

Were what they were saying true? Had he really got other girls pregnant? No, I know he didn't. He would have told me and he's not that stupid, I think. But my answer to my question doesn't bring satisfaction to me the least.

I'm more mad then ever as I make my way down the Seam road. I pass my old home, the place where Prim and my mother live. Although Prim won't be there for long. She was both excited and sadden when we told her. Of course she was excited, so was I and Gale, but she was sadden at the fact that mother is slowly slipping back into her 'haze'. When my father first died, she went into this haze of sorts for nearly the first year and a half. But slowly she stated coming back to us, not fully, but she would cook sometimes, take care of people in medical need, wash laundry and so on. She never would fully return, and still hasn't but she would get better, only to get worse a few months later, staying in bed twenty four hours a day and only ate if we brought her something. It was only last year had she finally slipped out of her haze for longer then a few months, ever since, she's been good, but now…

I briefly glance over there to see my mother sitting in one of the rockers knitting. She spots me but I quickly look away, hoping she won't say anything. And gratefully she doesn't. I quickly go into the house I share with Gale, forgetting he won't be home for another four hours. Good… maybe my anger towards him with calm down so I won't completely lose my head.

I make my way upstairs, deciding to do a little hunting while I have nothing else to do. I change from my work clothes into my hunting clothes. An old pair of jeans and a long sleeve black shirt, putting on both my hunting jacket and boots and of course braiding my hair.

I return back downstairs, grabbing my game bag. I head out the door in hopes the woods will calm me of today's craziness. The good thing about the location of the home me and Gale were appointed is that it's practically next to the fence. It differs from thee at least five minute walk to less then a minute. Once there, I slip under the fence quickly, making my way across the meadow and into the woods. I spend the next three hours catching a decent amount of game. With Mr. Hawk coming for dinner tomorrow night, Gale and I agreed we needed to do extra hunting for extra food. I end up collecting four squirrels, four rabbits, six small fish and a fox that entangled itself in a snare of Gale's. I never like to watch as a helpless animal struggles to free itself, only for me to end its life with an arrow in its heart. I never take joy in actual hunting, my father use to tell me in the older days when hunting was legal, people would do it as a sport rather then survival. But I don't see the point, I only hunt because I have to, not that I choose to.

I stuff the game into my bag, as well as a few edible berries and more herbs before retreating back to the fence. I creep out underneath it just as I see a large amount of miners coming down the seam road, obviously making their way to their homes. The miners still have another hour before they should be home. I shake my head and walk back to the house, walking up the porch just as Gale is. That's the one thing I love about the woods… it calms me. I'm still mad at him of course, but I know I can control my tongue better then before.

"Hey, babe." He says, wrapping his arm around my waist and planting a kiss on the side of my head.

"Hey." I blurt out, almost whispering. "More threats?" I ask him, gesturing to why he is home early.

He shakes his head yes. The whole week they have been making threats, everyday, only for nothing to happen. I laugh sarcastically.

"I don't get why they have you leave, their not carrying out their threats." I say angrily.

Don't get me wrong, I love having Gale home more this past week, but that only results in less work time, and less work time results in less pay. He'll be lucky to make seven coins this week.

"I know, but the small explosion down there sounded pretty real." He says, wrapping the other arm around my waist.

"What?" I ask shocked.

An explosion, small or big is dangerous in the mines. Just the slightest movement can make the whole thing collapse on top of them… just like my father, just like his father.

"It was really far off, Catnip. We just evacuated for safety." He says giving me a smile of reassuring.

"Oh." Is all I say.

I decide now's the time to bring up the question that's been on my mind, the question that's made me mad at him. I take a deep breath, making sure I don't lose my temper in anyway. Gale and I haven't fought since our marriage.

"Gale, those girls you use to sleep with, did you ever get any pregnant?" I ask, keeping my voice calm. The immediate expression on his face tells me my question shocked him.

"Of course not! What would make you think that?" He says defensively. He undoes his arms from my waist, but leaves him hands resting on my hips.

"Just asking." I whisper.

I pull away from his slight grip and start towards the door, just as my hand touches the door knob he speaks again-

"Katniss, your not telling me everything?" He says though a deep sigh. I start to feel my anger rising.

"It's nothing." I say through another whisper and turning just slightly for eye contact.

I turn around again, replacing my hand on the door knob. But he speaks again, making me stop-

"Katniss!" He shouts at me, his voice loud enough to make me jump.

"It's nothing, Gale! Nothing!" I yell at him with my back still towards him.

I've decided not to tell him about those teenagers, for no apparent reason. There's just no need to. If I did, Gale would get all defensive and probably kick all of their butts. And for some reason I definitely don't want to talk to him about Peeta Mellark.

For a third time, I place my hand on the door knob. Just as I turning it, Gale's hand smacks where the door meets the frame, just above my head. The sudden noise makes me jump. He lowers his lips to my ear, his chest against my back.

"Tell me." He says sternly, but not to harsh.

"No." I reply. I sound like a whinny child. I know I'm making him mad when he presses his hand harder against the door.

"Yes. Your going to tell me right now." He says through gritted teeth. His anger only making me more angry.

I turn around, leaning against the door, our faces only inches apart. His jaw is tighten in anger.

"Not everything that happens to me is your business." I say, lowering my voice the slightly. Realizing were outside, and not inside.

"The hell it is!" He yells, obviously not realizing what I just thought. "If one of those damn girls said something to you I swear I'll kick their as-"

"Gale!" I shout over him. "I just want you to leave my alone!"

The tears threaten to spill over again. He backs up just slightly and I open the door, dropping my game bag on the counter and retreating up stairs. One I'm in the bedroom, I release the tears that I've been holding in all day. Why am I crying? Gale has never acted like that towards me, and it hurt me. He's never been so persistent.

I strip off my hunting boots and slip under the covers in the bed. Somehow, someway I find sleep immediately. A little while later, I'm awoken by Gale telling me dinner is ready. I make no effort in joining him and slip back into sleep. Later I'm in that state of sleep but still awake when I feel Gale make his way under the covers, keeping his distance but slipping an arm over my waist. I let it be, although his touch and affection is the least thing I want, and that night I find myself having the same nightmare of him being blown to bits… just like our fathers

XX

"Wake up, hon."

I feel a pair of lips against my forehead and the words whispered against it. Morning already. I roll over on my back and open my eyes to find the mid morning light shinning in. I've slept longer then I normally do. Gale smiles at me while his arm is still around my waist. Sadly I'm still wearing my hunting clothes and I probably stink from the woods yesterday. Gale doesn't seem to mind though, he's acting like our fight yesterday never happened.

"I'm not going to apologize for being protective, but I will apologize for raising my voice at you." He says while running his thumb along my jaw. I guess he hasn't forgotten about it?

"It's ok." I say, barley audible.

He leans in and gives me a kiss, after a few seconds deepening it. But I pull away, not wanting more. He only sighs when I remove myself from the bed and into the small bathroom. I quickly wash, scrubbing extra hard for my absence from bathing last night. I pat myself try, deciding to pull on the same clothes. Today Prim's moving in, and Mr. Hawk is coming over.

I sigh as I make my way downstairs. Gale's making something for breakfast and someone is just knocking on the door. I yawn and make my way over to answer it, it could only be one excited teenager at this time of the morning.

Prim.

"Hey!" I say, opening the door wider for her to enter.

She gives me a quick hug, doing the same to Gale, and we both take a seat at the table while waiting for breakfast.

"So you excited, Little Duck?" I ask.

"Yes! But I'm going to miss mom." She says frowning.

"You'll still see her everyday, Primmy." I respond. I rustle the top of her hair but she quickly swats my hand away, I forget she's thirteen now, not a small child anymore.

"I know." She says.

Gale serves us a small breakfast of stale bread and jam he must have made from some of the berries. The three of us eat up. I stay out of the conversations that take place between Gale and her. Just as were finishing and clearing the plates were joined be Rory, Vick and Posy. Gale and I are cleaning the plates at the sink when Vick comes up next to me.

"Um, Mrs. Kat, I was wondering if, uh, maybe we could all have a sleep over here? I mean, if that's ok?" He says, avoiding eye contact.

Vick is the sweetest out of the four. He is _nothing _like Gale or Rory or Posy. He's the absolute spit image of his mother. Appearance and attitude.

"Vick, I told you to quite calling me 'Mrs.'." I say, more teasingly then being serious, although I have told him before.

I look over at Gale for an answer to his question. I don't mind, it sounds sort of fun, but I don't make decisions like that on my own. Something I learned about marriage quickly.

"Sure. We'll have a 'moving in party' for Prim." Says Gale winking.

"Awesome! Thank you." He says.

He goes back into the living room telling the others. Gale and I both laugh. Tonight should be fun, hopefully they won't embarrass us in front of Mr. Hawk.

The rest of the morning and afternoon, Prim and Rory load her belongs in a red, rusted wagon of Posy's while, Vick and her wheel it over to our house, letting Gale and I unload it into the guest bedroom. The room already has furniture, so it's only Prim's items we have to put away. It's not much, clothes, old toys, and so on. But the wagon is extremely small, and when you have two small children wheeling it across the seam, it takes much longer then you'd expect. After we take a small lunch break and a few more loads, Gale and I are sitting against the wall, waiting for another load of items from Vick and Posy. I feel Gale shift is gaze to me-

"Please don't be mad at me." He says. I sigh, knowing he's only be protective.

"I'm not." I honestly respond. A little disappointed? Yes.

"Alright, good." He scoots closer, our hips touching.

He kisses my cheek, slowly making a trail across my jaw and to my lips, kissing me deeply when the reach. We stay like that for a few seconds before he moves his hands onto my hips, pulling me onto his lap. My hands find his hair as we continue to kiss. His lips pressed against mine feels like a spark of electricity. A feeling of pleasure runs though me. I quickly find myself being pushed backwards, onto my back, Gale falling on top of me. Just as I moan there's a voice-

"Well, not in my room please!"

We pull our lips apart and I see Prim standing in the door way. Rory is laughing while Vick is shielding Posy's eyes, as well as his own, and Prim is holding in her own laugh. _I _almost laugh at the sight of the four of them.

"Sorry." I mumble as Gale makes his way off of me, helping me stand.

Just as I'm flattened on my feet, I notice Prim is holding Buttercup…

"No, Prim!" I say sternly. "There is now way I'm letting that filthily cat live in my house!"

"Please, Katniss?" She says, walking towards me, Buttercup hisses just on time. "He has no where else to go!" She pleas.

"I said no, Prim. He stays with mom." I say, sternly but in a low voice.

"I say the cat stays."

I look over next to me and that voice belonged to Gale. I scowl at him which only makes him grin. After more pleading and begging from both Prim _and_ Gale, I agree he can stay… under several conditions.

That load was the last of it, so we spend the next two hours shifting the furniture around the way she wants it, putting all her belongs into the two dressers and tacking a few pictures she's drawn onto the wall. The room definitely looks like it belongs to Prim. And it feels better, knowing the room isn't going to waste. We all take a break in the living room, sipping on some flavored water I make out of the berries and wishing the power would turn on for the TV. It seems to be coming back like it use to for a few hours less and less. Gale tells them about our dinner guest, but Hazel has dinner planned for Rory, Vick and Posy but Prim agrees to be on her best behavior.

The remaining afternoon goes by quickly and the boys and Posy head back for dinner, promising to return for the sleep over after their dinner and our guest as left. Prim retreats into her new bedroom to read and Gale and I start on dinner, skinning and deciding to try to slow cook the fox, we add in chopped rabbit and squirrel.

A few minutes later, there a knock on the door, just on time… five o'clock. I decide to open the door, considering he hasn't formally met Gale. He stands there, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He looks different for some reason, but I can't put my finger on it.

"Good evening!" He says, tipping his straw hat he's wearing. He looks happy.

I hadn't realized his southern accent until now. A lot of people sound like that here is twelve, my own mother included. Gale is really just shy of one himself.

"Hey! Come in." I say, moving to the side for him to enter.

He does and takes in the scenery around him, nodding his head and smiling.

"So this must be your lovely husband?" He asks as Gale turns around from the stove.

He defiantly seems different. _Completely _different from the 'crazy old man next door'. Gale shakes his out stretched hand. They don't say anything to each other, so I introduce them-

"Gale, this is Mr. Hawk. Mr. Hawk, Gale." I say. They both smile at each other and I call for Prim.

"Oh, so this must be your daughter?" He asks me, Gale laughs at his question and so does Prim.

"No, she's my sister, Prim." I say through a grin, it's pretty clearer we couldn't have a child of this age.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm over half way blind." He says with a sigh, shaking Prim's hand.

Prim and Mr. Hawk make small talk in the living room while Gale and I finish dinner. We set the table, all taking our seats, me and Gale on one side, across from him and Prim. He smiles when Prim sets a filled plate in front of him. I smile at his expression.

"I can't tell you the last time I had a nice meal like this." He says, looking at Gale and I. "Thank you." He adds.

I can't even believe he is the same guy, and by the way Gale is acting, he can't believe is either. We make small talk while eating until Gale asks him a certain question-

"So, tell us about your family?" Gale asks.

"My family." He says, more to himself then to Gale. After a few seconds he gives a hearty laugh. "Oh, my family. Their just a decent memory now."

"What happened?" Prim asks. I'm thankful for her question, I'm determined to know more about the world before Panem.

"To much stuff for your young mind to process, dear." He says, taking another bite of his food.

"What kind of stuff?" I ask, the words coming out before I can stop them. He stops chewing and looks sadden.

"I already told you, girlie." He says, not looking up from his plate.

I know I should quite asking him about it, he looks to be getting upset but I can't stop my tongue.

"But what caused all that stuff? The blood and death?" I ask, trying to keep my tone even and not to make him upset.

He leans back in his chair, wiping his mouth with his the rags we use as napkins and folding his hands in his lap. He takes a deep sigh and looks past us, not directly at us-

"Oh, it was so long ago. I'm not even sure I can remember it all. One minute I'm sitting behind a desk in New York and the next I'm standing on collapsed buildings, wandering the streets lost. With my family dead." He says, a lone tear falling down his cheek.

"New York?" Asks Prim. He gives another hearty laugh.

"Yes. It was a place that use to be a little above here."

"So what happened?" Gale asks, echoing my own question.

"A lot of stuff, oh, a lot of stuff." He says while moving his plate to one side, sitting up and folding his hands on the table now.

"But what kind of stuff?" I ask, repeating my earlier question. He takes another deep breath, starring at his hands.

"The Government. It was failing. The economy. It was failing. Thunder, tornados, earthquakes they all started to happen more. The President of the United Sates, the country before Panem, assassinated. No one knew who killed him, but the following week as his funeral, that was when the devil was dancing." He says, another tear falling down his cheek.

We all have quite eating, focusing on nothing more but this mans words.

"What do you mean?" Asks Gale. He gives yet another hearty laugh.

"Oh, my dear boy, evil. Evil broke loose on us. These men, they killed the nearly eight thousand people gathered for his funeral. Women, children. The own Presidents wife and four children. Oh, it was horrible, Oh, it was so horrible." He says, placing his head in his hands.

"So what happened afterwards?" I ask. He looks up to me.

"Those men, they created a war in our own backyard. The spread all over the country, there had to be millions of them, breaking into our own homes in the middle of night, murdering us in our own sleep. Taking us to these torture places they had set up, killing us in any gruesome way you can imagine. Oh, Oh, it was horrible!" he begins to cry. But I still have one unanswered question, and the thought of the answer makes my heart skip,

Who are these 'men'?. . . . . . . .

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**_Chapter 8 Preview: What else will this man have to say about the world before Panem? Secrets or Lies? What funny, mischievous things will happen at a 'Hawthorn Sleepover'? And what will happen when Gale gives Katniss little... surpise? _**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N - Hello dear ones! Chapter 8 is ready for you! Lot's of information concerning the finding of Panem, so I hope you like my take on how I thought it might have played out. There will be more talk about it in future chapters. I started, near the end, writing about the sleepover but it will take place in the next chapter(9) as well as Gale's 'surprise' for Katniss. **

**Catapapalilar x3- Thank you for your review, I don't mind criticism as long as it's friendly, and your's was! Okay.. as far as them always being mad, fighting ect. Me, _personally_, always thought that if they did ever get together as a couple that they would disagree often. Even Katniss said something like that about them in Catching Fire. My sister said that if Prim didn't get reaped that they would have gotten married, and I agree. But I always thought they would have marriage problems or often have disagreements and small arguments. Of course they love each other and are close, so when I write them that way its just how I feel personally how they would act once they were married. And as far as them yelling at each other one minute and kissing the next, It's because of that 'bond' they can't be mad at each other very long. _And_ the real big fight I'm planning hasn't even started between them yet, but that won't be for at least a few more chapters. If you want to talk about it, feel free to PM me!:) Occy3- Les Mis is ALL worth it ;) ;) **

**As far as any of my grammar and/or spelling mistakes, I have a dear reviewer of mine who is offering to help me in this area. So you should start seeing improvements very soon. I'm very sorry for them!**

**POLL: I have a poll up asking for you to pick some of your favorite boy names. I have a few characters that will be coming up that are male. So I want to know what names you like. You can find it on my profile page, I believe at the top. PLEASE vote, I want to know what you guys like! :)**

**Anywho, long A/N but thank you EVERYONE for all the kind and helpful reviews, I cherish each one of them! Chapter 9 will be up tomorrow sometime. Until then, enjoy Chapter 8 and reviews are always helpful! Hope everyone had a nice Mothers Day. Much love - Macayla (No chapter 9 preview this time)**

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The man is still weeping quietly and I'm unsure of what to do or say. I still have my one unanswered question, but should I ask? I think it would only upset him more. Gale clearers his throat before speaking-

"Were sorry. That we asked." He says quietly.

It's as though someone turned on a bright light inside of him. He lifts his head from his hands and looks to the three of us, his crying ceasing.

"It's ok." He replies, giving a hint of a smile under his beard. This man definitely has emotional problems.

As Gale and I begin to collect the dirty plates and clean the table and kitchen, Mr. Hawk starts telling Prim about this place that was once called 'New York'. He speaks nothing about the war, or his family so I tune the conversation out. Gale insist they go into the living room so we won't have to work around them.

"That was interesting, all what he said." Gale says in a hushed voice as were washing the dishes.

"Yeah, it was." I reply. Contemplating telling him of my question.

"I wonder who those… men would be?" He asks. To late, he read my mind, yet again.

"Me too!" I say back quickly. There's no missing the urgent tone in my voice.

I don't really have any clue as to why this question is bothering me this much. They've never told us about men attacking our country. Could this old man just be making it up? It wouldn't surprise me. I tell Gale this though-

"He could be making it up though? In his old age." I say, almost hoping he'll disagree.

"Maybe, but I doubt it." He says shrugging.

We quickly finish clearing the table and cleaning the dishes. Once were finished we join Prim and Mr. Hawk in the living room. Prim is sprawled out on the couch and Mr. Hawk is sitting comfortable in the arm chair.

"…. big, big, buildings. And a huge stature of a woman holding a book and a lighted torch… I think." He says as Gale and I take a seat on the opposite couch. He rubs his head in confusion. "Yeah, yeah. There was!" He says excitingly.

His face is completely lit up as he is talking about this place that once existed. He continues to go on about this place. I pull my legs onto the couch, resting my head in Gale's lap as I listen to the man. This place sounds fascinating to me. Nothing like here. I almost begin to doze off when Prim asks a question

"So what did you do?" She asks.

I open my closed eyes and see Mr. Hawks stoned expression. He gulps loudly before answering, and gives another hearty laugh. I think he does that when he's nervous.

"Well…" He stutters. "I worked in this big building… I.. loved the city… I didn't like my job very much, though." He says, avoiding more information. Prim squints her eyes.

"What was your job?" She asks in her most innocent voice. He gulps loudly again.

"I… I… It… was a complicated job. Nothing you'd understand." He says quickly.

I can hear the panic in his voice. Whatever he did, he doesn't want us knowing. It has to do with more then his family and painful memories. Prim nods her head in complete disappointment.

"Prim, will you go over and get my brothers and Pos for me? Help them pack what they need for the night." Gale says.

Prim nods her head in answer and says a goodbye to Mr. Hawk, walking out the door and leaving the three of us.

"Ah, it was a wonderful night, thank you, but I must be goi-"

"So what really was your job?" Gale asks, harshly.

He must be thinking the same thing I am, this man is hiding something. He looks almost shocked at Gale's change of emotions and tone. He gently sits me up in a sitting position beside him, sitting himself up straighter. Gale's not going to let him go until he answers.

"I said it already, it was a complicated job." He says defensively but still keeping a calm tone.

Gale just looks at him intently, demanding an answer. Mr. Hawk takes a deep breath, looking to the ground and rubbing his beard.

"You're not leaving until you tell me." Gale says sternly.

I'm almost shocked at Gale's words. It's not something you typically say to a guest. But this is Gale… he means it. I can almost see the man sweating behind his face full of hair. Gale is losing his patience I can tell. Gale goes to open his mouth but Mr. Hawk speaks first, blurting out the words-

"I worked for the President's assassins." He says, almost hanging his head in shame. He doesn't quit speaking though- "Those 'men' were a group of people against our own country. I made some poor choices kid." He says, tapping his foot on the floor nervously.

I'm amazed at his words and know there is still more, and thankfully he still keeps going.

"I was young and tired of living on my families farm.." He says, sounding yet again different from the crazed man I thought he was. "I moved to New York, not a dime in my damn pockets. I was seventeen and homeless in a city bigger then I thought it was. The people, they were mean. There was plenty of places to work, but I was under aged with a criminal history. There ain't no decent job there with my background. I was desperate, tired of living out of cardboard boxes and emptying bottles by the hour." He says, never meeting our eyes once.

Gale and I are leaning forward. My mind can't even think as I listen to this man-

"Now I was nineteen. I ain't lived in a home in nearly two years. The government was in complete distress, the President didn't even know what to do. A violent storm swept across New York, leaving that beautiful, sacred stature destroyed, destroying buildings as tall as the clouds. Shortly after the storm I was roam'n the streets when I came across a bar that looked closed in an ally way." He says.

I know what they are, but we don't have 'bars' here in twelve. Unless you count the crazy Saturday nights at Rippers alcohol stand at The Hob.

"I quickly realized that it was not empty. It was to late, I walked in and got… sucked in. It was a hate group, not more then twenty or thirty people in the room, dressed in black with white masks on. Oh they were scary, they scared the shit out of me. Especially when a few of them blocked the exit." He takes a deep breath. "They promised me, either immediate death or my safety if I'd agree to help them."

"Why would they kill you?" Gale asks.

"Because I saw them. They thought I'd tell the authorities and I would have. They told me of this plot… this plot to take over the country of America. And that there was more then just them." He says, nodding his head.

I feel like a little child, listening to a story. My mind still can't even think but only listen.

"They wanted to kill every American that walked the land. They promised my safety, and my future families safety if I'd agree to work for them. They'd get me a job, So I agreed." He leans in closer. "That was the worst damn decision of my damn life!" He shouts.

I feel Gale tense up just slightly beside me.

"But they did…" Mr. Hawk continues, bringing his voice back down. "They tracked my every move. Long story short kid, after some time they got me a job as the mayor of New York's V.P. of security. How the hell they managed that for me, I don't have a damn clue. My job was to report anything and everything about the government that I could. Being head of security, I knew every which way into the head quarters and so on. Some time passed…." He says, waving his hand. "when I fell in love. I married, knowing they said they guaranteed her safety. Three months later we were going to have a kid, twins." He says. "But they betrayed me! When they finally took out their plan… they didn't keep my family safe, they didn't keep me safe. After years of helping them they didn't keep their damn promise. And it's all my fault… it's my fault my families dead! He says shouting.

I'm almost speechless at his story and words. So these 'men' were nothing more then of their own country? Against their own kind?

"So how many did they kill?" Gale asks. I'm scared for the answer.

"Ever. Damn. One of us. Only a few hundred were left." He says, shaking his head.

"What made them stop?" I ask. He takes a deep breath before answering.

"The people that were left. They started to try to fight them. By this time…" He says, leaning back into the chair. "… they were on very little ammunition and all the crap they used to kill us. So they retreated." He says, avoiding eye contact

"To where?" Gale asks.

Mr. Hawk's gives yet another hearty laugh, his eyes widen as he's staring at the floor.

"They moved north, to Canada." He says.

I have never heard of this place so I let him continue-

"The people there already evacuated, leaving most of the small country abandoned. So they settled there, and renamed that land…"

He sits up straighter, finally meeting both Gale and I's intense gaze's. His words next words nearly knock the wind out of me, for a few seconds I can't breathe, I can't do anything but be shocked, stunned-

"Airgusta."

I hear Gale take a short, sharp breath in. These men are attacking us again. And if they succeed like their previous plain, were all be dead. I take a deep breath, looking away from the cold gaze he's both giving us.

"So how did Panem come out of all that?" Gale asks. I find myself covering my mouth with my hand, still in shocked.

"Well, we were left with noth'n. The vast land was completely destroyed, noth'n remained. You could hear babies crying in the distance. All the building's were flattened, the land was completely flat. You could see for miles and miles with your own eyes. There wasn't any power, water. No food. We were wounded, hungry and cold. Days passed and more died, peeled over from infection and starvation. We started a mass grave. And we waited… waited for _hope_." He says, another tear spilling down his cheek.

"So how did it come?" Gale asks in a calm voice. Mr. Hawk looks up from his hands and at Gale.

"We waited for something. For _someone_. So a young boy stood up, took a stand. Started pep talked us. Said this isn't how we should all die. We were _Americans_. So we set out, our group was a bit under a hundred, but we set out, finding more survivors. Started leaning the ways of nature for food and medicine."

Just like Gale and I do now, I think to myself.

"By the end of a long, long journey, we had gathered every living soul left on that land. We were left with at least three hundred, maybe four. So that same young boy stood up still, leading us to a new beginning. A new _hope_. We were in the land of Colorado, this is where we set up our own colony. We lived off the land again, breeding like wild fire. That boy we called the President… the President of our new country, Panem."

"Snow?" I ask. Speaking of our own, elderly, cruel President. He's been the only President Panem has known.

"Yes, Coriolanus Snow. He was a young fella, no older them myself. When we started to grow in number, he decided we needed to fill the land again, that's when he drew a map, sectioning it off into thirteen 'Districts' and he named the place we were in, the 'Capitol'. So people started going out, to their own designated 'District'. It would take them days, weeks even months to get to their place, but when they all did they realized the land wasn't the same. But they learned, with the new land, to strive off of it. Using what they could from their surroundings."

That would explain why each District has a particular 'duty' for the Capitol. I lean forward, placing my elbows on my knees. This isn't the stuff they teach us in school.

"So long story short kids. He turned somewhat evil, we started to thrive in the 'Capitol', building up the buildings, getting power back to us, building roads and cars, setting up our own form of government and law enforcement. But he left the rest of the land untouched. It wasn't until President Snow demanded each District to offer up some of their own hard earned tasks that he became a changed man. Over the next years we strived more, building our population from hundred to thousands, tens of thousands. Those hard working men and women in the Districts worked day and night to please us in the Capitol."

Gale and I are practically, no, literally sitting on the edge of the couch, not daring to interrupt him. There's a lot their not teaching us in school… I wonder why?

"So they got tired, tired of us boss'n them around. So they rebelled. They failed though, losing a District in the process. That my children, is how the Hunger Games started." He says, nodding is head.

I'm at a loose for words. What are you supposed to say after being told of something like that? I can literally feel my heart in the stomach. I have more unanswered questions now.

"So who really are you?" I ask, remembering he said '…just call me Mr. Hawk'.

He takes a long ridged breath in before he answers. He doesn't answer right away, he looks to the floor as though he's deciding to tell us or not. He finally looks up to us, into my eyes and answers just as the front door opens with the kids-

"I'm Platon Snow."

XX

Shocked? Stunned? Speechless? Unable to breath? I'm all of these. As if the previous news wasn't a shock enough, I just learned that a relative of our own cruel, evil President is sitting in my living room.

"Mr. Hawk! Your still here!" Says Prim excitingly. Rory, Vick and Posy are at the table, dropping their overnight bags onto it.

"Oh, I was just leaving sweetheart." He says as he grabs his cane from the side of the chair and slowly rises from his seat.

It takes him several seconds for him to even find his footing, of course Prim comes over and helps him. 'Only if you knew who he was Prim', I think to myself. But just because he's related to someone evil, doesn't mean he's evil. Gale and I stand in unison and I wipe the sweat off my hands on my pants. Prim helps him to the door, the two of us walking behind. Gale's siblings are still at the table, taking items out from their bags, not even paying attention to the guest we have leaving. Mr. Hawk… doesn't say anything to them so I don't introduce them and neither does Gale. Prim opens the front door, the last bit of the dusk sunshine hitting the two of them, and moves to the side, allowing him to see Gale and I.

"Thank you for the lovely dinner. Were talk about it more soon." He says, then he's out the door.

Prim shuts the door the turns toward us.

"What's wrong?" She asks, taking a few steps closer to me and Gale.

I hadn't realized it, but Gale is holding my hand and I must have a shocked expression on my face.

"Nothing." Gale answers cheery.

Prim wasn't necessarily talking to him but she accepts the answer and joins the boys and Posy at the table. I look over to Gale and he slips both of his arms around my waist, bringing his lips to my ear-

"Don't let what he said bother you tonight, aright? Let's just have fun." Gale whispers. I nod my head in reply.

Just as Gale is bringing his lips to mine there's a bloody murder scream from behind us, Gale and I both pull apart in panic and I turn around. I start laughing immediately… Rory has Vick pinned to the ground. Rory has a smirk but Vick is full out laughing. I look over to the table to see Posy pulling out something from her bag.

"What you got there Pos?" Gale asks, wrapping his arms around my waist again, his chest touching my back.

She runs up to us, practically bumping into me and she's holding two glass jars with dirt in them. Their clutched to her like someone might take them. But when I hold out my hand, she willingly gives me one of the jars.

"Dirt?" I ask, tying to hide my laugh.

"No!" She says defensively

She takes it back, setting the other jar gently on the ground. She takes the jar I gave back and gently, just slightly shakes it, moving the dirt around. She gasps when she stops shifting the dirt.

"There there are!" She shouts.

She holds out the jar to me and I pull it up to my face to look inside. Low and behold there's three, good sized lizards starring back at me. I start laughing and so does Gale.

"So what's in the other one, Princess?" He asks.

She picks it up, shifting the dirt around again. She sticks her tongue out on the side of her mouth, concentrating with finding the animal inside. She gasps again when she finds it-

"A frog!" She says, holding it up for Gale to see. He just nods his head and chuckles in reply.

I hang the jar in my hand back to Posy, but when I do her little fingers slip around it, making the glass jar shatter on the floor, sending the three lizards scurrying off into the house. I can't help but laugh at the scene that's taking place: Vick screams yet again and yanks Rory off of him, joining Prim with standing on the chairs at the table. Then there's Rory that's cracking up laughing on the ground. And then finally you have Posy who's running in their direction, screaming too. The house is filled with laughter and screaming. Gale leans his head forward and brings his lips to my ears again-

"I think were in for it tonight!". . . . . . . . . . . .

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***Don't forget to vote on the poll!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N - Hello all! I am S-O sorry I was unable to get this chapter up like I said! But it's here! Chapter 9 is ready! This chapter is just sort of a fun one, a bit of fluff! LOTS of Gale and Katniss in this one, I wrote this chapter especially for you, Josh.Y95, you wanted some 'romance' you got it! ;) I was really unsure about writing those scenes, now knowing if everyone cares for them? I know some people don't like reading that sort of stuff which is completely understandable! The poll will be up only a little while longer, get your votes in if you haven't!**

**Firework7- Thank you for your comment! Catapapalilar x3- Thank's! And I'm glad you understand it now. Again, feel free to PM me if you want to talk about it more!:)**

**Well, I hope you guys like Chapter 9. Like I said, it's really nothing but 'Fluff & Fun' to be honest! I thought a light hearted chapter was needed at this point in the story. _LOTS_ of drama coming in the next chapters. Now, Chapter 10 WILL NOT be up until Saturday. I 'm sorry for the few days in between but I'm just going to be super busy. It WILL be up Saturday though, check the FB page for any changes or updates. Sorry again! But enjoy this chapter. THANK YOU for all the support I have been getting. Oh! I barely had time to check grammar/spelling with this chapter so PLEASE forgive any mistakes. Much, much love - Macayla (No Chapter 10 preview)**

***** High dose of sensuality in this chapter. Feel free to skip if wanted. *****

* * *

Just as I thought the scene couldn't get more chaotic, Buttercup darts out of Prim's bedroom, chasing after the lizards and making Posy fall to the ground in a loud thump. Posy doesn't let the fall stop her though, she springs back up, running after the lizards and the cat.

One of the conditions was that Buttercup had to stay outside or in Prim's room if I was home, but he sneaked his way out obviously.

"Buttercup no!" Shouts Prim while still standing on the chair.

I start laughing even harder and so does Gale. But then I quickly realize what Buttercup will do if and when he gets them. I run into the living room where Posy ran into. Buttercup must have lost them though, their both standing in the middle of the room.

"Kat Kat we have to find them!" She shouts with a panicked voice.

"We'll find them Pos." I say back soothingly while pulling her blond hair out from her face. She swats my hand away.

"No, now!" She shouts.

The six of us spend the next ten minutes tarring the house apart looking for those three damn lizards. But after the ten minutes, we fall onto the couch tired. Posy's sitting in the arm chair when she starts crying and Gale runs up, kneeling on the ground.

"Shh, it's ok Princess. I'm sure their pop up somewhere. Ok?" He asks.

"Yeah, in Buttercups stomach!" Rory says in a hushed voice while laughing. But he wasn't quiet and Posy starts crying harder.

I thought tonight was supposed to be fun, I think to myself.

"Rory! That's enough!" Shouts Gale.

Posy starts mumbling words through her sobs but I can't make out any more words then 'but', 'if' and 'dead'.

"Pos, I'll check upstairs. We haven't checked there." Vick says.

He looks to me as though asking permission to go into Gale and I's bedroom and I nod my head yes in reply. Him, Rory and Prim take off up the creaky stairs. Posy's cries doesn't cease though and Gale keeps speaking soothing words to her. Finally I can't to the scene any longer. I quickly walk across the room, stepping past Gale and sweeping Posy into my arms, taking a seat on the chair and placing her in my lap. Gale places his hands on my knees as I try my attempt now with her-

"Posy, it's ok. It will be alright." I say while taking both my hands and pulling her long, blonde hair down her back.

"But…but…but.." She says in between sobs. "what… what if their dead?" She says.

"And if they are, it will all be alright." I move my hand under her chin, forcing her to look at me. "All good things come to an end." I say soothingly, Remembering the first time my father had taken me hunting and I was crying about the animals he was killing.

"Sometimes?" She asks, holding out hope.

"No. _All _good things must have an end, Posy. Happy moments, fun times and even animals." I say calmly. "But there's still hope Posy."

She stops crying but her face is covered in snot and is beet red. Gale see's this and runs to the kitchen, bringing me back a damp rag. After I clean her face she runs up the stairs, joining her brothers and Prim in the search. Gale shakes his head once she's out of sight and I manage a small laugh. I've never seen Posy get so emotional over animals. I'll never forget the time I stayed at Gale's house after hunting last year and watched as a three year old Posy was helping Gale skin a rabbit, laughing when Gale chopped the head off. But she's different now. She'll be five in a few weeks and starts school very soon.

Gale sits in my lap, taking the place of Posy. I huff when he releases his body weight on me. Gale is much bigger then my tiny, skinny stature.

"What can mama do for you?" I ask teasingly. It only makes him laugh.

"Give your baby a little sugar." He says while batting his eyelashes, making me laugh.

"I'm out of stock right now, but come back later." I say with a wink. Words I never thought would come from my own mouth.

We both laugh it off and embrace the quiet moment together. After several minutes I find myself dozing off when Rory, Vick, Prim and Posy join us in the living room. They had no luck, which results in a sadden Posy. They insist on playing a board game they brought over. I recognize it immediately… chess. Gale tried teaching me once but it only resulted in me yelling at him and calling him a 'nimrod'. The Hawthorn brothers are a pro at it. We light candles throughout the now darkened house and Vick starts to set the game up on the living room floor, so I decide to spend some time with Posy while making tea for everyone. I take her by the hand and into the kitchen, setting her on the counter as I retrieve some berries, herbs and a small pot.

"So what have you been up to lately, Princess?" I ask, picking up on the nickname Gale calls her. She rubs her eyes sleepily.

"Noth'n." She replies, in a hushed voice. I light the small fire in the burner.

"Nothing?" I ask.

"Nothing is something." She says through a yawn. Obviously picking up that answer from somewhere.

I try to rack my brain of cheery things to talk to Posy about, changing her sad mood. But her next words throw me slightly off guard-

"Does Gale Gale's still love me?" She asks in her most innocent voice.

I stop immediately from doing my task of mashing the berries and meet her teary eyes.

"Posy, of course he does. Why wouldn't you think so?" I ask.

"Because he never plays with me anymore." She replies in her high pitched toddler voice, rubbing her eyes again.

"He's just been really busy. But I know he loves you." I reply, telling her the honest truth. There's nothing Gale loves more then his family.

She takes this answer for now and removes her hands from her face, showing me a hint of a smile.

"So how's your kingdom going?" I ask, remembering the conversation she had with Gale and I last week and continuing my task of making the flavored tea.

She goes on for the next five minutes of her 'kingdom'. It's amazing the imagination of a four year old. I try to remember if I ever had a creative imagination, but I can't remember. Prim did, I remember hers. There's still days that she does, but I keep forgetting she's a teenager now, not a child.

Just as I'm pouring the tea from the open top pot into the mugs, I'm violently thrown to the ground, landing flat on my back and spilling all the hot tea all over me… and Rory. A pain shoots through my lower back and abdomen, including the pain from the hot tea.. I tilt my head to the side and see Rory laying next to me, laughing his head off.

"And what was that for?" I ask angrily, with a hint of teasing.

"I'm practicing for the wrestling team!" He says, pausing his laughter only to resume it.

"He's going to join the team Monday." Gale says from behind me, helping me up.

He pulls me up from under my arms and I grunt as another wave of pain courses through the same spots, mostly in my back this time.

"Way to go Rory." Says Prim as she enters the kitchen.

"I'm sorry." Rory says while standing up.

Gale and Prim help me stand completely. The pain subsides but I'm extremely sore now.

"Thanks." I say, looking at Gale and Prim.

I make my way up the stairs to change my clothes. My shirt got most of the tea so I should only have to change that.

Rory on the wrestling team? I could actually see it. Him and Gale are always wrestling, especially with each other. I wonder why Gale never joined the team? I shrug the question off as I walk across the bedroom to where my dresser sits. I pull out a blue tank top, setting it on the top of the dresser. Just as I place my hands at the hem of my shirt, I feel a pair of hands on my hips.

Gale.

I take deep breath. Now is not the time to be doing anything with our siblings roaming around downstairs, give it a minute tops and their be wondering where we went. He kisses the side of my neck, and begins to make trails down it until he reaches my shirt. He doesn't say anything and nether do I. He'll be 'in the mood' when we get walked in on.

"Gale?" I say.

He takes his hands that are on my hips and swings me around until I'm facing him. Lust. That's what is written in his eyes, and the way his hands are squeezing my hips.

"Vick and Posy are reading outside and Rory is teaching Prim chess." He says breathless.

He doesn't give me time to answer before his lips crash back onto mine. He quickly deepens it as his hands find the hem of my shirt, moving my hands aside. He kisses me for a few more seconds, making soft moans escape the both of us, his hands start to move, removing the shirt from me. We pull apart so Gale can get it over my head. For some reason, the thought that we could get caught only drives myself crazier, and judging by the way he is acting and the lust in his eyes, it's doing the same to him. As soon as my top is fully off and on the ground his lips meet mine yet again, but only briefly. He kisses my jaw, he skips my neck but goes straight to my chest. I have a bra on so he skips my breasts, too and starts kissing my stomach. Most of the tea landed around this area on my shirt and seeped through to my skin.

He stops kissing, squats down and begins to lick the tea off of my skin. I shutter for a second, we've never done something like this to each other, licking food/liquid off of each other. He goes slow, as though he's making sure I like it. I'm pretty sure the moan that he gets out of me confirms it to the both of us. _Never _in a million years did I think I'd be doing something like this, but I wouldn't go back. I realized that being intimate isn't something you do with just anyone, you do it with someone you _love_, you're _in love_ with.

While he's licking the tea from my stomach and navel area, he reaches his hands behind me, grabbing my butt with both hands. We both moan in unison.

"Now your clean." He says through a grin.

He stands back up, dragging his hands up to the small of my back. The lust and desire is even more evident now, and I'm sure mine is to him too. He looks into my eyes, then moves his eyes down to my breast. I still have my bra on but it's slightly to small for me, pressing my boobs against my chest and showing a large amount of cleavage. He's seen them multiple times this past month so I grin at his deadpan face. He crashes his lips back into mine, he picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. He walks over to the bed while we kiss each other frantically. As Gale is laying me on the bed, it's the first time we've done this without saying much to each other, only our moans to answer our unvoiced questions.

He spreads my legs slightly, sitting on his knees in between them. He looks up at me and I smile, hoping now that he'll just do it to me already. The chills are all present and I know I must be wet. He returns my smile and then begins working my jeans off of me, throwing them on the floor. My underwear join them. He doesn't waste any time (which I'm not complaining) and shimmies both of his bottoms off, joining mine on the floor. He still doesn't waste anymore time and takes my legs, placing them on his shoulders, he lines himself up with me and pushes in, making us both moan loudly. He leans down and kisses me before he starts to find a rhythm. The position is new, something we've only tried twice before, but we both like it. It doesn't help my soreness though, but the pleasure wins out in the end. Our moans are filling the room, mine muffled by Gale's hand over my mouth. After a good minute or two we come in unison. Thank God Gale's hand was over my mouth, I think to myself. He collapses on top of me, the both of us breathless and sweaty. He removes his hand from my mouth and kisses me tenderly. When we pull apart we look at each other and start laughing. We get up from the bed and we both pull on completely new clothes. Making ourselves somewhat presentable.

"Thanks for that." He says to me as were both buttoning our pants.

"Why do you always say thanks?" I ask causally. It's the truth, there's never been a time after our love making that he hasn't told me that.

"Because, I want you to know how much I appreciate you." He replies smiling. I walk over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I'm lucky you know?" I comment. Knowing that we both have our share of problems, but our love is not one of them.

"Were both lucky." He says.

We exchange a quick kiss and head downstairs. Our home looks abandoned but we know its not. We both walk over to the small doorway into the living room to see Rory and Prim by themselves playing chess. I lean on the door frame and Gale wraps one of his arms around me.

"I'm seeing sparks!" He says in my ear. I start laughing, trying to be quiet.

"Their just friends like you and I were." I reply, smiling at the sight of my giggling sister.

"Were." Gale repeats.

I laugh it off and do does Gale. I smile again at the sight of Prim. After fathers death she would never smile, only for me. She had a hard time making friends and be sociable to other kids after his passing. I spent all the time I could with her, playing with her, cheering her up. After a bit she started to become like the girl she is today. Now I watch as she turns from a girl into a woman. She's stronger and braver then any thirteen year old girl should be, but I respect her for her knowledge. For her willingness to help mother when she's chopping off someone's leg and the floor is flooded with blood.

Prim looks up and spots Gale and I in the doorway. Rory turns around, matching the grin forming on Prim's face.

"If you two are always going to be that loud, I'm moving out!" She says through a grin. Rory starts laughing.

I know I must be turning red because even Prim starts laughing now… and so does Gale. He never lets this stuff bother him, he never gets embarrassed. I on the other hand am not that way. Prim must see this because she gets up, walking towards me.

"I'm just messing with you Kat." She says, still grinning though.

I scowl at her and make my way into the kitchen. The tea from the floor is all mopped up but sadly we don't have anymore ingredients to make more. I sigh and call Vick and Posy in from the porch, the chilly September air won't do them any good.

We grab the deck of cards that Vick brought and sit down in the living room, Gale starting a fire in the fireplace. We start our game once Gale is done and that's when the real fun starts. After playing four rounds of 'Go Fish' Prim wins _every _single round. Rory stands up-

"She's cheating!" He yells, more in a teasing way then actually being serious.

"I am not!" She yells back laughing.

"Oh, oh really? Then why you laughing?" He asks. He looks to be on the edge of laughing himself.

Prim stutters which make the rest of us laugh.

"You're crazy Hawthorn!" She replies, standing and crossing her arms.

He opens his mouth to speak but instead he tackles her to the ground-

"Rory!" She shouts… laughing.

Were all a choir of laughing idiots as we watch Prim and Rory wrestle. Prim is _acutely _fighting back. Gale, who is sitting next to me on the floor, nudges my shoulder and brings his lips to my ear-

"Sparks!" He says again, I roll my eyes at him. The thought of Prim with a boy only makes me shutter.

Posy screams in pure delight and throws herself on top of Prim and Rory. And for the first time, I see Vick open up a bit, throwing himself in the mix too. Gale leans back in to me, but there's no need to whisper, the laughs of the wrestling group before us overshadows his voice-

"Five years later and you finally get to see the real Vick." He says through a grin. I return it and Gale wraps an arm around my shoulders.

Vick's always been the preserved one. You can always count on him reading a book or studying for a test (that I'm sure he already knows) then engaging in any activities.

I lean my head on Gale's shoulder as I take in the scene before me. I can't help but to think is this how Gale and I would look if it was our children doing that instead of our siblings? Would we be a cute little family? I quickly, and _very, very _quickly thrust just thought of it out of my mind. I'm never having children, I don't want them. I'd be a horrible mother, just like my own.

The wrestling carries on surprisingly for a few minutes before Gale and I pipe up, telling them someone is going to get hurt. That's the one thing I _don't _like about wrestling, it reminds me of the violence that takes place every year in the cruel Hunger Games.

After we tare them apart, we take to roasting some chest nuts in the fire. They grow in large amounts in the woods so were always stocked with them. As were roasting them we find ourselves laughing all over again, telling funny jokes and even stories about ourselves. Like the time I brought Prim with me to the woods and she thought she stepped on a snake and fell into the lake we were by. Gale recounts the time Rory pulled down his pants in the middle of school assembly last year… in front of a bunch of girls. I recall the time Posy got herself stuck on the roof of their house a few months ago (how that happened, I don't know!).

I laugh as we continue to tell our funny stories. I never thought I'd be able to laugh, to be happy after my fathers death. I guess I thought I would raise Prim since my mother didn't, then once she was grown, settle into my own private life. Away from society so I could continue to mourn my father. But so far, _nothing _has gone as I planned it.

We finish our chest nuts and stories and play a few more rounds of Go Fish, laughing and scolding Posy when she says , "Damn it!" after dropping her cards. Of course the night doesn't go by without the newscaster coming on the TV announcing more threats from Airgusta. It fears me more knowing what the old man next door said but I don't make any comments, not wanting to scare the others, I only exchange a quick look at Gale.

It's well after midnight, maybe even one in the morning when we decide it's bedtime. We all quickly change into our pajamas. We didn't really have an idea about where everyone would sleep, we take up Rory's idea of having a sleep out in the living room. The floor is made of wood but we decide to anyways, grabbing every single blanket and pillows in the house. We sprawl them out on the floor, making it as comfortable as possible. After blowing out the candles in the other room's, we all lay down in a line. Prim and Rory taking the far side, which of course Gale and I quiet our laughs. Vick and Posy take the middle, leaving Gale and I on the edge. Were all sandwiched together, using all the space the small living room has to offer. I have my back turned toward Gale as Posy scoots toward me more, shoving her back against my chest. I protectively wrap an arm around her, basking in the warmth from the two bodies cuddled next to me.

I fall sleep with the feeling of Gale rubbing the small of my back and Posy's snoring (which I haven't missed). . . . . . .


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N - I am VERY sorry I had to extend the delay a day later, I was planning on finishing this chapter Friday night before bed but I didn't get home until 1AM from a graduation. But I _just _finished it for you and here it is! There's not to much action or much, just their lazy sunday. But that part in here about Aigusta is sort of important, it will help set a scene in a later chapter. **

**Occy3- You read my mind.. AGAIN! Yes... you will see some more Peeta soon, but that's all I can say *evil laugh. trio-of-friends- Thank you for your kind review! And thank you Firework7, Catapapalilar x3 and Lucy Rocks for reviewing Chapter 9 for me! Much love to each and every one of you!**

**Chapter 11 WILL be up tomorrow(Monday) in the later evening my time. It will be PACKED with drama so you'll definitely want to stick around! Also, but with my busy schedule I will be having to update every other day rather then every day. I'm so sorry again but I have to fit writing into my schedule. Hopefully you'll understand. Again though, there WILL be an update tomorrow(Monday) but then the next will be Wednesday. Thank's for everyone who voted in the poll, if you haven't GO, it will be up until Wednesday. Anyway, Enjoy Chapter 10 for now and much love - Macayla**

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I'm woke by the late morning light peering in through my closed eyelids and a warm, pleasurable sensation. It takes me a few seconds to realize it but when I do, my eyes fly open. Gale has his hand between my legs..

I'm going to kill him.

"Gale!" I say shockingly, is a hush but harsh tone. I still have my back turns toward him, so I lean over some. His face is wide awake and he has a grin plastered across it.

"I thought I'd give you a little wake up." He says seductively.

I'm pissed at him. He's never done this to me without my knowing. But he's crazy to try this stunt with our siblings sleeping beside us. I carefully undo my arm that is still around a snoring Posy, being careful not to wake her and I quietly turn over toward Gale. Just as I do though, the old wooden floor creaks. Gale looks over my shoulder to see if they are all sleeping, and they must are. He looks back at me with that damn grin still. I lower my voice with my next words-

"Gale are your crazy? Doing that with your own sister curled up against me! Your such an as-"

"Calm down, Katniss. I'm sorry, ok?" He says, pleading me to stop talking.

I open my mouth to speak (what I don't know) but his lips crash into mine before the words escape. He takes advantage of my open mouth too. The kiss doesn't surprise me though. There's never a morning if were both waking together that he doesn't kiss me. I of course then, kiss back. He breaks it off quickly and smiles at me. I return it even though I'm still upset with him.

I turn and lay on my back. Just as I'm about to close my eyes I realize that he actually quite late. Not to late, but much later then the usual time Gale and I get up in the morning. Judging by the sunlight coming through the window, I guess it's about nine in the morning. I'm just finally closing my eyes again when-

"Wake up!" Gale screams at the top of his lungs.

Prim, Rory and Vick spring up from under their covers, wide eyed and crazy morning hair. Gale laughs at the site of them.

"God Gale! Do you have to be so loud?" I comment, a little to harshly then I meant. I roll my eyes though, too.

"PMS?" He asks.

His question makes me want to slap him. But he's right. I'm due which would explain my actions this morning. It would be the first time I've gotten my period since Gale and I have been married, so I guess he better be getting use to it. I nod my head in reply.

"Come on Pos, wake up." I say through a yawn and nudging her shoulder. Her snoring doesn't even waver though.

After several more attempts I finally wake her. She's a bit confused at first, forgetting she spent the night with us, making the five of us laugh at her confused face and wide seam eyes. The rest of them, including Gale, begin to pick up the blankets and pillows but I find myself unmoving. I'm _beyond _exhausted. I don't really know why though. I've been to bed later and raised earlier. I blame it on the period. I still lay there until someone yanks the sheets off of me. It's doesn't faze me though, I was a bit warm anyway. But then I'm forced to wake when someone now yanks the bottom blanket I was laying on, flipping me onto my stomach in a loud thump against the hard, wooden floor.

"Ow!" I say. By the laugh that follows I know it's Rory.

"Rory, leave her alone." I hear Gale call from the kitchen. I'm thankful for his comment, Rory skips off toward the kitchen. Maybe I'm not so upset with him after all?

Once I finally wake (another thirty minutes later), we eat a small breakfast before Gale suggests they pack their stuff. Expect for Prim of course, her permeate home is with us now.

"Eger to get rid of them, huh?" I say once they've left the table, while taking a bite of my breakfast of stale bread and jam from the wild berries.

"No, I want to see my mom. Thought we could just let them drop their stuff off while were there." He replies, shrugging while eating his breakfast too.

I ask what he has plan today, since I always let him make the weekend plans. We need to go hunting, but he doesn't seem to concerned about our dwindling food supply yet. He suggest a hike up one of the easy mountain slopes in the woods. I would agree if I _still _wasn't so exhausted and we didn't have a four year old to take along. We both agree though with a walk in town and a visit to Thom's house. I actually like visiting Thom. Gale like's to go often and I don't mind, I like his family. His father died in the same mining accident as ours, but her mother quickly remarried and had two more children. Adding to her three already. The kids are alright. There's nineteen year old Thom of course, eleven year old twins Theo and Simon. Then three year old Sophie and of course, now one year old Alec. I don't mind any of them, especially the twins.

Gale and I finish our breakfast and quickly change. I exchange my night clothes for worn out jeans and a long sleeve green top. Pulling on my winter jacket instead of my hunting one. The temperature is climbing lower and lower as December (always our coldest month) slowly makes it's way to us. I braid my hair and pull on the same hunting boots as always. I ignore Gale's stares as I change.

Once were all ready and Rory, Vick and Posy have packed their belongings we head off down the seam road, making our way to Hazels home. I notice the smoke coming from the chimney signaling she's obviously home. Rory bust the door open and Posy and Vick run in.

"Mommy!" I hear Posy squeal as Gale and I enter.

This house is never the same to me. Why? I assume it's different now realizing this is the place I fell in love with Gale. I finally broke any barriers I had against marriage and love. The place I decided I needed to move on from my fathers death and begin a new life, a new start.

"Good morning dear, how are you?" Says Hazel as she embraces me with a hug. Scooting Posy over more on her hip.

"Good." I reply, returning the hug. I don't like hugs from everybody, but she's one of the few I don't mind. She is my mother in-law.

She and Gale embrace the same as she escorts us into the living room. Rory takes a ridiculous close seat to me on the couch, I roll my eyes at him. Gale taking up my other side.

"Were the kids good?" She asks the two of us while continuing her knitting.

"Perfect." I reply before Gale.

After a few minutes of causal conversation, she suggest Vick shows the others his science project he's working on. I remember him telling us last night about it. He's making some model of the solar system using trash he's found. Making models for our school projects is rare, not for the town folks of twelve of course. Therefore children of the seam tend to get lower grades in that area. How ironic? I can't argue, I'm proud of Vick.

As soon as they enter his room she slams her knitting onto the arm of the chair she was sitting in. I can tell by her actions she has something to tell us. She quickly gets up from her chair and takes Rory's seat next to me on the couch.

"What's wrong mom?" Gale asks, looking over me. She takes a deep breath.

"More threats. From Airgusta." She says, a hint of panic in her voice.

This is Hazel Hawthorn. She's one I've always considered a strong woman, and she is. So what ever these 'new threats' are, they must be bigger then the previous ones.

"Their always making them mom." Replies Gale. But I'm with Hazel who's shaking her head, I disagree with him.

"No Gale. Last night they bombed District two, taking out half the military base." She says, leaning in to us, whispering the words.

I'm not surprised, but I'm numb. Without our military we don't really stand a chance much. Were weak against them. This scares me considering Gale and I know who they _really _are. Not just some other country that formed after the war, but the former mass murders themselves. Hazel doesn't know this though.

"How do you know?" Gale asks. It wasn't on TV.

"Because a Peacekeeper came here a bit ago. He told me." She says.

I'm about to check and see if maybe she's been having a little to much to drink but I remember seeing several groups of Peacekeepers traveling down the seam road. They were at someone's house. Gale and I didn't think much about it though. I still ask my question though-

"Are you sure it's not a rumor?" I ask, knowing how things from the Capitol can spread like wildfire.

Like currently it's rumored that the quarter quill coming up for the seventy fifth games is going to be past victors. You Can't trust any Capitol rumors though.

"I know it's not, dear." She says, calmly.

"Well, there's nothing we can do about it." Gale says in return. I find his words a bit harsh considering his mother is obviously worried.

"It will be ok, Mrs. Hazel." I say soothingly. Usually it's Gale saying these words and me with the rude, witty come backs.

I'm glad we both silently agree not to tell her about what our neighbor said. That would only worry her more. But I'm a bit upset (again) with Gale for his comment.

"I know, Sweetheart. I know. Perhaps I'm still overreacting a tad." She replies. I nod my head in answer.

After a bit of more causal conversation the boys and Prim and Posy join us again in the living room. Vick insist we see it too. Gale and I follow him into his bedroom to see his project. It's amazing for something made entirely of old wrappers, broken glass, rocks, mud and even left over bones from animals. I chill runs through me, some of them are probably human, died of starvation, it wouldn't surprise me here in twelve. I tell her good job, which he deserves and he invites us to come to the science fair in January. Of course, it's twelve, it's nothing fancy, but I agree were both make it since it's on a weekend.

We decide to leave into town for our walk and hopefully to grab some lunch at the Hob. We invite Hazel but she declines, saying she has laundry to catch up on. Gale sets Posy on his shoulders and we head out toward the town and the Hob. After a few mines of walking and giggling as Rory, Vick and Prim try to walk without stepping on rock's only to fail, we finally enter the town. There's a slur of Peacekeepers. Great, this will help our hunting I think to myself. By the look Gale is giving me, he's thinking the same thing. Remembering a few months ago what it was like.

"Hey Dare Dare's!" Screams Posy from Gale's shoulder. Using the nickname she has for Darius, one of the Peacekeepers.

He standing with a group of Peacekeepers, when Posy shouts for him. He turns around and makes his way to us, excusing himself from the group.

"Hey guys! What's chill'n?" He says. His funny 'word' gets a laugh from Posy. That's why she likes him.

"Nothing much." Gale replies.

"So how's married life treating you both? You haven't got her knocked up yet?" He says, winking at me. He see's our stoned expressions. "I'm just messing with you two!" He says giddily.

I can't believe he would say something like that. No, it's Darius.. I can. No wonder him and Rory also get along so well.

"Well, I got to get back to work. New Head Peacekeeper, he's a mean old guy too." Darius says. "Bye Posy." he adds. He doesn't give us time to reply before he's returning to his group.

New Head Peacekeeper? I shrug it off and follow Gale a few yards to the Hob. It's set just off of town and looks abandoned from the outside. We may our way in, our sibilings in toe and thankfully Greasy Sae still has some of her wild dog soup left. We trade for a few bowls and eat our lunch at one of the tables she has set up. As we eat, I can tell things aren't quite normal, people seem to be moving frantically and we've only been sitting here for fifteen minutes and two fights almost broke out over trades.

We finish eating and make our way into the town that Gale insisted we do. I offered after lunch to take Posy home for a nap, as I could even take one myself, but he said were both coming. At least it is a beautiful day, for the exception of the panic, frantic people moving about their business. Only if they knew the real truth. After walking around the town for a good hour and taking a break at the fountain in the center of town square we make our way back to the Seam to visit Thom and his family. He lives at the complete opposite side of the Seam from Gale and I, so it takes a good thirty minutes of pure walking. When we approach the front porch I'm about to just fall into one of the rockers in the chair but the front door opens, Thom's mother opens the door holding a crying Alec.

"Oh, Hello! Look who's here Alec!" She says, trying to cease his crying.

He looks up at us and stops crying immediately, holding his arms out for us… for me. I'm not good with babies so I don't extend my arms to him. She see's this and invites us in. If I thought Gale's house was crazy I was completely and utterly wrong. The house itself is rather large for a Seam home, but small compared to the two adults and five children living here. There's screaming(happy) coming from the back hall, the sound of shattering glass and… I do my very, extremely best to stop laughing but poor little three year old Sophie has her head stuck in the stairs banister. I hear Gale laughing too.

"Sophie Grace!" She shouts at her, but I can see the grin threatening to make an appearance. Alec starts crying again and another sound of screaming children coming from the hall off of the kitchen.

"I'm sorry Gale, but could you take Alec for me while I help Sophie?" She asks.

Gale says yes of course and she shouts for Thom as she starts to help Sophie wiggle her way out from the railings on the banister. Gale sets Posy down and sets little Alec on his chest. Rory, Vick and Prim take off town the hallway to find the screaming twins and Thom comes running down the stairs, not before noticing his half sister though-

"Well how in the world did that happen?" He asks his mother, laughing.

"Don't. Even. Ask!" She replies, the grin finally making an appearance.

Thom finishes the last few steps of the stairs and stands with us. We talk about nothing important and Thom's mother finally frees Sophie from the banister, she takes her off to her room.. Probably to reprimand her. I like his mother okay, she reminds me a lot of Hazel. But I don't know how any one could remarry two months after their husbands death. As Gale and Thom continue talking, adding me in the conversation every so often, I watch Alec as he plays with one of Gale's buttons on his shirt. Okay, I can't argue, he _is _cute but that's it. I can't imagine the pain of all the work he must bring this family. But all I can think of is him, one day making his way to the Capitol to be slaughtered. Alec looks up to me and screams at the top of his lungs. It makes me and Posy jump a bit but it's doesn't faze Thom or Gale. They both laugh-

"He's been doing that lately. Mom says it because he's discovered his new voice." Says Thom.

"How old is he now?" I ask, curiosity taking over.

"He just turned thirteen months." Thom replies with a smile.

Gale gestures for me to hold him but I shake my head no. I know it's a matter of time before Gale mentions having children, but I'm still set on like before… I do not want children. I'm not looking forward to having to tell Gale no. Kids aren't his specialty but he likes them and is good with them.

We spend the rest of the afternoon with Thom's family. Playing games, talking and playing with Alec. His Step-Dad come's home from running into town and he's quite nice. He's handsome for being an older gentlemen. It must be around four o'clock when I suggest we should be heading home. Gale and I decided on our way here to make a quick dusk hunting trip, skipping dinner for the two of us. We bid our goodbyes and head back to Hazel's house to drop his siblings off as well as Prim for dinner.

After that we head off into the woods just as the sun is beginning to set low on the horizon. I'm feeling more exhausted then ever and I'm starting to regret agreeing to this hunting trip. We do good though, after a few hours we catch one of our best loads in a long time. We walk back hand in hand as the darkness is just setting to Hazel's house to pick up Prim. I'm somewhat excited and nervous to start my second week at the school. I have a sudden idea that's been at the back of my mind concerning the music at school but I decide to voice my idea to Gale when were alone. We collect Prim, bidding our goodnights to Hazel and the kids this time and continue back home… _finally._ Prim walks in between Gale and I and we each hold her hand. Then, at that moment I realize this is all I need to be happy. I have the two people I love in my life with the exception of my father. But I feel him… I feel his blessing over me.

I know, that this sudden happiness and calmness I have felt since marrying Gale can only come from something or someone higher. . . . . . . . . .

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_**Chapter 11 Preview: What will happen when Katniss get's sick and is forced to visit her mother for medicine? What will take place when a certain baker boy starts to help Rory with his wrestling? And what will happend when a certain emergency take's place in the Seam?**_


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N - Hello All! Chapter 11 is here, yay! This chapter is a 'set up' type intro to the drama that will be following in Chapter 12, as well as the following ones. BIG surprises coming up! You might be slightly shocked at the end of this chapter xD! I have a plan behind it though:D. Anyway, I don't name my chapters officially but I decided to unofficially name this chapter 'Broken'. I hope you guys like it, it's got a short conversation between Katniss and her mother. I didn't want to add angry drama there, I wanted to write more of a serious scene between the two of them rather then yelling at each other. Peeta will either be in the next Chapter(12) OR Chapter 13. Sorry! Also, I didn't and don't have much time to check grammar/spelling on this chapter so PLEASE forgive any mistakes.**

**Anywho, I only got one (THANK YOU, Firework7!) review for chapter 10 so I hope everyone's doing okay, and if your in/near the storms in Oklahoma(and the other states).. stay safe please! The thunder storm in this chapter gave me inspiration from those storms moving across that state, and the rain I'm currently getting where I live. ;)**

**Well, I think that will do it! Chapter 12 WILL be up Wednesday afternoon my time(U.S. EST). It MIGHT be up be up tomorrow(Tuesday) but I highly doubt it. But for now... Chapter 11 Ladies and Gentlemen... (Love to all - Macayla) **

**(NO Chapter 12 Preview)**

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The week goes by awfully quick. Prim settles right in, making the home her own… which it is. My extreme drowsiness doesn't let up any. The first day back teaching was good, it was a Monday so I had the little kids, actually my favorite class. They came in, eager to learn the song more. But they didn't start without giving me pictures they colored and a few had 'Best Teacher Ever' written across the top. I pinned most of them up through out the room, but I took a few back home to show Gale. He laughed and suggested we hang them up in the living room. Now work and home is filled with my students art work, but I like it. Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday come and go before I'm even aware. The only good thing is I get to see Rory, Vick and Prim. Gale takes over a shift for a man who has an ill wife, so I barley see Gale. He still leaves home at five in the morning, but he doesn't come home until after ten and Prim and I are already in bed by then.

It's Friday morning before I know it. Now I'm nervous… this is the age group that kept making mean comments to me. The good thing though is Principle Maddox told me she banished them from my class, making them have extra math class instead. I smile at that thought while I change my night clothes for black dress pants and a pick blouse. I run downstairs, knowing I'm running late, and grab the lunch Gale still has time to make me, stuffing it into my game bag. While I walk (more like run) to the school, I twist the solid gold ring on my wedding finger. It's been a month and one week since Gale and I have been married and he still hasn't told me how he could afford to get me something like this. I know Madge helped him out, but she won't tell me either.

Gale.

I would do anything to see him. I have not seen him more then a minute or two this whole week. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, the weekend again. They seem to come so fast lately.

I make my way into the school and to my music room. There's not much to set up, the already know the song pretty well. Two hours later they come in, taking their same seats. I notice Principle Maddox was right, those three idiots are no where to be seen. I also notice Peeta Mellark staring at me, I do my best to ignore it (which I find a little hard). After a bit we break for lunch and then return. Working on a measure of the song they keep singing an octave to high on. Just as their getting it, and sounding pretty good, the bell rings. They leave, a few of them smiling at me and continue to their next class. I had almost completely forgotten until now of the idea I have for the music here. Since I know I can't tell Gale until tomorrow, I decide to go ahead and run it by Principle Maddox. I sling my game bag over my shoulder, locking the music room door behind me as I make my way to her office on the far side of the school. I get there to see the door to her office cracked open a bit. Something tells me not to knock but just to invite myself in. I open the door just a little and peak my head in to see her shifting through mounds of papers on her desk frantically, mumbling words to herself. I knock lightly on the door to get her attention. I nearly scare her half to death when I do, she quickly moves the papers to one side of her desk.

"Come in! What can I do for you?" She asks while taking off her glasses. I walk in a bit further.

"I wanted to run an idea by you." I reply. She leans back in her chair.

"Go ahead." She says.

"I was thinking of maybe having the children perform at the Harvest Festival next month. If that's ok with you?" I ask, moving my eyes from hers to the carpeted floor.

She agrees it's a wonderful idea and says she will set it up with Mayor Undersee who is over it. The Harvest Festival is a yearly… festival we have once a year around the end of November. We were taught in school that it use to be called Thanksgiving and it was spent with just family and friends, but now Panem has made it a festive celebration rather then a holiday. I like the Harvest Festival though, here in twelve we have musicians who know how to play the old folk music come and play while people dance, other people get on the make shift stage in the middle of the square and sing, dance or even tell old stories. There's also a few vendors set up with their items they sell and trade. But it's mostly a gathering time to see old and new faces. The idea with having the children sing came to me out of no where while I was teaching last week.

As I start walking out of her office, I can't help but have an odd, uncomfortable feeling about her. A feeling I've never gotten from her before. I shrug it off as I leave her office and make my way out of the school, passing the littlest children in the hallway. They all say 'Hi' to me and greet me with hugs. Once all the children hug me (_every_ one of them) I continue making my way out the two large front doors and into the school yard. But for some reason, as soon as I descend the front steps, my lunch decides to make a reappearance. I _hate _vomiting… but who doesn't? One of those damn little kids must have had a cold last week. They always come in sneezing, snot hanging out of their nose and their thumbs in their mouth. I finish hurling up my lunch and slowly make my way to the Seam. I felt pretty good afterwards, but now as the Seam is approaching I start to feel dizzy and nauseous again. I manage to hold it in until I'm walking up the front steps of the house. I have just enough time to lean over the porch railing as what little bit of lunch was left makes an appearance too. I know I need to get medicine. We take any type of colds here in twelve seriously, especially in the Seam. With our malnourished bodies, it doesn't take much to kill us. People die all the time from just simple chest colds or head congestions. There's even been several that has died from the stomach flu. I make my way into the house, clutching my aching stomach and shift through the few types of medicine we have. We have a few different types, but nothing to calm a stomach. I decide to pop a few of the pain killers my mother makes from the herbs, just to see. I don't even bother changing my clothes, I just cuddle on the couch, willing for Gale or even Prim to be home. But Gale doesn't come home until tonight and Prim still has three more hours of school. It's only around one in the afternoon. I close my eyes, but I barley make it up the stairs and into the bathroom before I hurl yet again. It's definitely the stomach flu, I've seen patients come to my mother with these same symptoms for that. There's absolutely nothing left in my empty stomach, only bile makes an appearance this time. I decide I can't take it any longer and choose to make a visit to the only person who I know can help me get this out of my system. She is the least person I want to see right now,

My mother.

I've barley talked to her since Gale and I married. Only the occasional small talk and the conversation about Prim's new living arrangement. I'm more mad at her then ever now, leaving Prim again when I wasn't directly there. Prim, who checks on her daily, said she is doing good and not spending time in her bedroom like she usually does when she slips back into the oblivious. I pull on my winter jacket and walk with my head down to my mothers house, the home I grew up in. After the short walk I contemplate knocking, but I decide not to and let myself in. The house is abandoned except for the small fire still burning in the fireplace.

"Mom?" I call out, almost choking at the word.

"In here dear!" She answers from what sounds like her bedroom.

I walk past the kitchen and to the small door off of it. I see her sitting on her bed, rummaging through an old metal box. I clearer my throat to get her attention. She looks up from the metal box and at me.

"Are you sick dear?" She asks while getting up from the bed and walking towards me. I nod my head.

"It's my stomach." I say. Immediately she turns from being a mother to a healer based on her facial expressions. I start to feel nauseous again but manage to hold it in for now.

She see's this though and takes me by the hand, leading me into the kitchen. I take a seat at the table as she sorts through mounds of different herbs, pills and different liquids. It seems like forever before she pulls out a single bottle from the mess. She huffs when she looks at it. She fills a glass with water and makes her way to me.

"This should help it, honey. This usually works for upset stomachs." She says, pouring some of the white powder from the bottle into the glass of water.

She hangs me the glass and I smell it before I bring it to my lips. The clear liquid has changed a powdery white and it smells a bit sweet. She gives me a reassuring smile as I finally bring it to my lips. It taste bitter though, but I'll do anything to stop this cold before it gets worse. I know I need to drink all of it, so we both sit there in silence as I slowly sip on the powered liquid. My mother never takes her eyes off of me and it's annoying. She finally breaks the silence-

"I'm sorry." She says, barley audible.

I look into her cold stone eyes I try to desperately to avoid to see tears. Probably tears for herself. When I don't reply she continues.

"I'm sorry I'm not perfect, Katniss. I-"

"No one asked for you to be perfect. I just wanted you to be a mother to Prim again." I say, realizing what I said after they came out. I usually remain silent when my mother goes on her 'sorry rants'.

"I know, I know. It was just… after you fathers death I felt like I couldn't go on. That there was no life after him. Katniss.." She says, taking my free hand in hers. I want to pull away but I don't. "… think about the love you have for Gale, how much your in love with him. Imagine he just gets taken away from you, out of no where and so suddenly. It would hurt, wouldn't it?" She asks, titling her head down.

I nod my head in reply. She's right, it would hurt me, but I would _never_ abandoned Prim no matter what. She continues again-

"It hurt me. It _broke _me. I'm still broken from it. Katniss, I love you and your sister more then _anything _in this whole, entire world! The two of you are everything to me. And without _you, _the three of us wouldn't be here. I am _so _proud of you sweetheart. More proud then you ever know. I'm so sorry Katniss. I'm sorry for a lot of things. Please just forgive me. I love you so much!" She says, smiling as she places her hand on my cheek.

How am I supposed to respond to words like that? Can I forgive her? Do I forgive her? I do stop and imagine again what it would be like if Gale died the horrific death like our fathers, leaving me behind as a widow. It crosses my mind all the time, and I agree with her… it would hurt, it would break me too. But I can't forgive her. The place she had put me in at the ripe age of eleven was nothing but painful for me. I wasn't even a teenager yet and I was practically raising a kid while mourning the death of one of my own parents, it's more like both. My mother died just as much as my father and she still has… in a way. Yes, she's better, but she's _broken_ still. I've tried forgiving her in the past, for the sake of my father but I couldn't. I can't. I finish the medicine when I muster the words I haven't said to her in five years, and I mean them-

"I love you, too."

Just as she opens her mouth to speak I feel another wave of nausea hit me. I make it just in time to the bathroom off of the living room before more bile comes up, and the medicine. I groan when I see it all. My mother of course comes in, holding my hair back. She frowns when she sees the medicine didn't stay down. After another wave of vomiting it finally starts to reside some. She leads me back to the table in the kitchen, taking my same seat.

"I think this cold is going to be a little bugger." She says, rummaging through the mounds of medicine again.

After a few minutes she stops and lets out a sigh of frustration. She looks at me and back to the medicine's, then back at me again.

"Well, I don't really have anything else to sooth in hon. Your just going to have to try and keep it down next time." Says my mother with a reassuring smile.

She begins to pack a container with some of the powder to take home. She tells me no more then two spoonfuls into a glass of water. I nod my head in reply but she still writes in on a scrap piece of paper, placing it into the container.

We talk for a little bit longer, she asks me how I like teaching and what I do exactly, noting me on how proud father would be, she asks about Gale and I. I ask her about her patients and ask if she needs any specific herbs. It's nice, we talk calmly. And again, for the first time in five years, I enjoy it. But I'm still not ready to forgive. The clap of thunder reminds me I need to get home. Prim will be back from school any minute. Since I haven't felt sick in the past hour and a half, and more medicine has stayed down, my mother agrees. We both stand-

"Do you want me to walk you home?" She asks, handing me the medicine she packed for me.

"No, I'll be fine." I reply, whipping the fall snot with my sleeve.

She walks me to the door but I end up gripping the kitchen counter as another nauseated wave hits me. I put my hand over my mouth as I do my best to get it in.

"Just take a few deep breaths." She tells me as she rubs circles on my back.

After my mothers words I hear another loud clap of thunder, followed by the sound of a heavy rain hitting the roof. Great, if only I left a few minutes ago, I think to myself. Mother curses under her breath, which would get a laugh out of me if I wasn't trying to keep my vomit down, when she hears the pouring down rain. It's not common for our part of Panem to get thunder storms like this during this time of the year, I find it odd.

After a few seconds the nausea begins to subside and I manage a sigh. My mother asks me if I have had any other symptoms and I tell her nothing unless you count the bit of doziness. She lets out another sigh of frustration. She opens her mouth as to speak but hesitates with her words, as though she's second guessing. But she talks anyways, lowering her voice to a much calmer, soothing voice before she says her next words-

"Katniss, honey, are you sure your not pr-"

The sound of beating fists interrupt her words. Their the knock is frantic so we both take the few remaining steps to the door. My mother opens it and a breathless, wide eyed Prim stands there. She's gasping for air, obviously from running. She's so breathless she don't even speak but only makes points to something up the road a bit.

"What's wrong, Prim?" Asks my mother.

Prim doesn't say anything but only grabs the both of us by the hand, dragging us down the porch and the Seam road. She lets go of our hands and breaks out into a full out run. It's pouring down rain and the wind pushes me and mother back. Prim disappears into the storm. It's almost completely blinding between the heavy (extremely heavy) rain and the atrocious wind. Just then the emergency alarms that they have placed every so yards starts to ring. I remember from school that three bells mean's a Tornado warning… and there's three.

"Come on!" She shouts.

It doesn't sound like a fun 'come on', it sounds frantic. I follow after her, running too, which doesn't help my stomach. I can't see three feet ahead of me, but I follow Prim's voice. I hear my mother's foot steps a few paces behind me. I smack into Prim just as we round the corner to meet the boys, Posy and Hazel, standing under a person's porch, it's not their's, it's their neighbors. We come up on them, joining them on the porch. I'm completely drenched, soaking wet from the rain water. I look over to them and I realize their faces are a mixture between shock and tears. I follow their gaze to a few yards in front of us and that's when I see it through the blinding rain,

Their home is engulfed in flames. . . . . .


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N - My dear readers... Chapter 12 is here! LOTS of drama! And still more to come. This is personally my favorite chapter yet and I believe my longest. Hope you guys like it as much as I do! Now the storm in this chapter was inspired by the Tornado in Oklahoma but in _NO_ way do I mean to mock or not take the situation seriously! Hope none of my readers were effected! **

**Josh Y95- You definitely will see a short(at least) conversation between Gale and Peeta soon, remember, Rory's on the wrestling team now! ;) Thanks for the reviews everyone, they mean so much!**

**Anywho, not much to say about this chapter.. It's pretty intense(to me). I'm not going to give you a preview on Chapter 13 but all I can say is more drama, and where the end of this chapter leaves off, the next will begin a bit with humor;) ;) ;). Well, Chapter 13 WILL be up Saturday! I will not be able to update friday, apologizes! But for now.. Chapter 12 awaits you! Much love - Macayla **

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I have to do a double take, but the flames are there. Home's catch fire all the time in twelve, they usually burn to the ground. Hazel and the kids are going to lose what little they had. I feel powerless, and I am. Sadly there is nothing I can do. There's only one option and that option comes. A group of Peacekeeper's emerges from the storm, making a semi circle around the house and spraying some giant white substance. I've seen them do this before and it can work if the fire is not to big. The flames coming from the house aren't huge, their only pouring out from the windows and doors, smoke billowing from the roof though. I look over to see a sobbing Hazel, clutching on to an expressionless, confused Posy. Rory's jaw is tightened in anger and a crying Vick has an arm around his mother. I walk up to her-

"Mrs. Hazel?" I say calmly, getting her attention.

She lets out small sound from the back of her throat before she throws her one arm that's not holding Posy around me. I hug her back of course.

"I'm so sorry. What happened?" I ask. Another loud clap of thunder sounds, scaring Posy.

She pulls away from the hug and nods her head sadly in reply. I take that as an answer. We stand there, staring as the Peacekeepers work to fight off the flames. It must be a hopeless, painful feeling to watch your own home, with all your personal belongings, burn. I feel those emotions and it's not even my home. But I watch as the home I spent three months in with the Hawthorns, the place where I told Gale I loved him burn to the ground.

"Please, come in." Says the woman who must own the house we are using as rain shelter.

Were still getting soaked even though were under the porch, Prim, Rory and Vick follow her in. Hazel sets Posy down-

"Go with your brothers and Prim." She says, subsiding her sobs long enough to get the words out.

Posy nods and follows them, I gesture for my mother to join them and she does. Hazel folds her hands together, placing them under her chin. For a second I think she forgets I'm there, watching the home burn with her. She looks at me again-

"Oh Katniss!" She says in a whisper, I can barely hear the words. The sound of the rain almost over shadows them.

She wraps her arms around me again, clutching onto the back of my jacket. We turn our faces to see the smoke raising as we continue the embrace. She's a bit taller then me. I would say that's where Gale get's his tallness from but he said his father was taller. Gale stands at least almost seven feet. The day I meet someone taller then him, I will be utterly shocked. He said that other kids in his school classes his whole life would call him 'Big Foot' jokingly, not rudely. Big Foot was some mythical creature our ancestors use to believe lived in the woods or mountains.

"I wish Gale was here." She says, through her sobs and breaking me of my thoughts.

"I know," I reply, rubbing her back. "Me too."

We stand there for another good few minutes before I decide we should head in, before she gets sick or my own cold gets worse. So far the nausea has stayed away and I'm grateful for that.

"We should go inside. They know were over here." I say. The Peacekeepers have the flames somewhat under control, I can barely see the flames through the still blinding rain.

She nods her head in answer and I take her hand and she follows me into her neighbors house. It's a small house when we enter, but the lady is right there at the door. She smiles at us as she leads us into the small living room. It's a closed off room from the rest of the house. I sit next to Hazel on the couch and Posy runs up into her lap.

"Mama, what's going on? Why are we here? Why are you crying? Why-"

"Posy, please!" She shouts. I've never seen Hazel shout at her children this way.

I reach over and guide Posy into my lap, but before I can speak to her there's a knock at the door. The lady goes off to answer it.

"Posy.." I say but I lose my words. How am I supposed to tell a four year old that her house is gone?

"Mom?" Says a voice from the doorway.

Gale.

He's standing there, soaking wet in his mining uniform. Hazel jumps up, throwing herself into Gale's arms. He looks at me over her shoulder and I give him a sadden smile. I have no idea how Gale managed to leave the mines, especially taking over that mans shift and how he knew we would be over here. Just then there's _another _knock on the door. The woman leaves again to answer it as Gale leads Hazel back to the couch, I scoot over and he sits in between me and his mother. He gives me a quick peck on the lips before turning his attention back to his weeping mother.

"What happened?" He asks. You can hear the mixed and confused emotions in his tone.

But Hazel doesn't have time to answer as four Peacekeeper's walk into the living room. Soaked just like Gale.

"Mrs. Hawthorn?" One of the Peacekeeper's asks. For a second I thought he was talking to me, but I forget me and Hazel are both 'Mrs. Hawthorn'.

Hazel sits up straighter.

"We have successfully put out most of the flames." Says the same Peacekeeper.

"You very lucky it was and is raining miss." Says another one. The original Peacekeeper speaks again-

"Yes. There are still a few burning embers but the storm has gotten to heavy for us to continue working in. I have to do what's best for my men, miss. But the rain should put them out though." He says.

For a split second I'm grateful, their gone, their put out. And the way they made it sound, the house will be alright, not good, but alright. But his next words steal that joy.

"Also, I'm sorry but the house is not livable or safe. We will have some of our men escort you after the storm to collect what can be salvaged." He says, nodding his head once.

"Thank you." Hazel manages.

Just as they turn to leave a sudden, an ear piercing sound cracks outside. There's also a sound of a window somewhere in the house shattering. A few of us let out frighten yelps at both sounds. The Peacekeeper's run out the front door. For a second I think it's just lightning that hit extremely close, but I notice the howling sound coming from outside. This isn't just any storm…

"Get down!" Says Gale, practically pushing me, Posy and Hazel to the ground.

Everyone else follows, laying flat on the ground with out hands over our heads. They teach us this in school early. Hazel throws herself on top of Posy, Rory and Vick, My mother over Prim and Gale over myself. I feel bad, extremely bad that I'm not throwing myself on top of my own mother and sister. It's my job to protect them. I start to get up but Gale is laying completely flat over my body.

"Don't move." He says, his lips are pressed up against my ear. The howling sound grows louder, almost defining.

But I don't listen, I muster up all my strength push myself up. Just as I stand though, the window on the wall shatters. Sending glass flying at me and on top of everyone else. I have just enough time to feel several sharp strings before I feel Gale knock me on the ground, literally throwing himself on top of me.

"I told you to stay down!" He screams at me.

But even though he screams it I can barely hear him. The shattered window lets in high winds and rain. Were all getting soaked again but that's the least of my worries. The howling sound is louder then ever. Everyone is letting out small screams and yelps that I can barely hear. The only thing I can hear is my own heartbeat pounding inside my head. I can feel Gale's hand on top of my own I have over my head and the sharp stings through out different places on my body. The sound and wind picks up the most yet but only for a few seconds. After that… silence. The rain, wind, sound, it just…

Stops.

I feel Gale raise up just a bit but he presses his hands down on mine, making me stay.

"Stay down." He says.

The silence is completely… silent. All you can hear is the eight of us breathing, and the woman. Gale slowly undo's his hands from me and slowly raises. I've had my eyes closed the whole time and I'm almost scared to open them, but I do. I don't find nearly as much destruction as I thought I would, everything is still intact expect the window and the littered debris that came in through it. I stand up and so does everyone else.

"Is everyone ok?" Gale asks, getting to the question before me.

Everyone either answers 'Yes' or manages some kind of moan. I look around and there doesn't appear to be any major injuries.

"What was that?" Prim chokes out.

"Tornado probably." Gale says flatly.

My mother walks over to me, immediately examining my small puncture wounds. She instructs me to take my heavy jacket off. I almost refuse, I'm soaking wet and freezing cold from the weather but I listen anyways. I undo the zipper and pull it down my back, the freezing, now slow wind hitting my bare arms. I only have my short sleeved shirt on under it. Gale take's the jacket from me as my mother starts to exam my small wounds. The glass must have been sharp enough to go through my jacket. My mother first picks out the glass from my arms, I have at least four on each arm. I wince slightly as she does. Hazel leaves the living room taking the boys and Posy with her, most likely to see what's left of the house. I look over to Gale and I can tell he's contemplating staying with me or being there for his mother, I remember Hazel's words when we were on the porch-

"Go." I tell him.

He shifts from foot to foot, not listening to my direct words. I tell him again but he still stands there. Finally I shout the word to him and finally he walks out, joining Hazel and the kids.

"Stubborn men." My mother says quietly to me, I chuckle.

As my mother starts to work at the wounds on my chest and collarbone area I start to feel another wave of nausea come over me.

"Deep breaths." She reminds me.

I do and after a few seconds it seems to work. Prim see's this though and asks if I'm ok. I tell her I have the stomach flu. She nods her head in answer.

"Prim, why don't you go see if Mrs. Hazel needs anything?" She says to Prim. Her tone is more of an order rather then a question.

She nods her head and the woman who owns the house were still in walks her to the door. My mother goes back to working on my wounds. I wince again when she pulls out a big piece from my chest.

"Sorry hon. Next time you might just have to listen to your husband!" She comments jokingly.

"My stubborn husband?" I reply. We both give light laughs.

It's another first for us in the past few years, laughing together. I can see the pure joy on my mothers face. Am I glad were getting to some type of relationship? Yes. But I still find myself unforgiving.

"I never got to finish my question from earlier. Katniss, " She lowers her voice and looks me directly in the eyes. ".. do you think you could be-"

"Mrs. Everdeen? There's a few injured people in town, they need you!" Rory informs us.

My mother gives me a questioning look and I tell her I'm fine, telling her the truth.

"Ok. Just make sure to clean the wounds with clean water as soon as you can." She says.

I nod my head and my mother leaves the room. I follow behind her, down the small hallway and out the door. The woman is holding the door open and I bid her thank you and goodbye's. I turn around and stand on the porch to look across the street. Now that the rain has completely stopped I can see the remains of the house clearly now. All that remains are the walls, black and charred. The roof is completely gone and the porch is gone. Hazel, Gale and the kids are standing in front of it, Hazel in Gale's arms. I walk off the porch and observe the Seam road. It's completely littered with every sort of debris from the storm, even some ash from the fire. All the houses look to be mostly intact though. Rory is leading my mother down the road, toward the town.

I walk over to Gale, Hazel and the kids, taking my jacket from Vick and pulling it on. Hazel undoes her arms from around Gale and hugs me.

"I can't believe I was so stupid!" She exclaims through her tears. I feel Vick wrap his arms around us.

"It will be ok, mama." He says.

I look over Hazel's shoulder and at Gale. He's staring blankly at the charred home, his jaw tightened in anger. He looks just like an older Rory. I know, as his wife I should be comforting him. I politely undo my arms from her and walk past her, toward Gale. I wrap my arms around him from his backside, he immediately turns around, burying his head into my neck. For a second, I didn't understand why Gale would be completely upset and devastated, none of his belongings where there anymore, he would only be upset for his family. But then I can only imagine, to loose the house you grew up in… with you're father. And I'm sure there were belongings there of his father still. I'm about to say something to him but he leaves my embrace, walking to the rubble home.

"Gale?" I say, grabbing his arm, remembering what the Peacekeeper said about it being dangerous and having one of them escort us. He stops and Hazel repeats those words to him.

"They don't own the damn house." He says.

He yanks his arm from my grasp and continues anyways. There's no door, barely any front wall actually. All the other walls are there mostly though, black but there. For some reason I run and follow Gale into the remains. I hear Hazel behind me. It's weird, to see the place I lived with Gale for three months, the place I first told Gale I loved him just… gone. Prim, stays with Vick and Posy while we start shifting through the piles of ash, fallen roof structures, charred furniture and other belongings. My only current wish is that the sun would come out and warm things up, it's still extremely overcastted but at least it's not raining anymore. For the next few minutes we continue to search, the nausea hits me again. Gale asks and I tell him the stomach flu-

"Katniss, you don't need to be doing this. Go home, I'll be there when I can." He replies, stopping from picking up a piece of burnt wood.

"I'm fine, I promise." I say as it begins to subside. I bend down, helping him with the piece of wood.

I'm thankful, he doesn't argue back but he starts to get utterly annoying. Not letting me do… anything really. But I still do it anyways, when he's not looking. Another few minutes go by when Hazel finally tells us how the house caught fire. She tells us that lightning struck something nearby, the noise startled her, sending the candle she was holding to the ground and on top of the laundry piled on the floor. She said it immediately burst into flames quickly and she panicked.

An hour goes by and we manage to salvage a lot of belongings considering the condition the house is in. We find a lot of clothing surprisingly and other personal items. Some of Posy's toys, a few of Vick's books and so on. I walk into what's left of Vick's bedroom to find only a fragment left of his science project. I feel bad, extremely bad it's ruined. He was so proud of it, Seam kids are rarely able to make them. Gale gives me a sadden smile. After we collect what can be salvaged, we talk for a bit about what is next. Gale and I agree that the only option is for them to live with us until, well, something can be worked out at the Justice Building. Sometime's they will grant families new homes after it is destroyed, but not all the time. You have to almost open a 'case' of sorts, taking it to the high up officials in our District Twelve government. I think about offering my mother's home, knowing it's _much _bigger then Gale and I's but the home is most likely filled with ill patients from the storm currently, and it's filled with them more often then not. The things I see myself are no good for Posy, or even Vick and Rory. We grab the items we saved, leaving the remains behind. I'm the last to walk out of what's left of the home when I notice one, single item we somehow managed to look over. The picture of Gale's father is still hanging on the completely burned wall. The only thing the picture has is a crack in the glass, but besides that, the flames didn't touch it. I'm utterly shocked at the sight of it.

"Gale?" I say, getting his attention. He turns around, joining my gaze to the wall.

He doesn't even say anything but takes it off the wall, tucking it under his arm and giving me another quick peak on the lips. We join Hazel in telling the kids of the new living arrangements. It will be tight, but we will somehow manage. There is _no _way we could not take them in, they _are _my family now. We all walk back to Gale and I's home, it's quiet, no one talking to each other. I feel my stomach clench up but the nausea never comes thankfully. I contemplate taking a quick walk into town, to see what damage the storm did but I choose not to, I've seen enough destruction today. We come up on the house and walk inside, gratefully we have no damage but for a few shingles missing on the roof. Gale suggest we put the salvaged items in our bedroom for now, we all go upstairs, dumping it all into the corner of the room. As we are all (besides Gale) walking back downstairs I wonder to myself how in the world were going to make this work. We only have two, occupied bedrooms. Gale comes back downstairs from changing and I help him on starting on dinner. I immediately throw my arms around him though, we have been more apart then together this whole week. I crash my lips into his, not like the small ones he gave me earlier, it's a lingering, lustful kiss. He breaks it off though and I sigh.

"I've missed you." He says, tucking a piece of stray hair behind my ear.

"Missed you, too." I reply.

I let another sigh out as he ends our embrace and begins on dinner. I start to help him and I grab one of the dead squirrels, but as soon as I begin my usual routine of skinning it, I run upstairs to the bathroom throwing up again. There was absolutely no way I could have held it. After a few seconds I feel someone holding my upbraided hair from my face. It's Gale of course. I'm about to comment on how unflattering this must be to him but another wave of nausea and vomit interrupt that. Gale starts rubbing my back with his other hand, talking soothing words to me. After I finish vomiting again Gale watches as I wash my mouth out. I finish and follow Gale into the bedroom, I walk past him and bury myself under the covers in the bed. The exhaustion hasn't gotten better and now my head aches with a stinging feeling. Gale gets me tucked in before he goes back downstairs, only to come back up, telling me his mother is already cooking for us. We lie there, not talking as he cradles me.

I must have dozed off because next thing I know Gale is waking me, telling me dinner is ready. I am surprised at how much better I feel, I'm not quite hungry but I follow Gale downstairs and into the kitchen, taking a seat beside Gale. Hazel places a plate of roasted squirrel and grilled rabbit in front of me, hesitantly. I nod my head for her, telling her it's ok. Gale and Rory start sparking funny, conversations, trying to lighten the mood and it works. We completely forget about the tragedy today as we listen, and even put our inputs in about Rory's 'line of girls' and how he's much hotter then Panem's sex symbol Finnick Odair. I manage a few bites of the food, the warmness feeling good to my stomach. After were finished Hazel, Posy and the boys clean up dinner, insisting that they do. I don't complain much and neither does Gale. I retreat to the bathroom again to wash and clean my wounds like mother told me. My stomach feels almost a hundred percent better and I smile when I hear Gale's footsteps behind me. It's been almost a week since we have 'done anything', the longest we've gone. Even though it has been that long, the sudden lustfulness comes on so suddenly. We get upstairs and into the bedroom, I pull my jacket I still had on off. My wounds are acutely barley noticeable but I know I need to clean them before infection has time to set in. But right now that's not my main priority. I turn around, meeting Gale's eyes.

"We need to clean your wounds." He tells.

He walks over to me, reaching his hands out to touch my arms but before he does, I push him onto the bed. Before he has time to say or do anything I jump on top of him, straddling him. I say my next words seductively,

"I think we have something else to take care of first." . . . . . .


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N - Hello lovies, Chapter 13 is here! Some more drama near the end as well as a 'bomb shell' :-O! There's not a whole lot to say about this chapter but that I hope you like it and enjoy it, I personally like how I ended it ;) ;) ;) **

**JoshY95- Not between Rory and Peeta but between Peeta and Gale is what I meant. Although, Rory and Peeta will have some light conversation coming though, most likely in the next chapter. BUT... I just want to remind everyone, and I don't mean to crush anyones hopes or dreams for this fic BUT this is a Gale and Katniss fanfic, not a Peeta one. I had NO intention of really bringing Peeta in this to begin with, but some of you guys wanted him to make an appearance so I did. He will NOT get in the way of Gale's and Katniss's relationship though, sorry! Peeta's character wouldn't do that and I don't want that for my story. Hope everyone understands. Oh yeah, I did have to add a _little _Finnick reference... you _might _hear a little bit more of him in later chapters :O Thank's Firework7 for your review too!**

**Well, I hope everyone is doing good... It's seemed I lost a majority of my reviewers :(. They mean so much to me. Anyway, Chapter 14 will NOT be up until Tuesday. I'm sorry for another delay BUT I really want to make this next chapter good, you'll understand more when you finish reading this chapter.. hopefully. Anywho's, enjoy Chapter 13 my friends.. Reviews are appreciated! Much love - Macayla (No Chapter 14 Preview)**

**** SOME sensuality.. Feel free to skip if wanted ****

**I unofficially call this Chapter: "Love and it's Properties."**

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I quickly lean down, passionately kissing him square on the lips. After a few seconds I come up for air.

"Catnip, not rig-"

"Gale, come on!" I cut him off, pleading.

His legs are still hanging off the bed but he sits up with me still in his lap. I stretch out my legs, wrapping them around his back. He opens his mouth to speak but I cut him off again-

"Come on Mr. Hawthorn…" I say while running my thumb against his lips. ".. Just a quickie?" I ask, batting my eyelashes.

"In good time, Mrs. Hawthorn." He replies.

I sigh and get up from the bed, walking towards the small bathroom off of the bedroom, mumbling 'Asshole' as I do. He laughs at this remark and I turn around just before I disappear into the bathroom.

"It's not funny, Gale!" I exclaim irritated.

"I'm just messing with you!" He replies, still laughing. He walks over to me as I say my next words.

"Really? All I wanted was some affection from my own damn Husband! Is that to much to ask for?" I shout angrily. He puts his hands on my waist.

"When we have a house full of people waiting for us downstairs it is, Catnip." He replies soothingly, giving me a kiss on the forehead. "Plus I don't want you barfing on me during sex." He says, walking past me and into the bathroom.

I find myself mumbling the same crude word to him. I follow him into the bathroom and he helps me undress and clean the wounds, pouring clean water over them and removing a few more pieces of class. I do my best to ignore his 'I told you so' comments. After a few minutes we finish and Gale leaves to change into his pajamas, leaving me to wash. I quickly finish and walk into the bedroom, pulling on my night clothes. I decide on a 'showy' night gown I wear for Gale sometimes. It's nothing that the others can't see me in, just _way _to small for me, showing my cleavage and barley covering my bottom. I leave my hair down. I'm determined to get something out of him tonight, even if it means going to the slag heap. He smirks when he see's it but doesn't say anything. We walk downstairs together to see everyone sitting in the living room, half asleep. Gale, Hazel and myself retreat to the kitchen, talking about sleeping arrangements. After a few minutes we decide Posy can sleep with Prim in her bed and Hazel and the boy's can have our bed. It will be a tight squeeze, but they should fit. Gale and I will take the living room.

We tell this to the others and they all head off to bed, Prim bids us goodnight as she hauls a sleeping Posy into her bedroom. Hazel and the boys do as well before walking upstairs. Gale and I retrieve extra blankets and pillows before making our beds. We only have one couch and a big arm chair in the room. I start to make my bed in the chair, knowing I'm smaller and it's much easier for me to curl up in it then Gale. He see's this-

"Katniss?"

"Hmm?" I reply, curling up in the chair.

He points to the couch he has turned into a bed. I contemplate, knowing how exhausted I _still _am. But taking it from him would be selfish. He worked hard, the hardest I've ever seen him work, and if he can't have his own bed, he at least deserves the couch and not the small chair.

"I'm fine." I reply, telling the truth. The chair isn't half bad.

He walks over to me, stretching his arms out to help me stand. I take them and stand, liking where this could possibly go. He pulls me against his chest and speaks seductively.

"Well how about we share it then?" He asks, bringing his lips to me neck. Finally!

I know exactly what he means by this comment, the couch is way, _way _to small for the both of us. I would have to lay on top of him or vise-versa. I like the idea though.

"Sounds good." I reply, more of a moan.

He breaks our embrace and takes a seat on the couch, pulling me onto his lap. I don't completely sit though, I leave a few inches between us and I lean my elbows on the back of the couch, shoving my cleavage square in his face. He kisses what's exposed as his hands move over my body. I bring my forearms back and my fingers fumble in his hair, tugging lightly and making him groan. I kiss the top of his head for good measure. I plea silently that no one will catch us, we've down it with our siblings in the house before but still. I know Gale wouldn't get embarrassed if his own mother caught us, me on the other hand, I would be mortified. I still can't look Mrs. Mildred straight in the eyes anymore, Gale does though.

Gale slips his hands between my legs, running his fingers against my private, only to remove his hand all together. Sometimes Gale will play these 'games' of sorts and tonight's game looks a lot like 'hard to get'. Sometimes he'll briefly play that with me, knowing how it turns me on. His hands move over my body more but his hand goes back to the same area again and under both layers of clothing. I moan loudly, wishing his fingers would be replaced by something else. His lips are still on my chest when he speaks-

"If my mom see's us I'm going to kill you." He says moaning.

Maybe I was wrong when I said he wouldn't get embarrassed? This is coming from the same man that after only being married for five days, attempted to finger me with my own sister in the room. Yes, she wasn't paying us attention but either way, he didn't care about getting caught. But his words sounded more joking that being serious. I sit up meeting his gaze, his hands don't stop though.

"Don't…" I moan. "… worry about that. It's just you…" I kiss his nose. "and me." I say, this time kissing his lips.

My comment must do the trick, he removes his hand and somehow flips me on my back, nearly dropping me on the floor. He doesn't lay on top of me though, He spreads my legs and only removes my underwear, still leaving my small night gown on. He brings his head down between my legs. I moan loudly with pleasure while my fingers find his hair again. My old self would shun this type of intimacy, another factor why I never thought I was cut out for marriage. I never thought I'd be able to be comfortable doing this with someone. Yes, I wasn't at first, it took me some time to adapt to it, to not second guess ripping off my clothes in front of him. But I would only do it for Gale, not just because I'm married to him, but he's the only one I _trust_. I've realized it's something natural, we do it because were drawn together by _love_.

That night we try to quiet our moans as we have some of the best love making yet…

XX

I wake to the sound of… nothing. Nothing but the birds outside and the morning sunshine coming in through the window. It's another Saturday, my favorite day of the week. I realize I'm laying on top of Gale, my head on his chest and his hands wrapped around my back. Thankfully we must have remembered to put our clothes back on before falling asleep, realizing were not in a private room. Last night is still a bit of a haze to me, I don't remember sex feeling quite that good. I'm exhausted like usual, but it doesn't help that Gale and I went well into the night last night either. I yawn as I carefully and quietly get up, gently slipping away from his grasp. He's still dead to the world sleeping. I know he works hard so I don't bother in waking him yet, I decide to let one of his siblings do the dirty work for me. I yawn again as I make my way upstairs, waking Hazel and the boys. I find them all sitting up in bed though, talking.

"Were up. Thank you dear." Hazel says, losing her normally bubbly spirit. I can only imagine what she's going through.

I smile and make my way down the stairs and into Prim's bedroom off of the living room. I silently plea she didn't hear Gale and I last night. I open the creaky door to find Posy(of course) snoring away and Prim with the pillow over her face, slightly snoring herself. I laugh at the site before me, but I feel for Prim. I know how she feels, I was after all the one that shared a bed with her too for three months. I decide not to wake them just yet but have a look around the Prim's new bedroom. We helped her set it up of course, but over the week she has added touches here and there. Even though I tuck her in to bed almost every night, I never really paid attention to the room. Gale and I agreed she could do anything and everything she wanted to the room, we both slightly spoil Prim as much as we can.

I observe the room, she has her drawings hung up around. I walk around looking at them. Their happy drawings, some of the woods, the meadow, the lake, her class mates, herself and I, even Gale. She's not half bad. Of course, their not overly detailed but it's most then just doodles she does when she's board. I walk over to her desk to find half way done drawings, papers, a dried flower I brought her from the woods a few years ago. I smile at how happy the room seems. No, we live in the Seam and don't have very much but Prim _never_ complains. Instead, she's the first to share her lunch at school with a starving child or the first to give up her jacket for a shivering man, even though it's several sizes to small. Prim is naturally compassionate and happy-go-lucky. Both of which I lack.

I walk over to her dresser to find a few different pictures in cracked and rusted picture frames. The first one is of my mother, showing off her pregnant belly outside of our house. I can't tell with who she is pregnant with at first, me or Prim. But her face looks young and fresh, most likely me then. She's… glowing. I've heard of 'pregnancy glows' but it's not like that. She's… beautiful. Her long, blond hair falling down her back. She look's no older then myself, and she wasn't when she had me.

I glance to the other, framed picture to find my mother, once again pregnant but this time with Prim. You can tell she's a few years older, and exhausted. I know it's Prim because I'm in the picture. It's outside of our house again, my arms wrapped around my mothers swollen abdomen and my head resting against it. My mother looks tired but happy, overjoyed, just like the other picture. The next picture is of mothers and fathers wedding picture. Their both beautiful. You can see the pure love radiating from the two of them. Their no older then Gale and I. I smile at it, picking it up to get a better view. When Gale and I married last month, they took our picture as well. But sadly it can take a few months before the Capitol is able to print and send them back (go figure). I only hope the picture shows as much love as my parents.

"Kat?"

I turn around and Prim is sitting up, her pillow mounted over her head. I carefully replace the picture and make my way to her side of the bed-

"Morning, Little Duck!" I exclaim.

"Quake!" She lets out with a giggle.

"Quake yourself!" I reply, tucking a piece of loose hair behind her ear. It amazes me how much she looks like mother.

"So what's on the agenda?" She asks, removing the pillow from her head and yawning.

"Your guess is as good as mine!" I reply, grinning.

We wake Posy up and I help her change from her pajamas. I realize I'm still in mine but I don't make any rushed efforts to change. As I'm pulling Posy's little, brown pants up a sudden, quick wave of the damn nausea hits me again. I thought I was over it. Prim see's this and frowns. It quickly subsides and I take a deep breath.

"You really should talk to mom about it more." Says Prim while pulling on her pants.

"I already did, Primmy." I reply.

"I know, but the medicine usually works every time. Maybe it's something different?" She comments.

"It can't be. I'm fi-"

"Katniss!" She shouts. "Please go to mom again. People die from colds all the time, you know that! Please Katniss?"

"Fine!" I say frustrated. I make a mental note to stop by and see her sometime today.

Once I finish dressing Posy, we head into the kitchen. Gale is still asleep so I shove Posy over his way. She jumps on him and I hear her shout 'Gale Gale's'. I find Hazel in the kitchen, making breakfast and the boys at the table arguing about something.

"Hey Kat, one of the boys on the wrestling team is going to help me practice, can he come by tomorrow?" Asks Rory.

I nod my head 'yes' in answer. As soon as I smell the cooking food, vomit threatens to make an appearance for the second time this morning.

"Mrs. Hazel, I've got to go see my mom. I'll be back soon." I say, hunched over and clutching my stomach. She turns around from the stove.

"Oh! Of course, Sweetheart! Vick, walk her over please." She replies.

I turn away her offer from Vick and quickly pull on my winter coat, making a beeline down the Seam road and to mothers house. Finally the vomit comes though before I'm there, I quickly finish the walk when it stops and subsides. A moment later I'm at her house, I contemplate knocking again but I don't, inviting myself in like before. I find her cleaning the kitchen table-

"Oh honey are you still sick?" She asks, setting down the rag and walking towards me.

I guess I prepared for a house full of sick and injured people from the storm, but all there is is a snoring woman coming from the living room. I nod my head in answer to my mothers question. She leads me to a chair at the table, checking my forehead for a fever.

"Well, you don't have a fever." She sighs in frustration. "I really don't know what it could be but one thing sweetheart."

She's crouched down on the floor in front of me but she takes both my hands in hers and smiles.

"You've been using the pills I gave you right?" She asks. For a second I don't know what she's talking about, but then it hits me… birth control.

"Of course!" I exclaim harshly. There's _no _way in _hell _that I'm pregnant!

"Every other week?" She asks.

No, this is _not _happening.

"You said every few months!" I shout. I refuse for this to be happening.

"No, every other week I said." She says calmly.

But I'm far from calm. This is _not _what I want, I can't be-

"Katniss, it doesn't mean your pregnant. A lot of woman here have problems, taking several months to conceive. Your most likely not, but let's just check to be sure, okay?" She says. I nod my head.

Her words calm me of some sorts. My mother may be far from perfect but she's a good healer. She always knows what to do, and most of the time, when she speculates, she's almost always right.

_Almost._

I watch her as she gets up, walking in the kitchen and opening up the cabinet she keeps her medical supplies in. I've seen these 'test' before when she gave them to her patients, their disgusting. Over the years she must have stocked up on these like the pills. As she walks back over to me with it, I feel a heaviness in my chest. Is this really happening? Am I really taking a pregnancy test? No, this isn't real. I have to be dreaming… but I'm not. This isn't a dream, this is damn reality. I don't want children, I _don't _want to have to watch them die and starve. Hell, I still have one year left at the reaping myself. And how in the hell am I supposed to tell this to Gale if indeed I am pregnant? No, he'd be happy. I know he want's children, he would be thrilled.

My mother opens the small box, taking out a long… stick of sorts. I pray to God that doesn't go… up me. She quickly takes that worry off of me when she gives me the instructions on how it works. I'm supposed to pee on it. She hands me the test and gestures with her head to the bathroom. She asks if I want her to help me but I nod no. But I do want her with me when I read it.

As I'm walking to the bathroom I still can't believe this is happening, this _isn't _happening. Just what if I _am _pregnant? No, it won't be the end of the world but it will sure feel like it. I don't want this, I don't know how many times I have to say it. No, I don't have anything against children really, but I don't want _my _children to grow up in this twisted, fucked up society that we call Panem. With it's violence, death, disease, starvation… this is no world to be bringing innocent children in to. If I lived somewhere else would I have them? I don't know, _maybe_.

I walk into the bathroom, closing the door behind me and doing what she instructed me to do. It's not easy to pee on something so small, but after some moving and wiggling around, I get the job done. I walk out, joining my mother in the kitchen again, handing her the test back with shaky hands. I won't know right away, when my mother has done the test with her patients, I remember her telling them it takes time.

"Ten minutes and we'll know." She says, echoing my thoughts.

I resume my seat at the table while mother tries to speak soothing words, telling me everything will be fine no matter what the test says. But I barely listen to her, this _is _happening. I never thought that I'd be already taking a pregnancy test and only being married for a month and two weeks. The next ten minutes seem like days, weeks, months, years before the damn thing beeps, scaring the crap out of me.

"I love you and I'm proud of you no matter what." She says. I'm to numb to speak. She reaches out her hand. "Ready, Sweetie?" She asks.

I take hold of her hand, clutching like a lifeline as I stand, walking to where she set it on the counter. She hands it to me, telling me how to read it but I find myself not taking it. Willing for me to finally wake up from this hell of a nightmare. I can't raise a baby, I'm not ready for this, I'll never be ready for this. But what if I'm not? Nausea threatens me again but the drumming of my heart against my chest and my shaking legs is enough to ward it away… for now. My mother practically shoves it in my hands, making me read it myself. With shaky hand's I grasp the test as though it might break, bringing to my gaze. But before I read it, I take a deep breath blinking a few times. Finally I look at it and the feeling starts at my toes. Working it's way up bottom of my legs, threatening my knees to give away. Up my thighs, burning as it trails along my back and finally. It feel's as though someone stuck a bomb inside of my head.

I'm Pregnant.

* * *

_To Be Continued..._


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N - My dear readers... Chapter 14 is has made it's arrival! Now, it's a little short, which I apologize for but I had to leave another cliffhanger. I'm pretty pleased with this chapter, it's got some drama ;) of course and it does have an excessive amount of cursing, which I apologize for but the words sort of just flowed out with the story. Well, I won't say anything else about it... ;)**

**Thanks Firework7, Majelicious, Lossie34 and JoshY95 for your reviews! And JoshY95- I'm glad you understand about Peeta now. I'm trying to stay as close to character personalities as Suzanne Collins wrote them, and Peeta would want nothing more then for Katniss to be happy. Meaning if it's without him... Which is sad! I'm a Team Peeta A-L-L the way. You might be surprised but in the actual trilogy... I _hate _Gale! xD I've never disliked a fictional character more... And yes, exams most likely is what's going on. I'm homeschooled... so I wouldn't know! ha! But yes... I have you:D (And my other wonderful readers/reviewers!)**

***HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT: I have a dear reader of my story who is going to be translating both, "Finding The Time" AND "No Sad Goodbye's" into Spanish! YAY! I'm so blessed to have her do this for me! Look for it this summer!**

**Well, That's my announcement so I guess that shall do it! Again, sorry this chapter is a bit short but... DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA is what to expect next. Chapter 15 should be up EITHER, Thursday or Friday. Most likely Friday, Thursdays are always busy for me. So, plan for it to be up Friday sometime. Thank you lovies! And again, reviews are always appreciated! Much, much love - Macayla (NO Chapter 15 preview)**

***I unofficially name this chapter: "Safe"**

**UPDATE 5/31/13 - Chapter 15 will be up SATURDAY and not today, friday. Deep apologizes!**

* * *

The one thing that finally makes that 'bomb' inside my head explode is when I drop the test, making a loud thump on the wooden floor.

_No._

It has to be a mistake. I'm not pregnant. But…

_I am._

And there's not one damn thing I can do about it. No matter how much I told myself through out my life that I'm not having a baby, never being a parent to a child, I can't undo what's already been done. There's no turning back, I'm pregnant. Tears are threatening to spell in my eyes.

"Honey? It will be alright." My mother says, stroking my back. "I'm assuming it wasn't planned?" She adds.

Is she crazy? Of course it wasn't. She should know me to well to think that. But she doesn't, I've been completely distant from her for the past five years, all my teenage years, when you start to make and decide on life plans. Her light laugh she gives from her question/comment is what pisses me off. I give her the dirtiest look I can and walk past her, towards the door. I slam it behind me, pulling my jacket on tighter and the chilly fall air hitting my bare legs. Where to? Where to?

Gale.

He is who I want. How in the hell am I supposed to tell him I'm carrying his baby inside of me, that I'm pregnant? I don't want Gale right to tell him that, I want him because I know I can cry to him. Gale has rarely seen me cry, only a few times over my father and on the day of our wedding, but Gale isn't one to judge. I want nothing more then his strong, protective arms around me. Arms that are gentle enough to set delicate snares or hold me against his chest in the night and arms that are strong. Strong enough to mine coal miles under the surface of earth and strong enough to lug a growing Posy deep in the woods for hours. But most importantly and my favorite part about his strong arms are that they are also,

_Safe._

Gale is the only, true, one person that makes me feel completely safe. I walk up to the house, expecting to run into Gale's arms but I don't. I'm greeted with only Hazel in the kitchen still, cleaning up breakfast.

"Where's Gale?" I choke out through my held in sobs. Hazel turns around.

"He went to the Justice Building for some important meeting or gathering for the miners. What did your mother say dear?" She asks, walking towards me and seeing that I'm still in my small nightgown and jacket.

"The others?" I choke out again, ignoring her question.

"Well, I have to make a trip to the Justice Building as well to see the Mayor about getting a new home assigned, so Rory and Vick went to a friends house and I have a sweet old lady coming over to watch Posy so you can rest, honey. Pos is napping right now." She answers, smiling.

"Prim?" I ask.

"She told me to let you know she was going to a friends house as well and will be back at five." She answers again.

I hate this. It's one of Prim's 'new' things, not telling me where she's going until either the last minute or it's to late to stop her. I scowl at her words.

"Sweetheart, are you okay? You look a little pale." She asks, touching my cheek.

I stutter for a second. Should I tell Hazel? Besides Gale, she is the second most person I feel safe or who I can trust. She did after all have four children of her own and is practically a mother to myself. I've always talked to her about things I wouldn't dare go to my own mother about.

"I'm…" I stutter.

"Honey…" She starts, leading me by the hand to the couch in the living room, taking a seat beside me. "… You know that you can tell me anything. What's bothering you?" She asks, rubbing her hand gently on my arm.

"I…." I take a deep breath. "I'm…." Damn it Katniss say it! "It's nothing. I'm fine."

If I can't tell it to Hazel, how in the hell will I say it to my own Husband? I sigh in frustration and she see's it.

"Well, Katniss. I'm a mother…" So will I be, I think to myself. "… and I know, without a doubt when something is bothering, or on my own children's mind, and you've always been like a daughter to me. When you feel ready, I'll be here for you." She says, smiling and embracing me into a hug.

I shouldn't be lying to her like this. She treats me far to well for me not to tell her the truth. But she'll learn the truth soon, very soon. The knock at the door interrupts our hug. She smiles and runs to get the door, even though it's my own home.

"Grace!"

I hear Hazel says, greeting whoever knocked. I hear her greeting back and the door shutting. I decide, since it's my home that I should meet this guest. I slowly stand and walk into the kitchen where the front door is. Hazel stands in the doorway with an older lady, a darker skinned woman who looks to be well over eighty.

"Well hello there, you must be Katniss?" She says in a strong southern accent and extending her hand out to me. I shake it.

"Yes, this is Katniss. Katniss, this is Grace." Says Hazel. "Posy is sleeping now but she'll be up in a bit for lunch. Katniss here is requested to rest for the afternoon, please don't let Posy bother her." She says politely.

I would normally disagree to let this complete stranger (to me) walk into _my _house but since I don't have Gale right now, crawling into my bed and letting my tears bring me to slumber sounds good right about now.

"Oh of course! You just…" She replies, gently pushing Hazel to the door. "… be on your way."

"There's some lunch Katniss to warm up with you get hu-"

The woman slams the door before Hazel can finish her sentence, but I know what she was going to say. The woman, Grace looks at me. Her spiky, hair coming through under her straw hat and her brown eyes peering at me.

"You look weary child?" She says, tilting her head.

"I'm fine." I reply, barley.

"Well…" She starts, walking past me and into the kitchen more. "Why don't you head up those yonder stairs and I'll be bring'n you some fresh tea in a quick minute?" She asks, smiling and pulling out the herbs that are on the counter.

"No tea." I reply as I'm heading to the stairs.

Sleep. That's all I want. Sleep is where I can't think about the human life growing inside me and how I'm going to tell the human life outside of me, especially one person in particular. She nods in reply as I make the quick decent up the stairs and into the bedroom. I find the bed all neatly made, better then I make in the morning, or Gale when he's home on the weekends. I undo it anyways, and sling my jacket off of me, diving underneath the covers and pulling it up to my chin.

That's when I cry.

I should have expected this. I'm Katniss Everdeen-Hawthorn for Gods sake, nothing has _ever _gone as I planned it. I never planned on losing my father at eleven and having to practically raise a child, or I never planned on having to be a hunter, enter my name in the reaping more times for tessera. Or I certainly never planned on marrying, especially my _best friend_, my hunting partner. And I _never, ever _planned on having a damn baby! I let the sound of my sobs cradle me into a sleep full of dreams of my unborn baby.

XX

"Katniss? Wake up? Come on."

I hear a voice through my dream, it's not the father Gale I'm dreaming about, bouncing a little dark haired toddler on his leg, it's real Gale. I open my eyes to find his face, inches from mine. He brings his lips to mine. It's one of those kisses he faintly gives me after love making, or in the morning through my hazed sleep before he leaves for work. I wrap my arms around his neck, not for the sake of keeping his lips on mine, but because I need him. He doesn't see it this way though and see's it as 'more'. He rolls on top of me, pinning me to the bed with his lips and hands.

"Gale?" I say against his warm, tender lips, whimpering slightly. He brings his lips off of mine.

"What's wrong? What's on your mind?" He asks.

I can finally see his face more from the afternoon sunlight through the window. I may not be good at reading people's expression but from the years of hunting and being mentally close with Gale, and even the month of marriage, I can tell that I'm not the only one with something to tell the other. He wears a slight frown.

I sit up, making him move off of me. He sits next to me.

"I think the real question is…" I begin, taking one of his large hands into my small one, watching as our fingers interlace. "… what is on _your _mind?" I ask, finally meeting his gaze at my last word.

He looks at me, studying me. I've been crying, even through my sleep. My eyes are most likely puffy red and tear stains most likely marked across my cheeks.

"Katniss, you've been crying? What's wrong?" He asks again, ignoring my question and squeezing my hand.

I take a deep breath and stare on the wall. This is it. The moment that I tell Gale I'm pregnant, that's I'm carrying his… _our _baby inside of me. That's in nine months were be parents, together, to a child we didn't plan. A… God it sounds so horrible but true… a child we didn't want. But will we… _I _grow to love him or her? To be excited to wake up to my babies cries? To look forward to changing diapers and, once old enough, track through the woods with Gale and I? How will Prim take it? And Gale's brothers and Posy? Will it bring Gale and I closer together or tare us apart? All I know right now is that I have a pair of grey eyes trained on me, waiting for an answer. An answer that will change his life. An answer that will change _my _life and everyone around us.

Around us?

As if getting pregnant wasn't bad enough, now is definitely not the time considering we have a house full of people, mostly children filling every room… and bedroom.

"Katn-"

"Alright, we both having something we need to tell each other, I know you do Gale. You first." I say, using my stern voice.

If there's anything that I think Gale has learned about me _more _from marriage is that what I say goes. I don't mean to be controlling, but I guess I am in a way. He never complains though, which surprises me of somewhat. He looks at me, drawing in a long, rigid breath. He places his other hand on our interlocked hands, rubbing my knuckles with his thumb and clearers his throat.

"Katniss, District two is wanting to recruit new soldiers to fight against Airgusta. I signed my name up." He says, never blinking once.

"Why in the _hell _would you do that?" I shout, jumping up from the bed and standing, he joins me.

My question is true, why would Gale, knowing that I have a tremendous fear of thinking he's going to get killed and leave me as a widow, would do something so completely and utterly _stupid_? The Airgusta threats have only gotten worse. They've been sending more threats, and going through with more of them more and more lately. But I still can't believe Gale would be game for this.

"Katniss, you _know _the threats are only getting worse and more often. I know about what… whatever that guy's name is next door said! I could help them! Stop them before they kill every one of us like before!" He answers sternly, resting both hands on my shoulders. Tears spill from my eyes.

"Gale, you need to stay out of that." I say through gritted teeth. "It's the Capitol, they already know!"

"But I could _help _them. Help them fight these…" He stutters. "… monstrous people before they kill every damn one of us like before!"

"So what, Mr. 'all knowing Gale' is going to come in there and save the day? You'd want nothing more then to come out a 'hero'!" I say, gritted teeth. Anger. That's what is on both of our faces.

"No, Katniss! That's not that point-"

"Then what is the point, Gale? To leave me, leave me with your hurting family?!" I shout again. I can't believe he'd leave.

"It's not for good! It's only for six months!" He replies, gripping my shoulders tighter.

"It's six months that you could get your self killed, Gale!" I throw back.

"You don't understand."

"I do understand Gale!" I scream at him. "Damn it, I'm _not _going to be as stupid as to let you go get yourself killed!"

"No, you _don't _understand! Your just more selfish then me, you'd never take a risk like that!"

I'm not sure what come's first, the complete rage cursing through me or the slap I give Gale across the face. His words hurt, sting. My own husband calling me selfish. Who the hell does he think he is? He brings his hand to his cheek, starring at me blankly. The look on his face tells me he was expecting it. He should have been. I've slapped him before, but not since we've been married. We haven't fought like this. I step closer to him, pointing my finger-

"I don't care who you are, but _no one _calls me selfish. Not even you." I say, through gritted teeth again.

He looks at me, then brings his hands toward me. I stop back quickly though, avoiding him. Earlier I wanted nothing more then for Gale's embrace, now, he's the least person I want to see. Be even near. Strangely I want Prim, she always knows what to say to me when I'm worried.

"I'm sorry Katniss. I shouldn't have said what I said. I just didn't think you'd take the news like this, I guess." He says.

"How _did _you think I'd take the news, Gale?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"I… I don't know Kat. Not like that. I'm sor-"

"How _do _you think a wife should take the news about her husband being sent to some unknown war?!" I ask, tapping my foot in frustration. I feel like slapping his again.

"I was wrong, Katniss. But I'm sorry… I'm still going." He answers calmly. I'm beyond pissed and my sobs return.

"Gale, you can't do this to me! You'll die!" I scream at him.

During the dark days (the war leading to the Hunger Games), almost every rebel(District) solider was killed. Their not fighting the Capitol, no, but their fighting with someone much more dangerous to me. Considering what I know. I'm be damned if I let Gale go and walk into a war zone, even if it's not full on yet.

"It doesn't mean I'll be fighting! My goal is to work with the war officials, in planning future attacks! I don't want to fight, Katniss! I-"

"You don't get to choose Gale! You don't sign up for whatever fucking part you feel like!" I scream again. I walk closer to him again. "You say that I'm selfish? I'm not the one leaving my broken wife behind!"

"What? Broken? Since when have you been 'broken'? I thought you wanted this marriage, Katniss!?" He replies.

Immediately my tears stop and I look at his face. His face that his filled with anger and rage. The face that he gets when talking about how cruel and disgusting the Capitol is and how their unfair.

"I do, Gale! I love you, but right now your making me feel worthless to you. I thought I meant something to you?" I shoot back.

Never, in the time I've met and known Gale, has he ever talked to me in quite this manner. We've fought, plenty of times before, and said things we regretted, but nothing like this. Nothing as hurtful as the words he said. Now how I'm I supposed to tell in about the pregnancy? He'll definitely be mad then.

"You do. But I have to do what is right for this country. I'm sorry, so, so sorry but I do. I lov-"

"No, this isn't your business! Your not going, Gale!" I scream through my full out sobs.

"Katniss, I hav-"

"Gale you don't! Why would you do something like this to me? Your heatless!" I scream, gasping for air.

"I'm so sorry, I love you but I-"

"Your not going! I don't care what the hell you say, I'm _not _letting you walk out the door!" I say, gritted teeth yet again. I _refuse _this, not now.

"Katniss, why does this bother you this bad? Why is it so important that I don't go!?" He asks, slowly losing his temper again.

I scream my answer at him, loud enough most likely for the whole District to hear. The words come out before I can second guess-

"Damn it! I'm pregnant Gale!" . . . . . . .


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N - Phew, here it is! Now... I don't usually have a hard time writing a chapter, but boy did I with this one! I know it's not my best, you can admit it to me but gosh darn I tried my hardest. I didn't hit writers block, just had a difficult time writing how I think the characters would react, say ect. But I'm not gonna say anything about this chapter.. read and find out! Again, please forgive my most likely worst chapter yet. :'((((( (If you write, you'll understand) Also, sorry for the one day delay, again, I was having trouble writing this.**

**THANK YOU ALL for the reviews. Thank you autumn-robin, 'Guest', Firework7, (another) 'Guest', Majelicious, Amanda Styder Hawthorn, Josh Y95 and monster got swag for your wonderful and helpful reviews. EACH one means so much! Josh Y95, I guess 'hate' might be a strong word, but I very much disliked Gale's character in Catching Fire and Mockingjay, for the sake of not having a long A/N, PM me and we can talk about it! :D **

**Again all, this chapter is probably _not _going to live up to your high expectations but I'm praying you understand. As a writer, I think we all have at least one chapter we know could be better, sadly, this is the one. I didn't put nearly as much drama as I was planning, but of course, there's a little. A little fluff and funniness is also found in this one. Please forgive me if you don't like it! **

**Chapter 16 will be up either Tuesday OR Wednesday. To be honest, it could be either days, check the Facebook page for updates and info. The next chapter(16) will be picking up some, read the preview at the end to find out. I SWEAR it will be better the this horrible chapter. Also, PLEASE forgive any grammar/spelling mistakes, I only had time to read over it once. Well, enjoy folks and again, reviews are _always _welcomed! Much love - Macayla**

* * *

Confused.

That's what immediately curses through his face.

"Wha-"

"I'm pregnant Gale!" I scream at him, beyond pissed. I regret my next words. "I don't care what you think of it, but it happened. If you don't like it then don't let the door hit you on the way out!"

And with that, I yank my gold wedding ring from my finger and throw it at his feet.

God what did I just do?

Tell him to leave? I don't care how mad I am at him, I _don't _want him to leave me. I don't say anything more, I quickly and angrily walk past him, towards my dresser to pull out day clothes, even though it's well into the afternoon. There's only one place I can think of right now, and I can't go there in my nightgown,

The woods.

"Katniss, come here." He says, calmly.

I'm not sure what instincts tell me to, but I do. I listen to him. I still finish pulling out the jeans and shirt from my dresser, closing it back and slowly, without making eye contact walk towards Gale who is still standing by the bed. He takes the clothes from my hands and places it on the nightstand, afterwards pulling me into his arms, kissing me passionately. It catches me off guard some, but I find myself kissing him back. Yes, his words did hurt but I do love Gale. I'd never want him to leave. We finally come up for air.

"Katniss…" He starts, pulling me down to the bed with him in a sitting position. "First off, I'm sorry for what I said. I was just mad and I didn't mean a word I said. Forgive me?" He asks. But how could I not?

"Yes." I answer plainly.

"Good. Second, please tell me your joking about being pregnant?" He asks.

Does he really think I was joking? Especially in a moment like that? I sigh heavily before answering.

"No, Gale. I wasn't joking." I answer, closing my eyes the whole time in terror of his reaction. I hear him sigh heavily too.

"Oh. Well… I guess it's my fault." He says, avoiding my gaze. Is he really… sad about the news? I thought now, since his anger died down he'd be happy again…

"I thought you would want this Gale?" I question, turning more towards him. He sighs again.

"No, Katniss." He says, leaning his elbows on his knees.

"What?" I say. I can _not _believe Gale would say… no. "You told me before you wan-"

"I said I _would_. If I didn't live here, but you were right, I do live here." He says, looking at my gaze.

He is right though, when we had this conversation, that I have no idea how it got mention on the morning of the reaping almost a year ago now, Gale did tell me he 'would', I commented back rudely 'but you do'. This whole time, I would think Gale would be the only person who wouldn't shun me(besides Prim), who wouldn't judge me, who would love me no matter what. Am I wrong now? He speaks again.

"But.." He turns toward me, taking his hands in his. "… yes, I've _always_ wanted to be a parent." He pauses. "With you."

"Gale, how are we going to do this?" I ask, tears beginning fall from my eyes and down my cheeks, he whips them away though.

"Katniss, shh." He says, bringing my head to his chest, finally… his strong arms around me. "We have each other, that's how we'll make it. And we have our baby."

And for the first time, Gale undoes one of his arms around me and brings his hand to rest on my abdomen. I back up slightly so I can see his face, his smiling face. The feeling is so… odd? No, it's almost… happy. This may not be something we planned, or that we exactly wanted but we can't go back. It's weird to think I have a tiny, little life growing where Gale's hand rest. A life that Gale and I created,

_Together._

But there's a problem… Panem is not safe. The thought reappears of having to watch my own child be slaughtered on national TV for the Capitol's enjoyment.

"Gal-"

"We'll keep her safe. I promise I-"

"Gale, were powerless against the Capi-"

"I won't let it happen Katniss." He laughs slightly before his next words. "If they threaten her, were just have to start our own damn upraising then!"

I smile while Gale laughs again. His laugh I never to tired of hearing. It's amazing, how much Gale has comforted me now. I _know _that he means those words, it's true. Gale would never let anything or anyone hurt me or his own child. But there's _another _problem…

"But… but what if I'm a bad mother Gale?" I ask, another lone tear falling from my eyes. He laughs again. "It's not funny Gale! I'm serious!" I protest honestly.

"Really Katniss?" He laughs again.

"Gale!" I shout. I _am _being serious about my question. I'd kill myself before I turn into the witch my mother has turned into.

"Well, for starters. You've always been better at making Posy quite crying then me, remember?" He asks, I nod my head in truthful answer. "And I think the kids in your music class love you, look at all those drawings you have around the house. _And_…" He leans in closer. "You've proved, to me, our moms, everyone in this damn district that you can do it. They way you treat Prim, that's amazing Katniss. You _have _and still are raising her. And she's turned out just like you, beautiful. Inside and out." And with that, he leans in and kisses me again, cupping my face in both his hands.

I smile against his lips. His words bring on some comfort, but there will always be a side of me that will always be scared. But I assume that's normal. He finally breaks the kiss after a moment, I almost wish he hadn't though.

"Your not the only one that's scared of that. What if I'm not a good dad?" He asks, I hold in my laugh.

"Oh please Gale! Thom's brother, Alec, he loves you!" I answer, Alec's eyes always light up when Gale holds him.

"I guess your right. What can I say, kids love me!" Gale replies with a wink

I only shake my head and grin in reply and get up from the bed and retrieve my ring I threw down and hand it back to Gale, taking my seat again and stretching out my hand for him to place my ring back on. He doesn't put it on right away though-

"You didn't mean it? What you said?" He asks, I smile at his words.

"Of course not. I… I just lost my temper." I answer.

"We _both _lost our tempers, Katniss." He says while slipping the ring back on. "I don't blame you though."

"It's ok." I say quietly. He finishes placing the ring back and kisses my hand.

"It looks so beautiful on you." He says. I can't help it, but I laugh, loudly. "What?" He asks, grinning now.

"Nothing. We were just both fighting and screaming at each other and now-" He starts laughing too. "I think were both bipolar." I say jokingly.

"Na, Were just one bowl of crazy." He says, making us both laugh harder. Again, from screaming to laughing. I lean my head on his chest and he wraps his arms around me again.

"But were one big bowl of crazy… together?" I say, more of a question then a comment. He laughs again.

"_Together"._

And with that he lifts my head up, locking the word with yet another kiss.

"I'd never leave you Katniss…" He says while leaning back on the bed across it, pulling me on top of him. "… not even if you threatened me."

"Not if I put a gun to your head?" I ask, jokingly. I give him a quick kiss before he answers.

"Well… maybe." He answers.

"Wha-" I start but he laughs.

"I'm only kidding. You'd have to drag my dead body away from you." He answers. I say my next words seductively, which ends up a mistake.

"Hmm, maybe that won't be so bad." I reply, rubbing my thumb across his bottom lip. Instantly, he's hard between my legs. Great, I think to myself sarcastically. He looks at my confused. "I'm only kidding!" I say, mocking his tone.

'Doing something' wouldn't be so bad right now, but not when we have a complete stranger in the house(if she's still here) and everyone should be home any time. Gale runs his hands down my back, grabbing my butt with both hands and eyeing my cleavage.

"I like when you wear that." He says. "But I guess you won't be for long." He adds, smiling.

"Why?" I ask, moving more to straddle him.

"Well, your stomach's going to grow." He replies, like I'm stupid. I sit up, resting my hands on his chest. "Did you forget about that hon? He asks, laughing.

"No!" I say, a bit frustrated. My answer only makes him laugh shortly again.

"Good…" He says, sitting up, making me sit in his lap. "I think your going to look even hotter." He adds, kissing my neck.

To answer his question truthfully, I _had_ almost forgotten. I almost forgot what being pregnant means… nine months of torture. I shift in his lap, bringing my knees on either side of him and resting my hands on his shoulders. He glances at the door and back at me-

"I'm scared." I say quietly, almost certain he didn't hear me. But he did.

"Don't be Katniss." He answers, tucking a piece of my upbraided hair behind my ear. "You are the strongest, most bravest person I know. I know you can do it, you just have to believe it yourself." He adds.

It's amazing, how Gale can make me feel if I'm down, or worried, or scared. Prim can reassure me too, but when Gale does, it's different. A good kind of different. Of course, I'm still petrified of the next months, but I know that Gale is right. I've been through so much in my life, this shouldn't faze me.

"Thanks." I say, running my fingers through his hair. He smiles in replies, only starring at my cleavage once again.

"Come on. Let's do it quickly." He says, grinning. Again, I'm not like him. I don't like being walked in on. I laugh though.

"No! Can we even…" I say, pointing to my stomach. This get's a laugh out of him.

"Yes, Katniss. I'm pretty sure you were already pregnant last night." He says, grinning again. I nod my head, smiling as I rethink about last night. "Anyways, I had sex with a seven month pregnant girl once." He adds.

"What!?" I ask, holding in my laugh. I do my best to forget Gale's 'wild' so-called past.

"I'm not joking…" He answers, running his hands down my back. "It was a girl in my grade. We did it at her house…" He pauses for a second. "with her husband downstairs." He adds, grinning proudly. I feel my mouth drop.

"Gale!?" I shout at him, slapping his shoulder. I don't know what gives me the guts to ask the next question, but somehow it comes out before I can think. "Did he catch you?" I ask, grinning myself.

"Na, she distracted him while I snuck out." He finishes by slapping my butt.

"Why would you do something like that Gale!? She was married!" I shout, more jokingly then serious, but being honest. I can't help my smile though.

"Come on, you can't tell me you've never wanted to do one… I don't know… something you shouldn't be doing?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.

I've never considered myself… 'wild' or someone who sneaks around. I guess because I was practically raising Prim and supporting a family I was to busy to think of doing anything like that… and I can't say I ever _wanted _to or had the drive to. Not that I'd have many boy takers in that department anyways. I go back to Gale's question-

"Not really." I answer, looking at his damn grin across his face.

"Not really?" He questions. I rack my brain for anything he would consider 'wild', only one thing comes up.

"I've drunk alcohol a couple of times before." I answer, shrugging my shoulders. But I'm almost positive I've told him about it before.

"A few times? You told me you've tried it once before." He says, raising another eyebrow to add to his grin.

Crap. I did tell him only once. My answer is true though, shortly after my fathers death, whenever my mother would ask for some for her patients, I use to keep a bottle for myself, thinking I could drink my worries away at twelve, thirteen, fourteen. I did it for the first three years, occasionally having a bottle, not every day of course, maybe one every several months. Finally, at fifteen I knew I needed to stop before it became an addiction or I couldn't control myself. Thankfully it wasn't to late and I had no trouble dropping that terrible habit. I look at Gale who's raising his eyebrow again in answer.

"It was a long time ago Gale. I don't want to talk about it." I answer truthfully. He smiles.

"Alright, alright." He answers. He leans in closer, bringing his lips to my ear. "But once the baby is here, I want to see you drunk."

Gale knows, when he talks like that it turns me on. He takes full advantage of it and pulls me back down on the bed, on top of him again. But he flips me over, straddling me carefully. He starts kissing my neck, making trails down it.

"Gale, we shouldn't right now." I say calmly.

"Why?" He asks against my neck.

"Katniss?!" My name is called from downstairs, Prim's voice.

"That's why." I answer, pushing myself off of him

He stands and I follow. Before I answer her, Gale suggests we tell Prim about the pregnancy.

"Not right now, Gale. I'm not sure how she'll take it." I say, knowing that she'll be ecstatic anyways.

He nods his head in answer. I would tell Prim, but I don't want her thinking she has to move out. I want to tell her easy for some reason, although again, I know she'll be the happiest for Gale and I and be excited about becoming an Aunt. _And _I still need time to adjust to the news myself. Of course, all what Gale said helped, immensely, but I'm still _pregnant._ Most woman are supposed to be crying tears of joy, but I will still find myself crying myself to sleep of worry and sadness.

I walk over to the stairs, shouting I'll be there in a minute. I walk back over to the bed, quickly changing from my nightgown and into my jeans and t-shirt. Gale waits for me. When I'm done, we both head down the stairs together. We find Prim sitting at the table, eating something, some kind of fruit.

"Ah, who's that woman sleeping on the couch?" Prim asks, smiling. Gale and I both laugh.

"She's Grace. She watches Posy for us." Gale replies. "Where is Pos?" He asks.

"I don't know. I would think… Grace would be the one to know." Prim answers.

Great, while Gale and I were fighting and our careless babysitter was sleeping, Posy most likely is somewhere getting into trouble. Gale must think the same thing. He goes into the living room and I follow. He yanks the covers off of Grace, asking about Posy. She answers the same as Prim, 'I don't know'.

"Posy!?" Gale shouts. But there's no answer. Immediately I can sense Gale panicking, but he calms down almost at the same time. "She's probably at Thom's." Gale says, almost shrugging.

I hold in my laugh. Thom's house is at least a good twenty, thirty minute walk from our house. I can't picture Posy, a four year old making that trip by herself… safely.

"What!?" I ask, half way shouting it. Gale laughs.

"She goes there all the time, to play with Sophie." He replies, grinning. I turn towards him more.

"So you let a four year old walk across the entire seam!?" I shout, petrified that something happened to her.

"Sometimes yes." He answers honestly. I hear Prim laughing in the kitchen.

I just answer with a scowl. Maybe he _won't _make such a great dad, I think to myself jokingly. Gale suggest we head over to get her. Grace bids us a goodbye and sorry, heading out the door and Gale, myself and Prim head out in the opposite direction to get Posy. A short, but somehow tiring(for me) walk, and were there. The door swings open before we can knock, Thom's mother is there, holding Alec like always.

"Looking for Posy?" She asks, eyeing the three of us.

We all nod and she lets us in.

Loud.

It's the only word I can describe what it's like. There's crying from upstairs and I can hear both of the twins arguing down the hallway and Thom's step-father trying stop them.

"Remind us to never have this many kids." Gale says leaning into my with a whisper. I laugh.

Thom's mother yells for Posy and Sophie from upstairs, and a few seconds later, they both fly down them, almost crashing into all of us. I almost go to yell at Posy but Gale must sense it and puts a hand on my shoulder. I guess I shouldn't be surprised at Posy's action, she acts much older then four most of the time. Thom's step-father, calls for Thom's mother, (I can never remember their names) and she hands Alec to Gale, of course Gale winks at me.

"I'll be back in just a moment." She says to Gale and she follows her husband to the porch.

We all head into the living room, the sly grinning twins joining us and so does Thom. Bidding us hellos. Gale of course strikes up conversation about various things. The twins go back to arguing while Sophie watch's laughing at them and Posy keeps playing with Alec who Gale is still holding. Prim sits next to me, and like me, tries to ignore the mess in front of us. Only when Gale nudges my shoulder does he wake me of my thoughts.

"Want to hold him?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. I know exactly what he's trying to do, and he's right.

I nod my head slowly, stretching my arms out for him. Gale hands him to me and I set him in my lap, he lets out a happy scream. It's… strange and scary knowing soon I'll be holding another child, baby. My _own _baby. I hear Gale laugh next to me, most likely at the awkwardness I'm probably showing. I see Gale look around the room and I follow his eyes, everyone's distracted. Thom's trying to stop Simon and Theo from fighting and Sophie has her shirt lifted up, showing Prim something. I laugh quickly at that sight. Posy's still trying to get Alec's attention. Gale leans in to me, whispering his next words.

"Your going to be a great mother." He says, kissing my temple. I smile.

"What?" We both look down at a confused Posy. "Your going to be a mama?" Posy asks me, a bit to loudly for my liking.

"Shh, you can't tell anyone." Gale says quietly to her.

"Kat Kat's pregnant?!" Posy _screams_.

Everyone in the room turns around, including Prim . . . . . . .

* * *

_**CHAPTER 16 PREVIEW: "How will Prim and the others react to the unexpected news? Will Hazel find a home for her and the kids to live in before the baby will come? What will happen when Katniss starts to experience more pregnancy symptoms and more news from her mother about pregnancy? Also what will happen what Katniss's short 'bliss' starts to fade and the hard reality of being pregnant hits again? And what will take place when Prim brings home a mystrious teacher's note from school?" **_


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N - YAY! Trust me... this chapter is MUCH better... and here it is, ready to be read! There's not a whole lot of 'action' but Katniss has a good conversation with her mother in this chapter. I had a little but of a tricky time writing what I thought Mrs. Everdeen would say to her pregnant daughter, but I think I got the words right? Sadly, I did _not _get to squeeze everything in this chapter that I had in the preview from the previous chapter, but those scenes will definitely make it into the next chapter(17). Also, just a note that they will be way more the 23 or 24 chapters in this fanfic then in my other. I'm planning on going through most of Katniss's pregnancy AND this big 'fight/argument' between Katniss and Gale STILL hasn't happened yet! :O**

**Thanks, Firework7, Majelicious and Khayla for reviewing Chapter 16 for me! Khayla- I know exactly what you mean about needing more happiness in the story. First off, I can honestly say there's alot more heartbreak coming AND I'm trying to keep the characters as close as Suzanne Collins wrote them. I can only imagine what Katniss's character would do if she became pregnant like this. That's why I'm having a little bit of trouble with it. To be honest again, I believe if Suzanne Collins was writing this, Katniss would be freaking out ALOT more then I'm making her, personally. But Katniss will have some bliss coming... guaranteed! Again, thanks for your review. Hopefully I helped you understand my writing more ?**

**BIG NEWS: I want to go ahead and 'prewarn' everyone that the week of June 17th through the 21st I will NOT be able to write OR update my fanfic here. I just want everyone to go ahead and know a little ahead of time. ALSO: The remainder of this week AND this coming week(9th through the 13th) I will be _VERY_ busy and I have NO set date on when I can update, I know I can at least once. So really, these next two weeks are... SPENT!**

**Okay, well, now that I have the 'news' out of the way. Now this is just an estimate on when I think I can get Chapter 17 up for you all, right now I'm thinking around either Saturday, Sunday OR Monday. Again, I_ HIGHLY _suggest checking the Facebook page daily, link is on my profile! Well, anyways, keep in mind all that 'news' I gave you and sorry for any delays that will be coming! After the 21st... I have NOTHING! YAY! WRITING, WRITING, WRITING. That's what I'll be doing! Sorry for long AU. Anywho, enjoy Chapter 16 loves! Much, much love - Macayla (Reviews welcomed!)**

*** I unofficially call this chapter: "Unexpected"**

* * *

"Posy! We were just joking!" Prim says, leading Posy out of the room by her arm.

_What? _

I didn't expect myself to say those words, I expected Prim and everyone in the room to. I look at Gale and he seems to have to same confused look as myself. I motion with my head and we both get up, me handing Alec back to Gale and following Prim and Posy into the kitchen. The others stay behind.

"What are you talking about?" I ask Prim. Meanwhile I can hear Thom's parents yelling on the porch.

Prim looks between Gale and myself, wearing the small frown when she knows she's either in trouble or did something wrong. When she was younger it use to be cute, but now the rare things she gets into trouble aren't 'cute'. Prim rarely, never really, gets in trouble, more when she was younger, for writing on the walls, not washing her hands before a meal and so on. Recently their more serious, not telling me where she's going, who she's going with and other things along those lines. Either way, Prim is a good person, respectful and that's one thing I hope never changes about her. I raise my eyebrow at her, demanding an answer.

"Prim?" I exclaim. Her head lowers immediately. Posy stands there with her arms swinging and Alec make's baby talk in Gale's arms.

"I… me and… Mrs. Hazel were… just joking about… you, being pregnant." She looks up at me. "I'm sorry, we were just joking together this morning. I didn't know Posy was listening. I know how you feel about that, I'm sorry if it hur-"

"It's okay, Prim." I say, cutting her off from her apology.

I know that here, right now would be an appropriate time to tell her that sadly I _am _pregnant, that her 'joking' was true. Even though were at someone else's house, we are alone. I hear Gale clearer his throat and the yelling again from Thom's parents. _Not here_. I hear those words in my head. And I agree.

Before Prim, or anyone else can reply back from my comment the front door swings open, revealing Thom's mother and step-father, both looking upset.

"Oh!" She exclaims when she see's us in the kitchen. "Thank you for holding Alec." She says, taking him from Gale's arms. Her husband races down the hallway angrily and she turns her attention toward me. "Don't you hate that when you're husband takes his anger out on you?" She asks me, giving a huff of frustration.

I want to answer, 'no, he doesn't.' but saying that would be a lie, what just happened not twenty minutes ago? Gale took his anger out on me because I got upset with him.

"Yes." I answer back plainly, I see Gale faintly shaking his head. Must not have been the answer he was expecting. "We have to get going now, sorry about Posy's visit." I say, grabbing my game bag from the kitchen counter.

She responds like it was nothing, asking us to stay longer. I bid her an apology but decline the offer, leading Gale, Prim and Posy out the door without saying goodbye to Thom or his siblings. I'll have time to feel bad about that later, all I want to do is take another nap as soon as possible. We head down the seam road and back home with not much conversation. Prim apologizes again, this time to Gale. He shrugs it off, most likely thinking the same thing I thought, it's not a joke anymore.

It's _true_.

Right now, this could be another perfect moment to tell Prim about the baby Gale and I don't want. The only other person here is Posy, and she'll learn soon enough, right? _Not here._ I hear those words yet again in my head. Is it just my nerves, or do I really hear it? Will I ever find the appropriate time to tell Prim? And why I'm I so nervous? I know she'll be ecstatic about becoming an Aunt.

There's something though nagging at the back of my head though, of course Prim will be happy. But Prim has been the center of my universe for the past five years and always will be. When Gale and I married, she didn't say it, but I know she took it harder then she appeared. I wasn't there anymore to wake her up, to walk her to school. Even though I saw her everyday, I didn't see how as much. She adjusted though, but now with moving in with Gale and I, things have quickly resumed back to before. I wake her up again, I walk her to school with my like before, among other old habits. But now, with the baby, a lot more of my time (and Gale's) will be focused on him or her and not Prim. Is that what is keeping me from telling her? Yes, most likely. Prim has a talented way of hiding her emotions from me.

Finally after another long, exhausted walk for me were finally back home. I see Vick and Rory's shoes on the front porch, signaling they must be back. I walk in the house last, dropping my game bag on the floor in front of the door, closing it behind me. I look over to the kitchen table and see the last person I expected to see sitting there,

My mother.

I sigh, remembering our last encounter involved me giving her a disgusted look and storming out of her home.

"Katniss, can we talk." She says. Gale see's this.

"Prim? Could you take Vick, Rory and Pos with you and check on my mother at the Justice Building?" Gale asks Prim who is folding my mother in a hug.

"Sure." She replies, calling for Vick and Rory afterwards. They come and follow Prim to and out the door.

"Straight there and back." I say before the door closes, she responds with a nod.

"Come sit." My mother says, pulling out a chair next to her.

I unwillingly obey. It's not her fault, so why am I so… upset with her? Because she is the one that technically told me I was pregnant? The one that suggested I take the test? But the whole time, she was right. I was indeed pregnant, causing my vomiting. I pull out the chair a bit further and take the seat. Gale sits across from us. I expect my mother to say something to him, asking him to leave for the sake of a private conversation but she doesn't. She only briefly smiles at him, then turns her attention to me.

"Katniss dear, please don't run out like that again. You scared me." She says, calmly.

_I _scared _her_? I've been doing that for as long as I can remember. It use to completely frighten her when my father would take me hunting with him, saying six year olds don't need to learn how to shoot a deadly weapon. And I use to scare her about the things I use to say about the Capitol, very similar to what Gale says. I stopped when she started to yell at me for the things I would say.

"Sorry." I mumble in reply to her comment, staring at a crack in the old wooden table. I feel sadness and fear overwhelm me again, knowing that I'm pregnant.

"I'm sorry it didn't say what you wanted it to. Sometimes the best things in life are unexpected." She replies, taking my hand and squeezing it. I see Gale smile across the table.

Her last words hang in the air, _'Sometimes the best things in life are unexpected'_…..

_Sometimes._

And sometimes is right. This isn't going to be something I'll ever grow largely accustomed to. Of course I'll love my own child, but I won't be 'happy to be a parent' as I've heard before. Everyone says having a baby is the greatest gift in life, I don't see it that way.

My mother must sense something, maybe my lack of words or my stoned expression that must be grazing my face.

"Katniss honey…" She starts, squeezing my hand again. She takes a deep breath before continuing. "When your father and I married, we were only married for two months before I found out I was having you. The news was hard. Your father was a little more excited then I was, taking the news joyfully." My mother says, pausing before her next words. "I on the other hand, wasn't. I was scared Katniss…."

Finally I will myself to look at her. She would still be beautiful in her younger age if it wasn't for the bags under her eyes and the worn expression she gives off from years of working with ill and dieing patients. My mother scared? What's new. I listen though as she continues-

"I was only eighteen, fresh out of school. Because I married you father, I had to move into the seam and out of the town. That completely frightened me too. A new culture, way of living. A new husband, a man to look after. To cook what little we had for him, to clean after him." She laughs quickly. "But then… a new _life_. A baby to take care of. You." She takes a deep breath. "Katniss, when I say that I was scared, I mean I was beyond putrefied. I… I…." She starts to hesitate with her next words, as though second guessing them.

"What?" I ask quietly. I look over at Gale, he seems to be fixed on me more then my mother though.

"I…. I felt, Katniss, as though _death _was the only option." she looks away from me before speaking her next words. "I felt like death was my only option, the only option to rid myself of this… creature inside me and the… depression and…" She stutters to find the right words. "… hatred that I had."

Should I be surprised my own mother was once… suicidal? Absolutely not. I'm surprised she never killed herself when father died, I always thought she would. I almost wanted her to then, one less mouth to feed and the blood wouldn't be on my hands. But I'm glad she never did, not then, and not when she was pregnant… with me. Gale or I don't respond to her, so she continues again-

"But I couldn't bring myself to that Katniss. I couldn't bare the thought the state that would leave your father in. He loved me and the unborn baby… _you_ too much. He would have been heartbroken. And that decision, was one I have and will _not ever _regret. _You _are the _best _thing that ever happened to me, you, your father and your sister. My _family _is the best thing that ever happened." She says, squeezing my hand again and smiling.

I don't take my eyes off of hers, her teary eyes. I see my own reflection in her blue eyes. She was broken, hurt about the news just like I am. I can't necessarily say I've considered death, suicide. But we can both understand getting that news we both so longed to not hear. I'm still unable to speak, what am I supposed to say? Gale doesn't say anything either, obviously feeling speechless like myself. My mother continues yet again-

"I remember, when my stomach first started to grow, when my pants were a little too tight." She says with a laugh, I find myself laughing a bit. "I was terrified, it only confirmed that you were inside me. Soon, as if I thought the whole pants and clothes not fitting thing was enough of a pain, you started to kick." She says smiling wide. "At first it filled me with a fear that is indescribable, I wasn't sure how to take the new feeling. All I knew was it didn't always feel too good." She says, laughing again this time.

I'm still at a lost for words, for right now. Gale doesn't speak up again either, so she goes on-

"I never got quite used to it, your father wouldn't quit holding my stomach to feel you." She says, raising her eyebrows and smirking. I find myself briefly laughing and so does Gale. "Finally, the day came. You were coming rather I liked it or not. We weren't like you. Nether of us had any of our parents, no siblings. No family. We had to do it alone, Katniss. But fourteen hours later, you were here."

She stares at me hard before continuing, I faintly smile.

"It was hell. Getting you out that is." She continues, laughing again. Gale and I join in. "For the first time, in those nine months I felt a peace when I first held you." My mother smiles. "That I knew everything would be alright, that no matter how much I didn't want this before, I had indeed _did _want this. And only hearing your cry could confirm that to me."

I know she's not quite done speaking, so I don't say my new founded words yet.

"It was hard, getting used to the new life. The changes the come with motherhood." She looks at Gale. "Parenthood. But I knew, that I was nothing but selfish and foolish to ever think I wanted to take my life because of you. You truly are the best thing that ever happened." She finishes, smiling wide.

I hadn't realized until now, not until my mother brushes away a loose tear from my cheek that I was crying. I think yet again at her earlier words, '_Sometimes the best things in life are unexpected'_. And maybe she is right, but of course the old thought reappears in my head, threatening to drown myself.

"But what if I can't do this mom?" I ask, sounding helpless. Like a lost child.

"Oh baby…" She starts, squeezing my hand. "You are so, _so_ strong. Stronger then you can fathom. Your so brave. I _know _that you can, sweetie. I was telling myself the same thing, it wasn't until father passed away that I became a different type of mother, one I will _always _regret for becoming. But I know your not like that, Katniss. Your so much stronger then myself, you take after your father in so many ways. Courage. That's what you have." She replies, squeezing my hand again.

"But I'm scared." I say, sounding again helpless. Not looking into her eyes.

"That's expected honey. Even woman who want this are scared. It's a common emotion." She answers.

For the first time in several minutes I bring myself to look into her till teary eyes again. She's far, beyond being perfect, but she's a mother, my mother and knows what to say to her child. This is the first time in five years that I've talked to my mother about something that's either bothering me, worrying me, scaring me… and it feels good. But I still will myself to be nothing like her. Maybe she's right, no she _is _right. I am like my father, and my father would never have left us like she did. I hold on to the brief hope of that thought. If I am like my father, I'll never turn into my mother. I'll continuously repeat those words to myself.

"Thank you. For everything." I say, hugging her.

The embrace is gentle. I close my eyes, basking in the warmth and comfort I feel in my mothers arms. After a few seconds I hear Gale clearer his throat, not out of attention.

"So, ah, how far along would she be?" Gale asks cheerfully, cutting us off from our embrace. I retake my seat, almost scared of her answer.

"Well, when was your last cycle dear?" She asks me, turning her attention from Gale to myself.

I answer it was due last week, having not making an appearance yet. I've been late multiple times before, I never thought nothing about it. My mother asks a few more questions, simple ones, then takes several seconds, muttering words to herself.

"Hmm, well, going off of your cycle and symptoms, morning sickness usually occurs around the fourth week. But keep in mind honey, not one pregnancy is ever the same. Every woman is different, but going on my knowledge, four weeks in." She answers cheerfully. Gale grins widely.

"That long?" I ask, letting the words fall out before I can stop them.

"Oh yes. The first sign of symptoms don't occur until around a month. You most likely conceived on your wedding night." She replies, looking between Gale and I. "That's something special."

Not really, I think to myself. But I try the new positive attitude I've promised myself to put on, hoping I won't fall into the depression like my mother.

For the next ten minutes my mother goes over basic pregnancy stuff with Gale and I. She reminds me I can sill hunt for now, just taking breaks and rests when I need them and no heavy lifting or climbing. She reminds me to drink plenty of water and other things along the same line. Her next words almost make me fall out of my chair-

"Well, that should cover it. Oh! And no rough sex." She says, turning her attention at Gale.

I can't control it, but I start laughing. My mothers tone was completely serious and professional, I know because she's not laughing either, but she must be holding it in. Gale only nods his head. I expect him to turn red of embarrassment, but of course… it's Gale Hawthorn. Of course he's not embarrassed.

"That goes for you too young lady." She says. This time, Gale laughs and I turn red.

She thankfully blows it off and goes to open her mouth to say something, but just then the front door swings open and in comes Mrs. Hazel, Prim and the kids in toe.

"Guess who has a new home!?" Asks Hazel, cheerfully and giddy. It's the first time I've seen her cheerful since her house burned.

"Oh Hazel that's so good!" Exclaims my mother, jumping from the table and folding her into a hug.

"That's great mom!" Says Gale, standing up from the table. I do the same.

"Thanks honey. It's still going to be some time though, the papers won't be able to be signed until next month. Then we'll be able to move in." She looks to Gale and I, "Howdy neighbors!"

Neighbors!? My jaw must drop but the quick expression Hazel gives off. Our house is on the edge of the seam, making the only house next to ours Mrs. Hawks.

"What?" Gale asks, obviously thinking the same thing as myself.

"Oh, yes. I'm not sure what happened to the older gentlemen that lived there, but I assume it's empty now." She answers, shrugging.

Gale turns around and looks at me. There is no way he could have died. Sure, he was well into his elderly years but… no, he couldn't have.

"Did you know him well?" Asks Hazel, to no one in particular.

"Not really." Answers Gale.

After some more brief conversation, my mother leaves, quietly telling me she'll bring me some of the old pregnancy books she lends her patients. I give her a genuine hug, closing the door behind her. The rest of the remaining short evening hours Gale and I help Vick with restarting his science project. I find working on the project soothing, until the thought of my unborn baby growing inside of me.

Tonight.

Tonight could be the night at dinner that Gale and I tell everyone of the news. Thankfully though Hazel has found a home, meaning we won't be crammed into the house with either a new born baby or a fully termed pregnant woman. I motion with my head for Gale to follow me to the porch and he comes willingly.

We talk, for several minutes. Contemplating rather or not to announce it. Mrs. Hazel and Prim will be thrilled, even Posy, but how will Gale's brothers take the news? Vick most likely fine, but what about Rory? We both decide telling each one separate would be better.

That night at dinner it's quite, from Gale and myself. The others laugh and joke about various things. I ignore the conversation about the latest tribute winner, Cato from District two. I have nothing to say about the cruel Hunger Games. I'll never understand why everyone makes a big deal about them, their only feeding into what the Capitol wants.

Finally, as thought it seems like this day would never end, it finally has. I'm remaking Gale's bed on the couch while he bids his mother and brothers goodnight upstairs when I quickly ponder on all what this day entailed. I learned that I was pregnant and Gale and I had our first, real fight since our marriage. But thankfully we recovered.

"Thanks honey."

I turn around and Gale is standing there, smiling.

"No problem." I answer, turning my attention to making my bed on the large arm chair.

He starts to protest, telling me I need to take the couch. But after a quick… 'discussion', I get my way. The chair it is.

"Katniss, that can't be comfortable." He says to me as I tuck the blanket around me in the chair.

"To someone like you it wouldn't. It's comfortable to me." I answer, smiling.

"To someone like me?" He asks jokingly.

"I mean… Gale you know what I mean!" I shout both jokingly and frustrated. All I want is sleep!

"I know." He replies, lying down on the couch. "So what do you think happened to Mr. Hawk?" Gale asks.

"I don't know." Is the only words I can find, they honest though.

Gale doesn't answer so I rest the back of my head against the large, soft chair, closing my eyes. After several minutes of quietness, a thought hits me. Earlier I paid no attention to it, finding it more annoying then funny. But now…

"Gale?" I say through the darkened room.

"What baby?" He responds sleepily.

"Earlier, you called the baby a her." I comment, a smile ceasing on my face.

"I guess I did." He replies through a yawn. "I guess I sort of want a mini you to come home to. What's better then that?" He asks, another yawn.

"What if I want a mini _you_?" I ask, jokingly but yet serious.

"Well…" He cranes his head over the couch to look at me through the darkness. "Sadly, we don't get to choose." He says, grinning.

"No." I reply quietly.

Gale resumes his place on the couch and I shift in the chair, settling in. The room is silent, I speak though again, breaking it of it's peacefulness.

"I want a boy."

The words completely shock myself. I haven't even thought once of what it will be or what I would want it to be. But somehow, my brain has obviously came up with those words, meaning they must be true.

"Why?" He asks, not responding immediately.

"I don't know. I miss you when your at work." I reply. "I'd want something that reminded me of you want you aren't with me." I add. Again, the words coming as a shock and out before I can stop them. I hear Gale laugh briefly.

"I love you." He says.

"I love you too." I respond, yawning myself this time.

Somehow I find sleep immediately, dreaming of our unborn baby. . . . . . .

* * *

_**Chapter 17 Preview: What will happen when Katniss starts to lose the short bliss her mother and Gale gave her about the baby? How will Katniss start acting when she starts to experience other pregnancy symptoms? What will happen when Prim brings home a mysterious, strange note from school? How will Prim and the others take the news about the baby? And what will take place when Katniss takes the "issue" about Mr. Hawk to the Justice Building behind Gale's back? **_


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N - Well howdy, howdy, howdy! I told you I'd be busy this week (and coming week). I am S-O, _SO SORRY _about not getting this chapter up sooner... PLEASE forgive me! But... The long awaited Chapter 17 is here! YAY! And FINALLY! Again, I feel horrible for the long delay, I never like being an author that leaves a story hanging. ALSO: I pretty much didn't get to squeeze any of the preview I gave you from the previous chapter. I can 100 and 10% guarantee you it will be in the next Chapter(18). **

**Also, the story will start to begin.. what's the word... Picking up some. Instead of writing day-by-day like I do most of the time.. I'm going to start to let weeks pass, not right away though.. don't worry! I GOT THIS ;)**

**REMINDER: I will NOT be able to update, write much OR post until next week. I am COMPLETELY busy June 17th through the 22nd! I apologize AGAIN for more delays! I promise, after this it's SUMMER writing for me! :D **

**Anywho, this chapter isn't my best but I tried with having a busy schedule. Again, Chapter 18 will be up next week, I'm estimating it Monday-Tuesday the 23rd-24th. Sorry again! But for now.. ENJOY Chapter 17. You may have to reread Chapter 16. Check the Facebook page for updates. I LOVE reviews! MUCH love - Macayla **

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_Run._

_I'm running. Fast, holding something in my shaky hands. The rain pounds my face, mixing with my sweat and tears. There's others, running alongside me. But where am I running to and why? I follow the mass of people…_

_The mines._

_That's where. Just as the group of people I'm with approaches the mine entrance,_

_An explosion. _

_We can hear it. _

_Then another._

_Suddenly I hear a baby cry, my baby. In my arms. I fall to the ground, _

_screaming Gale's name. _

I wake up screaming. Not Gale's name, but screaming. Opening my eyes doesn't help the darkness, it's not yet morning.

"Gale!?" I say, expecting that my screaming woke him up.

No answer.

I panic.

I shout his name again and still no answer. Squinting through the darkness doesn't help, I get up, easing myself to the couch and feel for him. _Gone._

It was just a dream, Katniss.

It was a dream. It wasn't real. But I need to see Gale, feel him to know it's true. Where in the hell is he? The back of my head nags with the word, 'dead'.

It was just a dream, Katniss. Just a damn dream.

I shout his name yet again, thinking somehow he'll hear me, where ever he is. He always wake's up and comforts me during a nightmare, stroking my hair until I fall back asleep. Nightmares that seem to be more repetitive now of days.

The mines.

He _is _there. But no… it's Sunday. Yes, the mines are open, but only the overtime miners work the weekend shifts. I slowly, and carefully move through the darkness and into the kitchen, searching for the lone candle and matches we leave there every night, incase of emergencies or simply to find the bathroom in the night. After some stumbling, I find the table, stubbing my toe and cursing under my breath.

"Kat?"

I turn around, squinting through the darkness, praying, willing it to be Gale. But it's not, it's Prim. I can see her small frame through the faint moonlight coming in through the window.

"Go back to bed." I answer, a bit to harshly.

"What's wrong?" She asks, calmly and sweetly.

"Nothing Prim! I said go back to bed!" I shout at her, instantly regretting it.

She looks at me… hard. Her innocent eyes staring into my cold ones. Even though I'm upset about my damn nightmare, it's no use taking it out on Prim who did nothing to me. After a few seconds though, she doesn't move or say anything so I decide to finish doing what I was. I turn back around and grab the lone, long white candle from the table, picking up the tiny box of matches. I take one out, scratching it alongside the box, instantly creating a flame. I hold the flame up to the wick, lighting the candle and causing a soft glow to radiate around my vision. As I set the matches back down I notice a note on the table…

Gale's handwriting.

I do my best to ignore my unmoving sister and I pick up the note, it reads 'Catnip' on the top. I carefully but nervously and quickly unfold it-

"_Catnip,_

_Thom came by and told me of an emergency break down somewhere in the mines, He thinks the shaft. Were needed. I'm sorry, I'll be back as soon as I can. Take it easy, remember what your mom said. And please don't go hunting without me, we can go tonight if we have to. I love you._

_Gale."_

"What did mom say?"

I turn around again and Prim is peaking over my shoulder, reading the note.

"I told you to go to bed!" I say, yet again, more harshly then intended. She only stares at me again.

"Are you okay, Kat?" She asks.

I could tell her, that I had a nightmare of Gale being blown to bits and me… a widowed mother, just like our own. But why would I burden Prim, who's only thirteen with things much too hard for her to understand? Besides that would be telling her of the ba-

"Kat?" She asks again, obviously when I don't answer right away. I take a deep breath before answering.

"I'm fine Prim. Please. Go back to bed." I answer, gently.

Yet for a third time she looks hard into my eyes, as if she's trying to see beyond them. Her eyebrows cease and I know what that means. She'll always do that when she's concentrating. Her face hardens and her lips quiver for a split second.

"Love you." She says, turning on her heels toward her bedroom.

I watch her, as her small, dark figure disappears into the darkness and into her bedroom, the door clicking shut behind her. If I hadn't felt as though I was drowning before, I definitely do now. Now I long for Gale more. I hold on tight to the candle and note in each hand, this time, being careful where I step. I slowly make my way back into the living room, this time sitting down on Gale's bed, the couch. I place the candle on a little stand on the table next to the couch, afterwards laying down and pulling the covers around me, the note clutched like a lifeline in my hand. I bring some of the covers to my noise. They smell like Gale. There's nothing more I want right now then him, to wake me of this nightmare that seems so overly real. I need him to tell me it's not real. To prove it to me. To prove that it won't ever happen. We had this conversation once, when I first started having these terrible nightmares of Gale dieing, just like our fathers.

We had only been married for one week, exactly when I first had one. It was horrible. Nightmares weren't new to me, even of ones similar. But I had gotten use to the ones of my fathers death, I learned how to deal with them. Teaching myself not to scream, only to clutch my hands into fists on behalf of not waking and continuing to scare my innocent little sister. When I first had the dream, it was the same, only replacing my father with Gale, and my mother with myself. It scared Gale nearly to death. Not the dream, but his screaming, wailing wife next to him. But of course, he was there. Telling me it was only a dream, that everything was fine, and it wasn't real. That night I told him, it could have been. That it can happen. His only reply was 'It could happen to anyone'. I fell back asleep, continuing to have the same dreams. Now my unborn baby is thrown into my nightmares.

"Katniss?"

I sit up slightly…

Gale.

I start to get up, trying desperately to throw the covers off, but I can't. His strong hands are pushing me back down.

"Gal-"

"Shh." He says, not letting me protest.

But I obey, letting his hands gently push me back. _His _hands that are _real_. He carefully undoes the note, now crumpled from my hand, throwing it to the ground. Then he begins to wipe something from my cheeks, tears. I hadn't known I was crying.

"Bad dream?" He asks, almost in a whisper. I stare into his face, a face that is beautiful but yet so strong. The light is however dim, the candle losing it's flame.

I nod my head yes for an answer. He lifts my shoulder, scooting me more into a sitting position and takes a seat behind me. Bringing me back down to rest on his chest, his legs on either side of me. He starts massaging my shoulders.

"Gale it was horrible!" I say through a choked voice. His hands making soothing circles on my shoulders calm me of sorts.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks. His voice seems gentle enough to calm rough waters but yet so powerful to me.

I shake my head 'no' in reply. Yes, sometimes talking about them calms me but Gale should not know our own child is now in these horrible dreams. Somehow I fall back sleep while Gale whispers soothing words to me. No dreams haunt me.

XX

"Kat Kat! Wake up!"

Through my closed eyelids I feel a heavy pressure on my stomach. I open my eyes to find Posy on top of me, her head inches from mine.

"Good morning Pos." I reply, coughing.

I had almost forgot I fell asleep on Gale until I hear him yawn behind me. I can tell immediately from Posy's look she's in one of her 'hyper moods'.

"Gale Gale's? Can we go to the lake!?" She asks, bouncing up and down on my stomach.

"Don't do that Pos. Your hurt her!" Says Gale panicky.

I'm not sure if Gale meant 'her' as in me or the baby. But I agree, she most likely shouldn't be doing that. She listens immediately and stops.

"No lake today princess. I'm tired." He replies to Posy. Her face hardens and saddens.

"I'll take you." I say to her, hoping a trip to the lake will stop the though of that nightmare that still seems to haunt me.

Gale of course starts to protest, but again, after a quick 'conversation' in which Posy remains part of, I win. A trip to the lake it is. It seems as though all at once everyone wakes. Gale tells everyone of our trip and everyone's in on it. Hazel immediately starts on breakfast in the kitchen, reminding Gale and I to hunt while were out. As I'm leaving the kitchen and up the stairs I run into a sleepily Prim. I apologize but she shrugs it off, acting like it never happened. It's another positive feature Prim has and I lack. Forgiveness.

Gale and I head up the stairs together, both changing into something more suitable for swimming. A tank top and shorts for me. Gale speaks above the loud talking and clanking from downstairs-

"I don't know what were going to do with you when you start to show." He says, grinning while taking a seat on the bed.

His words hit me as I pull the tank top over my head and past my stomach. It _will_ grow… and I know I'll be miserable. 'I don't want this. I don't.' but thinking of those words which seem to be so repetitive in my head will do nothing. It can't reverse it. Maybe I will be an alright mother. Will I every learn to enjoy motherhood? Absolutely not. But I of course will look forward to my child. I make a decision, right here and now to quite my job once the baby is here. It's not like it brings in much money, nothing really. If we didn't hunt that would be different, but we do. I don't want my child to have to be raised like I was, with only seeing my parents on the weekends. Yes, my mother was always home but she was always assisting patients. I want my baby to have his mother there, whenever he needs me. Another thought hits me and I tell Gale it before I can respond to it myself-

"Gale, I want to quit my job."

I almost clap my hand over my mouth, but thankfully I don't. Of course I do in nine months, but why would I say something like that now? Without telling Gale the latter? I have no excuse to quit it now. I do somewhat enjoy my work. Gale looks at me hard, leaning back on his elbows on the bed. His legs hanging off.

"Alright." He answers, not smiling but shrugging. "But don't do this for me." He adds after a few seconds, dropping his gaze.

I slowly walk, taking a seat next to him on the end of the bed. My weight making him bounce, causing his attention toward me.

"Why would I do it for you?" I ask gently. Curious for the answer.

It is true that most woman (but not all) that work are either unmarried or windowed. Of course my mother worked while she was married, but she worked much harder and busier after fathers death.

"Because. We please each other. We do the things the are best for not just ourselves, but for the people around us." He answers. "Katniss, just because were going to be parents doesn't mean we have to quit everything we do. To stop being the people that we are." He adds.

He's of course right, absolutely right. But having a child means we have to put him or her first, and not ourselves.

"I know Gale. I just want to be here for it." I say.

For the first time since I've heard about my pregnancy yesterday, I allow my hand to travel to my stomach. Resting gently on my abdomen. Gale smiles when he see's this, I hold in mine though.

"I know you do baby. And if that's what you want… it's fine with me." He responds.

I know when Gale treats me like this that I don't deserve it. I'm too much of a bitter person to be treated so fairly by someone like Gale. Someone who cares about his family too much to care what others think of his actions.

Finally I release my smile, whereas Gale most likely thinks it's because I got my way (again), but it's not. I stand up, sitting back down on Gale's lap who's still leaning back on his arms. I swing each of my legs on either side of him. He raises his eyebrow-

"Hmm.." He wraps his arms around my waist, letting his head drop on the bed. "So I give you what you want and I get this in return." He says jokingly.

I start laughing at his comment and his laughter follows. I would love nothing more the to give him what he (and myself) wants right now. I lean down, resting my chest on to his, placing my arms above his head. Our lips crash together passionately.

A hungry kiss.

The kind of kiss I quickly learned that meant more. It's not the kind of kiss you give to someone who's saying goodbye, but to someone who's saying hello. A different kind of hello. As soon as my lips find Gale's neck and his hands find my butt were interrupted by the sound of three things. Glass breaking. Posy's cheerful scream. And a knock at the front door. Gale and I both sigh in unison. Would five more minutes be to hard to ask for?

"Katniss!?"

I hear Rory scream from downstairs. Gale sits up, causing me to stand but he remains seated.

"Looks like your needed." Gale says causally.

"Oh, your going to pretty boy." I answer, pulling at both of his hands.

He sighs again but obeys. As were walking down the stairs together I try to figure out who it could be, someone obviously for me. Then I remember, my mother said she would drop by again. As soon as my feet hit the last stair I am sadly mistaken. Instead of my mother I'm greeted by a giddy Madge Undersee.

"Hello Katniss!" She exclaims.

For the past four or five weeks I've barley had time for any of the few 'friends' I had/have. I haven't missed Madge all that much though. She's alright, but she's not my favorite person. Especially when she said those hatful things about Gale.

I look at her now, always being more beautiful then me. She wears a bright (which anything bright in twelve is rare) yellow dress, missing the usual 'District 12 worn look'. Her hair falls in tight, blond curls at her shoulders. The sides pulled back by a white ribbon. I've thought recently Gale deserves someone who looks like Madge. Beautiful… girly. Nice (for the most part). I guess I've somewhat envied her, I'm not sure why though. Dress's and ribbons aren't partially my thing. I'm knocked back into my senses when I feel Gale nudge my shoulder-

"Hi." I choke out.

"I wanted to see if you had plans today. The wrestling team is practicing!" She says, cheerful and annoying as ever.

"Were going to th-!" Posy pipes up behind Madge.

"Were going to the hob. We do have plans, sorry." Gale finishes Posy's sentence from behind me.

It's true that she knows we hunt, but knowing we make 'fun trips' out of the woods too, might not be a smart idea. After some short and completely boring conversation she finally leaves.

"Thought she'd never leave." Gale says from behind me while I help Hazel pack a small lunch to bring. I only laugh at his comment, although I agree.

After a short and none-filling breakfast. The six of us head out, with a the lunch and swim gear in hand. Hazel insisted in staying back, complaining of the far walk. The walk does seem like forever (for me), but after crawling under the fence and a good twenty minute walk (with Posy complaining the whole time) we finally make it. Gale and I don't even have time to set the blanket down before Prim, Rory and Vick dive in. Posy walk's around the edge, trying to find a shallow spot.

"Gale go help her!" I say, laughing almost at Posy's confused reaction and her disappointed reaction at the sight of her brothers and Prim leaving her far behind.

Gale doesn't answer right away, only looks to the semi-laid out blanket and back to me, mostly my stomach.

"I'm fine Gale! Go!" I shout, hitting him with a towel.

He laughs but strips his shirt off, running and jumping into the water with Posy. At first she screams, but then cheerful laughter follows with Gale's. My back is turned but I listen to the sound. That sound. The laughter of a child and man. Brother and Sister. Daughter and Father. That can be, no, will be Gale in a few years. Laughing with his own child… our child. I oddly find myself smiling.

'_Sometimes the best things in life are unexpected'_

I hold on to that brief glimpse of sunrise from what seems like such a storm.

"Katniss? Do you need help?"

I turn around to see a smiling Prim, shinning with water from the lake. It's amazing how much she resembles our mother.

"No. I've got it." I reply, setting down the last blanket and piling the clean towels together. I throw one to her.

I follow with her sitting on the blanket. I hadn't realized that I'm nearly winded. I'm not sure if it was the walk or the work of setting up blankets that did me in. I find myself wanting to do nothing more but to take a nap yet again.

"Katniss?" I hear Prim speak above my thoughts.

"Hmm?" I reply, laying down on my back and enjoying the cool breeze from the shade.

"You haven't seemed like yourself." She replies, quietly and sweetly.

"I said I was sorry for yelling at you last nigh-"

"I'm not talking just about last night. I'm talking about all day yesterday. You know you can talk to me Katniss." She says, folding her arms together.

Gale and I agreed to do this together, to be by each other's side when we tell our siblings. But right now is the perfect time. No one's near us, and the only sounds are those of laugher and bird singing in the distance.

"Prim.." I begin, sitting up and taking her small hand into mine. Hands already scared from needles and mashing herbs.

As soon as I start, I stop. How in the hell am I supposed to tell Prim this?

"What Kat?" She says gently.

"Prim…" I start to stutter. Why can't I just say it? Why am I so nervous.

Is it because _I _have to say those words? To only confirm it to myself. It's one thing being said to, but it's another when saying those words. I take a deep breath, the words flow out before I can stop them….

"I'm pregnant Prim." . . . . . . . . . . . .

* * *

**_Chapter 18 Preview:_ _How will Prim respond to the news? Will she take the news as Katniss expected or will it shock her? How will Katniss start acting when she starts to experience other pregnancy symptoms? What will happen when Prim brings home a mysterious, strange note from school? And what will take place when Katniss takes the "issue" about Mr. Hawk to the Justice Building behind Gale's back?_**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N - WHEW! IT'S HERE! And... It's a LONG Chapter! Hopefully not too long for all my wonderful readers, but you guys deserve a lengthy Chapter! I have been BEYOND busy, staying busy is an understatement, but after this week things will finally be settling down! Thank's everyone for the reviews on my previous Chapter(17)! I LOVE each and every one! **

**My writing schedule should be back on mostly normal, I may have a small vacation coming up but nothing's official so I'm not worried about that right now. ****I DEEPLY apologize for TWO things... All these delays these past two weeks AND ANY grammar/spelling mistakes with this Chapter(18), I haven't got much time to reread it and change errors, Forgive me for both please! **

**Anywho, I REALLY hope you enjoy this nice long Chapter (over 5,000 words!)! Also, I added a nice little ";)" scene between Gale and Katniss for you all, I needed to see that between them... I let my fingers so wild there! (So you have been warned to my readers who don't like to read that.****) Well, I am planning right now to upload Chapter 19 either Saturday OR Sunday... Most likely Sunday afternoon/evening (U.S. EST.). Check the Facebook page for any updates and special previews. ENJOY! YOU DESERVE IT! I L-O-V-E Reviews.. They keep me going! Much, much love - Macayla**

* * *

Confusion. Shock.

Those emotions immediately appear on her face. She opens her mouth, but closes it. Seconds are ticking by with only a plain, unmoving emotion. Is she upset? I'm almost positive she is now. She goes to open her mouth again, only closing it… this time replacing it with a….

Smile.

A grin. I find myself grinning too. A mad or angry person doesn't smile.

She's happy.

I wish only she would confirm it to me.

"Prim?" I say through my own grin, getting her attention.

"I'm going to be an Aunt!" She shouts, a bit to loudly.

"Sh! Not everyone knows yet." I say quietly. She immediately jumps at my words, giggling to herself.

I look up to the tree line above, just in time to see a lone Mockingjay land on a branch. A Mockingjay by itself is rare, they always fly with a mate. I go to open my mouth, to whistle an old four note as Prim giggles at her mistake, before I do though, the bird beats me to it. Singing the note I was just about to whistle. My mouth must drop open, Prim stops giggling immediately, looking at me with concern. She follows my gaze up to the bird, starring in amazement like myself. I haven't whistled that note at least shortly after Father's death. Prim smiles again, my own to follow… listening to the old note.

"It's Dad." Prim says gently, dropping her gaze from the bird to me. "He's proud of you."

"For getting knocked up?" I joke, smiling wider, knowing Prim is right. That bird. It's Father.

"No. For the person you are. Strong. Brave." She responds, whispering the words gently, as though not to disturb the bird.

"How am I brave Prim?" I ask, starring at the beak of the bird as he sings the beautiful note over and over.

"Look at you. Look around Katniss. Look at what you just told me. You took care of me when I was doomed for the Orphanage. You kept Mom alive when she was dead." She laughs a little before her next words. "You kept yourself alive when you were easily as dead as Dad! And you recovered. You met Gale. You learned how to survive with him, taking care of all of us." She says, indicating with her hand to the group of giggling people in the Lake. "Then you married him…" She adds, pointing to Gale.

I follow to where her finger is pointing to. He stands there in the lake, at waist deep water with a laughing Posy on his shoulders, trying to tickle her. I smile again. Posy's laughter intertwines with the birds song.

"… and now. Now your having a baby. You haven't let the death of our Father, Katniss stop you. Yes, it's slowed you down. But that…" She points to the bird. "That's Dad. That's why he's proud of you." She finishes, squeezing my hand.

Prim of course and most certainly is right, but why would she tell me this? I only told her of my pregnancy. I voice the question to her with a smile.

"Why are you telling me this now Prim?" I ask, gently. She laughs silently.

"Because I thought you should know. I've been meaning to tell you that for a long time, and I thought now, with the bird and the amazing, wonderful news that now would be the time." She answers.

Prim. She's wise beyond her years. Too wise. Too big.

"Your not my _Little_ Duck anymore are you?" I ask, grinning and speaking honestly. She's not the starving, helpless, fatherless seven year old anymore.

"I'll always be your Little Duck." Prim answers, pulling me into a hug and resting her head on my shoulder.

"Yes. Yes you will." I respond, closing my eyes and pulling her more against me.

"I'm so happy for you and Gale! Does he know yet?" She asks.

"Know what?"

I look up just in time to see the words flow right out of Gales mouth. I hadn't truly even thought of how he'd feel about me not waiting for him. I feel an uncomfortable chill run through me. Gale doesn't hold back his emotions much, epically not angry emotions. The bird stops singing and fly's away. What could that mean?

"Know what?" Gale asks again, pressing harder for an answer but not harshly… yet. I sit up more, untangling me and Prim from our embrace.

"About…" I stutter for a second. "The baby." I blurt out, avoiding eye contact. I brace myself for Gale's next, expected emotions.

"Oh." He answers flatly, taking a seat on the other side of Prim. "Excited?" He asks her.

I would say Gale did not get angry and decided to blow it off, but I'm sure he is though. Only keeping it hidden for now for the sake of my sisters presence.

Gale and Prim make small talk about the baby for the next minute or two, I will myself out of the conversations, having not even thought of half the stuff Prim is bringing up. Like…

Names.

Prim turns her attention to me about the subject first, I only answer with a shake of my head and a shrug of my shoulders. But when she asks Gale, that's when she gets my attention-

"What about you?" She asks him, innocently. It's amazing how she can change her tones to sound like a fifty year old, educated woman to a simple five year old asking her mother for a piece of candy.

Gale laughs slightly at her question, dropping his gaze to the piece of grass he's fiddling with in his hands.

"I don't know Primmy." He takes a deep breath before his next words, pausing as though to second guess speaking his idea. "Amethyst. I like that name for a girl." He answers, appearing nearly cold as he drops his gaze again to the piece of grass, twisting it almost angrily.

Angry?

Why would Gale be angry at _his _own words. Something about his tone, expression and emotion doesn't add up to me. But with Prim still present, now is not the time to mention anything. Of course, Prim doesn't catch it and continues-

"I like it! What about a boy?" She asks giddily, bringing some type of color back into Gale's face. He looks up and grins at her.

"A boy?" He questions.

"Yeah, you know, the opposite gender?" She jokes, laughing to herself. "You either get one of the two!" She adds, holding out both her hands. I join Gale in laughing.

"No. It's a girl. I know it." Gale answers, folding his arms.

For the next minute (which seems longer) they jokingly go back and forth between Gale thinking it's a girl and Prim telling him there's no way to be certain. I hold in my laugh until Prim try's her next tactic to make her point. She jumps up, starling both Gale and I-

"Gale!" She shouts "It's an embryo, it doesn't even have it's…" She stutters for a second, stretching the top of her head. "It's…parts!" She shouts again, more serious then ever.

Gale and I laugh in unison, starring at the serious but yet funny thirteen year old before us, trying nothing more then to disprove Gale. Although I agree with her, I still finding myself mimicking Gale's uncontrollable laughter.

"Alright, alright. Your right. But I got a feeling it's a girl!" Gale responds, Prim goes to open her mouth but he cuts her off. "Hey! You weren't there for this child's making…"

"And thank God for that!" She says, this time cutting him off, she runs off and dives into the lake before he can respond.

"She's toughie." Gale says in a whisper like tone, speaking more to himself then to me. I grin.

"Are you mad?" I ask, hoping… praying he's not.

"No." He answers immediately, turning his attention to me instead of the lake. "I, ah… was hoping you weren't mad at me." He says, stretching over the edge of the blanket and picking a new blade of grass.

"Why would _I _be mad?" I ask him, confused and honestly. He laughs gently, a deep, hearty laugh. He doesn't stop though. "Gale!?" I shout, finding myself grinning.

"I ah, kind of got ahead of myself and told Rory and Vick…" He answers, leaning back on his elbows.

"Without me!?" I shout, anger slowly rising.

Wait.

Didn't I do the same thing to him? Telling Prim about the baby but not waiting to tell her with him like we both promised? I wish I could take my words back… at least my tone.

"Yes. I'm sorry, I hope your not mad." He says, pouting out his bottom lip, obviously hiding his grin.

"No, I'm not mad." I answer, rolling my eyes at Gale's face.

"Alright, good!" He comments, leaning back on his back and grabbing me by the arm, pulling me down on top of him.

I ask Gale how his brothers took the news, Vick of course happily and similar to Prim's reaction, but it's Rory's reaction that catches me a bit off my guard. We both agreed he'd be the one that's… 'bothered' by the news, as he's the one that's always closest to Gale. He say's he responded by more or less blowing it off, joking that he finally got my 'clothes off'. I roll my eyes when Gale tells me this.

"And Prim's the toughie?" I joke. We both laugh in unison again.

I lie there, with my head on Gale's bare chest while his hands fiddle in my unbraided hair. The mixture of birds singing, children's distant laughter, the sound of the wind rustling through the trees and Gale's slow, steady, strong heartbeat nearly rock me to sleep. But Gale speaks when I just begin to drift off, his voice silently startles me-

"Something's bothering me." He says flatly.

We both agreed, in the dark, brief night before our wedding that we'd _never _go to bed with something bothering us… little or big. Especially if it was between the two of us. Even though it's not 'bed time' (not even 'lunch time') it doesn't matter. I lift my head up, scooting my arm under me for support.

"What is it hon?" I ask gently, moving my free hand to his hair, brushing away a lose piece from his forehead.

"It's… it's about Mr. Hawk. I know it's stupid Katniss, to let it 'bother me', but it is." He answers, taking a deep breath after his words. Starring into the tree line above.

"Gale, it's not stupid! It has me a little bothered too." I respond honestly.

"If it bothered you why didn't you tell me?" He snaps back, a little too harshly for my liking. I remember that's he's upset though, and seeking me out for comfort.

"I guess just not that bad." I answer sweetly while gently twisting my fingers in his hair. It seems to calm him of some sorts. "Look…" I begin, sitting up a bit more. "I'll go to the Justice Building first thing after work tomorrow, I'll ask the Mayor. Alright?" I offer, hoping to ease him of his bothering.

"No. I don't want you asking anyone there." He says.

"Why?" I ask, more harshly then I intended. He sits up, causing me of course to sit up with him.

"Because, that man has… had close ties with the Capitol. I don't want you going and asking anyone with big authority about him. It's just not safe for you, Katniss." He answers, defending his argument.

"Why?" I protest again, the words almost catching in my throat.

"I just told you! Sorry but your _not _going!" He answers, folding his arms over his knees.

"But I want to fix this Gale! Your bothered!" I protest again, trying my best to keep my voice down.

"So. You can't fix everything about me Catnip." He answers again, trying to hide his slowly raising anger.

"Then why'd you even mention it to me then?" I ask, anger clearly showing in my voice.

"Because! You know why!" He shouts, slowly losing his patience with me. Obviously mentioning that agreement. I must make some type of face though- "You can scold at me all you want. I love you and your not going. That's final." He says sternly.

And with that he gets up, walking the short distance to the lake and joining the others in the water. I take a deep, angrily breath. My jaw clenches up before I can stop it.

The rest of the mid morning is nothing more then me watching the others swim. I find myself using our 'bathroom bush' more then one time… all in a ten minute time span. I find myself more angry then ever, plopping myself back onto the blanket after a third bathroom trip. I mumble something to myself, but I don't even catch my own words.

After another few minutes they other's join me on the blanket for our small, (again) unfilling lunch. By the grace of my dead Father no one mentions anything about the baby or anything remarkably close to it. I sense Gale's eye's on my a lot, but I'm careful to avoid them. Also avoiding much conversation. Fifteen minutes later lunch is done. Gale goes off to hunt some while the others swim. I lean back on the blanket, somehow finding a dreamless nap.

I wake up (and sit up) just in time to see Gale coming through the bushes, his game bag full. He calls for the others, mentioning it's getting late. I look up to the bit of sun coming through the tree line, judging it around two o'clock.

"Nice nap?" Gale asks me nicely while throwing our wet sibling's towels. I only answer with a shake of my head.

We pack up. Throwing all the lose items back into the basket. Gale takes Posy by the legs, throwing her over his shoulder last, causing her to laugh hysterically. I only smile, feeling only some what refreshed after the nap.

I stagger behind the others, listening to Posy's story of how she killed the 'Sea Monster'. I watch from behind as Gale asks her questions about it, making it sound more fascinating then it is. Again, I'm reminded of our child growing inside me, realizing that will be Gale with his child and not his sister anymore. Is that why Gale wants a girl so bad? Because she would remind him of Posy? I shake my head quickly at the though, does it even matter anyways?

The remaining bit of afternoon I help Gale skin the game in the kitchen of our home. He apologizes for his actions but explains it's for my own good, thanking me for the offer to ask though. I accept it, voicing it to him, but still the mystery of 'Mr. Hawk' has me bothered too.

Could I?

Could I still go even though Gale asked me not to? But I'd be disobeying my own husband. That's not what a good wife should do. I feel as though I have the 'good option' and the 'bad option' weighing on each of my shoulders. Thankfully Gale doesn't read my emotions as I accidentally skin the rabbit to deep, causing a gashing hole in the meat.

"Why don't you go wash up before dinner?"

Is his only response to my doings. I take up his offer though, quietly walking up the stairs and washing quickly. Pulling on my nightgown and braiding my hair.

At dinner it's quite, I'm reminded that Hazel (and Posy) are still yet to know of the fetus growing inside me. Should I make some type of face, telling Gale now's the time? Kick him under the table? Yes I'm not quit as upset with him anymore, but maybe now wouldn't be the best time. I sigh… wondering if I'll ever find that perfect time.

Gale and I clean dinner up as the others, Hazel, the boys, Posy and Prim bid us goodnights. Going off into the assigned bedrooms. I would love nothing more then to have my own bed back right about now. I'm leaning over the sink, scrubbing a pot clean when I feel Gale's hands on my shoulders from behind. Making small circle's with his thumbs at the base of my neck. I can't decide if the warm chill is from the pleasurable feeling or simply the touch of my husband. Both most likely.

"Does that feel good?" Gale asks me, almost hissing the words in my ear. Just the right hint of seductiveness showing.

I answer with a slight moan. Gale does this while I finish the pot, pressing down gently, hitting the right nerves at times… causing the warm feeling to tingle down past my stomach. I have an odd ach for Gale's hands to be on other places of my body. I'm drying the clean pot when Gale does just that. Scratching his nails gently down my back through my thin, black nightgown. I grip the counter for support as my eyes manually shut. I moan more loudly then intended. It only seems to egg Gale on more as he brings his hands up my side, squeezing softly.

He must notice I've finished the dishes… He gently brings his hands to in front of me, resting then sweetly on my stomach.

"Show me where you want my hands." He hisses in my ear.

I swallow hard at his words. We've never done something like this, asking a question like this sort… epically not out of the blue.

Where _do _I want Gale's hands?

I reclose my eyes, imagining his strong, hands (and fingers) anywhere on my body. Sexual fantasies isn't something I have too often, not ever. But I paint a clearer picture in my head, taking myself by surprise.

"Show me." He adds after a few seconds.

I swallow hard again as I move both my hands over his, but I pause, unmoving.

"Don't be afraid." He tells me.

I swallow yet again, managing a small laugh from Gale. But his words click inside me, doing me in. Giving me that extra bit of courage I needed. I grip both of his hands tightly, letting my own make destinations of their own. I slowly, at a snails pace, guide one of Gale's hands up the rest of my stomach, resting it on top of one of my breast.

"Good choice." He says, afterwards planting small kisses on my neck and shoulder.

His hand slowly and romantically caresses my breast, and I'm reminded of the remaining hand left on my stomach still. Gale flinches it slightly, getting my attention to it. I 're-look' at the picture I had painted in my head, nearly knocking the wind out of me. I contemplate it… for several seconds before making my decision. I decide to screw being a baby… I grip Gale's hand even tighter as I guide it to the exact spot I want it. I slowly(again) guide it below my stomach, trailing it down to where I want his fingers to be more then his hand. It rest on the exact spot, but fabric is in between.

I sigh, realizing how I could have made it a lot more romantic. It doesn't take him back though, his hand takes a mind of it's own, going to the hem of my nightgown that sits well above my knees, and brings his hand under it and up. He gently pushes my underwear to one side as he pushes two fingers into me… hard. I cry out, gripping the counter again, turning my knuckles white. I continue to moan as Gale finds a nice little rhythm, nearly sending me over the edge immediately. I begin to rock my hips in unison, wanting nothing more then to find a sweet release. Between Gale's fingers in me, his hand on my chest and his lips kissing my neck, I'm surprised I've managed to not come yet. A minute or so much tick by before I feel almost there, right as I'm about to tell Gale this…

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Damn it!"

I let out before I can stop it. Of course Gale turns his attention to the person behind the front door, pulling his fingers out of me and removing his other hand as well. Gale kisses my neck one last time, telling me he'll be back… seductively. From where I'm at in the kitchen, I can of course see the door perfectly. So I watch as Gale strides over, only peaking the door open. I watch as Gale squints at the person on the other side, hidden from my view. He must know who it is, he opens the door wider and says-

"Mrs. Everdeen."

My mom.

I sigh angrily, realizing it was her that ruined the moment between Gale and I.

"Hello Hon, I know it's late but I forgot to bring these books by today for Katniss. Could I leave them with you for her?" My mother asks sweetly, obviously not seeing me standing in the kitchen. I had forgot myself about the pregnancy books.

Gale answers yes, taking the books and bidding each other goodnight, but before she leaves, as she's walking off, she stops (out of my view now)-

"Gale?" She says.

"Yes mam?" He responds.

"Take care of Katniss through this all, I'm worried about her." She sighs before her next words. "You heard my story… I don't want her to end up like me." She steps closer to the door again, making visible just her shadow to me. "Her father was the only one to keep me sane. She needs you Gale, she needs you now more then ever. She loves you so much."

Gale stutters for a second, clearly searching for the right words to her comment. I find myself too unspeakable. So my mother adds-

"Goodnight sweetheart." And with that, she walks off.

I'd laugh at the fact my mother called someone like Gale (tall, strong and looks like a thirty year old man) sweetheart if it wasn't for such a tender moment. My mother is right, I do love Gale… something I tried denying to myself.

Gale shuts the door, slowly and quietly before turning around and setting the books on the counter. He walks back over to me, our eyes locked on each other, and stands in front of me.

"I'll always be here for you Katniss." He says, showing me a softer side of Gale I don't see to often.

"I know." I answer, smiling.

I take both his hands in mine, and stand on my tip toes, letting our lips meet in a kiss that sends shivers down my spine.

That night we retire to our make shift bedroom and finish what we started(plus more).

XX

_Bang._

I'm jolted from my dreamless sleep my the early morning light hitting my face. But what the hell was that noise. I look over to the couch, of course Gale is gone… it's Monday, he has work.

_Work!_

"Damn it!"

I say loudly, forgetting that I myself have my own work, as well as getting Prim to school.

_Bang._

I hear the damn sound again. It appears to be coming from outside, rather then in the house. But judging from the light coming in, I know I'm already late for work at the school. I jump up, throwing the covers off of my and to the floor, running over to Prim's bedroom, throwing the door open.

"Up Prim! School!" I shout, she answers with a wave of her hand.

I run up the stairs and into the bedroom, trying my best to be quit for the sake of Hazel.

"Come on boys, school!" I whisper, shaking both of them.

Vick springs up, nearly knocking me to the ground.

"Are we late? I can't be late! I have an exam!" Vick shouts, rousing Hazel.

He doesn't give me time to answer as he runs past me, violently throwing clothes from his suitcase. Rory gets up slowly, yawning as he walks into the bathroom. I shake my head and jog over to the dress, frantically ripping my nightgown off (un caring about the eyes around) and pull on a pair of black, Capri pants and a teal mid-sleeve top. I quickly fasten the necklace my mother gave me on my wedding day, hoping to add some type of normalcy to my most likely chaotic look. I use the stand-alone mirror and unbraid my hair, quickly combing it through with my fingers.

"Hurry up boys!" I yell.

I fly down the stairs, only imagining the wrath I'll get from Principle Maddox. I run into the kitchen, joining a ready-to-go Prim as she searches the brown paper bags for her lunch, I quickly help her, finding the right one. Right as the boys are coming down the stairs, and I'm pulling on my game bag and checking for my music sheets I feel…

Nauseous.

Enough where it must show.

"It's okay Katniss, just breath through it." Prim tells me, rubbing small circles at the bottom of my back.

I shake my head in answer, closing my eyes. After a few seconds it fades away and I practically push everyone out the door and down the seam road.

By saying we make it to school by a land slide would be an understatement. I quickly run into my classroom, thankful for the extra two hours I have before my first class.

XX

We finish lunch. I walk back into my classroom to finish the remaining thirty minutes I have with my youngest grades. They pick up easily the tune I play on the piano, and I contemplate telling them of the Harvest Festival idea. We must not be back in the classroom for ten minutes before the door swings violently open.

"Class dismissed early!" Shouts a stocky built woman from the doorway, looking between myself and the teachers.

I shake my head in answer but something doesn't strike me well about her appearance. Not that I haven't seen the woman before, I have once, I know she's the Principle's assistant, but it's her attitude and her swaying from foot to foot. The children get up, following their teachers out the door. I go to call for the woman, to ask her what is going on but before I can, she runs out the door, her heels clicking down the hallway. I hear her swing open the classroom door beside us, shouting the same thing.

I quickly shake my head, thinking no more of the situation but only being grateful for the extra twenty minutes I'll have at home. I grab my game bag, swinging it over my shoulder, joining the other parents in the hallways, searching for their children. I find Prim in her classroom, gathering her bag and books. She asks me why were let out early, but I only answer with a shrug of my shoulders. We collect Vick and Rory from the other side of the school and slowly make our way down several hallways, heading toward the exit.

"Oh, this note if for you." Prim tells me as were going down the second story stairs.

She pulls out a little yellow folded not, handing it to my with a confident smile on her face.

"Did you get in trouble?" I ask jokingly, knowing Prim never gets 'trouble notes' as we call them.

"Just open it!" She shouts, skipping stairs and getting ahead of myself.

I open it, slowly myself down from walking. I begin to read it-

_Dear Parent(s)/Guardian,-_

I stop there, thinking this is meant for mom and not myself. But then I remember, shortly after our mother went into her haze, I switched myself over as her legal guardian instead of my mother… never switching her back. I continue to read, starting over-

_Dear Parent(s)/Guardian(s),_

_We would like to inform you that your child, _Primrose Everdeen, _has made excellent grades and attendance through this year. She/He has made District 12 Community School Honor Roll. With that, on behalf of the Honor Roll students, a special field trip has been planned. We ask that all legal Parent(s)/Guardian(s) be present for the meeting on the 12__th__ of September in the gathering hall for more information. Please don't let your child miss out on this amazing opportunity. _

_Thank you,_

_Principle Maddox_

"What do you think?" Prim asks me giddily as she hold's the front door of the school open for me and the boys.

"Oh Prim I'm so proud of you!" I answer honestly, knowing how much she deserves this.

Prim always keeps up good grades and only misses school if she's sick… and that's death door sick. I _am _proud of Prim… but something scratches at the back of my head, sending an odd, uncomfortable feel about this note, about this 'field trip'. I am familiar with this 'Honor Roll', I of course though, never made it on it. But I don't remember there every being a 'field trip', if I remember right when Madge made it on it, they would only have a special ceremony during the Harvest Festival, stating how these well educated young men and women are the future 'bright people' of District 12, giving them a certificate.

I look over the note again, rereading it as we make our way in town. Vick speaks up saying he got the same note, Rory doesn't though.

"…_of the Honor Roll students, a special field trip has been plann-"_

_Bang and Bam. _

I hear that damn, _loud_ noise again… but this time feel it.

Feel it?

I turn around and see a frantic, fuzzy haired Madge that just ran into my backside.

"Katniss!? Katniss!?" She shouts quickly, completely winded.

"What?" I ask, giving her an odd look.

She bends over, placing her hands on her knees, trying desperately to catch her breath.

_Bang._

The noise hits again, this time sending people in the town running. But why and to where?

"What's going on Madge?" I ask, panic slowly being present in my voice. I feel the boys and Prim grab on to me out of uncertainty of what's going on.

"The…" She gasps for air. "Ai… Airgusta." She throws out. "The mines!"

And with that, the only thing I can think of before the paper falls from my hand is….

_Gale. _

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_**Chapter 19 Preview: What will happen with Gale? What's going on deep in the mines? Will Katniss's nightmare become a reality? How will Katniss start acting when she starts to experience other pregnancy symptoms? And what will take place when Katniss takes the "issue" about Mr. Hawk to the Justice Building behind Gale's back?**_

**A/N - *I just want to state I am _not _killing Gale off! **


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N - Hello ALL! Chapter 19 is here for you.. ON TIME! I had to make NO delays this time... I'm proud of myself! ;) ;) Anywho, this Chapter is every _longer _then the previous one(18)! Almost 7,000 words this time, not including the A/N and Chapter Preview! I'm getting better I assume at that, hopefully you won't find the Chapter to long? Let me know PLEASE at what you think of the length, too long? Just right? Longer? I love to hear your feedback! This Chapter contains ALOT! To my surprise I didn't have to much trouble writing it, It was easy actually. Hopefully you'll like it, it's one of my favorite Chapters yet!**

**THANK YOU for my reviews, ImaginationStation00, CatnipGirlOnFire, finewithbeingateennot, MadHatter0542, WeInHere, CampHalf-BloodGirl and of course.. Firework7! EACH review, little or big means the world to me, it means I have READERS and your obviously enjoying it! Hope you hear more reviews soon! ;) You guys crack me up with some of them! Firework7.. I seriously LOLed! **

**Well, important NEWS.. You can now find me on Tumblr! I created a fan blog for my Fiction work, link is on my profile under the Facebook link. I'll most likely post H.G. related pics ect and ect there too, make it more of a community type page rather then the update/info Facebook page. Anywho, Chapter 20 (Whoa, can't believe were that far!) will be up most likely _Wednesday_ afternoon/evening (U.S. EST). Again, if anything changes check the Facebook AND/OR Tumblr page. Wednesday seems a go though, I have BIG plains for Chapter 20! Anyway, I REALLY hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did! PLEASE review... I _love_ 'um! Much, much, (S0) much love - Macayla**

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_Run._

I'm running… again. But this isn't my nightmare, this isn't a dream. It's…

_Reality._

Oh how I want this to be just a nightmare, just another horrible, terrible dream that haunts me in my sleep. But…

_It's not._

It's _not _a dream. I run. Prim, Rory and Vick in toe. I hear them staggering behind me. We follow with the mass of running people towards the mines.

_Bam!_

We hear it again, nearly knocking me (and everyone around myself) to the ground. Thankfully I catch my footing, a few others don't though, being trampled over by the frantic families of the miners.

Gale.

He's _dead. _No, Katniss… not yet. Hope. All I need is hope. As if my nightmare couldn't become anymore realistic it does. It starts to rain, no, pour. Blinding my vision from the huge sign that reads "Mine Entrance". The rain immediately soaks my tightly worn shirt, sending me shivering as I continue to run. The only thing keeping me inline to my destination are the people running with me and the bright red and yellow lights coming from the Peacekeeper's vehicles at the Mines.

Finally after another agonizing minute of running were almost there… but yet so far away. So far away from the only person I want to see right now… so far away from what seems like my own life or death.

"BACK!"

I hear a deep, loud voice yell from the crowd I'm finding myself tangled in, mixing with the ear piercing sound of lightning and sirens. No, no medical sirens, we have no such thing as that in twelve, their the Peacekeeper's vehicles. Mixing in with their brightly colored, flashing lights. There's only so much the Peacekeeper's are trained in medical wise… I know my mother will have her hands full tonight.

_Bam! Bam!_

I hear it again, sending the whole entire crowd to the ground. I feel a heavy weight thrown on top of me, nothing but blackness from my face meeting the ground and the rain. People begin to stand…

_Bam!_

No.. it's not the sound of the mines, it's coming no where from the mines. That sound, is a gun. Their shooting at us, shooting at the own families of these most likely dead miners. People stand again though, including the people around me… including myself. Being short has it's disadvantages, I can see nothing but rain and people's backs. I try pushing myself to the front, but everyone else is doing the same, only causing yelling, shoving and crying.

"I said BACK!" The same man screams again, obstructed from my view. He doesn't sound far though.

"My husbands in there!", "My son!", "My Grandfather!"

People yell, scream from around me, I feel tears pooling around my eyes, threatening to spill over and mix with the rain water on my bare, cold face. "_My _husbands in there." I whisper to myself. The next voice though nearly knocks the wind out of me, sending the most coldest, evilest shivers down my spine. It's the voice of a little girl, small, scared and frail…

"My Daddy!"

She screams in a hysterical cry. My cry chimes in. I was her. Yes, my fathers death wasn't quite as chaotic as this, but I was her. Pleading for my father to not be dead to the mines. Today I'm pleading for my own Husband to be alive, safe from the wretched mines that take so many, so many fathers, husbands, sons, daughters, grandchildren.

I turn around, in search of this voice, in search of this little girl I can so much relate to. But why? To comfort her? To put a face to this voice? To hold her in my arms? To cry with her? I spot her though through the pouring down rain, being shoved back by a grown, older looking woman. The little girl cries out "Daddy!" again, mixing in with the cries and shouts of the others. Mixing in with the sound of my own weeping and over the sound of rain and thunder.

"Stop!" I shout at the woman.

The little girl falls to the ground with the loudest thud, banging her head on someone's leg. I watch for a second. Expecting the woman to help her, expecting someone much closer to her then me to help her, to extend a hand. To scope her up, set her down and continue their own shoving.

But they don't.

No one helps the poor, innocent girl from the ground. I only watch for another second, trying to depict her age. She looks eight. I hear the man shouting "Back" numerous times as I begin pushing _against_ the crowd, never taking my eyes off the child. I finally reach her, but not without getting cussed by a man. I crotch down, extending my hand to the girl. Blood appears on her face, near her nose.

"It's okay, I'm here to help you!" I shout above the chaotic noise around us. My voice strains of panic and tears.

The sound of louder Peacekeeper sirens make notice. The rain seems to subdue to some viable range. She looks at me, hard through her tear stricken eyes, squinting at me. I keep my feet or two of distance. I'd wish the girl would take my hand, I have a dying husband to care about.

"_But she has a dying father."_

I hear in my head, almost draining me of my own thoughts of Gale. I extend my hand further, trying to smile through my pain and tears. She latches on at last, curling her fingers around the tip of my own fingers. I go to stand but I'm violently knocked down, nearly landing on top of the girl. The girl's and I's fingers are still interlaced with I fall flat on my front, smashing my face, torso and stomach flat into the ground, causing me to whimper in… pain. Abdomen pain.

The _baby. _

I just may be losing two people today. I may be losing the only remaining aspect I have of Gale. Something we did together… something we made together… something we _created_ together.

Dead. Just like his own father might be.

I raise to my knees, keeping a tight grip on the girl. The next thing that happens seems not… me. Not myself. Something straight out of my dreams, a bad dream though, even though it's not entirely bad. It's not bad at all. My free hand slowly raises to my abdomen, gently resting over exactly where the baby is.

"It's okay baby. Your gonna make it."

I say. Unaware of the words until they leave my lips. No, I'm not talking to the starring, crying girl next to me. I'm talking to my dying baby. I close my eyes, speaking my next words-

"It's okay baby. Your gonna make this Gale."

I let the words again slip, unaware of them before I spoke them again. I speak honestly though, I'm not losing one today… especially not two people. I turn my attention back to the girl gripping my entire hand now tightly (thinking I must be nuts). Leaving my other hand on my abdomen, I stand, yanking the girl with me. Most likely hurting her skinny, boney arm, just in time to hear-

"Alive ones!" Screamed from somewhere in the crowd. Alive.

_Alive. _

Alive! Gale's alive!

"Dead ones too! Lot's of injured!" Screams the same man from somewhere in the crowd, beyond the crowd.

Almost in a blink of an eye everyone immediately starts pushing… hard. From where I'm at with the girl I can see nothing but peoples backs still.

"Follow me!" I shout to the girl, clutching on to her hand tightly. She nods her head quickly in answer.

Her eyes never leave me as I begin pushing myself, shoving. I move my arm to behind my back, dragging the girl directly behind me as I squeeze my way through people, spots so narrow only one of us can fit at a time. Finally I begin to spot the rod iron, 7ft tall fence that boarders the mine entrance. I shove, _hard _through the ever growing, ever angry crowd. Trying nothing more then to make it to that fence, knowing I'll see more that way.

Lightning. It cracks through the sky, rumbling the ground beneath me. The rain stops to a steady fold of water, not a downpour though. It's the time of storm that comes on a hot summer afternoon, making the town turn a depressing grey. My eyes become blurry with water (From rain or tears I don't know) as I begin to see the fence more clearly, as I weave in and out between people, keeping a tight grip on the whimpering girl behind me. A woman shoves me hard, sending an indescribable pain through my abdomen. I close my eyes just briefly-

"Come on, you can make it."

I mouth to myself, speaking not just to my most likely dying baby inside of me but to my most likely dying Husband underground too. I open my eyes just in time to see a small crack in the crowd, leading _straight _to the fence. I sprint, run to that fence. Yet again yanking the girl with me.

When I reach the small fence I nearly pass out at the new sight before me. It's nothing of the crowd. I place my free hand on one of the bars before me, keeping my balance as my vision turns from blurry to clear… then back to blurry. I curse this fence, the fence they purposely close during mine explosions to hold back the families and friends.

Through my troubled vision I can see a mass of Peacekeeper's surrounding the Mine Entrance, shouting (and screaming) things I'd never understand, codes and singles that only they themselves know. Just a few feet from them, in the brush around the small building that lines the Mine Shaft stands another mass of Peacekeeper's, all bent over in what appears to almost be a circle. In that semi-circle and area lines dozens of…

Miners.

"Gale!?" I _scream_ at them, trying desperately to see his face in the injured, bleeding miners laying on the ground.

Even though I scream, it goes completely unnoticed. Blocked out by the sirens, (other) screams and cracking lightning and rain. The next person I see almost relief's me. No it's not Gale it's…

My mother.

My mother. Who's the healer. She's the one to keep Gale alive if he's even still alive. I see Prim, standing next to her. Helping her.

Prim!

Rory! Vick! I have completely forgot they were behind me, following me into the crowd. I pray that Rory and Vick are unharmed from the crowd. Obviously Prim found her way around it, I'll never understand how she works…

I turn my attention back to the group of Peacekeeper's at the Mine Entrance just in time to see them pull another seven or eight Miners from the shaft. Smoke and ash are mixed in with them, I hear a few of them coughing. I try frantically, desperately to identify one of them as Gale but it's in possible. Their so covered with dirt, coal and blood. Some of them begin to limp over to where my mother has set up her medic station, some of the others are carried by the Peacekeeper's, other's are completely unmovable, being slung over the backs of other Peacekeeper's.

Dead.

I've seen enough dead people in my life to know one when I see one. I cover my mouth with my hand as tears begin pouring from my eyes. What if one of those dead men is Gale? Just what if? Minutes begin ticking by but no other miners are pulled out yet, their all working frantically though, sending more and more Peacekeeper's down in the wretched mines. I crotch down, still holding on to the hand of the girl that has now made her way beside me, keeping my other hand on the bar still as my hand slides down it. I sit completely on my bottom, watching. Waiting.

How long I wait? I don't know. The rain stops completely as minutes begin ticking by, faster and faster. Another load of miners come up from the smoking shaft, mostly dead ones as far as I can see. Being slowly dragged over to my mothers medic station, dropped on the floor. All of their identities are still unclear, the smoke, ash, coal and mostly blood cover their faces and bodies more then ever now. I rest my forehead on the bars, ignoring the shooting pains through my abdomen.

"_I'll always be here for you Katniss." _

I hear the sentence in my head, replaying the words Gale told me just last night.

"Oh Gale." I cry out. "I need you!" I say through my wretched sobs.

I feel a slight squeeze on one of my hands, confused I raise my head from the fence, starring into the teary eyes of the girl. She's now crotched down with me, clutching my hand with her head resting on my shoulder. Even though I have no idea who she is, or what's her story I feel an odd, comfortable feeling with her. Feeling as though her herself is my father, telling me everything's alright.

Everything's alright.

XX

An hour. Two. They come, the crowd getting quieter and quieter, all following with crouching down, holding on to their families members. Silently (now) crying and weeping to themselves. The sirens from the Peacekeeper's vehicles and the mines have somewhat calmed themselves in volume. Maybe are ears are simply adjusting to it now. Through the quieter crowd I can hear the Peacekeeper's talking more, speaking about the miners. I listen as I can barley hear one of them shout "22 dead so far sir". I cringe at the news.

22?

And one of them could be Gale. I close my eyes, trying desperately to tell Gale I love him, through whatever lies between us… life _or_ death.

I cry silently as slowly, one by one they start calling people from the mass crowd, walking around some when no one answers to the name. Taking two families at a time to the injured or dead miners, they must be nearly sixty or seventy of them now. Most of them now obstructed from the crowds view, including my own. I grip the girls hand tightly as the crowd silently watches the first two families being escorted to the injured/dead by several exhausted looking Peacekeeper's. One of the families, a woman that must be in her thirties and her little girl are taken away to the injured that are obstructed from my view by the crowd. I turn my attention to the other family, an older looking woman with grey hair and her two sons, they both look to be my age. They each take hold of their mothers arm as she is slightly bent over, all three slowly walking with the Peacekeeper. Two Peacekeeper's lead them over to where several, several miners lay to what appears to be uncurious, dead. The next moment I hear the woman scream, falling to the ground.

Dead. Whoever she was looking for must be… dead.

I wait. Silently with the girl as name after name is called. Screams after screams. Some of joy. Some of grief. Some of pain. Not from the families though, from the miners my mother is frantically working on still. Name after name after name after name are called, a good forty or fifty minutes must pass by, the storm clouds get darker and darker. Going into the late afternoon with no sunlight.

I watch as two Peacekeeper's walk up to each other, one from the mine shaft and one from the injured, they only feet from where I'm at, I listen to their entire conversation unnoticed-

"Sir, the fire is to much. I can't send anymore of my men down there without getting killed"

"How many are left?" The other Peacekeeper asks, I'm almost positive he's the head one.

"I don't know, a lot. Two hundred, maybe three."

"We can't leave them to die."

"Sir, with all do respect." He pauses for a second. "I'm sure they already are. The mines are not suit anymore for human contact. Between the heat, fire and smoke, Sir… their already dead. I can't risk anymore of our Peacekeeper's lives."

"How many of our own have we lost?"

"Five Sir."

The head Peacekeeper sighs loudly, appearing angry before his next words-

"Send code 325 to the Capitol, 233 to District 2 and 890 to the Mayor. It's mission over. Tell the Mayor we lost more then we could save."

And with that they both part their ways. I (again)cringe at the words, there's well over more dead miners then alive miners, meaning Gale is most likely dead. I cry, loudly. The girl's cries beside me echo my own. A light mist begins from the storm clouds, drowning me further into my sorrow. I continue crying as name after name is called still. I close my eyes, realizing what will happen when my own name is ca-

"Katniss Hawthorn!?"

I open my eyes to see a Peacekeeper standing directly above me, on the other side of the fence…

Darius!

But that does absolutely nothing to what is about to happen to me. I'm about to find out my husband is dead, gone forever. Darius crotches down on my level, on the other side of the fence still.

"Katniss," He whispers. "He's alive."

And with that… I scream. Joy. No, more like relief.

_He's alive!_

Darius briefly smiles at my reaction, but just briefly.

"He's alive." He repeats. "He's pretty banged up but your mom thinks he's going to make it. He's asking for you." He says.

I stand, shaking my head violently. The girl beside me stands too. I don't quit catch the next name called but it must be hers-

"That's me." She chokes out, speaking her first words to me.

She runs off, dropping my hand and running to the small opening now in the fence a few yards down. I slowly walk after her, toward the opening too but I quickly lose her.

"Good luck." I mouth to myself.

After stepping over a few people I make it to the small gate in the fence, meeting Darius there. He gives me a reassuring smile before placing a hand on my back, helping me move. With his steady hand there, I follow him, walking into the mass of moaning, injured, bleeding miners. Away from the dead ones…

Away from the dead ones.

I pass one miner who (as it appears) for his legs burned off. I look away at the sight and to Darius as we pass him,

"What happened?" I ask, fear evident in my voice.

"Airgusta hid a bomb somewhere in the mines…" He starts as we step over and around the injured. "It triggered an explosion but it blew a lot of the gases, causing a massive fire to break out. That stays between us, got it?" He finishes in a whisper.

"Yes." I choke out, louder then I intended.

I continue following Darius in the ever growing mass of bleeding injured, the moans become louder and more urgent as we go, a few of them screaming help through their choked and weak voices. A lot of the miners have their families with them now, gathered around. I try searching for my mother but spot no one but a girl named 'Sunny', she helps my mother and Prim a lot when she has to care for more then four or five patients at a time.

I don't say anything as we pass her, for no apparent reason though. My soul focus right now is on Gale… He's alive! We continue yet again weaving in and out of the injured, maybe there's more then sixty or seventy… it looks well over that now. Just as we step over a few more bleeding miners I begin to see Gale, from what it looks like but before I can say or do anything…

_BAM!_

Everyone screams, falling to the ground. Darius pushes me there, but remains completely calm.

"What the hell was that!?" I shout before I can stop it.

"Explosion. Controlled." He says, sternly as he survey's the people around us. His radio goes off-

"466 is done. No human life remains in the mines. Mission is complete."

Darius ignores the voice coming through his radio and helps me stand, brushing dirt off of his white panted, bloody uniform. I would find it funny if I wasn't so confused.

"Controlled." He says again. "We had to do it Katniss, to end any suffering." He adds.

I finally add his words up. They made yet another mine explosion, killing off any living miners. I want to scream, cuss every fowl word at him, at his squad for allowing something like this, for _doing _something like this. I hold my tongue though, realizing I'm just feet away from an injured Gale who's asking for me. Right now I have to focus on my own family.

I turn back around and everyone has resumed whatever the hell they were doing before, everyone acts as though it didn't happened. That the Peacekeeper's just didn't make the death toll rise higher. I shake my head and turn my attention back to the man I _thought _was Gale. Darius leads me past him, I was wrong, it wasn't him. We walk another few feet before he walks me to where several miners lay, moaning in pain.

"Right there." Darius says, pointing to a man covered in blood, coal and ash.

Gale.

He's _completely_ unrecognizable. His skin is burned, mostly his body, arms, legs. I jog over to him, closing the feet or two of distance.

"Katni-" He chokes out, unable to finish my own name.

I get down on my knees beside him, placing my hands on either side of his head that has a gashing wound across his forehead, one of his arms is wrapped in white linen. The touch instantly stains my hands red.

"Oh Gale!" I let out through my tears.

"I was worried about you." Gale says, coughing afterwards. His words are sloppy though, he can barley move his mouth. I laugh briefly at his words.

"Me? I was worried about you!" I reply, soothing back his hair that is caked to his wound on his head from blood. He moans in pain. "Sorry. Sorry!" I say.

I move my head from being just inches from his and survey his body. The remaining bit of his mining clothes he has on is burned to his skin. Blood is everywhere, mostly dry though, meaning he hasn't bled as much recently.

"Catnip?" He chokes out, I bring my head back up to his.

"You going to be fine. Sh!" I respond, trying to sooth him by running my fingers in his tangled hair.

"How bad is it?" He asks me, pain evident in his voice, straining.

"Not bad. Not bad at all!" I answer with a reassuring smile. I speak only somewhat honestly though, his burns are pretty server, from what I know.

"I'm sorry Katniss, I'm so sorry!" He says, extending his good arm and placing it on my waist. "I should've been more carefu-"

"Gale, Shh!" I say, cutting him off from his words.

"I'm sorry. I.. We were coming out, getting off…" He swallows loudly. "… early. We were alm-"

"Gale, Stop. Res-"

"…almost there. We had… clocked out and… were heading to the.. Shaft when-"

"Gale!" I shout, trying to calm him, knowing how upset he appears and the weakness in his voice.

He's only doing himself worse by trying to tell me this story that yes, I absolutely am interested in but not now, not here. He doesn't listen though and does his best with continuing,-

"… when everything got…" He stutters. "got… bright. And hot. Katniss?"

I remove my hands from his head, taking his one hand on my waist and taking it in my own, resting it on my lap, causing blood to stain my clothes.

"What?" I ask gently, wishing he'd shut up, wishing he'd just relax.

"I… I was scared."

XX

Ten or fifteen minutes later I'm ordered to stand, backing up… by my own mother. Her, with four or five Peacekeeper's surround Gale, lifting him and placing him on a wide piece of wood. I cry silently as I watch them do this, causing Gale to cry out in agonizing pain. He cusses at my own mother. It doesn't effect her though, she acts as though she didn't hear it. While the Peacekeeper's retrain Gale to the make-shift gurney with rope, my mother quickly comes over to me. Her hairs a tangled mess in her usual braid, her clothes are completely red with blood, old and fresh and she reeks of sweat, blood and tears. The worst part of it though, is she clearly reeks of routing flesh.

"Katniss, Hon?" She speaks, frantically and quickly. "I'm going to give you a few instructions for Gale right now, I need you to listen." She says, shaking her head at me.

I quickly sniff my tears away as I hear my mother start to continue, and another scream of pain from Gale.

"Hon, I'm sending Gale home for now, he'll be okay but he's badly wounded." She pauses, making sure I'm following. "Hazel was here, she's moved the mattress downstairs in the living room for Gale, putting fresh sheets on. The Peacekeeper's will help you lay him there.." She pauses again. "Leave him there! Give him water if he asks for it but no food, understand?" She asks me, I nod my head in answer, trying to absorb it all in. "Good. I need you to keep him talking, don't let him sleep. If he's talking he's breathing. Don't give him any medicine. But I do need you to do one thing for me, sweetheart for him.." She says, looking at me intensely.

I'm almost scared at what she's about to say, Ever since I was young I've been squeamish around human blood, guts and bones. I swallow hard and shake my head,

"I need you to clean the burns for me. You know how do it Katniss!" She says.

She's right, I do. It's the only bit of help my mother ever can get from me when she's with her patients, it still makes me sick to my stomach though. But it's Gale, I'll do _anything _for him.

"I'll be there as soon as I can Katniss. Just talk to him, distract him!" My mother finishes, Taking my hand and squeezing it slightly, I burst into tears before I'm aware of it.

"Katniss, baby. He's going to be okay. I just need you to be that strong woman I know you are. Hazel's there to help yo-"

"Mrs. Everdeen! Mrs. Everdeen! We need you!" A man shouts from a several feet away.

"I have to go. Take him home, I promise I'll be there as soon as I can. Love you."

And with that she runs off, following the guy to area of the dead. One of the Peacekeeper's who's helping Gale looks at me, the rain starts to come down harder again, a heavy downpour.

"Where to Mrs. Hawthorn?" He asks me, I hear Gale moan in pain.

"West end of the Seam." I choke out.

He shakes his head in answer. The rain lets up as somewhat as we begin making our way out of the mining gate that covers the property and start down the Seam road. I tag behind them, quickly nodding at the Peacekeeper holding the gate open for me. He smiles… a sad smile.

We walk, the five or six minute walk to Gale's and I's home. His moans and cries of pain only get louder and more intense. I manage to stop my crying, but it only makes the pain worse in my heart. Were almost there (I point it out to the Peacekeeper's) when Gale speaks again-

"Katniss?" He somewhat shouts, seeking me out through the pain, rain and blood.

"I'm right here!" I shout form behind Gale and the men. "Were almost home!"

He only answers with another agonizing moan. Loud thunder cracks, making the beating of my hurting heart go even faster. I feel as though I could faint. From exhaustion, misery, sorrow but I can't. I have to be strong for Gale.

We arrive at our home, the men stop at the porch stairs, looking back at me. I run ahead of them, throwing the front door open, pointing with my finger for them to walk inside. The heave Gale over their shoulders now. I step aside on the porch, letting them enter. When they are, I follow them in, shutting the door behind me. All four of the Peacekeeper's work to take Gale off of the stretcher (wood) and onto the mattress Hazel moved from the bedroom. I stand there with her in the doorway, she clings tightly to me as we watch. The house fills with Gale's screams and shouts of fowl language. I manage again to hold back all my tears, in effort to be stronger for Hazel. She cries hysterically.

"He's going to make it." I tell her. "He's going to be alright."

I rub my hand down her arm, trying to comfort her but I'm not the comforting type. I'm the one needing to be comforted, I'm the one.

With one last grunt from Gale the Peacekeeper's finally get him down and onto the mattress on the floor. They turn towards Hazel and I, carrying the blood stained piece of wood.

"Anything else Mrs. Hawthorn?" The same Peacekeeper asks me.

"No, thank you." I choke out, my voice sounding unlike my own.

They all nod their heads at me, leaving for the door and shutting it quietly behind them. I turn to Hazel, asking her one quick question-

"The kids?"

"At a friends house, the boys, Posy. Their fine." She says quickly.

Before I can respond she runs into the living room (I follow) and throws herself at Gale, much like I did. Talking soothing words to him. He answers back and I remind myself him talking is a good thing, I mother ordered him to.

My mother's instructions.

I go back to what my mother has just said to me not twenty minutes ago… water good. Food no. Medicine no. Clean his wounds/burns yes.

"Hazel, I need you to go to my mothers home and get some things I need for his burns." I say, surprisingly calmly.

She says something quickly to Gale, (I don't quite catch it) and stands, facing me. I rack my brain, trying to remember what my mother uses to treat burns and cuts. I place both my hands on my forehead, closing my eyes, in an effort to think harder. I hear Gale call for me but I ignore for the moment. Finally it comes to me, most of it anyway. I tell Hazel of the few herbs to bring, asking her to pick up a few extra _clean _towels.

"Got it!" She says when I'm done.

I start walking towards Gale as Hazel walks to the front door but then a thought hits me, I turn around slightly-

"Oh! Bring Rory over, I could use an extra set of hands." I say to her, hoping she'll be fine with that. She nods her head in answer, slamming the door behind her.

"Katniss?" Gale says weakly.

"I'm here, Gale. I'm here." I say, crouching down beside him.

I hear that his breathing is heavy, almost small silent gasps with each breath he takes. That's normal though isn't it? I pray that it is.

Gale watches me for the next minutes as we wait for Hazel, I rub small circles into the palm of his good hand. He starres at my shirt covered in blood, and my hands as well.

"Katniss?" He speaks, breaking the house from it's ere sound of distant sirens, run and thunder.

"Hmm?" I respond softly, moving my other hand to his hair. I see the pain in his eyes.

"I… I'm in so… much pain." He says, pretty much telling me he wants pain killers.

"My mothers on her way, she's bringing medicine." I reply.

"I.. I can't wait tha-"

"Gale, you are _so _strong." I tell him honestly. "You can get through this. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

He looks at me and for the first time he… smiles. Small yes, but a smile either way.

"I guess… I… I've been through worse." He says jokingly. He can't be serious? I laugh though, remembering my mother said to distract him.

"And how?" I ask, smiling and continuing with rubbing circles on his hand.

"Re… Remember the time we… we were wrestling?" He asks me, weakly.

I squint my face and then bam… I know the exact story Gale is trying to tell me-

This story is only from last year. Me and Prim had come over to Gale's home for the day, to have fun, it was for no apparent reason. Gale recalled that he spend a year on the wrestling team, the year his Dad had died. Long story short somehow I got thrown into a bet that I could beat Gale at wrestling, low and behold I did(with a lot of effort). Surprising myself, Gale (of course), Prim, the boys, Posy. Even Hazel who walked into the living room to see me having her son in a death grip around the neck. It wasn't easy and I didn't go easy on Gale. On my last move, I kicked Gale square in the head, knocking him instantly unconscious. That day I had thought I had hurt Gale seriously. He woke up twenty minutes later with a pounding, aching headache and a lump on the side of his head. His brothers haven't let the memory die every since.

I laugh at the thought of that memory, me taking a beating to Gale. Gale's weak laugh joins in with mine.

"I let you win." He tells me.

I laugh harder, beyond thankful that were _both _now laughing in a moment like this, when only minutes ago we were both crying in pain, separate kind of pains. The front door suddenly bust open and I know it must be Hazel and hopefully Rory, I can't see from the living room. Thankfully I'm correct when Hazel rejoins us in the living room. Gale lets out a whimper of pain as he tries readjusting his legs, he stops though. Gale weakly smiles when he see's Rory.

"Thank you." I say to Hazel as she hands me the herbs and items I needed to clean Gale's burns/wounds. "Rory? I need you to sterilize some water for me, a lot of it. There's some buckets and a water spout in the backyard…" I say. "… there's a bottle of Iodine under the sink. Quickly please!" I tell him.

He doesn't say anything and runs off, again the door slams shut. I take the bottles of herb's and fresh linins from Hazel, opening the containers.

"Gale, I'm going to have to clean the burns. I'm sorry." I apologize, knowing how bad it will make it burn. He doesn't say anything but sighs.

I begin taking the lids off of the three containers, dipping the end of a white clothe into the sticky, dark green ointment. It has a particular smell… not pleasant.

"Side." I hear Gale say through my thoughts. The sound of a loud crack of thunder jolts me.

"What?" I ask him, continuing dipping the linins.

"I… I want to be… on my side. My… my back is… burned." He answers, coughing afterwards.

I stop and look up, understanding what he's saying. It would cause more pain if he's hurt on his back but therefore laying on top of it. I nod my head and look at Hazel.

"We need to roll him onto his side _gently_." I strain the word, knowing that Hazel would be though of course.

Before we do though, I ask Hazel to bring me a pair of scissors or a knife. She brings a pair of scissors down from her knitting basket. I carefully and gently (the best I can) cut Gale from his shirt. Pits and pieces are charred into his flesh, I leave them. Honestly being lost at what to do there.

Once I'm finished I lay aside the blood covered scissors, turning my attention with getting Gale on his side. I position my knees on the mattress, sitting on my feet. Hazel rolls Gale to his side and making his torso aliened with my knees. Of course this doesn't come without more agonizing moans, grunts, groans and screams of pain from Gale, making my heart tare into two at each sound. I silently pray that the closeness to me now helps him with the pain, he wraps both his arms around me, burying his head on the side of my legs. He squeezes me tightly, staining my clothes redder.

I begin rubbing the ointment gently on his back, legs, arms(that I can get to) and face. Getting cussed at several times from him. I continue doing this while listening to the screams about from Gale. I lone, silent tear falls from my eyes. After applying the ointment for a good ten, fifteen minutes (with both Hazel's and Rory's help), I wait the five minutes I'm supposed to and then I start with applying the clean water now that Rory brought in for me. Another round of Gale's screams courses through my body as I work the water on, cleaning the blood and puss. Ten minutes of that and were finally done. I've cleaned the burns/wounds the best I can. All that is left is to wait for my mother to finish and give him medicine he's in desperate need of.

"Take a break." I say to Hazel in a whisper-like tone, noticing her greenness on her face. She nods, silently getting up and excusing herself to the kitchen.

Gale rolls back to his back, without our help or awareness before hand. He grunts loudly as he thumps back onto the mattress completely-

"Gale, please be careful!" I exclaim to him.

"I ne… ed that medici… medicine, Katniss! Please!" He shouts at me, Rory watches intently.

"I know baby but I can't-"

"Yes you can!" He shouts me, louder. "Please!" He begs.

It's almost as though I can feel Gale's pain, his heartache. I want nothing more then to give him the relief he so desperately needs but I can't. My mother locks the pain medicine away, carrying the key with herself always. I can do nothing for him until my mother shows up, which I pray is any second. I tell Gale this and he grunts in answer.

"Damn it, Katniss!" He screams at me.

That's when I know I need a short break, a breather. I hate to leave Gale with just his brother but I have to, just for a moment. I exclaim this to Rory and he nods his head, telling me the same thing I told Hazel, 'Take a break'. And I will do just that. I whisper to Rory to keep Gale talking, distract him. He nods his head again. Rory takes my seat on the mattress and I excuse myself into the kitchen too. I walk in to see Hazel looking at something on the counter, I pay no mind to her as I pull out a chair at the table, slamming my head down onto it. Tears begin building in my eyes-

"Katniss?" Hazel calls for me, her tone completely changed. Back to her sweet nature.

"What?" I respond, a bit to harshly.

"What are these darling?" She asks me.

I raise my head up from the table, turning my attention toward where she stands. She wears an odd grin. In her hands are books,

The pregnancy books . . . . . .

* * *

**_Chapter 20 Preview: How will Katniss respond to Hazel finding the pregnancy books? Will stress take over her emotions in answering? And how will Hazel respond to whatever news Katniss delivers? How will Gale heal? Will Katniss ever see that certain little girl she met at the mines or is she gone forever? What is the fate of her Father? And what will happen when Katniss goes searching for her? Find out Wednesday! _**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N - Howdy! Chapter 20 is here and ready! Again, NO delays, yay! I could have used an extra day, making the chapter a bit longer but I decided to go ahead and post it, liking the cliffhanger at the end. Oh, and don't hate me for it ;) ;). Again, it's a bit shorter then the last two I've written but I've been just a wee bit busy this week. The next chapters I'm hoping I continue my "long chapter writing streak"! Do you guys like the long chapters like that? Let me know!**

**Thank you, Firework7 and finewithnotbeingateennot for reviewing! I was hoping I'd get more, that was my best chapter yet (personally). Hope everyone's doing great!**

**I had a little trouble in this chapter, so I'm hoping you like it. Again, I wish it was longer. Anywho, BIG news, I've started a NEW multi One-Shot story, head on over to my profile to check it out, read the intro first please! (It's Post-Mockingjay One-Shots) Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Reviews greatly appreciated. I have REALLY big plans for the next Chapter, be sure to check out the preview at the end here. Oh, and you'll be seeing Prim in this chapter... 'act' a little different then her normal self, there is a reason. Not the next, but the following (Chpt. 22) will be alot of Prim and Katniss. Oh, and how do you like the idea of this little girl? She's got a story you'll find out soon. Well, Chapter 21 (whew!) will be up either Saturday OR Sunday, I'm actually shooting for Saturday afternoon/evening, check the Facebook and/or Tumblr page for updates and/or previews. Anywho, Enjoy this chapter, reviews appreciated. Much love - Macayla**

* * *

I don't answer, not right away. Instead at stare into her face, her smile that seems so… odd to me. She steps a little closer to me, holding tightly to the books.

"Katniss hon, are you pregnant?" She asks me, gently and quietly.

I'm completely lost for an answer. Of course I am (I still hope I am), but why am I finding it so hard to tell her this? I swallow hard, remembering to even check (the best I know how to) to see if my baby is still alive. I oddly pray that he is.

"Ah…" I stutter, swallowing hard again.

"You are!" She quietly shouts, bouncing at the balls of her feet. "Oh. My. God. You are!" She repeats, letting out a silent squeal.

I don't smile, I keep a straight face, unmoving. Feeling pain at the thought I still might be telling her I'm not, that I might be telling _Gale _I'm not anymore.

"I have to use the bathroom." I blurt out, getting up from the chair before she can answer.

I run up the stairs and into the small bathroom off of the bedroom, staring into the mirror. The girl looking back at me looks nothing like myself. Her dark brown, wavy hair is flat and damp from rain water, her shirt and pants covered in a red substance… blood. Sweat and water(rain) stains accompany the blood. But I didn't come up here to look at myself in the mirror, I came up here to find out if my baby is still alive. I close my eyes, trying to decide if I'm right about what my mother tells her pregnant patients about checking for the loose of a baby. My mother always tells them, that if there's blood in the underwear, that it's a miscarriage. I swallow hard, taking a deep, loud breath before I do just that.

Not last week I wouldn't have cared rather I had lost the baby or not… in a sad, sick way I would have _wanted _to, thinking it's better off. But I don't… not anymore.

I _want _this baby.

There. I said the words I had so dreaded to say. Words I had been keeping from myself, a lie I had been telling myself, the people around me.

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Katniss, sweetheart, are you okay?" I hear Hazel ask me form the other side of the bathroom door.

"Fine. Just using the restroom." I shout back, again, a bit too harshly.

I sigh at the sound of her footsteps fading away, back down the stairs.

'_Pull yourself together, Katniss' _

I hear in my head. I know that I must, that I have an injured, hurt husband downstairs waiting for me. Depending on me. I muster up all my strength, pulling down my pants and gasping at the sight before me…

No blood.

Before I can stop it my lips form a smile, a wide smile. My babies safe. He's alive… too. I pull my pants back up, leaning against the counter sink and sighing a breath of relief, but also dawning at my own words.

I want this baby.

I repeat the words to myself, speaking honestly. Shocking myself. My smile widens.

_Knock, knock, knock._

"I'm sorry, Katniss, but Gale _needs _that medicine." I hear Hazel say, her tone changing back to pain and frantic.

"Coming, coming." I speak, opening the door to be greeted by a panic looking Hazel.

I never see this look from her, only briefly at times. But I follow her down the stairs and back into the living room. Gale is, to my surprise, sitting up. I become instantly angry. Realizing that's not the best position to have a burnt person in. I run to sit next to him on the mattress, his face is red with newly stained blood. After I had cleaned his wounds/burns, you could only see pink, hot skin. Now new blood has surfaced on most of his body, turning him back into a dark shade of red, especially his face. Gale extends his good arm to me, grasping my hand.

"K… Katniss? I _ne…ed _that… that medicine." He says calmly to me, stuttering in pain.

Then I realize, at the sight of Gale in agonizing, unbarring pain that I can't take it no more. I can't bare to watch him suffer like this while my own mother ignores her own son in-law.

"Gale, I'm going to get it." I say calmly back.

"Now?" He asks me, pleads me.

"Now." I confirm, his chapped lips form a small smile through the pain.

I lean in, kissing them lightly. He doesn't move his lips but closes his eyes. His lips are hot, burning my own but I don't stop. The feeling of his lips pressed against my own is a feeling I thought I'd never get to feel again. I pull away at the sound of-

_Knock, knock, knock._

A small, light knock stirs me from my thoughts. I sigh as I turn my attention to the front door, then back to Gale.

"I'm going to get it. I'll be back as soon as I can." I say, pressing my lips quickly to his again. I stand back up, stopping Hazel in the kitchen from opening the door. "I got it. Just keep Gale distracted, I'll get the medicine." I say, gesturing with my head towards the living room.

She nods at me, walking briskly back to Gale. She stops halfway, right as my hand is on the door knob, the person behind the door briefly knocks again.

"Congrats on the baby. I can't wait to be a Grandmother!" Hazel says, walking back into the living room before I can answer.

Even though she can't see me anymore, I smile at her words. Realizing that both my mother and her _will _be Grandmothers. Making Gale and I _both _parents, with each other. I shake my head at the thought, turning my attention back to the person that's been patiently waiting at the door. I open it slowly, being greeted by a light mist from the now smaller rain clouds. No one.

No one is on the other side.

I peek my head out some, looking around. I shrug at the sight of nothing but a few frantic people making their way down and up the usually unbusy seam road. I quickly grab my game bag from the counter, knowing I need to get this medicine for Gale soon. I slam the door shut behind me, almost stepping on the continent in front of the door. A small, brown paper bag sits there, with a small note written on the side of it in black ink. I bend down, grabbing the bag and reading the neatly handwritten note quickly-

"_For Gale. I hope he's well. - Peeta M."_

Peeta M.? Peeta Mellark. I open the bag and two things hit me, the scent of freshly baked bread and steam. I almost faint (I know I get dizzy) at the smell. Will I _ever _stop owing this boy? Why is it that he's always 'popping' up somehow in my life? Always at the most appropriate times? I shake my head, trying my best to forget the boy with the bread and focus on my screaming, in pain husband that's waiting on me.

I quickly stuff the paper bag into my game bag, running down the steps.

Where to? Where to?

My mother. She's the only one that has a key to the small safe she uses to lock away the pain medicine. When I was young, I'd never understand why she would do this. But now, now that I retrieve the correct herbs for her from the woods, I understand. The ones needed to brew pain killing medicine is the hardest to come by. I can search for hours and hours without finding the correct herbs, sometimes I go days without finding them, making my mother have a short supply. There always seems to be somebody coming to my mother, daily for pain killers. But I never use to understand why she would _lock _them away, keeping safe guard over the key. She told me that when people you love are in pain, you do crazy things. The night that a wife of a dying shop keeper broke into our home, searching for the medicine after my mother said we were out, I now understand that too. And she was right, people will do crazy things when they people they love are hurt.

Much like myself. I run down the seam road, regretting I'll have to face those wretched mines to get to my mother, people are walking, running and jogging up and down the road. Coming and going from the mines. Some are crying, others are happy, almost skipping to their homes. I see a few other Peacekeeper's, doing the same thing they did to Gale. Carrying the critically wounded home, most likely home for some of them to die in peace. I've seen my mother do it with her patients before. I come up on the scene I so wanted to forget, but it's changed, there's no more crowd and the gate surrounding the mines are open again. Still though, dozens and dozens of injured, bleeding, screaming miners lay spread out on the ground, shouting things. Most of them have their families around. I avoid looking to my right, the pile of bodies stacked up for the mass grave.

"Can we help you?" I hear a deep voice behind me. I turn around, being greeted by a Peacekeeper I've never seen before.

"I'm looking for my mother. The healer?" I respond, knowing people know her more as the 'healer' rather then by her first(or last) name.

"Over there." He says, gesturing with his head toward the injured.

Before I can say anything else he walks off, joining a group of Peacekeeper's in moving a miner. I follow his movement to where he said my mother was. Low and behold he was right. I see her and Prim, bent over a bleeding miner, a screaming miner. I jog over to her, instantly regretting it. I come up on the scene, just as my mother is bringing down a large saw on a mans leg. I'm still eight or nine feet away but I turn around, throwing up what little I had for lunch, feeling faint and dizzy.

"Katniss? It's okay." I hear from behind me, a gentle hand rests on my back.

Without turning around I know this voice from anywhere, Prim. How she can remain unaffected by the things she see's, I have no clue. I've come close to fainting at just the sound effects of my mothers work, much like now. Another scream comes from the man behind me.

"I need that medicine for Gale. Now." I say breathlessly, resting my hands on my knees as I continue to still feel nauseous.

Prim doesn't answer but I feel her remove her hand from my back and footsteps fading. With another scream from the man the remaining bit of lunch reappears, en elderly woman pass's me, stopping and looking. I look up at her, wanting badly to smack the sour look she wears.

"Are you Katniss Everdeen? The healers daughter?" She asks me in a raspy voice, a loud crack of thunder courses through the sky. Creepy.

"Yes, she is." I hear from behind me, Prim.

The woman looks past me, studying Prim for a moment, then continuing on. I turn around toward Prim, ignoring the sight behind her.

"Did you know her?" Asks Prim sheepishly, I answer with a 'no'. "Creepy." Prim adds, stealing the words from my thoughts, I briefly laugh, just briefly. "Here's the key. She said two pills every three hours. But she said she'll be there before he'll need a second dose." She says, handing me the little silver key to the rusted safe at home.

"Thanks." I say, wiping snout from my nose.

"No problem. How's Gale?" She asks, a hint of fear in her voice.

"Alright, just in a lot of pain." I reply, eyeing the silver key in my hand.

"Are how are _you _doing?" She asks me, dropping her head slightly to catch my gaze.

"I'm fine." I reply, somewhat honestly, but not completely truthful. Prim catches this of course.

"Katniss, don't lie to me because I'm young. I thought we had a different relationship now." She says. Her voice is nothing like her own, she sounds distant. I laugh quickly.

"Are you sure _your _okay?" I reply, somewhat teasingly and serious. "Maybe all this blood is getting to you a little Prim." I add, catching the small reflect of pain in her eyes.

"It's not!" She shouts, lashing out suddenly at me, showing me a side I never see of Prim. Angry.

"It's okay if it is.." I say gently, resting a hand on her shoulder. "It's not for everyone."

Prim normally is fine with the things my mother has to work with, being one of the first people to run into a situation where there's injured, dying, bleeding people and even animals (especially animals). But there have been times, when Prim has locked herself in her room, not talking or eating for days after witnessing incidents like now. There will _always _be a part of me cursing my mother for showing Prim such things at her age.

"I'm fine!" She shouts at me in answer. Water building in her eyes.

The man behind her screams again, cursing through my blood. It does more to Prim this time then to me though, she cringes up, closing her eyes at the sound.

"Prim, your coming home with me." I say, gently and quietly.

"No I'm not! You can't make me!" She screams, opening her eyes.

"Prim-"

"I'm fine! God Katniss, you treat me like that damn little girl I use to be! I'm not that anymore!" She shouts again.

Prim. Who I've never seen cuss, rarely seen yell (especially at myself or mother) has turned into someone else at this moment. A person, I again, blame my mother for. I know Prim doesn't mean her words, I know she's stress from what's around her. Our mother relies to much on her for doing this stuff. It's finally backing up and breaking down Prim, I can't let our mother do this to her.

I don't look at Prim but walk past her. To where our mother is, still bent over with the man that now has two severed legs. I ignore the man, completely raged with anger that's rapidly building.

"I'm sick and tired of you turning Prim into this person she's not! Your just as selfish as ever. I had thought you changed, became a better person for her but you haven't! You have her out here doing all your dirty work and I'm not going to let you!" I shout at her, ignoring the looks I'm receiving from the grieving family of the man.

My mother stands, looking at me intently. Wearing the same unmoving, unemotional face she wears when I'm angry with her. She tightens her jaw. I clinch my own before I'm aware of it.

"She's coming home and I'll be damned if I let you do anything to help my husband." I say quietly but sternly.

I turn around quickly, trying my best not to give time for her to answer but just then, as I take in the sight of an angry, upset Prim I see a small little girl, running towards me.

The girl.

_That _girl.

I had completely forgotten of the little girl who's father was in the mines. Who I had sat there and wept with. She throws herself at me, weeping and crying loudly. She wraps her tiny arms around my waist. This can't be good, I think to myself. She weeps into my shirt-

"Hey? Hey? It's okay." I say, bending down to her level. She rests her head on my shoulder. "Shh." I speak soothingly, trying to calm her of her tears.

"He's gone! He's dead!" She screams out. I hold her closely, only fathoming the pain she's going through. Thinking back to the own pain I endured after my fathers passing. "He's all I had!" She adds

"_He's all I had!"_

The words course through me much like the screams of pain I've endured today, realizing what those words mean. When there's a child (that is under eighteen) with no other blood related family members, the child automatically goes into the District Twelve Orphanage. And the orphanage is nothing like our own homes. I've never been inside, but the stories of filth, bugs and lack of proper care and food are enough to scare anyone into death. Prim and I were so close to it, but thankfully with our mother still alive (somewhat) we dodged it. There are still children though who were unwanted by their parents, being dropped off even though they _do _still have living blood related family. It's a sad place, the windows boarded up, the playground dusted with cob webs and rust. And you never see the children, only coming with the crowd of 'orphie kids' (as the kids in school call them) group from the orphanage. It's sad, they look malnourished, the whole district does but they the most.

There's no such thing as 'adoption' here in twelve. No one (especially not in the seam) can afford the outrageous 'prices' of these innocent children. Capitol people adopt children from district orphanages here and there. But never from here. There would be no decent Capitol person wanting a child from a low line district like ourselves. They mostly adopt from one, two and four(so I've heard).

"He's gone!" The girl screams again in my shoulder.

I can't let this little, beautiful girl end up like those children. But I can't take her myself.

"Hey?" I say, getting her attention. She raises her teary eyes into my view. "It's going to be alright, okay?"

She nods her head just as a Peacekeeper's is approaching us.

"Rhoda Mandor? Come with me, please." He says, it's the same Peacekeeper that approached me just minutes ago.

The girl… Rhoda looks at me, panic written across her face.

"Please don't let them take me there!" She pleads me, tears streaming from her clear grey eyes.

"Do you know her?" He asks me.

I stand, looking into the face of this man. I swallow hard. Telling him no would get her sent straight to the orphanage, but telling him yes might save her from there. _But _lying to a Peacekeeper could get me into serious trouble. I blink my eyes rapidly, trying to find the best solution. I can't afford to get into any trouble, not with Gale at home. I contemplate, wishing my father was here, telling me the right thing to do.

"Miss, I need an answer." The Peacekeeper says, raising his eyebrows in anticipation.

"I do. Yes, I know her."

I say the words before I think them, nearly slapping my hand over my mouth. I see Prim behind the man crossing her arms, not appearing angry but confused.

"I know her too sir." The girl speaks to him, turning around and wrapping an arm around my leg.

"Mrs. Hawthorn, I know she's not your family. She'll have to be booked into the orphanage immediately." He speaks, placing his hands on his utility belt. I stutter for a second-

"Please, I could find her a permanent home. Please?" I beg, realizing what my words intale.

"Mam, under the strict law of Panam, sector nine, I can't-"

"It's fine. Let her do it."

I turn around to see Darius, head of a certain squad. The Peacekeeper immediately stands straighter.

"Sir, with all do respect, that is unlawful-"

"Fuck the law. That's a command." Darius says in answer.

I feel two things at once, relief that this little, frail girl won't be entering the orphanage but then realization, I'm now in care of her. Our house is already much to full, Gale's mother and siblings, Prim, a baby on the way and of course, an _injured _Gale.

'_You did the right thing.'_

The words pop into my head suddenly, oddly. I know that it's right, I _am _doing the right thing. This girl lost her father, almost more then I lost. I at least had somewhat of a mother and still had a little sister. I wasn't alone. This girl. She is. I can't let her go through this, especially not the pain that she'll endure at the lose of her father by herself. She'll need me, no matter what I'm going through myself.

But I will find her a home of her own, a family that I know must take her. I rack my brain for people that I know, Mrs. Mildred, Greasy Sae. Now's not the time though. I turn back around facing Darius-

"Are you sur-"

"Katniss, it's fine. Find a home for her." He says, not smiling. I can see pain in his eyes, much like Prim. He swallows hard, dropping his gaze to the ground.

"What is it Darius?" I ask, knowing there's something he's not telling me, something weighing on him.

Of course, everything that's happened today is weighing on the whole districts shoulder. Making us each endure separate kind of pains for different people.

Just then a large hovercraft flies over the scene, heading into the meadow for a landing. It reads "Capitol News" on the side. Of course this is going to make Capitol news, not that they care about what happens here anyway. I look back to Darius, thinking maybe _that _is what was pondering him. But he looks unaffected by it, staring into the ground still. I turn my attention back to the girl, telling her to stand with Prim. Prim shoots her the smallest, weakest smile as the crying girl approaches. My mother, the other Peacekeeper, their no where in sight. I once again turn my attention back to Darius, he looks up me. Coldness in his eyes.

"Darius? What is it?" I ask again, pleading for an answer from him. Not looking forward to it.

I almost want to shake him, slap him for an answer. 'I have an in-pain husband waiting for me at home' I want to scream at him, but by his look, by the hurt in his eyes, screaming at him wouldn't help.

"Darius!?" I finally shout a bit louder.

He looks up again, shaking his head slightly. His next words sink in, hard and deep, nearly knocking the wind out of my cold lungs-

"Thom. He didn't make it.". . . . .

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_**Chapter 21 Preview: How will Katniss feel about the news of losing a friend? How will Gale take the news of his good friend being dead? What will be the story behind this little girl, Rhoda? Will Katniss find a home for this fatherless child? What will be Gale's thoughts on this new vistor? What will take place when Katniss has to retell the story of her own fathers death to her? And what strange, "secretes" about Gale will Katniss discover in the dead of night? Lots of questions! Find out all the answers Saturday!**_


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N - Hello dear readers! Chapter 21 is finally here, sorry for the delay! Now.. It is NOT my best chapter I've written.. I _H-A-T-E_this chapter, I'm sorry but I do! It turned out nothing like I wanted it to, so I apologize. Hopefully you'll still find some enjoyment to it though ;) I know I said I had big plans for it :( :( :(**

**But... I can guarantee 100% the next chapter WILL be BETTER, much better! ! My mind is already swirling with alot of really great ideas I'm excited to share. I didn't get to put a brutal point about Gale in this chapter, so expect it in the next(Chp. 22). I'm also going to uncover Prim alot more, finding out what's going on in her little brain ;). It will also be picking up a bit near the end of it. I swear.. this next chapter may change the course of the series... (Being serious!)**

**Well, thank you for the few reviews I got! My apologizes for any grammar/spelling mistakes as I did not have the time to reread/check it much. Well, Chapter 22 is a little tricky, I am both busy Wednesday AND Thursday all day. I doubt I can have it by Tuesday so right now I'm shooting to have it up Friday OR Saturday. I'm so sorry for the extra few days, it will be worth it, promises! Again, Check the Facebook page for any and all updates/previews. Enjoy this Chapter, feedback is muchly loved! - Macayla**

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Thom. Dead.

The realization hits hard and cold, knocking the wind from me. I pause, looking into the pain reflected eyes of Darius. I was never extremely close with Thom but Gale was. I think back to just last week, sitting in his living room with his family and him, talking about the future. Thom mentioned how happy he was for Gale and I, saying he hopes to find love like we have with someone. Now he'll never. How am I supposed to tell Gale this? That his best friend (besides myself) is dead? Gone? I can't, I can't tell Gale that right now, not anytime soon. I shake my head of my thoughts and turn my attention back to Darius.

"Are you sure he's… dead?" I ask, stuttering with the word. Why I ask this question I don't know.

"Katniss…" Darius begins, hanging his head low. "His body is charred but it's pretty evident." He says, shaking his head in anguish.

I think back to how Thom looked. He's the same age as Gale and not bad looking. He's never one that stood out in my mind but he was a clean cut person. His personality could be funny one second and completely serious the next, even at times he could come across as a fourteen year old boy by both looks and personalities. I'm again taken back by a flashback, not even a year ago when Gale threw me the little birthday party for my seventeenth birthday. Thom was there of course, being the life of the party. I remember him playing with Posy when no one else would, playing her 'Prince'. I sigh at the thought of the life lost, wondering how Gale will take the news whenever I muster up the courage to tell him.

"Look Kat, I've got to go. I hope Gale gets better, I'll come by tomorr-"

"677 your needed at Gate A North."

The voice rings through his radio, cutting him off from his words. He sends me a weak, unemotional smile before turning the heels of his feet and marching off to where a group of Capitol news reporters stand. My mind races with the quick thought of why this would burdened Darius so much. I've never seen him utter a word to Thom. Maybe they were closer then we thought? I shake my head (yet again) at my thoughts and turn around. Turning around to seeing a much angry, disgusted looking Prim and a broken, crying little girl.

I walk back over to them, feeling the cold safe key in my hands.

"We need to go to moms place and get the medicine." I tell Prim.

She doesn't answer, barley looks at me as she pushes through me, walking ahead of myself and.. Rhoda. The girl looks at me, tear stains on her rosy pink cheeks. I bend down, placing both of my hands on her shoulders.

"Everything's going to be okay, I lost my dad when I was twelve. I'm going to take you home until we find you one of your own." I say, trying to sound the cheeriest I can among my own grief and pain.

She shakes her head quickly, wiping her tears away with her shirt sleeve. She smiles, briefly and barley at me. I return it, grabbing her hand and leading her away from the still somewhat chaotic scene and down the seam road. I walk fast, both catching up with Prim and in the fact of getting this medicine for Gale fast.

As we take the quick (thankfully quick to our brisk walking/jogging) rout back to my mothers place I think about her. The semi-fight we had. Since my marriage with Gale over a month ago now, we've seemed to develop some relationship, especially with the news of the baby growing inside of me. But now, have I ruined it by letting my emotions get the best of me? I pray that it hasn't but I don't take back my words, I don't take back the anger I have towards her at what she's making Prim turn into. I look over to Prim as she wears a straight face, keeping her head down. I catch her a few times, eyeing the girl that's trailing in between us. She doesn't speak though and neither do I.

We arrive at our mothers home as the sun tries to peak through the evening storm clouds. I open the door to be greeted with the most unpleasant sight. Saying the home is a mess would be an understatement. The home looks like a pig sty, almost unrecognizable. There's dirty dishes beyond piled in the sink and all over the kitchen tops. I walk more into the home I grew up in to be greeted with unwashed clothes scattered through out the entire house. Trails of medicine bottles, pickings of herbs and first aid items are slung across the rooms. Old blood stains from her patients still stain the dinning room table and floor. That use to be my job, when I was younger, to wash any blood stained furniture or floor after a visit with her patients. I assume it's no ones job now, not even her own.

Prim doesn't say anything and neither does Rhoda. I walk back into the kitchen and open the small cabinet. The rusted away safe lies there. I stick the key in and retrieve the medicine, locking it back and placing the key on top of it.

"Lets go!" I exclaim to them, more in a rush then ever as we make our way back home, to Gale.

I realize I haven't been gone all that long, but for someone in Gale's pain it's most likely seems like ages, years since I've left. I run now (and so does the others) back to home, swinging the door open.

Laughing.

I hear… laughter, coming from the living room. The room Gale's in. Prim marches off immediately, locking herself in her bedroom before I have time to do or say literally anything. Rhoda stands beside me, unmoving.

"Katniss? Katniss? Did you get it? Did you get the medicine?" Hazel asks me, running to meet me at the front door. I realize her usually neatly combed hair is tangled.

I hold up the little clear baggy, showing her the pills that lie within.

"Great! He needs it so badly honey!" She exclaims, eyeing the girl next to me. "Who is this?" She asks me in a whisper, as though she couldn't hear us (though she can).

"Long story, I'll tell you later." I say, walking past her and into the kitchen, retrieving a small drinking glass from the cabinet. The girl and Hazel follow.

Hazel helps me in pouring some of the unused sterilized water into the glass from the large bucket.

"It's bad, Katniss." She says, lowing her voice. "Poor Rory's had to do exactly what you said…" She looks up at me before finishing- "Distract him. Rory's done _everything_." She stresses the word. "But it's been working." She says with a grin, an almost evilest grin. I return it with a smile.

"Good." I say, honestly.

I finish filling the glass and take out two of the pills, carefully leaving the unused ones for later. I follow Hazel into the living room, the girl behind myself. I enter just as I hear another weak laugh from Gale. I don't take in the sight of my bleeding but somehow laughing husband, but instead take in the sight of Rory wearing one of his mothers dresses, his back turned toward me. I laugh, almost dropping the glass of water in my hands.

"Rory!?" I shout, getting his and Gale's attention. He whips around, taking in the sight of me, his mother and Rhoda. "You've never looked better." I joke, surprising myself at my calm attitude. I walk up closer to Rory, dropping my face to his- "You may want to wear a slip next time, though." I joke again, getting a pretty hearty laugh from Gale on the floor.

I turn around to see Hazel laughing loudly and Rhoda with a straight face.

"Katn-"

"Oh. Yes, sorry!" I exclaim at the sound of my pleading husband on the mattress on the floor.

I step past Rory and over to Gale, kneeling beside the mattress. He's still in somewhat of a sitting position, sitting slightly upright by the front of the couch, so I leave him for the time being. I hand him the two large pills and the glass of water, each at a time since his other arm/hand looks to be broken, It's wrapped in linins and I haven't seen him move it much. He gulps the water quickly, emptying it dry. I take the cup back as he speaks-

"What's… wrong?" Gale asks, trying to sit straighter, causing a slight moan to escape his lips.

Gale must sense something, that the death of Thom is weighing heavily on my shoulders. Maybe he sees the same pain and grief I saw in Darius' eyes? I swallow hard, attempting to do something I'm horrible at, especially with Gale… lie.

"Nothing's wrong. Just tired." I answer, smiling weakly afterwards. He doesn't buy it though, I can tell.

"An…d who's sh…e?" He asks, pointing at the girl who wears a sad, lonely face.

I lean in closer to Gale, realizing Hazel went to help Rory change most likely, leaving just the three of us.

"She… her, ah, Dad died. She'll only be staying for a few days at the most, I promise-"

"She's.. fine. S…he can stay a…s long as sh…e needs to." Gale says, realizing no doubt the connection I'm sharing with her. He smiles, weakly.

"Just rest some Gale." I say, stroking soothing circles on his good arm. He nods his head slightly, closing his eyes.

After several minutes, at least thirty, he finally falls asleep. I think back to what my mom said, but I ignore it for now, knowing he needs sleep. I lie there with him for a good few minutes before Hazel comes back into the room, introducing herself to the girl. Rhoda's shy, sheepishly shaking Hazel's outstretched hand.

"Katniss honey, I'll find a place for her to sleep tonight. The boys can sleep on the floor." Hazel says, sounding more cheerful then ever.

I answer with a shake of my head, thankful for one less thing for me to be worried about. Rhoda follows her up the stairs and into the bedroom. It's at times like these that I'm grateful for her, for her motherly help. I turn my attention back to Gale, sleeping peacefully with the medicine now. 'How am I supposed to tell him Thom's dead?' I ask myself the question, pondering my heart with every beat. I can't tell him… but I have to, sooner or later.

"Hey Catnip." Gale says as he wakes. I'm nearly taken back by the changes in his voice. It went from being strained and pained to being back to his normal self.

"Hey hon." I respond, bringing my lips to his forehead.

"And after all I've been through I don't deserve one on the lips?" He exclaims, grinning afterwards. There's nothing that could make me happier, him not in pain.

"Well, I guess since you've been such a good boy." I say, a bit too seductively for the moment.

I bring my lips down to his, feeling the now much cooler warmth. Gale kisses back this time, trying to use his tongue.

"Gale!?" I say, pulling back from the kiss. "I assume you feel better?" I add, laughing a bit under my breath.

"After what I've been through today, yes, I do. Just stings a little… my skin." He answers, raising his good arm up to his vision.

He does look much better then he did before, his skin is back to a baby pink and Hazel must have managed to get the chunks of clothing out of his skin. His eyes are brighter and there's no evident blood on his skin. I pray that he gets back to himself… soon.

"Well, it's going to." I say, in answer to his comment. He smiles, which I return.

He mentions Rhoda again, speaking that he understands why I want to help her. The conversation feels so good, so much like Gale's back, and though he is, his next comment threatens me to lose the bit of calm that was over me. In fact, I _do _lose it-

"… maybe Thom and his family will take her. Thom would love to have another sister." Gale says, sounding firm and confident.

"_No, Thom's dead Gale." _I want to say, the truthful answer would be saying this. But no, I lie-

"Yeah, maybe." I answer, dropping the heavy gaze.

"Katniss, there's something your not telling me." Gale says, sitting more upright.

Do I tell him? Why am I finding it so hard to? Is it because of the own pain Gale's enduring already that scares me? Why? I scream the word at me- Why?

"It's nothing Gale." I say, staring at the blood stained linins.

"Stop lying to me." He says, sternly. Gale's officially back now.

"I'm not!"

"You are! Is it something to do with the baby?" He asks me, showing evidently the lose of patients he has.

"No, no! I'm just tired, that's all." I answer, finally looking into his grey eyes.

"You _have _been through a lot today." Gale says, taking my hand in his. His eyes search me, he does this to me at times, the times I'm not being honest. He's done this since that day I met him in the woods all those years ago.

"Well so have you." I say, trying to steer the conversation back to him. Off of me, off of Thom, off of death.

"I know, but I mean you, with the baby." He says, squeezing my hand slightly.

"Yeah, I have." I respond. I don't tell Gale that I almost lost our child… I can't tell him that yet either.

Why am I keeping these things from my husband?

XX

Soon the evening turns into night. The sound of Hazel and Rhoda in the kitchen cooking dinner calm me of sorts as I lie with Gale, my head resting gently on his good shoulder. Posy sits with us since she and Vick have returned, filling Gale in on the days entail. I listen to her intently, smiling as she adds every detail. Of course this day was no different to her then any other, too young to understand the grief and pain that took place today.

"Posy?!" Hazel calls from the kitchen.

The next thing Posy does nearly brings tears to my eyes, why I'm not sure, I'm not the emotional type. Posy jumps up, bringing her lips softy to Gale's forehead and whispering-

"I'm glad you're my brother."

With that she springs up, not acting as though she made Gale's horrible, painful day a bit brighter. She skips off into the kitchen, answering with a 'Yes mama?'. Gale smiles, looking the most peaceful I've seen him of the day.

Hazel makes squirrel bean soup. I take my bowl, sharing it with Gale in the living room while the others eat in the kitchen. Prim doesn't say anything and neither do I. I hear the others try to spark conversation up with Rhoda, but I don't hear her speak, not much. I try feeding some of the soup to Gale, which he refuses, speaking that he's not hungry-

"… I'll go hunting with you after your work." He says after I tried getting another spoonful in his mouth.

"Be serious…" I say, knowing Gale's in no shape to be outside, his skin is much to sensitive, amongst other things. "You can't! Just because you feel good now doesn't mean you will tomorrow." I add.

"You annoy me." He says, scowling at me.

"Ditto." I add, laughing briefly.

After a short… 'conversation' I win. I hunt tomorrow by myself. But then a thought hits me-

"Hey!" I get his attention after several minutes of silence, setting my empty bowl on the ground. "I could take Rory, you know we've been needing to teach him to hunt with us!" I say, slightly excited at the thought of Rory joining me in hunting.

"No, he's too young." Gale answers, confidently.

"He's eleven Gale." I say.

After yet another 'conversation' I win, Rory joins me. 'Only because I'm pregnant.' as Gale put it.

"You get your way too much." Gale says, raising his eyebrows at me.

"Only 'cause you let me." I return, bringing my lips inches from his.

"That's because I love you." And with that I close the gap between on lips.

XX

I'm remaking my bed on the couch this time after washing and changing in my pajamas, when I take notice of the dimly lit home. Prim and Posy have retired to bed, Hazel and the boys to theirs (The boys on the bedroom floor). I sigh as I walk into the kitchen, heading to the table and counters to blow out the remaining burning candles. As I lean over the table to do so I hear light footfall from the stairs, looking I see Rhoda, silent tears coming down her face.

"Hey!" I say, trying to sound the cheeriest I can for her.

She walks the remaining few, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"I miss Daddy." She speaks, choking the words out.

I swallow hard, being struck back of the unwelcome memories of my own fathers death, the own pain I felt. She's younger then me, much frailer then I was at the time of my fathers death. She looks no older then seven. I walk over to her, bending down to her level-

"It's going to get better, I promise." I say, speaking honestly.

"But he's dead and… and gone!" She chokes out. I wipe the tears off of her cheeks, taking her hand and setting her in my lap at the kitchen table.

"I know. But it does, it gets better. I lost my father too…" I begin, taking a deep loud breath. "It was hard. I had a sister to look after, my mother went into depression. I was alone too…" I tilt her chin, forcing her to look at me, "I had to be brave. I was weak though, I felt like I was weak. But I wasn't. I began providing for my family, later meeting my husband. It gets better Rhoda." I speak, kissing the top of her forehead. "I'm not going to abandoned you, your safe and sound with me." I rub her back, pushing away my own tears at the memory of my fathers death.

She shakes her head, removing herself from my lap and back up the stairs. I sigh, wishing she'd talk more as I make my way back into the living room, lying down next to a sleeping Gale before finding my own sleep, my own nightmare filled sleep.

_Images of a young, beautiful little boy fill my sleeping head. The image progresses, each showing a different scene in this young boys life. I stand, watching as the scene turns into a kitchen, the young boy playing, banging on the pots and pans as his pregnant mother tries to stop him. It's a beautiful image, amongst the noise and chaos. The scene drastically changes, a young teenage boy, playing make-believe with his younger brother. The next scene sends me Into a vision I never wanted to imagine, the image of Thom, lit into flames screaming, screaming for help. I run to help him, being pushed back by people, strangers as people watch, watch the man burn. I scream, scream his name at the top of my lungs…."Katniss!? Katniss!?" I hear though my screams, echoing my pain. "Katniss!?" I hear again. I scream Thom's name louder and louder… and louder…._

"Katniss!?" My eyes fly open to the image of Gale, barley but hanging over me, shaking me slightly. "Kat!?" He says, at the sight of my waking eyes.

I cry. Before I can stop it… I cry. Tears fall from my face. Gale lies back down, pulling me closer to him, causing a slight moan to escape at his doings, no doubt the pain it caused him. I continue to cry-

"It's just a bad dream Katniss.. It's ok." Gale says, soothing my unbraided hair.

"It wasn't! It wasn't a dream!" I shout through my tears, this time… being honest. It wasn't a dream… he's dead.

"Katniss that's nonsense.." Gale replies, shifting his painful legs slightly.

I sit up, looking into the eyes of my husband, my husband that deserves the truth, no matter how painful it is for the both of us-

"Thom's dead, Gale! He's dead!" I shout, too loudly for a sleeping house, through my chaotic sobs.

It's as though something heavy was sitting on top of me, instantly I feel relief. The weight that threatened to crush me ceases, I feel finally free. I can barley see Gale's face through the darkened living room, but confusion, misunderstanding immediately appears. I did the wrong thing, I think to myself, but I didn't. I've been lying to my husband all day and I'm sick of it.

"And I thought our baby was dead this morning!" I shout out again, trying to undo anything I didn't tell Gale.

His face again appears with confusion. A thin line forms between his eyebrows. 'Say something Gale!', I want to scream at time, 'Say a damn word'. He reads my thoughts-

"But, the baby? She's okay?" He asks, ignoring the comment about Thom completely. I wipe my tears from my cheeks.

"Yes. Fine." I reply, sniffling my snot back.

My crying ceases to a point, but the image of a burning Thom reappears in my head, resuming my chaotic sobs.

"Shh, Katniss. It's okay, he's in a better place now." Gale says, speaking calmly and collectively.

Calm? Saying Gale's taking the news honestly would be truthful. But thinking I should have known, Gale isn't a 'cryer' or overly emotional person, he's most likely hiding whatever feelings are threatening him… which I hate. But I do the same… in a way.

"How do you know?" I respond, my vision becoming blurry with tears.

Gale shifts a bit, the medicine given an hour ago starting to take full effect. He tilts my chin down, causing me to look into the matching grey eyes we share-

"Remember that day? When we were on the back porch when my mom was away? You pointed out the suns rays, saying each one is a loved one passed away. Remember?" He asks me, speaking softly to my hurting soul. I nod my head in answer, remembering it well. "And how you pointed out the two, the two of our fathers?" I nod my head again. "Well now there's a third one to add, Thom." He finishes, pulling me down by my arm next to him.

He plants a soft, lingering kiss on my lips. The kind of kiss that sends the oddest, coldest but somehow shivers up and down my spine. The kind of kiss that comforts me, no matter what my pain is. I kiss him back, being careful leaning slightly over him. If I'm causing him any pain, he doesn't show. Our lips form together as one for what seems like eternity before Gale pulls slightly back, running his hand through my hair.

"Rest Katniss." He speaks, obviously mimicking my earlier tone.

I lean down, resting my head gently on his shoulder. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath but it doesn't work. The image of a burning Thom reply over and over and over, and fire burns brighter in the dark. I open them, knowing I won't sleep tonight, knowing I'll be haunted by this nightmare for days, weeks. I lie there, pretending to sleep for the sake of Gale. But Gale… that person who knows me far to well-

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks me, after at least ten minutes of pure silence. I sigh, realizing he knows I'm not sleeping, only keeping him up.

"Fire burns brighter in the dark." I say quietly, whispering it through the dark. The dark that seems yet bright in the image of a burning man.

Why I say it, I don't know. It will make no sense to Gale, who didn't see my dream, who had enough of his own fire today. I realize I shouldn't have said it, possibly sparking an unpleasant memory from Gale who's been through fire enough today. The sound of the night animals outside weave through the silence as Gale doesn't respond. Finally, he does-

"You're right. But what happened in a small room, with a lone, small candle burning?" Gale asks me, I never see him speak like this.

"I… I don't kno-"

"The darkness consumes it, being too big for the fire. This time, were the darkness, overpowering the flames." He tells me, squeezing me harder against him.

I swallow hard, knowing his wise words are right. Gale rarely speaks like this, but when he does, it sends the most calmest waters over me. I wonder if this is what Gale told himself, as he was in the burning mines? I throw the thought away, craning my head up and looking at my husband-

"You're right." I respond, a small smile formed on my face.

"I'm always right." Gale says with a wink.

I lower my head back down, finding a sleep filled with _fire_, but darkness, _consuming_ darkness….

* * *

_**Chapter 22 Preview: What will Katniss think when she starts to discover hidden things from Gale's past? What will happen when Katniss has a serious conversation to Prim, about life, growing up? What will take place when Hazel and the kids are able to move in next door early? Will little Rhoda find a forever home, in possibly the most unlikeliest of places? And what will come down when Katniss shares an interesting moment with a visiting Darius? Questions will be answered, things may never stay the same for the Hawthorn gang. Find out Friday!**_


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N - Well... It's HERE... EARLY! AND... It's LONG! Can you believe it? I wrote this chapter most of the day yesterday(Monday) and finished writing the last half a few minutes ago. I can't believe I got it up when I was _wishing _I could. Anywho, this chapter... it's got alot of stuff packed into it, alot of things that may change the course of the series!? I like this chapter alot! And again, it's long! (Over 6,000 words!)**

**Thank you for my two reviewers! Firework7, thank you for always reviewing each chapter, that means alot to an author like myself! I'm not happy it made you _cry_, but I'm glad to see I got some emotion from my readers, that's my goal ;). And Cocoa, oh you'll get some Darius near the end of this chapter! I'll add some Madge SUPER soon for you too, I like writing her as well. (But Darius is my favorite!)**

**Well, I'm really speechless as far as describing it or talking about it. This chapter holds _alot_ of information that is going to be _big_ in the rest of the story. Also.. I'm _considering_writing a third installment, but again, JUST considering! Would you guys want a third book if I can fit it into the plot? It would most likely be much short, conclusion of sorts to the already ending I've been thinking about. Let me know.**

**Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this chapter, and I'm S-O glad I could get it up early, days early! :D Now, I'm planning on Chapter 23 to be up either Saturday OR Sunday, I'm actually shooting for Sunday right now. Oh! And I haven't forgot the Katniss is 'pregnant', once some of the drama dies down, I'm going to start writing about how she's taking the pregnancy more, and write more about the baby. Anywho, ENJOY! And remember, Reviews are _ALWAYS_ appreciated for an author, any author!:) They truly keep my going. Much love to all - Macayla**

* * *

I wake to the sound of nothing in particular, just the sound of feet shifting on the old wooden floor boards. I open my eyes to be greeted with Posy's face just inches from mine, our noses just barley touching. She grins, wide at the sight of my waking eyes, scooting even closer to me.

"Good morning, Pos." I speak. Her grin becomes wider, so wide it must hurt.

"Good morning, Kat Kat." She responds.

I smile at her, sitting up and looking past her, to where Gale lays. But there's something missing…

Gale.

I look back to Posy, panic immediately setting in.

"Where's Gale?" I ask her, the panic showing.

"In the kitchen." She answers, like it's nothing.

I jump up, running into the kitchen. I hear Posy following behind me. I'm greeted with everyone in there, making or eating what breakfast can be found. I spot Gale, my mother helping him into a chair at the table. I feel instant anger, anger at my mother for making a burn victim walk. But not just any victim though, my husband.

"Mom!?" I shout at her. It doesn't come out loud though considering the noise from the others through the kitchen and home.

"Good morning sweetheart!" She responds, keeping her eyes focused on Gale, acting as though our little 'fight' never happened yesterday.

"What are you doing?" I ask her, stepping a few feet closer. I spot Rhoda and Prim sitting across from him, eating something. " He can't be doing th-"

"Katniss, I'm doing better." Gale speaks, looking past my mother and at me. His eyes are still bright and his hair is back to being neatly combed. A fresh set of clothes to top it all. His voice sounds better, remarkably better.

"Sweetheart," My mother begins. "I wouldn't do anything to harm Gale more. I know what I'm doing." She says, turning around to meet my eyes.

By what my mother is wearing I can tell she's been with her patients all morning and even all night. She's wearing the same clothes yesterday, completely stained with old and somewhat fresh blood. Her hair is in a bun at the back of her head instead of her normal braid. For a split second I feel somewhat guilty at lashing out for her, knowing she's puts the pressure on Prim only to release some of her own. But I quickly throw it out of my head… only to return.

"I know." Is the only words I can find to reply to her.

I smile briefly at Gale before making my way to where Hazel stands in the kitchen. I come up next to her to find her making jam and toast from the bread Peeta Mellark dropped off for Gale yesterday.

"Good morning dear!" She greets me. "I have an unexpected meeting at the Justice Building this morning!" She says, sounding the cheeriest I've seen her in a while.

"For?" I ask kindly, ignoring my own thoughts.

"I think the new home! A Peacekeeper came by a bit ago, telling me to meet them at ten." She replies, spreading some of the jam on a piece of toast.

"That's great then?" I respond, asking more then saying.

"Yes, I believe so! Unless of course, the house falls through?" She answers, looking up briefly to me. "But positive attitudes are the start!" She adds, letting out a happy squeal when she finishes.

I turn around after Hazel has given me my breakfast to the sight of Posy sitting happily at Gale's lap.

"Posy! You might hur-"

"I'm fine, Catnip!" Gale shouts above me, obviously annoyed at my over protection.

My mother scurries over to me, smiling wide the best she can amongst her utter exhaustion.

"Katniss baby, He's doing much better. Most of his burns are minor thanks to you." She says.

"Me?" I ask, being completely lost at what she means.

"The medicine, the burn medicine. Because you were able to put it on him so fast it healed the wounds quicker then average. Their still extremely sore though, but new skin's already beginning to form-"

My mother continues, using medical technical terms that mean nothing to me, she might as well be talking to a piece of wood. I cut her off from her words, being annoyed-

"So he's better?" I ask, wanting nothing more then a 'yes'.

"Yes." She echoes. "But he still has a lot of healing ahead. I don't want him out of the house for at least a week though, his skin is very sensitive to sunlight right now-"

My mother rambles on and on yet again with her medical knowledge. I sigh a few times loudly, trying to give her a friendly hint to shut up. It doesn't feel right anymore to yell at her, no doubt images of my fathers death have been playing inside of her head.

"Thank you." I say, cutting her off from her words.

"No problem baby. Oh! How is that little grandchild of mine?" She asks, sounding oddly cheery for the way she looks.

"Great.." I say, telling her nausea hasn't hit and I've had no other symptoms lately.

"Oh you will. Enjoy it while you can!" She responds, walking past me and toward Hazel.

I take a seat at the table, sitting next to Gale while we all scarf down our breakfast. I see Gale eating, which is a good sign. After I've ate and changed into my work clothes, the old black skirt I hate and a yellow ruffled top, I rest with my hand on the front door knob, waiting for the others.

"Katniss?" I turn around to see Hazel, smiling brightly at me. "I'm going to have to leave Posy with Gale for a bit, while I make that meeting at the Justice Building." She says, raising her eyebrows slightly. "But don't worry, I had a little 'conversation' with her." She adds, changing her tone slightly at the word.

Don't worry? How am I not supposed to worry about a four year old taking care of an injured person? I don't tell Hazel this, seeing the own worry in her eyes already. I look over her shoulder, seeing Gale sitting up (in an awkward position though) on the couch, Posy sitting next to him with what appears to be a book. I turn my attention back to a waiting Hazel-

"It will be fine." I say to her, saying it to myself just as much. She nods her head in answer.

Not a minute later I lead the pack of kids, Prim, the boys and Rhoda down the seam road and toward the school. Rhoda looks to be wearing some of Prim's old clothes. 'Good, maybe Prim is back', I say to myself. I look over to her now, she's laughing briefly at a joke that Rory must have told. I make a mental note to have a talk with her after school, about what I don't honestly know. I also see Vick trying to spark a conversation up with Rhoda, reminding myself they must be around the same age. That's a good thing, a really good thing.

"Rory?" I say, getting his attention "Your coming hunting with me later." I mention.

Immediately his eyes light up, dropping whatever conversation he was in the middle of.

"Really?" He asks, in almost utter disbelief that I would take him.

"Yeah. Gale can't go and it goes a lot faster when you got a partner." I respond, smiling afterwards.

"Awesome!" He shouts. "Gale never takes me with him!"

"Well now you are. Were hunt at dusk." I say, thinking it will give him time to do any homework.

"It's a date!" Rory says, winking at me when he finishes.

Classic Rory…

XX

The school bell rings, finally, signaling our lunch break. I give the good minute or two it takes for all the young children to line up before leaving the classroom. I make my way quickly down the winding hallways and into the large cafeteria at the end of the school. The large, tall room is filled with children, eating their small lunches, if they even have that to eat. I find the spot I'm leaning to sit at every week, a little table in the corner. School guidelines say I'm not allowed to eat with any students, so sadly I can't sit with Prim or the boys. I'm just starting to eat the lunch that Hazel kindly packed for me, left over squirrel bean soup from last night when a figure takes the seat across from me-

"Good morning, Mrs. Hawthorn"

I look up to see Principle Maddox slipping into the chair, his straight hair falling perfectly past her shoulders. I smile in reply, getting the most uncomfortable chill whenever she's around. She doesn't say much to me, but when she does, I wish she'd leave me alone. Like now.

"I just wanted to say I've heard a lot of positive remarks about you, Katniss." She says, leaning back and crossing her arms.

I smile again, not knowing the words to reply. I swallow the bite I had in my mouth,

"Good." I reply, taking another bite of my lunch.

She leans forward again, resting her crossed arms onto the table. There's always been something I don't like about her, maybe it's her out of place looks that does it for me.

"Yes. And I was wondering, if you would like to be promoted to Assistant Principle?" She asks, smiling wide.

I nearly, no I do, I choke slightly on the bite I was swallowing, coughing quickly. Assistant _Principle_? I ask myself in my head. Usually people from the seam, like myself rarely get jobs like I have already. Being the music teacher already is a big thing for someone of my 'status', even though they barley pay me. If I had been a merchant kid, they'd be paying me double, triple. But Principle's Assistant? That's the next highest job in this school.

"What?" I ask, letting the unprofessional words slip before I can stop them. I sound like a ten year old who just found out she's punished for a week. It doesn't take Principle Maddox by surprise though, her smile widens, laughing.

"Yes, Katniss. I know it's a big responsibility that you'll need to talk to your husband about taking. But just think about it? Please?" She says, becoming more serious with her last words. "My old Assistant had to resign this morning, I really need someone fast." She adds after a few seconds. I shake my head-

"I'll think about it." I reply, honestly.

Will I take it? I have no clue. I think back to my words I had just told Gale, about wanting to quite my job for the sake of raising our child. But a Principle Assistant will be even a busier job, running around the school and doing any work that Principle Maddox tells me to do, giving no lip. That's the hard part. And what about the music program? I can't abandon it, not now. Not after the work I've been putting in to it. The smiles of the children as I play the tunes on the piano, their cheery sounding voices overflowing the room. I can't, I can't leave them. But what if pays more? With Gale possibly being out of work for the next few weeks, _any _extra money will be grateful.

Principle Maddox winks at me before getting up, leaving my vision with the words hanging in the air. Maybe I should take it? Someone from the seam as I would be lucky enough to ever even work in the school, let alone be offered one of the highest jobs in the town, especially at my young age. I continue back to my eating, letting the words pop into my head-

'_Asst. Principle Hawthorn_'

XX

I'm leaving the school building and out of the school yard when I decide to make a quick visit to the Hob. I walk through the town, letting the strong wind carry my braid behind my back. The town is remarkably empty for the time of day, an hour past noon. But school is still going, plus the effect from yesterday still hangs into the districts peoples hearts, even in my own.

I make it to the hob, taking out the three small coins I received from work today. The Hob is quite busy though, considering the deserted streets just outside. I find Greasy Sae's booth a small sigh plastered on the front of the booth-

'_No food. Come back soon'_

"Hard to believe, huh?" I turn around, being greeted then no other then herself, Greasy Sae. She steps closer, reading my confused expression. "Ain't got any meat, sweetheart." She sighs loudly. "I think were approachin' one of those dreaded starvation plagues again." She shakes her head, taking a seat behind her booth on the stole.

Starvation plagues? By her words I'm not certain at what she means. People die from starvation everyday here, at least once. But there are times, when the district goes through a 'food drought', resulting in more starvation deaths then usual. I assume that's what she means by her words. I smile sadly to her in reply.

"Well…" She says loudly, changing the sad subject. "It's a long time no see for you!" I laugh briefly, realizing it has been longer then usual since my last visit.

"Just been busy." I reply.

"I'm sure you have." She replies with a quick, almost unnoticeable wink. "So what's new for the Hawthorns?" She asks, smiling broadly.

"Nothing mu-"

I stop mid-sentence, contemplating the one person I can trust the most besides Prim and Gale. Should I tell her? Of the baby? I realize the only people we have told is our own family. I find my lips forming a wide smile before I can stop them, the next words slip before I can do anything about it-

"I'm pregnant." I say with a wide excited smile, dropping my other sentence completely.

"Oh my goodness!" She shouts, loud enough for the vendors around us to turn slightly, giving us a questioning look.

"What's all this 'oh my gosh'n' about!?"

I turn around to see a Peacekeeper, Lance standing directly behind me, throwing his hands in the air at mock of Greasy Sea's loud remark.

Besides Darius, he's one of my favorites, being around the same age as him. He looks like he could be straight out of the seam, with his straight black hair and olive skin. Only his eyes are a piercing blue. He has a funny attitude much like Darius, being funnier then him at times. I've only come across him at times though, not saying much to each other.

"She's pregnant!" Greasy Sae shouts.

I say this for the first time since I've known Greasy Sae, most of my life, but I have the urge to come behind her booth and slap her on the back of her head, hard. If there _is _one thing I know about Lance, is that he's extremely close with Darius, and if Darius finds out? Forget it, the whole district will know in a matter of minutes. I sigh loudly, letting my jaw tighten before I can stop it.

"Well, well, well. Someone had a little, too much fun." He responds, winking seductively at me. I scowl at him. "Just joking with you girlie." He adds, holding his hands up in mock surrender.

He treads off, laughing to himself as he goes. All I can do is pray he won't tell Darius, I'm sure he will though. Greasy Sae must read my disappointed reaction.

"Was I not supposed to tell?" She asks, sounding like an innocent little girl.

"Doesn't matter." I say, setting the coins down on her booth, stacking them.

"Well it sure does if I wasn' supposed to!" She counters back, eyeing my dropped gaze.

"Really, it doesn't." I respond, half way honest. People will learn soon enough, I won't be able to hide a baby bump.

Hide? The word sticks in my head suddenly, forgetting the scene around me. Why _am _I trying to hide this? Sure, it wasn't planned or necessarily 'wanted' but why would I hide this news that most people take joyfully. It's happy news.

"Really Sae." I add after a few brief seconds of silence, adding a hint of a smile.

"Ok." She responds, returning a bigger smile.

I quickly make my way through the Hob, picking up some yarn for Hazel as a sort of 'thanks' for being such a big help as they stay with us. I haven't (or Gale) needed to cook dinner once since she and the kids have been here, she's done most of the laundry and sweeping too. I pick up a few near spoiled vegetables for cheap and call it done.

I make my way quickly down the seam, worrying about Gale. I have no doubt he's fine, but there's always worry when it comes to the people we love. I enter the house at the smell of something, sweet. I find Hazel bent over the stove, humming as she stirs something in a large pot. I clear my throat, at the realization that she didn't hear me enter, setting my game bag down on the counter and pulling out the few vegetables I was able to get. Hazel notices me, running up to me and holding out something in the palm of her hand. Her cheerful, giddy expression written across her face.

"It's ours!" She says, laughing with glee. I realize the object in her hand is a key, a rusted brown key. "The house is filthy but I'm going to start cleaning it after I make this pie!" She says, gesturing with her head towards the stove.

"That's great, Mrs. Hazel!" I reply honestly. But I can't argue that I'm going to miss them, but I can't argue about having my bed back either.

I pull out the yarn I purchased from the Hob for her, which if course she accepts with the most grateful heart. I always wish I could have an attitude like that, but in away I'm glad I don't. Having that type of personality gets you nothing in this district.

"I went to the Hob this morning.." She says, walking back to the stove. "The people are so rude there!" She lets out.

I hold in my slight laugh at the thought of sweet Hazel in the Hob. Her words echo my exact thoughts about her attitude. Of course the people would come off as rude to her, they're no where near nice in that place. I've even seen Greasy Sae get hostile with a few customers before.

"They can be." I reply, taking off my coat and finding the hook on the wall.

"Well, the pie is cooking and I'm going to make a quick trip to the house if you don't mine, now that your hear with Gale." She speaks, turning to my gaze.

I reply with an 'of course' and she's out the door before I can say anything else, she adds though that Posy's in the backyard playing.

I walk into the living room to find Gale, sitting completely upright in the large chair in the corner. One of his arms wrapped in a make-shift sling, the scare on his forehead remarkably noticeable. His skin though looks better, every time I see him.

"Hi." I say, getting his attention to his dropped gaze at his book in his lap.

"Hey, Catnip." He replies.

I laugh briefly at his old nickname for me, remembering the old tale of how it came to be. I walk over to him, planting a soft kiss on his lips.

"What'cha reading?" I ask, pulling away our embrace.

Gale doesn't say anything but instead shuts the book, handing it to me. It's old, I can tell immediately. The top cover is barley hanging on and the written words on top are faded. I read the title-

'_Victors Of Panem'_

I look up to Gale who's studying me closely, raising his eyebrows at me as our eyes meet.

"Posy found it next door." He says, raising his eyebrows at me again.

I realize now, that that home could hold a lot of answers to our endless questions, and this book could be a start. I read the fine print beneath the title

'_1-68'_

Obviously mentioning it contains information about the Victors between the first and sixty eighth games. Even though I have no interest in the past Victors of the cruel Hunger Game's, I am interested in seeing if the book contains anything about the mysterious 'Mr. Hawk'.

"Open it." Gale tells me. I do just that, finding a written note on the front page. "Read it." Gale adds.

I do what he says again, finding the brief note a little difficult at the neatly hand written cursive-

'_Look in the most unlikeliest places brother, that's where you'll find it. _

_You're brother,_

_Coriolanus Snow.'_

I read the very last part, a date signed roughly five years ago, though the book looks much older. It's stamped with the Capitol seal in red wax at the end of the page. I turn my gaze back up to Gale who's looking at me with a shocked expression, eyebrows raised yet again. He takes the book back with his good arm from my grasp, flipping through the pages while setting it on his lap-

"It's in a different language, some kind of…" He trails off, continuing to let the pages flip.

The book it quite thick, considering what it's about. I walk to the side of the chair, watching as Gale quickly flips through it. It seems every so page is a picture, of a past Victor, accompanied by their story I'm guessing. Gale was right, the words are not written in our language. He flips to the very last page of the book, holding it up to show me, it has another short written note on it-

'_For the color of blood is darker then the darkest berry._

_C. S.'_

"That's just damn right creepy." I say, letting the words come out before I even thought them, though their true.

Gale laughs, loudly at my words. Shaking his head 'yes' in answer. It does though, I find the words creepy, especially coming from our evil President, and now with this strange mans disappearance? I cross my arms, trying to hide my thoughts from Gale.

"Posy's our new sniff dog." Gale says, closing the book and slamming it on the side table.

I laugh briefly at his words. Gale opens his good arm at me, no doubt wanting me to curl into him, to which I want to. I'm hesitant though, with his burns.

"Katniss, you really are stubborn aren't you?" He says jokingly, holding out his arm further.

With this, at the thought of Gale thinking I'm 'stubborn' I take his offer up on holding me. I take off my high heels (that I _hate_) and carefully sit in his lap, it doesn't appear to hurt him, he only shifts his broken arm a bit. I wrap one arm around his neck while his arm wraps around me. It feels good, in the quietness of the house, being finally alone with Gale. My fingers quickly find his hair while his hand finds my arm, rubbing it with gentle strokes.

"How do you feel?" He asks me, I assume about the baby.

I think about his question, how _do _I feel? It's true what I told my mother, I haven't had nausea in sometime, neither anymore symptoms. I smile boldly at Gale before answering.

"Great." I reply, no knowing any other words to speak in answer.

We sit there, enjoying our embrace. Gale doesn't respond to my answer but smiles. It's peaceful, the sound of the birds chirping outside and… that's it. It seems odd though now, being alone with each other in our own home, but there's something calming about it, soothing.

"So what do you think we should name her or him?" Gale asks me after several minutes of quietness, bringing his lips to my neck in a single kiss.

Names?

I sigh at the thought of having to pick a name for our unborn child, something I thought I'd never do, never _want _to do. But somehow I find myself excited for it, being flooded with the idea of naming him after our fathers. But they would be to painful, I'd always be reminded of my father. To add, I'd never want to name my own child after someone who has died, I never want them associated with death. A too common thing in this country.

"I don't know." I reply, rubbing my fingers gently in his dark hair.

A thought hits me after his words, just the other day when Prim had asked Gale what names he liked, he replied with the name 'Amethyst'. But his tone was almost sad, as though the name meant something to him, rather then just a name he thought was pretty.

"Amethyst?" I say, almost in a whisper. "Remember, you said you liked that name." I tell him, my voice louder.

"Oh." He replies, dropping his gaze to the necklace around my neck. "Yeah, I do."

"Why?" I press on, hoping he'll tell me whatever he's not.

"I don't kno-"

"Don't lie to me!" I joke (but serious), mimicking his tone from just last night.

He looks up in my eyes, pain shows. Not physical pain, emotional pain. What meaning does this name hold? It hold something, and I'll be damned if Gale doesn't tell me. He starts to stutter, dropping his gaze after a few failed attempts.

"Tell me Gale." I say, gently.

"It's really nothing… just…" He starts to trail off, pain being ever so evident. I rub the back of his head with my fingers, trying to relax him. "Just…. Really Katniss, it's stupid." He says, sounding more of a plead then a spoken sentence.

I keep my vision intently on his, trying to read through his thoughts. But I can't, I can't read him as well as he can me. I sigh angrily, which he catches.

"Why do you care so much!?" Gale lashes out suddenly, taking me by surprise. I try to remain calm still..

"Because it's bothering you, Gale!" I reply, the calmest I can.

"A girl, Katniss! I had a life before you!" He says suddenly again, tightening his jaw. He swallows hard before speaking again. "A few years ago…" He drops his gaze to the floor. "I really liked this girl. We were serious with each other, being honest together about a life, like we have." He looks back to me. "But she got reaped, before we could. I _did _love her, but instead I had to watch her get the life beaten out of her on live television!" He says, tightening his jaw even tighter. He starts shaking his head, complete rage coursing through him.

I stop from studying Gale, and to his words. I remember, a girl named Amethyst Weave. She was reaped two years back, dying at the blood bath of the games. Should I be shocked at Gale's words? Worried about the girls before me? No… to neither. I take his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me.

"It's ok." I speak, trying to calm him of his anger, his rage that he must have for the Capitol, for the cruel world to which we live in. He rest his head on my shoulder, sighing heavily.

"But then we wouldn't be together." He says, to himself technically. No doubt playing different scenarios in his head, seeing we wouldn't be together if she had lived.

I don't answer, I only continue to let my fingers run through his dark hair. It calms him. He's quiet for a while before his next words. He lifts his head from my shoulder, bringing his face just inches from mine-

"But I love _you_ now, I wouldn't undo it." He speaks, sounding _nothing _like himself.

"I love you too"

XX

I somehow managed to get his mind off of this girl and back to reality by telling him the complete and unabridged story of how Prim's cat came to be, and how I tried to drown him. Gale listens intently even though I've told him this story a thousand times, laughing with the story, the pain disappearing in his eyes.

"I'm back!" Hazel shouts from the front door in the kitchen.

"In here!" I respond, letting her know of our whereabouts.

The sound of multiple footfall on the wood floors indicates that school must be over, judging by the sunlight from the window it only seems to be around two, maybe half after. School must have gotten out early. Low and behold I'm right when I see Prim enter her bedroom and the boys and Rhoda up the stairs. She wears a slight smile, Vick carrying her books. I smile myself, at the thought of her different this little girls day might have been without me, without _us_.

I remove myself from Gale's lap, planting one more quick kiss on his lips before leaving, walking into Prim's bedroom. I regret it instantly as I open the door-

_Hiss…_

Instantly there's a sharp pain on my ankle, I look down to see no other then Buttercup trying to take a beating to my foot.

"Buttercup!" Prim shouts, scooping him up before I can do anything. "Sorry." She mumbles quickly to me.

I ignore the slight pain coursing through my ankle and foot and focus on my main goal of coming in here.

"We need to talk." I say gently to Prim, whose swaying that damn cat back and forth in her arms.

She moves her gaze to mine, her blue eyes sparkling. She's almost as tall as me and looks older then her ripe age of thirteen. She shoots me a smile, shaking her head 'yes'. I leave the room, letting her set Buttercup down before he could bite me again. Once she rejoins me I lead her to the front porch, each taking a rocking chair beside the other.

I look to her, her blue eyes standing out amongst most people of the seam, her blond hair neatly braided down her back which she no longer needs my help for and her clothes… much 'tighter' then I remember them being. She's no longer 'little' but indeed growing up before my very eyes.

"I'm sorry for lashing out on you yesterday." Prim says through my thoughts, no doubt realizing I'm taking in the sight of her.

"It's ok, but it's not okay what you _said_." I begin- "Prim, I know your older now but I will _always _be your sister, your big sister." She sits up straighter as I continue my words. "It's my job to care for you, to look after you, no matter how old you are or how much your growing. Your _always _be that little girl to me-"

"But I'm not Katniss, that's the point.." She cuts me off. "Your still treating me like that starving, helpless, defenseless little girl that I _was_!" She says, stressing the word immensely.

Even as much as I want to not believe her words, she's absolutely right.

"I know. I guess Prim.." I take a deep, loud breath. "I've spent all these years after dads death doing nothing more then caring for you, you being everything I cared about. It turned into a 'coping mechanism' for me I assume. I guess it's just hard for me Prim, to see you don't need me anymore."

"I'll always need you-"

"Yes, but not like before, not like you use to. You _are _growing up, and I'm sorry I haven't realized it enough." I speak, dropping my gaze to her hands that are neatly folded in her lap.

"Katniss, it's okay." She says.

"It's not okay, Prim." I bring my gaze back into hers. "I've been trying _so _hard to prevent you turning into the bad qualities that our mom and I have to offer." I feel tears pooling in my eyes. "You're so smart for your age Prim, you have dad's kind heart and patience, Mom's healing hands, my fight." I speak.

She forms a small smile, a grateful one. I return it, knowing the words I spoke are true, but…

"But I never wanted you to get our mothers depression or my stubbornness." I add. Immediately her eyebrows form a crease in between them, shaking her head.

"Katniss you're not stubborn!" She says, sounding confident.

"No, Prim, I am. I'm hard headed and I never wanted you to turn into that. I'm a hard person Prim and I don't want that for you." I answer, knowing the words I speak yet again are true, even if their hard.

"But you're not-"

"I _am_." I say, cutting her off again. "I judge people before I know them. When I saw you lash out at me yesterday, it was like looking into a mirror for me, you looked nothing like yourself but instead me. Then I turned around and did exactly that, lashing out at mom before I thought of my words and actions. Prim…" I say, taking her hand in mine. "You have _so _much to offer in this world, I _don't _want to see that taken away from you." I finish, letting a lone, silent tear fall from my cheek.

Before I'm fully aware of it she has her arms wrapped tightly around me, squeezing me softly. I know that _all, every _single word I spoke was true. Prim _does _have a lot to offer, I don't want to see her taking after myself. I hug her tightly, wishing there would be a day when I wouldn't have to let go.

XX

That sound of Posy coming up the porch stairs break us from our embrace. Her forehead plastered with sweat and her toys hanging from her hands.

"It's hot!" She exclaims, slamming her toys on the ground with a loud thump.

Prim and I both laugh, obvious to the 'not-so-hot' weather. Were two days shy of September, there's a nice breeze of fall air, chilly at times. She shoots us a quick look, walking back inside and calling for her mother.

Prim and I talk for a few more minutes, about life in general. About the baby some. It feels good to have this conversation with my sister, I never seem to find time for anymore, not like I use to.

I walk back inside with Prim to find Hazel getting a load full of laundry ready for washing. I decide to help her considering it's my house and my sheets and clothing she's starting on. Hazel and I grab all the dirty clothing and grab the blood stained sheets from the mattress, going out back to where the wash board and water spout is. It's peaceful, soothing work. We don't talk much, the sound of chirping birds, children's laughter and the sound of wind rustling through the near by trees occupy the silence. I can tell Hazel's enjoying it too, by the look of peacefulness written across her face.

After a good thirty, forty minutes of scrubbing all the clothing and sheets they're finally put into the large wicker basket, ready to be hung on the line. I volunteer to hang them since she did most of the washing. She accepts, claming she needs to check on the children. I smile, grabbing the large basket and taking it to the side of the house where two large, long clothes line wires hang. For some reason I've always found it calming, hanging clothes on the line, possibly because my father and I would do it together. Me on his shoulder's as I was too short to reach the wire myself.

I grab the tiny hooks and begin pinning clothes and sheets to it, letting the breeze rustle through my hair. I'm nearly done when I see Darius coming up the Seam road, obviously coming to visit Gale. I remember what he said yesterday, saying just that.

"Hey, Katniss." Darius says as he approaches, the look of pain and grief missing from his eyes.

"Hey." I reply, pinning a now clean sheet to the almost full line.

Darius asks me how Gale is doing, to which I reply well. He listens intently as I tell him everything that's happened yesterday with him, he comments on how well and fast he's healing-

"He is." I reply. "You can go in and see him if you want." I add, pinning one of the last clothes to the line.

"It's okay, I don't want to bother him." He answers, watching my hands and arms as they stretch to reach the wire.

"You won't, he was sitting up in the chair when I came out here." I reply, my arms stretching completely to reach the higher end of the line.

"Well, maybe I didn't come to see just him- Do you need some help, shortie?" He asks, laughing at his little 'nickname'. I scowl at him.

"No!" I answer, getting the word out quick as I stand on my tip toes.

"I think you do." He says.

Before I can stop him he yanks the sheet out from my hands, letting the pin drop to the grassy ground, also yanking the entire wire from the two poles on either end of the property.

"Good going!" I say, more jokingly then serious. I'm upset though that I have to redo most of the line, pinning the wire back into place as well.

"It's you're fault, clumsy." He counters back, shaking his head violently.

"My fault!?" I ask, jokingly again.

"Yep, it's cause you're short and stubborn." He says, shaking out the sheet in his hands.

"I'm not stubborn!" I joke back, although I am. (But not this time)

"It's okay, you're good looks make up for it." He answers, winking seductively at me.

"I'm going to hurt you one day." I say, scowling again at him as I attempt to take the sheet back, he yanks it from my reach before I could get it.

He steps closer to me, bringing his face just inches from mine.

"I'm pretty sure I can take all ninety pounds of you, even if you are pregnant." He says, winking again. 'Damn Lance', I think to myself. "They teach us in the academy how to fight, especially those girls like you." He adds, lowing his voice to a whisper, bringing his head even closer to mine.

"Like me?" I ask, raising my eyebrows and crossing my arms, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the tight space in between us.

"Yep. 'The hot ones are always the roughest'." He answers, sounding like he's quoting it. From the way and tone he uses, it doesn't sound like he's talking about fighting any longer.

Before I'm aware of it or can react, I feel his lips press against my own passionately. . . . .

* * *

_**Chapter 23 Preview: What will Katniss think about this kiss? Will she tell her husband, or hide it in fear of damaging their marriage? But is she the only one witnessing this so called kiss? What will Katniss do about the kiss? What will take place when Rory tags along hunting? Will Katniss accept this new job offer, or turn in down in fear? What other strange and mysterious things will she find in the home next door? And will little Rhoda ever find a new forever home? What do YOU think will happen? Find it all out Sunday!**_


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N - ... AND... IT'S HERE PEOPLE! First off, I want to say my deepest and my sincere apologizes to my dear, faithful and overly wonderful readers who wait oh so patiently for a new Chapter. PLEASE accept my apology with this long delay. I have been spending some much needed time with my family this week, including a day at the beach that has resulted in me being miserably sunburnt (I'm a redhead... GRRR!). Now, It's HERE! YAY! There's not a whole lot of 'action' in this chapter but you do get to see Rory's first hunting trip AND the story behind the Hawthorn family. The conversation between Katniss and Hazel in this Chapter was inspired by the latest Catching Fire trailer. "Hope."**

**ABOUT THE REVIEWS: Whew! I LOVE hearing from ALL of you! There's a bit to many for me to write out but I read EACH one! Firework7- aww, that means SO much coming from a reader! If I was good enough to publish my _own _stories I would, but I'm terrible at making up story plots:(. cow luver- BAHAHAHA! I seriously LOLed! I know one of my "Guest" reviewers mentioned me writing a Darius/Katniss fanfic after this one... I MIGHT do that but again, just a might. **

**Again, PLEASE accept my apologizes for this long delay, I needed to spend time with my family. I'm sure you all understand:). Again, there's not a whole lot of drama in this chapter but this next one (Chpt. 24) will be F-I-L-L-E-D with DRAMA! Katniss in this chapter is being weighed by what Darius did and the new job offer, she's in a way avoiding mentioning either to Gale and it's beginning to take a toll on her. In the end of this Chpt, she's pretty mmuch scared that Gale will take their child and leave, so the next Chapter will be very important. Anywho, it WILL be up either this Saturday OR Sunday. Right now I'm shooting for an update every week, hopefully soon going back to two updates every week. PLEASE keep up with the Facebook page, it will help with delays ect and so on! Anywho, ENJOY and PLEASE, PLEASE review. I don't mean to plead but it lets me know that my readers are there and that you are liking it. Tell me whatcha think!? Much love - Macayla**

* * *

Open.

My eyes. Is this really happening? It's a dream, it must be.

But it's not.

I begin to pull back, but his arms are tightly wrapped around my waist, dragging our bodies closer together until their touching. Finally I muster up all my strength and push him away from me, breaking his lips from mine.

"Darius!" I shout, coursed with rage.

He begins to laugh somewhat, finding the situation rather amusing.

"Hey look, I'm sorry." He answers, putting his hands up in defense but keeping his damn grin.

A grin at the fact that he kissed me. I bring my fingers up to my lips, at disbelief they met another mans besides Gale. It's the first time another man/boy has kissed me besides my own husband.

Darius just kissed me.

I swallow hard at those words. What does it mean? That _he _kissed me? Was it harmless or meant something? Did _I _like it?

Absolutely _not!_

But why for a split second did I get a warm, pleasant sensation that only Gale has ever given me? No. I don't like Darius, no matter what his feelings are toward me. I am Gale's and he is mine, anything else is unthinkable. I love Gale besides the matter. But why am I having to tell myself this? I sigh loudly at the site of a still grinning Darius.

"Look, I _am _sorry." He repeats after I don't answer. "Now, you can get off you're high horse my kisses usually leave on girls and we can get this line back up or you can go ahead and kiss me again?" He adds, slightly winking.

Saying I want to slap the shit out of him would be too little of a word for what I want to do to him. Darius has always been a… 'ladies man' (As Madge told me once), but I've never found him attracting. All of a sudden I'm struck with an old memory, involving Prim, at least two years ago-

I had to make a stop by the Hob one afternoon after school, having no option but to bring an eleven year old Prim with me. We were leaving when we ran into Darius, getting off from his shift. He talked to us, mostly me and cracked a few of his regularly not-so-funny jokes. After we left, Prim told me that he 'acts' like he likes me. I completely ignored her, realizing she was only eleven and knew nothing about boys, not that I did either though.

"Did you forget I'm married!?" I shout at him, anger bubbling over me before I'm aware.

Darius' face squints, making his red eyebrows rise a little higher then usual. The grin though fades, making an even face. He shakes his head slightly, dropping my gaze.

"Look Katniss, I said I was sorry. I forgot you're not like other girls." He says, finishing by meeting my gaze yet again. I hear the front door open from the house, I ignore it as my anger outweighs me.

"And what's that supposed to mean!?" I spit out, crossing my arms angrily.

"Nothing, just that your so…" He stutters-

"I'm what, Darius!?" I shout, my anger growing.

"Pure, Katniss! I've kissed a lot of married women and I guess I forgot that you're not like them-" He answers, afterwards smiling wide at something behind me. I turn around to the sight of a grinning Rory,

"Hey Rory!" Darius says, cutting his own previous words off.

Rory wears his usual, 'good mood grin', indicating he must not have seen or heard about the kiss… thank God. Rory and Darius make small talk, about the wrestling team while I attempt to hang the line back up, not thinking about the kiss.

_Not _thinking about the kiss.

After a few attempts I finally manage to hang the line back up by using an old wooden ladder from the backyard, re-hanging some of the clothes and sheets back. I rejoin Rory as Darius is making his way back down the Seam road, waving goodbye to the both of us. I sheepishly return it.

_Not _thinking of the kiss.

"So, is it time to go hunting!?" Rory asks me, filled with utter excitement.

To give him an honest answer, no. But getting an hour or two extra start won't hurt, especially not with a new hunter such as Rory. Am I nervous to take Rory hunting with me? Slightly yes. My first hunting trip with my father nearly scared me to death, but I was also a 'girl'.

"Yeah, just got to change." I answer, walking back towards the house with the basket in hand. "Can't go hunting in a skirt." I add, opening the front door and stepping inside, placing the basket on the kitchen counter.

Hazel's bent over the stove, no doubt working on that pie. Vick, Rhoda and Prim are doing their homework at the table and I can see Posy telling Gale something that must be funny in the living room, by the sound of light laughter, from the both of them. I smile, taking in the pleasant feeling my home has to give off.

_Not _thinking of the kiss.

I hurry upstairs, changing from my work clothes and into a pair of old jeans and a long sleeved black shirt, lacing my boots up. As I'm braiding my hair in the small, cracked mirror I realize how hungry I am, unusual for my normal self.

Cravings.

I can tell because chopped rabbit would be amazing right now. I close my eyes, almost tasting the pleasant, warm sensation it leaves in my mouth, getting almost dizzy at just the thought of the smell. My eyes fly back open, my stomach not agreeing with the thought.

I momentarily push the thought aside and meet Rory at the front door. He's wearing old, tattered clothes I rarely see him wear but I can't be more struck at the sight of him. Rory couldn't look more like Gale, already almost matching my height and 'big built' for his eleven year old posture, and handsome just like his brother to add to it all. I smile at him, grabbing my game bag from the table and giving Gale a quick goodbye kiss, and Posy too. (Since she stuck her head in between us.)

_Not _thinking of the kiss.

I alert Hazel that we'll be back after dinner, noting that dusk hunting trips can take well into the night. I promise to have him back by bed time though, of course Rory objects but he doesn't question his mother. We say our goodbyes, quickly heading down the Seam road.

"Sorry we have to go at dusk, it's more fun in the morn-"

"Katniss, I saw that kiss." He says, completely cutting my words off as we begin passing the rows of homes.

I stop walking, feeling somewhat parallelized, most likely making the stupidest choice. Looking into Rory's face doesn't help with getting an answer to his sentence. I haven't even thought of telling anyone about it, not even my own husband pathetically. How do I respond? That I didn't kiss him? Should I even have to talk about this to an eleven year old little boy?-

"I know you didn't kiss him." He adds after several seconds of silence, twitching the corners of his lips in sadness. "Don't blame yourself. But you need to tell Gale, he'd be mad if you didn't."

The words that escape Rory's mouth sounds nothing like himself, his usual joking, happy attitude ceases for the moment and time being. I feel a warmth that only my father ever gave me, indicating the words are meant to me by him. I smile wide at Rory, feeling somewhat embarrassed that I called him a 'little boy', when indeed he's much like Prim, wise beyond his years.

"Thanks, squirrel." I answer, putting my arm around him and leading him down the remaining road.

"Oh, but if he does that again, just let me know. I'll set him straight." He adds, winking as we approach the meadow fence.

I laugh, knowing Rory couldn't be serious too long.

_Not _thinking of the kiss.

XX

"I've just got to get my bow." I say to him as we begin to approach the tree line of the woods.

I find the hollow log I always leave my bow and arrows in and retrieve them, slinging my quiver over my back and my bow to my side. I sense Rory's eyes on my bow as I do so, an expression of amazement written across it.

"Do you think you could make me one? Now that I'm hunting?" Rory asks me, giddiness showing.

I think back to the two times I attempted my skills at bow making. It took me nearly a year to make both of them, and they each couldn't shoot further then several yards. I ended up selling one for a fair price in the Hob and I gave the other to Gale. My arrow making skills are better though.

"I can try Rory, but I'm not good at it." I answer, sighing at the thought of extra work and effort as I quietly pull out an arrow and place it on my bow strings.

"It's okay, I understand if not." He replies, somewhat pointing to my stomach. "How… is all that…the baby?" He says, waving with his words. I hold in my laugh for the moment.

"I'm fine. Just hungry…" I answer, pulling my chin up as though I can smell the chopped rabbit. My stomach quickly disagrees with my thoughts yet again.

"Well, you are feeding… two." He says, scowling almost at the end. I laugh briefly but manage to wade it off for the moment again.

"Here, take Gale's knife." I simply reply in answer, pulling the black, long knife out from the log.

He accepts it, looking at it as though he struck gold.

"Come on." I say, nodding with my head towards the woods. "Just be light of your feet and quiet." I begin to speak, keeping my voice low as we creep into the woods. "We will check the snares by the lake but you never know what you'll come across from here to there." I add.

Rory follows directly behind me, stopping when he thinks I hear something. He's nearly as quiet as Gale, not quite, but closely. I begin our track to the lake, watching my steps and surroundings as I go. We get there quickly, finding two squirrels and two rabbits tangled in the wires.

_Rabbit_.

I'm overly tempted to cook one here and now, sharing some with Rory but I know I can't. It would be selfish. I sigh loudly, showing Rory how to untangle the dead animals from the small wires. Also teaching him how to reset the snares, the best I know how to myself. He catches on quick, being better then myself, nearly as good as Gale.

"You're a natural." I speak, just as Rory sets his first snare by himself. He smiles widely in return.

For the remaining of the evening hours we hunt and gather. I teach Rory how to shoot my bow some and of course, he's good at it. This time better then Gale was. We collect an extra two squirrels, a trapped beaver from the lake and three water birds within our first hour. Rory becomes a natural at everything I teach him. I decide quickly I may be having two hunting partners now…

Just shy of complete dusk, Rory and I decide on a break. Finding a spot under an old, large tree by the lake and starting a small, fire. I take the rabbit out of my game bag, letting my craving overtake me as it becomes stronger and stronger. I start to skin it, sliding my knife just under its fluffy, furry pelt when I begin to gag at the small sight of blood.

Damn pregnancy!

Rory watches as I close my eyes, dropping my knife to the ground, still holding the rabbit though.

"Do you want me to do it?" I hear Rory ask through the darkness of my eyelids.

I shake my head 'no' in reply. Skinning dead game is something that I actually _don't _need to teach Rory, Gale taught him years ago, always being able to aid Gale and I in this area. Vick is just starting to learn, and surprisingly Posy already knows some for her young age. Prim would never come around a dead animal, I always put my game away quickly in front of her.

"Are you sure?" I hear Rory ask again, breaking me of my own thoughts.

I finally give in, shoving the rabbit in his direction. I feel the weight leave my hand, and the sound of him picking up my knife. After a few brief minutes I can hear him messing with the fire. I open my eyes to the feeling of the nausea quickly disappearing now. We wait in silence as the thing cooks, listening closely for any passing game. A bird flies by and I manage to shoot it, in one shot. Rory goes to retrieve it, coming back and adding it to my game bag. He cleans my arrow of the blood before giving it back to me… thank God.

Rory hands my some of the rabbit ,which I gladly accept, letting the delicious, fatty juices run down my chin. I hold back my smile at the pure delight.

"Have you ah, found a home for that…girl? Rhoda?" Rory asks me after he takes a large bite of his helping.

I stop chewing the bite in my mouth, realizing the answer is no. I'm still responsible for this girl who I barley know. Who story I don't even know.

"Not yet." I answer quickly, swallowing the large bite in my mouth.

"I ah, my mom has been, thinking about it too." He replies.

I look over to him, abandoning the site of my food and instead at his face. He stares at his food, jaw just slightly tightened.

"She has?" I ask, letting my curiosity take over.

"Yeah. She's thinking about taking her with us, I guess." Rory answers, finally meeting my gaze.

It wouldn't surprise me, this kind of hospitality coming from someone such as Hazel, sweet, caring, nurturing and nice. But the look Rory shows me tells me otherwise, that he isn't completely onboard with the whole idea.

"Well, that would be fun." I reply, trying to cheer the factor up for him.

"For perment Katniss. I guess 'adopt' her." He says, dropping our gaze and focusing on his food again.

Now I could understand why Rory would feel this way. Having a new little sister might not be as fun as it sounds, not after a while. And not a new 'baby' sister, but instead a new sister, a new person living with them.

"Well Rory, maybe it will be a good thing. Think positive." I reply, doing my best at something I do worst. Comforting. Words.

He smiles sadly in return, taking another bite of his food. After he doesn't speak I do the same. Thinking of the words that Rory said.

XX

"I had so much fun, thanks!" Rory says to me as we approach the house, walking the porch stairs. The windows are slightly brightened as the sun has completely disappeared, candles obviously lit inside.

"No problem. Glad you had fun." I reply, opening the front door to the sound of everyone in the living room and the TV on. The smell of something sweet hangs in the air.

_Pie_.

My stomach instantly craves it, sending my head almost dizzy.

"We are in here, dears." I hear Hazel shout from the living room.

I set my game bag down, following Rory into the living room where everyone sits, including my mother, in front of the old battered television that only works at the Capitols conveyance. A woman is on the screen, no doubt a Capitol woman, decked out in outrageous appeal. Another Capitol woman sits with her, wearing just as outrageous clothing-

"So what are your thoughts about this years Victor Tour with Victor Cato?" One of the Capitol ladies ask.

Immediately I want to step across everyone and turn the damn TV off from talking about the damn games. I'm surprised Gale hasn't yet, knowing he always feels the same way about the games as I do.

"Oh it's going to be splendid! I can't wait!" The other woman answers in her ridiculously Capitol accent.

The woman instantly looks familiar. It's our game escort, Effie Trinket. I roll my eyes at her appearance and answer. Even though she's _our _escort, District 12, she still gorges over the other popular Districts.

"Well that includes our program for tonight. And don't forget! The 74th annual Victor Tour with our very own Victor, Cato will be October 17th!" The Capitol reporter sports cheerfully. "Stay tuned for a special, interview with our very own _game _interviewer, Caesar Flickermen!".

The TV immediately clicks off after the woman's words, turning the screen back to darkness.

"That woman… she's offal strange. Isn't she?" Hazel says, no doubt talking about Effie Trinket.

"A real piece of art!" Rory jokes next to me.

I join the room in laughter. Rory is right. Anyone from the Capitol does look like a life-like art. With their crazy colored clothing, make-up and some even skin color. Just the sight of them grosses me out. Even the children don't have an option. It's the only positive living in a District… you're not considered a 'freak'.

"So, how'd it go?" Gale asks once the laughing quiet's some.

Rory walks over to where Gale still sits in the chair, filling him up on ever detail about hunting. I smile, realizing Rory is indeed good at hunting, indicating he will make a fine man one day. A supportive man for some future woman. I hold in my laugh(but not my smile) at the thought of Gale's words before… Rory and Prim together.

I shake my head of the thought and walk back into the kitchen, the sound of light foot fall behind me. The small voice's behind me makes evident it's Hazel and my mother. I turn back around once I'm in the kitchen. My mother looks revelatory better then just yesterday, or this morning. Her hair is back to it's neat little braid down the back of her neck and fresh clothes.

"Look's like Rory had a blast?" Hazel speaks, setting the empty pie plates on the counter.

I answer that he did, mentioning he was a natural born hunter, much like his brother. She smiles and simply replies, 'good'.

"I must be going Hazel, a case of the measles broke out at the Robertson's." She says, waving a quick goodbye as she heads to the door.

She shuts it quietly, not paying my any mind, barley glancing at me. Hazel catches this but doesn't say anything, Only speaking about the leftover dinner for Rory and I.

A few minutes later I sit with Rory at the dinner table. Eating a small helping of squirrel bean soup yet again. Everything is quiet except the sound of Hazel putting everything to bed, including Prim and Rhoda.

"I'll start on making you a bow soon." I speak, trying to end the every growing silence between us. Meaning my words though.

"You don't have to Katniss, I know you have a lot of other things to worry about." He answers, scraping the last bit of soup from his bowl.

At Rory's words I realize he is right, I do have a lot of other things to worry about, including work. His words trigger the memory of word eirler, when Principle Maddox offered me the Assistant Principle job at the school. I know I need to talk to Gale about this…. Among other things….

"Tucked and snuggled!" Hazel exclaims, taking a seat across from me and beside Rory. "Hurry up dear, bedtime." She adds, nudging her son's shoulder.

We sit in silence as Rory finishes before me, eating his slice of pie and placing his dirty dishes in the sink. He bids me a 'goodnight' and 'thank you' before retreating up the stairs, yawning loudly.

"I hope he didn't give you any trouble in the woods?" Hazel asks me, an eyebrow raised.

I can't help but think of the future image of Gale and I, asking others how our son or daughter was behaved to someone else. While I find my own answer to her question I take in her image. Her black hair braided into a bun at the back of her head, her grey eyes stand out brightly among her small features. You can tell she's from the Seam but the only odd difference are the light freckles dotted across her nose and cheeks. She looks rather youthful for her age, despite her busy and hectic schedule. She wears an iconic plain, yellow dress. I've never seen her in anything other then a dress.

"He was fine… of course." I answer, breaking myself of my thoughts and stares. I've always admired for the way she takes care of herself, again despite her busy life and four children (more like three now).

"Good!" She says, sighing loudly as she places her folded arms on the table.

She looks beyond me, no doubt at Gale who sits in the living room behind us. She wears a tight smile on her full lips. After a second she turns her attention and gaze back to me, striking up conversation at the fact that they will be moving in next door within the next few days.

"… I was thinking about taking Rhoda with me, at least for right now. I know you and Gale need time together before the baby, sweetheart." She says, smiling sweetly after her words.

Would I be alright with Rhoda living with Hazel and the kids, absolutely. She needs family, not Gale and I who have our own problems to sort right now, but she needs a mother, siblings to help her cope with the lose of her father. There's no telling what happened to her own mother, she needs Hazel more then myself.

"I think Rhoda would love that… living with you." I answer, swallowing my last bite of pie loudly.

"Me too!" She responds, shaking her head slightly at her words. "I think you and Gale could take fine care of her but again, you need some time together _alone _before my little grandchild comes!" She exclaims, letting a quiet squeal escape her lips after her words.

I smile in reply, unsure of how to answer her response. Of course I need, and want, that alone time with my own husband before my own child makes an appearance. I'm flooded with the memory again of the job offer, the kiss from Darius….

"That time together is very important." Hazel speaks, breaking me of my thoughts completely… thankfully. "Gale's father and I were married around your age. We knew immediately we wanted to have a baby-"

I brace myself for the story she's about to tell, but somehow I find myself listening intently to every word, every detail she expresses.

".. We tried and tried to have a baby and had no luck. It took a toll on us, not being able to have something between us that we both wanted so badly." She says, a sad smile appearing on her tired face. "We tried for three years and still nothing. Just shy of our fourth year of marriage it finally happened!" Her saddened smile fades and a cheerful expression replaces it. "Nine months later we had a little Gale keeping us up every night. _Every _night!" I smile at her words. "All worth it! All worth it though hon!" She assures me. "He was about one when we decided we wanted another, that we'd keep our children safe from the games, from starvation no matter what it meant we had to do. Well… I'm sure you can guess what happened?" She says, raising an eyebrow yet again at me.

"You couldn't get pregnant again." I answer, somehow letting the words slip before I can stop them.

"Yes. And this time, it was worse. A marriage, a toddler and the effects of not being able to get pregnant weighed so heavily on both our shoulders. It takes a hard beating to a marriage Katniss." She explains. "Another four years passed, Gale was starting school. It dawned on us that it has indeed been _four _years of trying and trying… it just wasn't going to happen again." Her sadden smile makes another appearance on her face. "We both agreed that night that we wouldn't 'try' anymore, we wouldn't expect it to happen. We had Gale and he made us happy, and that was final, this was our family."

She sights loudly and I watch as she shifts in her chair. I realize now at the age cap between the Hawthorn children, and now I understand why there is that gap.

"It was on Gale's eighth birthday, therefore four more years… roughly." She adds quickly. "That I found out I was pregnant again!" Her smile again fades into a cheerful one, brightly enough to cause one to form on my face yet again. "Nine months later?"

"Rory." I say through my smile, unable to stop myself again.

"Oh it was great! We were so happy and even Gale was excited. He happy at being a big brother!" Her smile courses through my with warmth.

The smile brought onto my own face isn't forced, in any nature. I know that Hazel's word are true, there's nothing Gale loves more then his family, especially his brothers and Posy.

Hazel goes on to tell me about Vick's coming. When Rory was three, they added Vick to their family with wide acceptance. She blinks a few times rapidly before finishing the story-

"… And then, Vick was only a few months old when we knew we had better start trying if we were going to have another one before Gale called us 'old'." We both laugh in unison. "Four and half years later we found out I was pregnant, _again!_" I smile widely. "Everything was going fine, I was within days of her coming when-"

Her expression changes from being cheerful, giddy… grateful to a dark, uneasy look. Her grey eyes begin to fill with a liquid I'm much to filmier with, tears. I oddly hold back my own. She takes a deep, loud breath in before speaking again. I feel as though I should say something, that she doesn't have to finish the story but something tells me not to, that I _need _to hear this.

"It was hard." She sighs again, filling the room with a darkness.

She remains quiet for several moments, eyeing a piece of wood sticking up from the falling apart table we sit at.

"How did you do it?" I find myself asking her, realizing I shouldn't have. But something tells me to-

She looks up to me, a tear silently falling from her eye. Her grey eyes sparkling brightly among the dimly lit table. The candle reflects off of her face, making her eyes glisten even more.

"Hope."

She simply says, her smile changes briefly to a more… satisfied smile. The word hangs in the quiet, unmoving air. She had hope. But for what? She must read my confused expression.

"Hope that things could go on, that things weren't doomed because I had lost my husband and my baby was due any day. Hope that I could tell my children everything was going to be alright, no matter how bad our lose was."

She smiles widely, grabbing my hand from across the table.

"So she came. Bright and early the next day. Your mother was much to busy with the injured miners, among her own grief." She says, pausing for a second to see if it offended me in anyway. It didn't. "It was a fourteen year old Gale and our old, elderly, sweet neighbor at the time who got her out. Among the pain and grief there was something called?" She looks at me, as thought to answer.

"Hope." I find myself saying.

"Yes, hope. When I saw that my baby was a girl I was remembered an old thing that my husband said, when he found out we were having Pos. 'I'll die before I see us have a girl'."

She sighs loudly again after her words. I repeat them to myself. Mr. Hawthorn obviously meant it jokingly, joking that they'd never have a girl. Could this be why Gale wants a girl so bad? Because he's so much like his own father?

"You'll never know how much Gale loves you." Hazel says in more of a random way, eyeing him behind me in the living room again.

My smile turns sadden at Hazel words. Of course Gale loves me, and I'm sitting here, hiding these things from him. 'Your not hiding Katniss, you just haven't found the time yet.', I hear in my head but it's a lie. I could have told him when I got home from hunting, before I went hunting… right now. I find my hands making fists in my lap, thankfully obstructed from Hazel's view.

"Do you know what Gale told me, while you were gone earlier?" Hazel asks, she doesn't wait for an answer though before she continues- "That he couldn't picture having a baby when anyone else, that he's overjoyed it's with _you_. He's got his heart set on a girl, doesn't he?" She asks, raising that eyebrow again.

I smile for an answer but my fists on my lap on get tighter, turning my knuckles white.

"Just like his father." She says, shaking her head. "He told me he wants the baby to look just like you. Beautiful, in every way." She says, smiling. "Now sweetheart, you need to get some sleep, it's late!" She adds, standing up from her chair and gathering my empty bowl and plate.

I quickly help her with washing the few remaining dishes in silence, the sound of light rain filling in where words are absent. Though my head is not absent with them though, the words of Gale hang heavily in my head-

"Beautiful, in every way."

XX

I run up the stairs quickly and shut the bathroom door tightly behind me. As I'm washing I find silent tears escaping my eyes, dropping into the water at my feet. I place both my hands over my face, asking myself why I'm crying.

Hormones.

But no. I'm crying because of the weight of the day. The weight of not telling Gale these things over fear. But what fear? What am I so scared of in telling Gale this? That he won't believe me about the kiss? That he'll be mad at me? I grit my teeth overly tight at these questions that flood my mind, threatening to drown my in my own pool of doubt and worry. It only drags me deeper as I finish washing. I step out to look into the full length mirror in the bathroom, my naked, wet, skinny figure appears. My wet hair plastered to my shoulders and back. I eye particularly my stomach, realizing it will grow… soon. Realizing I'm not beautiful, in _any _type of way. But Gale must see something, something I can't see myself.

And I'm lying to this man.

I quickly pull on my nightgown, brushing my teeth much to hard. I fly down the stairs and into the living room slash bedroom where I know Gale waits. I find him soundly asleep in the chair, clutching one of the pregnancy books. I would laugh if I wasn't drowning in my own sea of sadness, but I am. I walk over to him, carefully pulling the open book from his loose grasp, planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

"I love you." I find myself saying, even though he can't hear me.

I take the book over to where Hazel must have set up my bed much earlier. I snuggle down in the blankets, bringing the lone candle on the end table over to me, setting it above the book for light. I look at the page that Gale was opened up to-

"Being a Father to a Daughter"

A small article is written in this book about this topic. I find my teeth clenching again, but I ignore it. I ignore reading the article was well, only focusing at the quote that it written at the bottom-

"A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again"

My face squints at the odd quote, the quote that I don't quite understand. I sigh, closing the book and blowing out the candle, replacing both on the end table. I bury myself under the covers, pulling them nearly over my head.

That night I fall sleep to a dream where Gale plays with our daughter in the meadow, but I'm not there. I'm gone . . . . . . . .

* * *

_**Chapter 24 Preview: What will this dream mean anything to Katniss? Will she find the strength and courage to tell Gale these things that are burying her with burden? How will life 'readjust' when Hazel, Rhoda and the children move back out? What will take place when Katniss attends this 'odd' meeting of sorts for Prim? Will she accept this new job offer? What will happen when she faces Darius again? And what how will Katniss react when she's forced to face the grieving family of Thom? Lots of Questions! And lots of answers! All will be revelved Saturday!**_


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N - Yay, It's here and it's on time! :D I do wish it was just a tad bit longer but it's okay, I think you all will still enjoy it! This Chapter came really easily to write and I was surprised, considering the factor of the conversation that is in it between Gale and Katniss. In the last half/quarter the story picks up just a little bit. I'm also hoping within the next few Chapters to tell the story of Rhoda a little more, I know she's been a little of a mystery for you all:/. Also, I didn't get to really fit everything into this Chapter so what's not in here that was in the preview will be in the next(Chpt. 25). Can you believe were at Chapter 24 already? Crazy!**

**Thank you, Firework7(as always!), finewithnotbeingateennot, "Guest" and violinlover4ever for reviewing! They mean SO much to me! "Guest"- I'm sorry but I was with my family and I have to put my family before my writing. finewithnotbeingateennot- You know I can't get rid of Gale!;) **

**Well, I don't personally care for how I ended this chapter but I've got BIG plans for the next one! I'll start focusing alot on the baby coming up! Chapter 25 should be up either Saturday OR Sunday again. If all goes well, Saturday or even maybe Friday?! (No promises). Anywho, PLEASE review, tell me what you think and feel free to tell me what's something you would LIKE to see ? The reviews keep me going! Much**** love to all and... ENJOY! - Macayla**

***Some mild sensuality in this Chapter***

**I unofficially call this chapter: "Love and Courage".**

* * *

_I'm trapped._

_I'm stranded._

_In the Meadow. I watch as Gale chases a little dark haired girl through the tall foliage. I call Gale's name, but he doesn't answer. I call for him again, no answer. I realize I'm trapped in a box of sorts, made of clear glass. I pound my hands hard on it, screaming at the top of my lungs. But no one hears me, no one answers my pleading helpless cry's for help. I look down to see water slowly raising from the bottom of this glass encashment. The water rises, meeting my knees, my waist, my chest. I scream, loud, breathtaking screams. But no ones hears me, no one answers.. No one comes. The water rises to my neck, causing me to float with it to the top as I still watch the little girl play with Gale. I hear her shout 'Daddy' before the water invades my ears. My head is pressed to the top, I scream one last time before the water fill's my lungs, fill's my insides until darkness invades my vision._

_I'm drowning._

I sit up frantically, gasping for air like a fish out of water. I cough, expecting water and blood to fall into my lap but it doesn't. The sound of early morning birds outside fill the air where my screams of terror should be. There's the sound of light coughing coming from upstairs, signaling the brink of the morning. I don't seek out the still sleeping Gale for comfort, he'll ask questions that I'm not ready to answer.

I'll never be ready to answer.

XX

I walk through the quite, dead-like town while getting off from my shift at the school. The sound of my black flat's on the graveled ground make the only sound. I expected Principle Maddox to approach me today, about the job offer but gratefully she didn't. I don't have an answer for her either. The weight of the dream weighed heavy enough on my shoulder's to effect work. I had Mrs. Mildred play the piano as my shaky hands would not focus on the correct keys and neither my eyesight. I had to tell her of the baby, to cover up why my hands are actually shaking. My voice was pitchy and cracked, enough that one of the older, small children asked me if I was sick, Mrs. Mildred came to my rescue with an answer,

"That's not business of your own."

The child sent an apologetic smile to me, which I returned with a grateful one to Mrs. Mildred. I released the children at least ten minutes early, in fear that I would have a mental breakdown before I could finish with them.

I walk through the town and spot a Mockingjay on top of the roof of one of the shops, odd to see other then in the woods. I don't whistle the four note I normally do, whistling is by far what I want to do. I make it home to see Gale on the porch. He's sitting in the rocking chair, bent over with his hand in a small, falling apart box and Hazel's inside from the light sound coming out of the opened front door.

"What are you doing?" I ask Gale as I walk up the front steps.

I take in the sight of his healing form in front of me. Gale is remarkably better for being injured just two days ago. Most of his exposed skin is a soft baby pink and some dark red, some even a dark tan to match his normal skin color. His face is untouched expect the large, healing scar across his forehead. One of his arm's is still wrapped in a make-shift sling.

He see's me and instantly lights up at the sight of me. I tug the bottom of my pink top lower to my dress pants in nervousness. 'I shouldn't be nervous around my own husband' I hear my head say, but I am. His smile widens and eyes my unbraided, tangled hair.

"You look beautiful." He says, ignoring my question.

I'm lying, hiding things from this man who's suffering his own grief of being injured, the lose of his best friend but still has time to make sure I feel loved. The man that could barley hold out his own, burned arms for me to make me feel _loved_. I feel like screaming. I curse at myself in my head, asking why this isn't coming easy to me. Why I can't tell him what I'm _supposed _to tell him. I finally grit my teeth, letting my own anger for myself over take me-

"Gale-"

"Hello dear!" Says Hazel from the door, cutting me off from my words.

She just ruined it. The moment I found the courage to tell Gale and she ruins it. The courage quickly fades, like a butterfly flying the opposite direction of you.

"I'm just starting to pack some stuff and take it over next door." She says. "Would you mind helping? If you can, please?" She asks, smiling and shrugging her shoulders up.

"…of course." I answer, hesitating for a second in finding the right word's.

"Great! Now…" She starts, gesturing with her head for me to follow her into the home.

I don't even look at Gale before I follow her into my own home, letting her rant about what she needs help with. I start helping her with moving a few items at a time over to the home next door, there isn't much but it's a bit more then I expected. I'm bringing over some of Posy's clothes (because she won't let me take anything heavy) when I make my first trip to the new house of their's, the old home of 'Mr. Hawk'. The house is no longer filthy but indeed quite clean now, freshly cleaned. The walls are painted a soft, light green that's chipping in every room. It's bigger then it looks from the outside, with three bedrooms and a large kitchen. It's in good shape, better then Gale's and I's was. There's clutter though, obviously not anything of Hazel's but things that are left behind from the strange man that use to live within these walls. I'm approaching the kitchen table where a large stack of books and papers are when Hazel calls for me, I sigh heavily.

I spend the afternoon, helping Hazel take small things back and forth between my home and her new one. Thankfully their only next door. I pass Gale every few minutes, wishing we could be alone for five minutes but then somehow being grateful we aren't.

Courage is a hard thing to find.

XX

"…. and then he told me I was pretty!"

I sit on the porch, with Gale but not alone. Posy has woken from her nap and insist on filling me in about her latest dream. I try to relax, after helping Hazel for two hours straight and the weight that drowns me more and more. I can't relax though. I try to intently listen to Posy who's sitting in my lap but it doesn't help. The image of Darius kissing me replays over and over in my head as I sit beside my own husband. The voice of Principle Maddox offering the new job finds it's way in between the images. I zone out a few times from Posy's words, enough that Gale must notice.

"Give Katniss a break, Pos. See if mother needs help for anything." Gale says, trying to make it sound as fun as it can to her.

She quickly hops down from my lap, telling me she'll be back as she excuses herself inside the home. She accidentally slams the front door, making me jump slightly.

"God I wish we had a muzzle." Gale says, you can hear the smile in his voice. I oddly agree with him.

Alone.

I'm finally alone with Gale. No distractions, no one else to listen to our conversation. But I've lost the courage, the courage that I _had _for that short time. I clutch the arm rests of the rocking chair tightly enough to cause my knuckles to turn a soft white.

"Clare came by." I hear Gale say through my thoughts, eyeing me.

"What'd she want?" I ask, speaking of the town's 'news reporter'.

She's a skinny, older lady, with curly blond hair and odd shaped green eyes. She acts as the town's reporter of sorts, delivering any messages within the District to certain people or whoever she pleases. So pretty much the towns gossip.

"About the mines." Gale answers, sounding a bit discouraged. I sit up straighter.

"What about them?" I reply, raising my eyebrows in anticipation for his answer.

"Their not reopening until January." He replies, keeping a straight face.

I take in the full effect of his words. January is still months away, resulting in Gale without a job for months, resulting in no pay. Yes, we've managed without either of us working while supporting both of our families but the money helps. It buys those few extra vegetables in the Hob, or the extra linins for Hazel to sew with, or even more Iodine for sterilizing our water. Without the money, we'll have to go back trading our game more, resulting in less food. I sigh loudly.

"But that's not for another five months!" I respond, scooting to the edge of my seat. Gale's word's have temporally put my other thoughts at bay.

"I know. But we'll make it, Katniss." He says, reaching out to grab my hand. I give him my shaky hand, feeling the warmth of his own.

The slight feeling of nausea I receive at the very moment reminds me of the fetus growing inside of me. It also reminds me of needing to begin saving for items for the baby, they can usually be traded in the Hob. But now, that will be hard.

"At least you have your job right now." Gale adds after several seconds of silence.

The nausea immediately fades as the reminder of Principle Maddox's job offer resurfaces in my head. Could it be a good thing now? Would it pay more and make up for Gale's wage?

"Katniss what's wrong?" Gale asks me, throwing me off completely of my thoughts. I jump a little, enough that Gale sits up more, clutching my hand tighter. "Is it the baby?"

"No, Gale!" I respond, a bit to harshly.

This is it. This is the moment I tell Gale I've been keeping things from him, important things. 'Pull yourself together, Katniss', I say in my head. 'He's your husband', my head adds. I try desperately to find that courage I had just a few hours ago, but I can't, I've lost it. But why am I _so scared _of telling Gale these things? It's not as though _I _kissed Darius. And isn't the job offer a _good _thing?

"Hey!"

I drop my gaze from Gale and look to Prim, Rhoda and the boys returning from a day of school, backpacks and books in toe.

"Can we go hunting again? Please!" Rory says as Prim, Rhoda and Vick retreat inside.

"Not today, we went last night." I reply, being honest. Truthfully another hunting trip wouldn't hurt at all, but the baby seems to be dragging more and more of my energy.

Rory takes the rocking chair beside Gale and begins telling him of his day. I turn my head and grit my teeth in frustration, if I could ever be alone in my own house with my own husband. I let go of Gale's hand, making my way inside the house. Finally wishing for those five minutes.

XX

"…Yes, I've got it Mrs. Hazel." I tell her.

The house is darkened and lit by the few remaining candles. The children are all in bed and Gale's in the living room, I'm sure already sleeping. I try and convince Hazel to let me do the few dishes after she spent most, all of the day moving most of her belongings to her new home. She finally agrees, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight baby girl." She says, yawning as she makes her way to the stairs.

"Goodnight." I reply softly.

Tonight will be their last night. Hazel announced it over dinner. I'm happy for her, for the kids but I will honestly miss them, even though they will only be right next door. Rhoda was fine with accepting a shared room with Posy. I silently wish her good luck, Gale flashed her an almost apologetic smile too.

I return my attention back to the sink, quietly scrubbing the few pots and dishes, regretting I choose such a tiny nightgown on this chilly night.

I'm nearly done when I feel a my unbraided hair being pulled to one side of my shoulder, and the feeling of a warm body pressed up against my backside. It doesn't take me long to know it is Gale, especially when he begins sending light kisses down my neck.

Alone.

Maybe this time will be it. I'm finally alone, again, with Gale. Everyone's in bed, no one should bother us now. But I quickly learn that Gale's intentions are different. He wraps his good arm around my waist, pulling me back into him even further has he still works light kisses up and down my neck. I immediately feel his turn on pressed against my backside.

"Gale." I exclaim in protest.

I can't let the man I'm hiding things from please me like this, it doesn't feel right, it's _not _right. Do I want Gale to do this to me? _Absolutely. _But I'd be a bad wife if I'd let him. 'You _are _a bad wife Katniss', my head begins replying words again.

Gale quickly but gently spins me around, immediately and instantly crashing his lips into mine passionately. Between the warmth and feeling of our lips pressed together, I can't control the moan that escapes my lips. The kiss has an effect on me, powerful enough to put _any _of my past thoughts on hold, even my burdens. It's amazing, the complete and utter lasting effect Gale has on my being and soul. It's strong enough that I don't think of anything else then the pleasurable feelings he's delivering to me. I don't stop him like I should as his hand slides down my waist and hip, falling in between my legs and under my nightgown. As our lips are still locked onto each other, his hand begins rubbing me through my underwear. My eyes immediately fly open and I moan loudly, too loud. He breaks our lips and lowers his own pair to my ear-

"Quiet Catnip." He hisses, biting my earlobe afterwards.

He begins trailing kisses down my neck as my hands reach behind me, gripping the edge of the counter for support. I slump a little, throwing my head back for better access for Gale. He rubs me harder and harder, resulting in more light moans from me. I curse at myself, grit my teeth again at utter frustration that this is wrong. But the feeling and tension my body begins to build out weighs my mouth, keeping it shut tightly and preventing any words of protest to escape.

I open my eyes and look at Gale who's just begun to trail kisses over my collar bones. I realize his other arm is out of the make-shift sling and resting gently on my hip, gently enough that I didn't even realize he was touching me there. As soon as his lips come to my covered breasts he removes his hand from under my nightgown, tugging at the hem of it. I'm only edging this on more as I help him remove it off of me, leaving me in nothing but my underwear in front of him. His lips find one of my breast while his hand slips into my underwear, slipping two fingers into my slowly.

Immediately I can tell things are different, with my own body. Instead of his mouth working on my breast feeling pleasurable, it's painful. Gale instantly see's this as I yelp in pain. He stops, bringing his face to mine.

"That hurt. Didn't it?" He asks, obviously already knowing the answer. I nod my head in approval and in answer. "I'm sorry, maybe we shouldn't do this right now." He adds as he slips his two fingers out of me.

Finally.

"Yes." I say, choking on the word.

I retrieve my nightgown from the floor, pulling it quickly, very quickly over my body. Gale must notice my quick actions, he frowns his eyebrows just slightly, but seems to shrug it off the very next second.

"I need to talk to you, about some things." Gale says. I feel excitement but _complete _terror inside of me at the same time.

"Me too." I let out quickly, avoiding eye contact.

"You first then." He says.

For the first time in a long time I can almost hear a quiver, a waver in Gale's tone. Not a scared or terrorized voice, that I'm sure _I _sound like. But more of an uncertainty tone. Maybe I'm not the only one hiding things?

"No, you." I protest, willing extra stalling time.

"Katniss, I can read you like an open book, I know something's been bothering you since last night." He replies, raising his eyebrows.

I scowl at him, always cursing him for this ability he has with me. I've never been good at reading people's emotions. I wouldn't necessarily say Gale does either, but he knows me too well. I nervously twiddle my thumbs in front of me, giving me something to look at rather then Gale's intense gaze.

"Fine if you're going to be stubborn then…"

With Gale's mention of the word 'stubborn', the thought and conversation with Darius immediately replays in my head again.

"I kissed Darius!" I blurt out uncontrolling, cutting off Gale's words. "He kissed me!" I add, realizing I'm wording it completely wrong. I begin confusing my own self. "Gale I didn't mean to! He just leaned in and did it! It was wrong and I kno-"

"Katniss." Gale speaks softly and this time cutting me off. "I know about it."

With his words I become instantly, utterly and helplessly confused. Gale stands beside me, taking the pot I had just cleaned and begins filling it with water.

"What?" I say, turning around so we're both facing the counter beside each other.

"He told me, Katniss." He replies, setting the pot on the stove and lighting the coals, adding the herbs for tea.

"Rory!?" I shout just a tad too loud. I feel angered toward Rory, for not keeping his nose out of business that doesn't involve him.

"No. Darius." He answers, like I'm dumb.

I try to read his expression, his face for what he might be feeling. But it's hopeless, his straight, unmoving face and features tell me absolutely nothing about what he feels about this whole situation.

"What?" I find myself asking again, but much more quieter.

Gale finally stops mixing the herbs in the pot and looks at me. Through his heavy gaze I can finally see something in Gale, his eyes glisten just slightly with hurt. Hurt that _I _caused.

"He told me, Katniss." He repeats. "He came by, after you left for hunting last night. He said he came to apologize to me."

I squint just slightly, taking in his words to the maxim. He came back to apologize not to _me, _but instead to Gale. Gale turns his attention fully to me, placing his hand on the small of my back.

"I don't blame you Katniss." He says, almost echoing Rory's own words. "I'm not mad. Or upset."

"You're not?" I whisper, barely able to get the words past my lips.

"No." Gale answers, almost laughing. "I'm upset with _Darius _but not you."

"You're not mad that I didn't tell you sooner?" I ask another question in a whisper like tone.

Gale remains silent for a few seconds. I quickly realize just how quiet the house is. The absent of his answer begins to fill me with fear. This is exactly what I was scared of, that he'd be mad at me for not telling him... and he'd leave me.

"No." He replies, but no sign of laughing. He gently places his other arm on my back, forcing me to turn toward him more. "Darius said that's why he decided to tell me, because it would be some time before _you _told me." He answers.

"But you're not mad that I hid it fro-"

"Katniss, you didn't hide it from me." He says, cutting me off and not letting me get my question out fully.

"Then what did I do Gale? I hid it!" I shout again, feeling angered toward myself.

"You protected me." Gale replies simply.

My mouth goes to open, no doubt shout some profanity at him but no words come out. Instead I find myself yet again confused.

"You were trying to protect me Katniss," He repeats. "..protect my feelings. You didn't want to hurt me."

"But I only hurt you more Gale." I reply, shaking my head slightly. I mean my words.

"No. You showed me just how much you love me," He says. "..you loved me enough to let it burden you, so it didn't burden me."

I drop my gaze from Gale and repeat his last sentence over in my head again. Easily angered Gale, _isn't _mad at me, but see's it as an act of my love… something that I didn't even realize myself.

"You know me better then I do." I say seriously, whispering it again.

Gale doesn't take it quiet as serious though, he begins to laugh but I keep my straight face. Not out of anger though, he just doesn't fully understand the depth of what I had said. He doesn't know just how much I was being burdened by it.

"I love you, Katniss." He says, after a few more seconds of laughing.

"I love you, too." I reply. For the first time since this conversation, I smile.

I willingly accept his lips as they touch mine. Their not like the kisses just ten minutes ago, filled with pleasure and lust. But instead replaced with _love _and _passion_. Not driven out of 'turn on's' or lustfulness, but of true love and divine for each other.

Sometimes, courage is right under our noses.

XX

"So what was it you need to talk to _me _about?" I ask Gale as we part from our kiss.

He undoes his embrace from me and turns his attention back to the boiling tea on the stove. I retrieve two mugs from the cabinet on the opposite side of him.

"It's nothing really." He says, shrugging his shoulders.

"It's something." I reply. I don't bother trying to read his emotions, I'll fail.

"It's nothing!" He shouts, grinning.

"It's something!" I repeat, matching his grin and tone.

Instantly I turn my attention from Gale to something else. Hungry. I'm hungry. I begin to rade the cabinets of any 'snack's' that we might have. I find a small bowl of berries. I uncover the bowl and immediately pop a few of them into my mouth.

"You're pathetic!"

I look up, my mouth completely full, to see Gale, grinning wide at me. I swallow my large bite loudly, barely chewing the food.

"Hey, I'm feeding two so shut up!" I reply, somehow finding a small sense of humor, maybe out of pure relief.

Gale shakes his grinning, faced head a few times as he watches me pop another few berries into my mouth. It's completely unusual for me to eat these late night snack's like this, so we both silently know it's because of my pregnancy.

"You do make a point." Gale simply replies, shaking his head yet again at my frantically eating figure.

"Yep." I answer, barley getting the word out through my full mouth. I swallow my bite again loudly. "What do you need to tell me?" I ask, remembering what we were talking about before my food craving hit. Gale drops his gaze and begins filling the two mugs with the hot tea. I watch as he still keep's his grin and carefully uses his bad arm. "You're cleaning that pot again mister." I mumble through my full mouth.

"It's not important." He replies after laughing from my mumbled sentence.

"It is, if you were going to tell me before-"

"I want to visit Thom's family, Katniss!" He says, sounding a bit frustrated at my pressure to tell me. I can tell he instantly regrets his tone. My smile instantly fades and he see's it. "I'm sorry, Katniss, but I do." He adds, much softer as he slides one of the mugs over to me. "I want you to come with me."

"…Ok." I stutter for a second with finding the answer.

I _don't _want to face Thom's family, and by the look Gale is giving me neither does he. But we both know we have to. We are, were Thom's good friends, and we know his family well. I remember little Alec, whose now a few months shy of turning two, clinging to Thom as he would visit us, as we would visit him.

"I know we don't want to, but we need to." Gale says softly, reading my thoughts. I drop my gaze.

"Yes." I whisper, lowly enough that Gale leans in. "Yes." I say louder. "We need to."

Gale smiles and I return it, wishing the happy air and vibe would return. I pop another handful of berries into my mouth as my stomach rumbles loud. Gale's smile slowly turns into a grin again at the sight of me.

"Good?" Gale asks, his grin wider then ever.

"Yup!" I say through my mouthful of berries again. I swallow them loudly again too. "I'm gonna get fat though." I add, barley any volume to my voice, dropping my smile and dropping my gaze to my stomach.

Gale comes closer to me, inches from me and tucks a piece of my stray hair behind my ear as I eye the berries in the bowl.

"And you would be just as beautiful." He replies, almost whispering the words but not quite.

I look up to him, smiling. The effect Gale can have on me with just his words is also amazing. I know Gale means this though.

"Really?" I ask. Gale brings his gaze from my hair to my eyes.

"Really." He whispers.

I accept his warm kiss again, but I break it quickly. Popping yet another handful of berries into my mouth. Gale grins again, peeking his gaze into the halfway filled bowl of berries. He sticks his fingers in, grabbing one of the lone berries from the bowl and rubbing it between his fingers. The sly grin on his face widening even more as he looks up at me. He places his lips just inches from mine as I swallow my bite.

"I think you and I could have some fun with these." He says. He stands up straighter and takes my hand. "Come on."

As I follow him into the living room it takes me a second to fully grasp his words and what he means. I grin when I finally match the pieces together, feeling my whole body tingle in anticipation.

That night we barley sleep, but I don't complain.

XX

The week carries on rather quickly. I remember on a break from our love making to tell Gale about the job offer. He said he was proud of me and that he trust me to make the right choice, and that choice was indeed my own to make. Prim reminds me of the school meeting I must attend for her at the end of the week, I mentally put it in my 'schedule'. Hazel, the kids and Rhoda happily move in next door and for the first time I see Rhoda smile when she enters her new, shared bedroom. Gale heals even more, beginning to sit outside more, so his new skin can adjust before he resumes hunting. My food cravings and tender breasts becomes worse, but I manage. The nausea hit's a but more too. I don't talk to my mom, thankfully. I take Rory hunting several more times and begin scouting out wood to make his bow with. He catches on even faster to everything I show him, indeed being a natural.

It's finally a Friday, my last working day when I'm walking home. My skirt beginning to feel just the slightest bit tight around my waist, but I don't understand, I'm in no way showing yet of my pregnancy. Maybe I am gaining weight? I scowl at myself for it as I begin walking down the Seam road. This afternoon is Prim's meeting about the 'field trip' she has been 'honored' to go on. I try to rack my brain of what this 'field trip' could be to. The mines? I immediately cringe at just the very thought. I _hated _my old school visits to the mines, especially after my fathers death. I would fake being sick, or really become ill just at the mention of having another field trip to that wretched, unbearable place. But it wouldn't make sense, Prim has already been on two field trips to those mines, I highly doubt this would be another one. And for these special students. Maybe it's a tour of the Justice Building or something? The mystery will be solved soon though. The meeting is immediately after school. But I'd wish it was sooner, something rubs me the wrong way about this whole situation.

I walk up the front steps, dropping my game bag onto one of the rocking chairs and walking inside. Over the past few days it's taken time for me, to adjust to a quiet home. The only sound comes from the living room, Gale coughing lightly. I walk into the living room to be greeted with another sound-

_Hiss…._

Old buttercup is perched on Gale's lap, hissing at the sight of me. I scowl at Gale whose holding a grin that must stretch a mile, his hands rubbing the cats back.

"Come on, he's cute, Catnip." Gale says through his grin.

"He's hideous, dirty and the must disgus.." _hiss_ "..ting thing I've ever laid my eyes on." I let out, letting the words slip. They're true though, _every _word.

"Like you." I drop my gaze from the cat and look to Gale. He begins bursting with laughter. "Kidding! Kidding!" He says in between laughs.

The cat instantly jumps down, trying to take a swipe at me. I jump on the couch, cursing loudly. It only sends Gale into more laughter.

"It's not funny!" I shout, holding back my own laughs. "Put the damn cat away. Now!" I shout again, moving to the opposite end of the couch that the cat has now followed me on to.

Gale still laughs as he removes himself from the chair, swiping the cat up by the back of his neck and throwing him into Prim's room.

"You're overly dramatic, _Catnip_." Gale says, signaling out the 'cat' in my nickname.

He comes to where I am still standing on the couch and wraps his good arm around me and his still healing arm. At this angle, I'm taller then him. Not much, but slightly. I lean down, letting our faces meet with only inches to spare.

"Maybe it's time for a new nickname." I joke, speaking lowly.

"Ok. Cat hater Katniss?" Gale jokes, grinning widely again.

I grin, matching his at the simple reason of Gale, being in the great mood that he is in. Since we've had our conversation at the beginning of the week, we have both been in excellent moods. It helps to have our bed back too, resulting in better nights of sleep for the both of us.

"Let's stick with Catnip." I reply, letting our lips meet.

Our lips tangle together for at least a minute before his arms move down my body and to my legs, moving them to his body and making my legs wrap around him. I break our lips.

"Gale, I need to head back to the school soon." I say, realizing we have made love nearly every night this week, so I can't say I'm much in the mood right now. Gale squints at me in confusion. "The meeting? For Prim?"

"Oh! I almost forgot about it." Gale replies, dropping his gaze to my low cutting shirt. "We still got an hour and a half." He adds.

He bends down and places his knees on the couch, letting my backside rest on the back cushions. He starts to trail kisses over my face and neck. I decide to let him be.

He's happy, and that's all that matters to me.

XX

Gale still wears his damn grin over winning the argument about coming with me to the meeting. I argued that he was still healing, and hasn't been out of the house since the accident a week ago. He countered back, saying he needed to get out for a bit.

He hand tightens to mine a little more as we approach the school. We run into the boys and Rhoda, waving to us as they leave for home. I walk inside and head for her classroom. I peek in to see all of the kids, gathering their backpacks, books and papers. Prim spots me and Gale in the doorway, rushing to squeeze all of her belongings into her small backpack.

She greets us both with hugs and we follow her to the main gymnasium. We get there as there is at least a dozen or so children with their parents, mostly mothers. Everyone is sitting on the bleachers in the front, a small wooden podium in the front. Principle Maddox is there, standing a bit away from it, talking to a parent. She spots me and waves me over to her.

"Were go find a seat. Follow your heart, Catnip." Gale says, squeezing my hand one last time and pecking a quick kiss on my lips.

I walk over to her, keeping my head low and walking in small strides. I realize that she expects me to have a final answer to the job offer. She finishes talking to the parent right as I approach.

"Katniss!" She says, a bit to cheery for her normal self.

"Hi." I reply sheepishly.

"Have you made a decision yet? It's ok if you haven't." She asks and reassures me. I feel a slight bit of relief.

"I haven't yet. Not really." I reply quickly.

"It's ok. It's fine!" She responds, again, sounding more cheerful than normal. "I did want to mention though…" She begins. "Mrs. Mildred is having to retire with being a teacher, the hours are just to long. Her last day was today." She says. I'm taken back by her words, but just slightly. "She is however willing to teach music, in your absent." She looks at me for a second. "Just keep that in mine. Well, I need to start." She sends me one last smile before I turn away.

She clearers her throat in preparation to speak just as I find where Gale and Prim are.

"Have you seen my mom and Vick?" Gale leans over Prim whose in between us, asking.

"No?" I say, almost questioningly. Then I remember, Vick was on this 'honored' list as well.

I have to temporarily put his question at bay as Principle Maddox begins speaking and the unpleasant sensation in my gut begins. . . .

* * *

_**Chapter 25 Preview: What will this 'meeting' hold? Will it be good for Prim and the family or only cause drama and pain? And where is Vick and Hazel? What will happen when Katniss has to face both Darius again and her own mother? What will Katniss think of her developing pregnancy as she begins preparing for the arrival and studying, also taking in the physical and emotional changes? Will the things her mother tell her scare her, Or make her braver? And what will take place when Katniss and Gale pay a visit to the grieving, broken family of Thom? Will it shock them at what they find? Find it ALL out Saturday!**_


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N - Chapter 25 is HERE! Woot woot! And... it's LONG! Hopefully not too long, please let me know what you think of the length and if you like longer Chapters like this one. Alright, this chapter is kind of, not all over the place but has alot of emotional changes in Katniss. You'll learn about the 'trip' and that doesn't help with Katniss' emotions and feelings. I also brought in a character that was in a short part of Catching Fire, see if ya can spot her;) Also, Katniss has a deep moment with both Gale and her mother in this chapter. I really wanting Katniss to start to become closer with her mother because soon she will have to relie havily on her with the pregnancy ect. I personally LOVE this chapter, it's not my favorite but I love the end. Oh, and I didn't (AGAIN) get to fit the visit to Thom's family in this Chapter so it WILL be in the next Chapter(26).**

**I just wanted to thank my few reviewers for their reviews... THANK YOU! I LOVE you hear from my readers, it is after all, the people that I'm writing for. AND I wanted to give a huge shout out to my over 70 followers, over 30 'favorites' and my well over 17,000 readers! :D I'm glad I have brought so many people to enjoy this story that has evolved into what it is now! I LOVE each and everyone of you. **

**I want to give a *HEADS UP* that there will be a slight change in the stories summary. I feel like I need to change it to match the plot better and help future readers. I just want you all to know so it doesn't throw you off and worry you any. Oh,**** and I promise, the title does mean something to the story... you'll have to wait and find out. Ok, Chapter 26 will be up Saturday OR Sunday, I'm going to try to shoot for Friday REALLY hard this time but no promises. Anywho, PLEASE review, they keep my going and let me know you are out there and reading it! Feel free to drop in your thoughts of the story ect and your favorite moments from the chapter! Well, MUCH love to ALL - Macayla **

**Ps, Chapter 26 will start to really pick up some time. I want to start getting into Katniss' pregnancy more!**

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"Good afternoon parents, guardians." She begins.

I feel as though she was signaling me out with the 'guardian' mention, but I know she wasn't. I spot Bristel, one of Gale's crewmates (that was luckily enough not to be injured), sitting with her little brother. I turn my attention back to Principle Maddox as she continues, my only wish is that she would say whatever this all is that is unsettling me.

"You child, or children have been honored for keeping excellent scores, attendance and idle behavior over the course of this year. For this reason, they have made District 12's Community School's Honor Roll!" She says.

At her words the room goes into light applause, every parent gives their child some hug and slap on the back. I lean into Prim, telling her how honestly proud of her I am. Gale does the same. Principle Maddox continues speaking with telling us the 'history' of the school's honor roll, that's been in place for more then fifty years.

"… this year however, is just slightly different." At her words, my stomach instantly clenches up. "We would like to honor these amazing children differently then our normal, set traditions. This year…" My stomach clenches tighter. "… we would like to honor them by a special, short trip to…" Tighter. "The Capitol!"

_Instantly _I find myself rising from my chair on the belchers, objecting to this insane idea but just as I stand, I'm yanked back into my seat by a pair of strong arms behind me. I know without turning around they are Gale's, one hand grasped a little tighter on my arms then the other. Somehow he's managed to get behind me on the belchers, knowing I would react this way. I'm forced to ignore my own thoughts as Principle Maddox continues speaking, ceasing her short pause.

"I have been honored to be in contact with President Snow…" My jaw tightens and so does Gale's hands on my arms. "… who is willing for these children to come and visit, as a… reward for their amazing doings." She says, smiling from ear to ear.

The room goes into another light round of applause but I can tell I'm not the only one that's uneasy about this trip. Bristel who's sitting a few feet away turns around, giving both Gale and I a 'look'. Prim doesn't say or do anything, so I look over to her to find her face set in a happy grin. I don't say this much about my dear, loving sister, but I have an urge to come across and smack it off of her. Gale's hands tighten to almost the bridge of painful when my mind starts racing with questions, with objections.

There is _no _way I would send Prim to the place where they slaughter children! Where our evil, cruel, hatred president lives. There is _no _way.

Principle Maddox continues again, telling us more of the details. It will be five days, in the new coming year during Spring. Either in March or April. She goes on to also say she would be chaperoning, along with several other paid staff members of the school. She also begins reading the list of the honored children in alphabetical order, having them stand when their name is called. The list isn't overly wrong and she get's to the E's before we know it. Vick's name was never called. She only calls one child ahead of Prim.

"Primrose Everdeen!"

As I see Prim, who's beside me, stand, I instantly feel nauseous and I don't blame it on the baby. The way her name is called, the way she begins to stand shyly reminds me far to well of her being Reaped one day. I feel in a way though that she is, she is being Reaped. Being forced to visit the Capitol and most likely see how they murder children. I can't let this happen to Prim. I _won't. _

She dismisses the meeting by giving us the date for our next meeting, next month. Everyone stands and resumes talking, but not everyone leaves. They are all hugging and speaking with their children, no doubt telling them how proud they are of them. I turn to Prim (and Gale) and see what she thinks of this all. It doesn't matter though, I've made up my own mind and thoughts.

"I'm _so _excited!" Prim squeals as my eyes land on her.

I'm not entirely taken back my Prim's excitement but I can't say I expected it. Prim has constant nightmares about her name being pulled, at a Reaping.

I rethink again to Principle Maddox's words. The _Capitol_. Travel amongst the Districts is forbidden, so in a way I'm shocked that President Snow would allow this. But he would allow anything to have more helpless children in his messed up city. There is absolutely no way I can let Prim go on this trip.

"You're not going." I blurt out quickly, her mouth goes to open but my mouth beats her. "You are _not _going Prim and that's final!" I shout, knowing much too loudly by the odd looks from parents around us.

Without looking at Prim or Gale I quickly yank my bag from my seat, pulling it over my shoulder quickly and flying down the belchers stairs in frustration. I don't slow down, knowing that Prim and Gale will follow, I only go faster. Nearly at the end of the stairs my foot misses a step and I fall, letting out a high pitched squeal. But only I _don't _fall. Right as my torso is about to hit the downward slopping stairs, a pair of strong but small arms catch me, nearly in mid air. My face falls just inches away from this person who caught me and I quickly realize it's Bristel. She helps me to my feet.

"Th… thank you." I say, just slightly shaken from the near disaster. If she wouldn't have caught me, I know I would have tumbled down the remaining stairs.

"No probl-"

"Katniss! Are you crazy!?" Immediately Gale yanks me into his arms, in a tight embrace. "You can't take off like that!" Gale shouts at me as my head is forced to bury into his shirt.

For a second I don't understand why Gale is so upset, the worst I would have done was break an arm or something, bad but not deadly. But I could have also lost something… our baby. My face is pressed into Gale's shirt but I can see Bristel in the corner of my eyes, face squished slightly in confusion at Gale's reaction. No doubt looking like an overreaction if you don't know about the baby.

"I'm sorry." I say into Gale's shirt, holding back tears in my eyes. I don't know why though, maybe at the pure thought of losing my unborn baby? Maybe the way Gale reacted?

"Katniss, you can't just run off like that. You _have _to be more careful!" Gale answers into my hair, panic and worry evident in his tone.

"I know.. I know…"

"No, you don't!" He says, pulling me at arms length from him, searching each other's faces. "Have you not grasped the idea that you're pregnant?" Gale asks, a bit harsh.

"No.. yes, I have Gale!" I answer in slight stutter and confusion. Of course I know I'm pregnant, who told him?

"Rory says you're still climbing trees? You can't do the same stuff you use to, Katniss." He says, much more calmly and quieter.

I know Gale's only reacting this way because of what could happen, that's his job, to protect his family. I know that if something happened to the baby, or myself, Gale would blame it on him for the rest of his life. At the thought and realization, I wrap my arms tightly around his neck, standing on my tiptoes and resting my head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." I whisper to him.

He doesn't have time to answer, only tighten his arms before Prim clearers her throat, no doubt reminding us that Bristel and her brother are standing behind us, me. I turn around to the sight of her and her little brother. He must be no older then Prim, with the Seam look, dark hair, grey eyes and olive skin. Bristel looks exactly the same, a mirror image of myself but her age is different, she's the same age as Gale, being in his graduating year. She's at least a foot taller then me and much more broad in the shoulders from working in the mines. I've never formally met her, or her brother. Only 'hi's', 'bye's' and waves during school recess and assembly's. I've never been one to have many friends, so I never went out of my way to say much more to her. It seems though we have one thing in common, we both care for our sibling.

"Bristel. It's been a while." She says, breaking my thoughts and flashing a warm smile.

"Katniss. And yes… it has." I answer, shaking her extended hand.

"She's one of my crewmates I've told you about." Gale says, moving to in between us. "She looks so much like you that she keeps me in check down there." He adds, winking at both of us, mostly myself.

"Well, when someone's falling asleep every five minutes, you kind of need someone to give you a quick ass kick before the boss man see's you." She says, grinning from ear to ear. Prim and I laugh, but were the only ones.

"Hey, it's not my fault when you have someone constantly telling you to do stuff!" Gale counters back, obviously suppressing his grin. _"Miss bossy." _He adds, muttering it under his breath

"I am not bossy!" She responds, playfully slapping him on the arm. Gale yelps in pain, as that was his healing arm. She apologizes briefly. "Maybe if someone quits checking my ass out every time I bend over, we could get more work done and I wouldn't have to be bossy!" She adds, raising her eyebrows at me.

Instantly I raise my eyebrows at Gale. Does it surprise me? That's he's checking out other woman, girls? Absolutely not. He's a man for crying out loud. But does it upset me? Yes, of course.

"She's lying!" He answers, looking at me. _"It's one of her horrible traits." _Gale mutters, again under his breath, 'coughing' to cover it up.

Somehow I don't find myself overly upset at Bristel's words, instead I find myself laughing at her facial expressions to Gale's words. I surprise myself.

"Whatever dork. I gotta get home. My grandma will be thrilled when she hears about all this." She says, rolling her eyes.

"What? That you're a compulsive liar?" Gale asks, stretching his mouth into a grin.

"No! About the damn trip to the fucked up place we all call the shitty Capitol!" She lets out in one breath, rolling her eyes again. I can tell she has a 'mouth' on her. "Nice to finally meet you." She says, smiling and completely changing her angered tone. "Congrats on the baby." She adds quickly.

She finally walks off, holding the hand of her brother and bumping him on the shoulder playfully. Gale turns to me as soon as she's gone, near panic written across his face.

"I promise I'm not checking her, or any other girl's ou-"

"It's ok. I believe you." I find myself saying, speaking before thinking. But it's oddly honest.

"Good." He replies quietly.

As soon as he does reply, I spot Principle Maddox making her way to us where we still stand on the belchers. At the sight of her, I somehow find myself building with anger. I'm not sure entirely why though, but it's anger.

"Hello Gal-"

"Fine! I'll take the… job." I say frustratingly, stuttering for a second when I realized I was about to use the 'D' word to my own boss.

"Katniss? Are you sure? Don't do it ju-"

"Yes! I'm positive!" I shout in answer, walking past her and again flying down the remaining stairs.

I stop and pause for a second, thinking of Gale's words and how grateful I am that Bristel caught me. I take a deep breath, slowing down but still keeping a steady pace as I hurriedly exit the school gymnasium, down the hallways and out the front doors. Not caring or giving any time for Gale or Prim to catch up, I know they will eventually.

I do my best not to run as I walk through the buzzing, busy town. Tears begin to form in my eyes and again, I'm not entirely sure why. I assume the complete and utter pressure I have been under with this job offer. I can't forget to blame the pregnancy hormones either though. No doubt being the full cause of my weird, and mixed emotions this afternoon. Going from angry, to happy and back to angry again.

My heart beats faster and faster when finally a tear falls from my eyes as I bust the front door open in frustration, completely ignoring the fact that Buttercup escaped when I opened the door, obviously escaping Prim's room first. I slam the door shut, ignoring the damn cat and bolt upstairs.

I drop my bag on the floor and bury myself into the covers on the bed, pulling the pillow over my head while I begin to sob. I soon feel Gale's arms wrap around me. But I can only hear one thing, my heart beating loudly against my chest.

_Bum, Bum, Bum_

XX

Either I passed out our I managed to fall asleep. I wake up with fresh clothes on, my nightclothes and Gale sitting on the bed, holding a bowl of something hot, from the billows of steam coming up from it. The setting sun already beginning to darken the room.

"Hey.." Gale speaks softly, as though not to startle me as I stagger to sit up some.

Gale sets the bowl on the nightstand, helping me sit up against the pillows on the bed. I don't know why I'm so weak, but it scares me.

"Gale?" I choke out but my voice cracks, sounding pitchy and rough.

"Shh, it's ok." He answers, placing one of his pillows from his side of the bed behind my back for better support.

"What happened?" I ask, again sounding cracked, pitchy and rough.

"Your mom will explain." He answers simply, planting a light kiss on my forehead and retrieving the bowl on the nightstand. "She'll be back in a minute."

I slowly begin to feel my anger rise at confusion as to what happened and what's happening. The last thing I remember was sobbing into Gale's shirt and the loud sound of my heart beat in my ears, but after that was nothing but a blur… darkness. Gale begins to wipe back the loose pieces of hair out of my eyes as I see my mother enter the room, holding a small bottle in her hand.

"Hey baby." She says, replacing Gale's seat on the bed.

"What happ-" I begin asking again, but my mother cuts me off.

"Stress, baby. Your blood pressure went up, causing you to black out." She replies simply and calmly, pouring some of the strange liquid from the bottle into a mug I didn't see on the nightstand.

She stirs it with the spoon and as I watch, I become more and more scared. Unanswered questions weighing heavily on my shoulders. I begin to open my mouth again, ignoring the shooting pain in my head but my mother quickly cuts me off, knowing I want more of an answer from her.

"When.." She begins, eyeing the contents in the mug she is stirring. "a woman is pregnant, it's very easy for their blood pressure to become high when they are under a lot of stress or anxiety, and it's not very good for you, or the baby…"

I listen as my mother continues speaking of this subject. Speaking in medical terms that are beyond my knowledge. She hands me the mug of tea but I don't bring it to my lips.

"Pain medicine, dear. It will help you relax too." She quickly says.

She continues with her medical terms as I bring the warm contents of the mug to my lips. It's the normal herb tea we usually make but it has a strange, sweet taste to it with the added medicine. I find myself gulping it down though, both thirsty and enjoying the added taste. I soon realize I'm becoming somewhat upset that my mother is rambling on about things I don't fully understand. I somehow, and oddly find myself only worried about one thing and one thing only.

"The baby?" I ask, cutting her off. She doesn't take it as an offense though, lighting up brightly at my question.

"He, or she is fine. But it's very easy for mothers to have miscarriages when they are under that stress or anxiety." She answers with a smile. I find myself both relived and panicked at the same time. "I've put you on bed rest for the week and I spoke to Principle Maddox, she's letting you have next week off."

At her words I choke on the last sip of tea I had just brought to my mouth. My mother scoots closer to me and Gale comes to my side, but I weakly wave them off with my hand. I somehow, yet again find myself rising with anger. Though, I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe that my mother, who I've never been good at with taking directions from is doing just that. I'm being forced to listen and obey my mother, one of my many flaws. Maybe it's the point of being on bed rest, that the pregnancy is keeping me from doing my normal routines?

"Katniss, she has Mrs. Mildred filling in for you. She said to take it easy. She understands honey." My mother speaks, taking the empty mug from my hand and obviously seeing the semi anger inside of my eyes.

I don't answer but lean back further into the pillows, still waved with unanswered questions. But one and the most important question has been answered.

My baby is alive.

XX

The rest of the evening and night I'm never left alone. My mother stays with me, sitting in the rocking chair off to the side of the bedroom and Prim visits me before retreating to bed. She doesn't seem upset with me, and doesn't mention the Capitol visit once. I'm sure our mother told her not to though. Gale helps coax some of the warm, hot soup into me and it feels nice against my scratchy, dry throat. I'm not sure who made it, but it's not Hazel's or my mother's cooking. I smile as it doesn't taste to bad for Gale's cooking. He retreats into the kitchen to wash the few dishes, leaving just myself and my mother in the candle lit room.

As Gale disappears down the stairs, I turn my attention to my mother. She's still perched in the rocking chair, rocking lightly as she ponders of a book I know she's had since I was little. I've never taken the time to read it myself, or ask what it's about. But it must be important to her. She safely locks it away in the family's safe. I take in the sight of my slowly aging mother. She's not beautiful for her growing age, but she could be, with more proper care. For a split second I compare her to Mrs. Hazel. Both around the same age but with totally different appearances. Hazel's appearance clearly states she's from the Seam, while my mother could clearly pass as a merchant citizen. But Hazel cares for her appearance a bit more, making sure to wash stains out of her dresses and to neatly comb her dark hair while twisting some kind of beautiful and different braid into her full hair, while my mother cares less what stains and marks are on her clothes, and rarely does anything with her hair then her normal braid… much like myself. My mother is also much thinner, and I realize even thinner then the last time I saw her, last week. I instantly feel guilt and it's unmistakable. I've shut her out, taken her daughter away and cared less about what game and money she shares of Gale and I's. I know she must be overly thankful of Gale, him being the one to suggest and take over her share of our earnings. But her appearance, the way her dress is fitted, a bit large for her slim figure and her matted braid down the back of her neck strikes me with guilt like I have never felt before. I want to blame it on the pregnancy hormones again but I know this isn't the first time I have felt this. And I'm tired of tip-toeing around the subject.

"Mom?" I call out softly, barley getting it out through my cracked voice.

Her eyes peek over her book immediately, slamming it shut and walking in slow strides to where I am laying on the bed.

"Yes baby?" She answers, hushed in tone.

"I'm sorry." I whisper, letting my head fall back on the pillows.

I don't, and rarely say this to my mother and honestly mean it, but I do. I imagine the baby growing inside of me, that I've already and somehow, oddly and strangely become attached to, treating myself like I treat my own mother. And then I add the unthinkable, losing Gale on top of caring for our child. I would lose _myself _if I lost Gale. I don't understand fully the pain and hurt my mother went through, and why she left her children to fend for themselves, but I can't treat my mother like this, the only parent I have left. I don't want to set this example for my daughter or son. I want to show him or her how a relationship between a mother and her child should be. And I want to be close to my mother. I desperately do.

"Oh sweetheart," She begins, taking both of my hands into hers. "If there is _anything _I have learned since I was your age, is that life is full of I'm Sorry's. It's the people that you have to say that to, those are the people that's truly done something wrong sometimes." She says.

I squint my eyebrows in slight confusion, I know what my mother is saying but I don't see a point. Her smile widens as she see's this in me.

"Katniss, look. I know I haven't been the mother that you and Prim deserve and need, but I love you _both _with all my heart. And _you _have absolutely _nothing _to be sorry for." She pauses only briefly before adding more. "_I'm _the one that needs to apologize."

I take in the feeling of her small, cold and boney hands wrapped tightly around mine. I also take in her sight once again, being much closer. Her cheekbones stand out just a bit more then normal, her collar bones sticking out. I realize that my mother is literally turning into skin and bones before my very eyes. And I find myself wondering when her last meal was. While I was over hear, drowning myself in my own sorrow, my mother was down the street, no doubt thinking she lost her husband years ago and now her daughters. Living in that cold, dark and lonely home by herself, that use to be alive with a happy family.

I sit up and weakly throw my arms around my mothers neck. She makes a quick, high pitched sound, obviously taken back by the hug but I quickly feel her tiny arms wrap around me, pulling me closer to herself.

A hug.

In years I truly and generally hug my mother. It's a _long, _much needed, overdo hug. Like an overdo library book that you just found buried underneath a pile of junk. Your stomach clenches when you see it, praying that you don't get into trouble for it, but then relived, renewed when it's safely returned, a burden being lifted and carried away from your shoulders.

I rest my head under her chin, closing my eyes and taking in the scent of medicine and washing soup. It feel's good, so desperately good to be wrapped in my mothers arms. I find myself smiling, not just at the feeling and the hug, but more of that thought of my baby. I would never, in a million years think I would _ever _say this, but I'm looking forward to this moment with the child that is growing inside of me. The very first moment I get to hold him… or her. Am I still scared of that moment? Absolutely, but I don't find myself thinking of it as a curse, and rather a mere, unexpected blessing. My mother continues holding me for what seems like eternity. Neither one of us speaks but only basks in this moment for all it's worth. Gale comes up the stairs and spots us, he tries to quietly leave but the sound of his bare feet on the wooden floor board creeks, making my mother pull slightly away from the hug and turn around, focusing her attention on the stairs. I can't help but laugh. Gale's face and reaction is almost priceless. His face is set in a reaction as though he's a little boy, getting caught trying to steal an extra cookie from the cookie pan. Not that anyone in the Seam has ever experienced that. My own mother cracks an almost laughable smile, but quickly turns her attention back to me.

"It's late. You need to rest." She speaks, bringing her lips to my forehead. I nod in agreement.

She mentions she will sleep on the couch, not wanting to leave me incase I need her. And to be honest, I don't want her to leave, I don't want to send her back to that dark home that awaits her. Gale quickly suggest, and makes the decision that she can take his side of the bed for tonight. She surprisingly doesn't argue, and nods her head lightly in understanding. She flashes me a quick smile before making her way to the bathroom off to the side to wash up, closing the door and leaving Gale and I in the room alone. He come's over and takes my mother's seat on the edge of the bed, not saying anything as our hands quickly find each others. He traces patterns on my hand with his thumb, the sound of night animals and bugs outside filling in the silence.

"Don't scare me like that ever again, Catnip." He says, breaking the complete silence, completely serious despite using my old nickname. I'm only somewhat confused as I don't know how exactly I scared him. "You passed out in my arms like that. I thought you were dead."

I can't help it, and I try to hide it but an amusing, laughable smile/grin appears on my face. Gale looks up from our entwined hands, raising his eyebrows at me.

"I'm serious, Katnis-"

"I know. I know you are Gale." I cut him off, speaking honest. "I guess my mom is right, I _have _been under a lot of stress lately." I add, sighing loudly. Gale drops his gaze back to our hands but I keep mine steadily on him.

"I'm going to kill Darius one of these days." He mutters in serious.

I feel an urge to laugh but I realize it wasn't the fact of telling Gale that kiss, but then again, it was… in a way. I was _stressing _and worrying over how I was going to tell Gale of it, letting it depress me and get me down. And yes, add the job offer pressure on top of it and no wonder I'm laying here in bed, on 'bed rest'.

I sigh loudly again, focusing my attention off of Gale and onto the wall ahead. I find myself now becoming down, feeling I have let down the baby that is growing inside of me and indeed becoming like my mother. My free hand, that's not holding Gale's, finds it way to my abdomen. It's covered with the blankets from the bed but I gently rest it there, silently apologizing to the baby inside. Gale see's this, turning his attention to my stomach, than back to myself.

"I just want to be a good mother Gale." I say quietly, eyeing my hand that's rested where my baby is growing. "I don't want to let him, her down."

"Katniss, you haven't." Gale speaks softly, scooting closer to me. I find comfort in his words, but only a little, barley any.

"Yes, I have. I've cared less about the realization that I _am _pregnant, Gale." I answer, finding a small amount of guilt mixed with the right amount of anger toward myself.

"No, Katniss, you haven't." He answers bluntly. "But I don't blame you, neither have I. There's no…" He stutters for a second. "… bump, or pure evidence that you're pregnant. You can't feel the baby yet."

"Yes, but I've been throwing up, the cravings, mood swings for the past eight weeks…"

"And that could be mistaken for nothing more than an odd cold. I don't think the realization has hit anyone in the house, yet Katniss." He says, cutting my previous words off. "You need to stop putting this guilt on you and start enjoying the… adventure that's going to come. We have a long road ahead of us."

I'm lost for any type of remark, question or answer to his words. He's right, no one has fully taken the fact that I am pregnant. Not myself, not Gale, not my sister, not his family. How can you when you don't feel anything or see anything? I wonder to myself if that is normal, to 'not' feeling pregnant, but I'm sure it is. Obviously it is. And Gale is right, I should relax why I have the chance. Before the bump starts getting in the way of my comfort, or the baby kicks and keeps me up in the night… all things I have heard from my mother's pregnant patients over the years.

Gale and I sit in silence for another several minutes, neither one of us adding anything to the now dropped conversation. I feel remarkably better, but I still feel as though a piece is missing. I begin to enjoy the quietness with my husband, the quiet time together until I see Gale's hand slowly make is way to where my own hand rests on my abdomen. Before his hand meets it though, I do the worst possible thing, I swat his hand away. Immediately his eyes glisten with pure hurt, but before I can say or do anything my mother emerges from the bathroom, braiding her wet hair.

"I feel better now." She says happily. She doesn't pay attention to the tight tension that Gale and I are just experiencing.

He doesn't do anything but bring his lips quickly and in the most unromantically way to mine. Pulling away before I can do anything with my lips, returning the kiss.

"Goodnight." He says quietly.

He doesn't look at me, quickly getting up from the bed and going down stairs, ignoring my mothers comment of a goodnight. My mother only raises her eyebrows slightly before shrugging it off. Commenting on how tired he must be. She slowly slips under the covers beside me, being mindful not to shake the bed too much, although I could careless. She's hesitant at first, trying not to scoot too close to me but not too far. I find myself thinking of Gale quickly and briefly but I just as quickly throw the thought to the side burner. I _can't _think of how I hurt his feeling or why I did that. It will only add stress and I can't do that to my baby again. I vow and have vowed, from this night on I will put my baby first. My husband too, but for the time being, the total fact of it all, I _have _to put our child first right now.

I scoot closer to my mother. It's odd, almost awkward at first. I can't even think of the last time I shared a bedroom with her let alone a bed itself. When my father was alive, I use to wanted to sleep with my parents, but not my mother, it was my father I wanted to cuddle with at night. When Prim was born, we would sandwich together in our parents bed. Prim taking the side closest to my mother and myself taking the side closest to my father. It would be his arms wrapped around me, not my mothers. Not it's different, I no longer am the small, flexible figure but I'm grown, and two people are missing from the picture. I'm sure Prim would be overjoyed to join us in the bed but I don't make an effort to get her. I look over to my mother who's just inches away from myself. She wears a small smile, but it's not like the smiles I've ever seen her wear before. It's not in no way forced, or a 'happy' smile but more of a continent smile. A pleased smile. It's a smile that I haven't seen my mother wear in years. It's when she says goodnight, and she loves me do I find myself smiling.

"I love you too, mom." I say and for the first time in a _long _time I truly, one hundred percent, _honestly _mean it.

That night, I find myself wrapped tightly in my mothers arms.

XX

"I just don't feel pregnant." I say to my mother as she jots down a list of things for Gale to get at the Hob when he returns from hunting.

It's a Tuesday now, four days have passed since I've blacked out. My mother hasn't left the house yet, only to visit sick or ill patients. That Saturday morning, after I had swat Gale's hand away from meeting our baby in my stomach, he acts as though it never happened. He greeted me more excitingly and giddy than ever. He lets the subject of it go, and so do I as I'm still cursed with the question as to why I did it. I throw the thought of it now away, not wanting _any _type of stress.

When my mother said 'bed rest', I didn't realize she meant '_bed _rest'. Out of the fours day I have only gotten up for bathrooms trips and walking around the room for the sake of stretching my legs. But I know for a small reason why, I still find myself lightly weak after a few minutes on my feet.

It worries me sick that Gale is out hunting at this very moment. Sunday morning was his first hunting trip since the accident. I made sure he understood to wear long clothes to cover his skin, in hopes it won't damage the new surfaced skin. He laughed it off but listened, especially when my mother agreed with me. It comforts me some to know Rory is accompanying him now, that he's not alone. I want to so desperately be out there with him now, letting the warm sun and the scent of the woods surround me, but I listen to the strict rules of my mother, which includes no hunting for the week. The relationship between my mother and I have been growing, it's no where near perfect and never will be. I will always hold it against her, _always_. But I love her, we both want better.

I sit up a little more as I let the warm, morning sun hit my face through the opened curtains. I suppress a smile at my mom as she paces the bedroom, taping her head lightly with the almost used pencil. She stops, look at it and grins widely.

"Pencils. We need some of those." She says to herself. 'At least that's easy to trade for.' I think to myself. I laugh quietly.

I rethink speaking my comment out loud again, as she obviously didn't hear me over he thoughts. The conversation that Gale and I had Friday still weighed on my shoulders, not stressfully but that 'missing piece' still felt well… missing. I had decided, maybe nonchalantly bringing it up to my mother would help me feel better, he words would no doubt be that missing piece, but I decide for now to let it go. I don't honestly feel like having a deep conversation at the very moment.

"Katniss, hon?" My mother calls, stopping her pacing and standing at the foot of the bed. Her hair slightly tangled from the frenzy of writing all the needed things down.

"Hmm?" I reply, turning my attention from the window to her.

"Have you thought about getting things for the baby yet? And the nursery?" She asks, raising her eyebrows.

Half an hour later I find myself walking with my mother down the seam road, taking the quick road to the town. My mother has decided to go ahead and try to get the things on the list herself, not wanting to burden Gale anymore then he already is. I'm tagging along at the very matter of looking at the baby things some of the vendors have for sale or for trade.

I'm nervous.

I stuff my sweaty palms into my coat pocket. The weather has drastically changed within the four days I have been cooped up in the house. The temperature is nearly the same but the wind makes it feel much cooler. Fall unmistakably in the air. I bask it in though, enjoying the warm sun hitting me. It feels odd, to have my, now growing hair pulled into a pony tail instead of my normal braid, or even just unbraided and loose. My mother did my hair though, mentioning I'll be wearing it this way a lot in several months.

"Baby's like those braids, makes a good chew toy for them." She told me.

We walk into the Hob, the place pretty busy for mid-morning and mid-week. I spot Greasy Sae immediately, as well as another handful of vendors am pretty familiar with. I'm not fully prepared for how they will react when they see my mother and I looking for baby items. But first my mother pulls out the short list of items and things we need.

"Alright hon, you know the way around here better than I do." She says, handing me the list.

It's odd, both to be spending this time with my mother _and _for her to be in the Hob. My mother oddly though, knows almost as many people as I do.

"Mary!? Oh hello!" She says, taking off in the direction of the goats milk booth.

I shake my head and start making my rounds of the booths we need things from, without her. It doesn't bother me though. I find trading and buying the things somewhat relaxing, and I'd rather do it by myself than most likely hear my mother try to haggle with them. I get nearly everything on the list, buying an extra ball of yarn for my mother and not forgetting about the pencils. They are surprisingly easy to get, the Capitol sends a shipment of them to the District at least once a month. I finally sigh as I mentally check off the last item I was able to get on the list when I hear someone behind me.

"How's that baby doing?" Asks Greasy Sae in a hushes tone… for once.

"G…great." I say, stuttering for a split second as I see Darius enter the front doors behind her.

She makes small talk for a minute and I lose sight of Darius. She finally says a 'See ya later' when the bell rings at her booth, indicating a waiting customer. I begin walking around, searching for my mother. I find her at a booth of a woman who sells clothes that she either knits or sews together with old cloths, blankets, older clothes. It doesn't surprise me when my mother is looking at the 'baby selection' the woman has. I walk over to her, placing the basket that holds our bought items high on my hip. I approach right as the woman opens her mouth and begins speaking.

"Are you expecting miss?" She asks my mother. She laughs immediately.

"Oh no! My daughter is." My mother turns around right as I approach, motioning toward me.

"Oh!" The woman squeals, and I know that I have met her many times before, although I can't remember her name. "I heard you were pregnant! Congrats, dear!" She squeals again.

"You've heard?" I ask, sounding a bit harsh. Gale and I have barley told anyone.

"Oh yes, hon. It's going around the Hob here!" She says.

I'm immediately cursed with rage at the mere fact of it's being 'going around' the Hob, the news of the baby. I feel hatred toward Greasy Sae but I can't blame her. Lance, one of the Peacekeeper's overheard it and Darius knows too.

"People just can't keep their mouths shut huh?" The voice wasn't my own, or my mothers, or the ladies.

I turn around to be greeted with a smiling Darius, just feet away . . . . .

* * *

**_Chapter 26 Preview: What will happen when Katniss is forced to face Darius in front of her mother? What will Mrs. Everdeen think when she hears about the 'kiss'? And what things will Darius tell Katniss about the trip to the 'Capitol'? Will it make Katniss feel better, or worse? What will Gale think when he learns of the spreading pregnancy news? What will Katniss begin to think as she starts to physically (and mentally) prepare for the baby and the months ahead? Taking in extreme physical changes. What will happen when Gale brings up things Katniss wanted to so long forget? What will take place when Katniss is forced to return to work and face her boss again? And what will happen when Gale and Katniss pay a visit to the grieving, broken family of Thom? Things may surprise both the Everdeen's and the Hawthorns! Find out the answers to these many questions Saturday!_**


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N - Hello all, I am very sorry for the two day delay, it has been a very off and odd week for me. But... It's HERE! YAY! Now, this chapter isn't my best and I can admit it but you do get to learn about the past of Darius and the end of the chapter sets up for a butt load of drama! Also, it kind of dives into Katniss' pregnancy more and lets you know how she is taking the new and different changes. QUESTION: Do you think the story needs to end soon? Is it becoming too long and boring? PLEASE answer this important question for me in either a Review OR a Private Message!? I'm kind of having fun writing this story BUT am I rambling on and dragging it out? The story WILL pick up much speed though, meaning... * Katniss should have the baby within the next TWO (maybe three) Chapters! * :D**

**I want to thank my three reviewers, AbbyDaNinja, finewithnotbeingateennot and Firework7! EACH review, no matter how small means so much to ANY writter! AbbaDaNinja - Thank you SO much for your words, I'm glad you are enjoying the story that much! HUGS! XOXO**

**Okay peeps, I didn't get to add the 'Thom Family Visit' again BUT I'm actually going to be taking a different spin on that, so, you'll have to see! Again, not my best chapter but I've had a crazy week!:( And this chapter really is setting up for D-R-A-M-A! Ok.. Chapter 27 (WOW!) will be up either SUNDAY OR MONDAY and not Saturday, I have a busy week coming up and could use the extra day or two. Anywho, P-L-E-A-S-E review! They mean the WORLD to ANY writter! Well, Enjoy! MUCH love to ALL - Macayla**

*** Very slight sensuality in this Chapter.**

**I unofficially call this Chapter: "Moving On".**

* * *

I pull my coat a little tighter around myself as I make my way home from working with the children's music at school. I passed on the job offer, to which Principle Maddox agreed I should do. But I no longer teach the music by myself, Mrs. Mildred assists me everyday, making my job quicker, easier and a bit more enjoyable. With her help, I'm able to leave the school at lunch time now.

I'm almost home when I spot smoke coming from the chimney and the sight of Darius' weapons on the porch.

Darius.

It has been three weeks (to be exact) since I ran into him at the Hob with my mother. In a way, we made up. He even explained the whole thing to my own mother, to which he deeply apologized to her. I thought it might hinder my mother's and I's new found relationship, but thankfully it didn't. She laughed it off, surprisingly making a joke out of it all. Since then, Darius has made an offal lot of effort to visit me _but _Gale, my mother and Prim as well. Always trying to bring Prim some treat from the town. We don't talk about the kiss anymore, anyone of us. Darius has become closer and closer to _us_, and I don't hold it against him completely anymore. I think Gale does though, just slightly.

I open the door, letting the amazing smell of stew engulf me. It's lunch time and I'm starving. I close the front door to the sounds of people in the living room. I remove my coat and make my way over to the room. Darius is seated on the couch, flipping through a book and my mother is bent over the heath, mixing the large pot that hangs from it.

"Hello dear, how was work?" She asks me, making Darius turn his attention to me. He greets me with a quick 'hello' but quickly goes back to the book.

"It was fine. Just tired." I answer hoarsely and honestly. My mother stands up, making her way over to me.

"That's normal dear, you are twelve weeks pregnant you know?" She answers, winking at me.

Twelve weeks pregnant I am. The nausea and moody symptoms have begun to fade and after two weeks ago, I am no loner on 'bed rest'. It was back to work and back to reality. And reality has hit, especially several days ago when I realized the very slight rise on my abdomen. It took Gale, my mother, Mrs. Hazel and Prim nearly two hours to calm me of my fears and near panic attack I had. When I saw that _slight _raise, it become more of a reality. It flooded me with thoughts of the baby growing inside of me, meaning my child will have to face this evil, cruel District and world to which we all live in. Meaning also the reapings. I nearly blacked out again, but it was Gale after those two hours that brought me back. Making me happy about the realization of the proof of a baby rather than the future. He mentioned those bridges will be crossed later, if we even have to.

My mother's face widens as her grin does. And when I don't answer, she begins to slightly laugh.

"Why don't you take a nap until lunch is ready? I know you must be utterly tired." She speaks again, losing her grin for a sad smile.

With being twelve weeks pregnant now and forgetting the small evidence, also comes new and different symptoms. Tiredness I experienced before but it has worsen, making me tired just walking from the bathroom to the bed in the middle of the night. But if the tiredness wasn't enough, the dreams I have been having lately have been downright creepy and plain weird. Not nightmares though, just… odd. My mother says their normal and doesn't laugh when I tell her of them. Gale does though, and it bugs the heck out of me (and he knows it). The worst part though is the new strict diet my mother has on me. I thought with her moving back over to her home, down the street last week, I could sneak around it, but she insist in spending every waking daylight hours over at my own home, cooking and making sure I'm following the diet. The diet isn't hard though, it only consist of eating more greens and watching my intake and sugar, and making sure I drink plenty of water. There isn't much of a 'diet' for people who live in District 12, but there can be apparently.

I only smile at my mother but she gently turns me around by my shoulders, pushing my slightly to the staircase.

"What does Darius want?" I ask my mother before my foot touches the first step, speaking quietly.

"He came by to see everyone and drop something off." She answers in a whisper. I turn around while her hands are still on my shoulders.

"To drop what off?" I ask, raising my eyebrows.

"Oh just some old stuff. I'll show you when you get up." She replies, grinning widely and sounding more cheerful than ever.

She gives me a quick kiss on the cheek when I don't answer. I slowly make my way up the stairs, wishing for Gale to be home from hunting, but he isn't. Not yet. I make my way into the bedroom, dropping my game bag in the old rocking chair and grabbing some of my lounge clothes to change into from the dresser. I walk into the bathroom, setting the clothes on the counter, but I'm not in here to use the bathroom, or wash. I slowly, taking small, tip-toed steps, walk over to where the full length mirror is against the wall. I slowly step into the view of it. My hair pulled into my signature braid. I still wear my work clothes, a pair of long, black dress paints and a dark blue ruffled top. I would expect to see my small baby bump but I don't. I turn to the side.

Nothing.

If the shirt was tighter I could maybe spot it, but I can't with the loose top I currently have on. I lift my shirt up as I'm tiled to the side and low and behold… there it is. It's _small_ and looks like nothing more then a few extra pounds of fat on my stomach, but it's slightly firm. I put my free hand over it right as I see Gale entering the bathroom, standing directly in the view of the mirror. I whip around, removing my hand and yanking my shirt down.

"You didn't have to stop because I'm here." He speaks, covered in dirt from the morning in the woods and both his hands behind his back. He wears a small smile.

"I… I know." I hesitate with answering for a second, trying to find the words I want to say.

Gale's smile fades and guilt immediately engulfs me. Since the several days that the small bump has appeared, Gale hasn't tried to touch it once but his eyes are a different story. Every time I'm either naked or don't have my stomach covered, his eyes are on it, watching it intently. And every time he does, I either yank my shirt down/on me or pull a towel quickly around my body. I don't know why I do this. Insecurity? Ashamed? No, not ashamed. I'm not ashamed of the life that my own husband gave to me inside. But I ask myself, why am I keeping my own husband from experiencing this with me? But I haven't found an answer yet. Maybe I never will. I'm not really the romantic type… maybe that's it?

I sigh and rub a spot behind my ears. I instantly regret doing it, knowing that Gale knows I do it because I'm either nervous or worried. I'm both I guess. Gale's smile fades even more, quickly retreating to the bedroom. I grab the clothes quickly and join him. He sits on the end of the bed, his elbows perched on his knees and his head down. He holds something in his hands but I can't see what it is.

"Gale?" I speak, trying to get his attention. He appears to be obviously sad, missing his happy vibe he has been in the past three or four weeks since I've blacked out. It hits me, that maybe he's only been in that 'vibe' just for me, to keep the stress away?

He looks up at me, his grey eyes shinning back into mine. There's something there that I don't quiet register. But I walk over to him, looking at the thing that Gale is holding in his hands. I'm just a few inches away when Gale looks back to the thing or things in his hands. I follow his gaze and realize it's a pair of socks. They are a light blue, faded of course but they are small. _Extremely _small.

Baby socks.

I swallow loudly at the sight of them, starring at the little pair. They are small, especially in Gale's large hands. I bet to myself he couldn't fit two fingers into them. He looks back at me to which I again follow his gaze. Our matching grey eyes acting as a mirror. He takes the socks and places them on the bed, on top of my clothes, almost coldly but maybe not? He stands facing me, never taking his gaze off of me.

I look at the socks for a second, so small compared to my folded shirt that lays beneath them. I slowly move my gaze to Gale's, looking up at him. I expect him to say something. Maybe he expects me to say something… and I know I should. But we both stare at each other in complete silence. His eyes scan my body, but when his gaze hits my abdomen, he quickly looks back into my eyes.

"I'm sor-"

I'm speaking an apology to Gale, from keeping him for experiencing the pregnancy when suddenly I feel his arms wrap around me, gently laying his head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Gal-"

"Don't Katniss." He mutters into my neck. "I know this is scary." He adds, lifting his head up for our eyes to meet again. He keeps his arms safely around me, and I don't hesitate to scoot closer to him. "It's becoming real for me too, Katniss."

"I know, Gale. But I shouldn't keep pushing you away." I say, tears threatening to over spill me eyes. My words are honest and it's sad.

"You're not. If that thing started appearing on me I don't know that I would want everyone touching and looking at it, including you." He says, completely serious.

I can't help it but I laugh at the thought (and sight) of Gale having to go through what I have been going through the past weeks, months, but especially the past few days. He looks at me, not laughing but only suppressing a smile while my light sounds of laughter fills the room. He moves his hand up, touching the end of my braid while he speaks his next words-

"I'm serious though, Katniss." He says quietly, obviously holding in his laugh.

"Well maybe we should switch roles then?" I joke, trying to lighten the mood up some between us. Gale is understanding why I'm acting this way, I'm beyond lucky… I have a reason for this newly found happiness.

"If I could I would." He jokes back, only making me laugh harder at the thought.

The sound of my laughter ceases though when Gale brings his lips crashing into mine. I don't hesitate with kissing him fiercely back. We stand there kissing until _I _run out of breath, which it surprisingly quick. We stand there looking into each other's eyes. I realize to myself just how _lucky I am. _Most men, that I would think, would be completely mad and disgusted with me for trying to almost push them away… but not Gale. He understands. He's not yelling or getting mad (to my surprise!), but instead agreeing with me. Making me feel better about something that makes me upset and weighs me down. It's in this moment, right now, with smiles on both of our faces do I begin reaching for Gale's hand. But before I can my mother appears in the room, making us both turn our attention to her.

"Lunch is ready!"

XX

We all sit at the table while my mother fishes us out some of the stew into our waiting bowls. I sit next to Gale while Darius sits across from us. He has decided to stay for lunch, speaking that he brought some vegetables to make up for the extra stew.

"Is that what you wanted to drop off?" I ask him, bringing my first bite to my mouth. He doesn't answer right away but chews and swallows the bite in his mouth first.

"No. I actually brought some old baby clothes over." He answers. "I gave them to your mom." He adds, finishing with a small smile. That would explain the socks.

"Thanks." Gale says, getting the words out before I can.

For a split, and very quick second I feel anger toward Darius, but to be honest… I have no clue why. He brought over baby clothes, that we will _need_. I shouldn't be mad, but grateful.

"Thank you." I add on top of Gale's. Darius nods.

"No problem. Their all boy clothes." He says, raising one eyebrow. I'm about to speak, that maybe it will be a boy than when Gale speaks before me-

"Were they your's?" Gale jokes, grinning widely. My mother laughs as she takes the seat next to Darius and he scowls. I can't help my own grin.

"No!" He answers defensively. "They were my wife's and I's when she was expecting." He answers.

The bite I had on my mouth immediately lodges in my throat at Darius' words, causing me to choke and cough loudly. Gale pats my back frantically but I wave him away.

"Fine. I'm fine." I say in between coughs.

I pull myself together and finally swallow the bite and take a sip of my water. I go back to Darius' words. Him? Married? A wife? He can't still be married? Not the way he acts. He doesn't even wear a wedding ring, not that many people here do though, I'm one of the few. But a lot of people from the town, including Peacekeeper's do.

"You're married?" My mother asks, taking the words right out of my mouth.

"I _was _married." He says coldly, pushing his half eaten bowl of stew away from him.

"Was?" I question. Death and divorce are common here in twelve, both are. So I assume one of the two.

"It's a long story." He answers, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms.

"We have time." Gale says. I prepare for my mother to say something, that he doesn't have to answer but she doesn't to my surprise.

Darius sighs, staring intently at his bowl of stew and obviously avoiding our gaze. I feel nearly guilty, that I should speak my mother's unspoken words, that he doesn't have to answer. It's mostly likely death anyway, as that's more common than divorce.

"It was the Capitol." He says coldly, wearing an expression of hatred across his face that I'm sure can be seen from a mile away. "That's where I come from you know?" He asks/adds, finally looking in our gaze.

"We didn't… I didn't." My mother answers, speaking softly.

"Well I do." He answers, placing his folded arms on the table. "All Peacekeepers do. When you're sixteen, you're shipped out to two for a three year training before you're an official Peacekeeper." He says. I find myself listening intently as little it known about Panem's Peacekeeper's. "I was the youngest, only two days short of sixteen when they shipped me with the latest group. Everyone hated me." He continues. "I was on top during all of the physical stuff. I was the one to beat. There was this one girl though, one of the few girls in our squad. She was short, tiny and had straight black hair and bright grey eyes, almost blue and extremely uncommon for a Capitol person."

I find myself listening even more intently as he describes someone that obviously looked like myself. Darius looks at me and so does my mother and Gale. They all smile for a second, including Darius.

"So we became close, graduated the academy the same year and both got shipped here to twelve. She was pregnant before we even officially started working. So we quickly married." He says. "We were both excited. We loved our new jobs, we made each other happy and we were excited about being parents… together… But…" His expression quickly darkens, filling the room with tension.

"But?" I find myself questioning. He picks up his glass of water, bringing it to his lips but not drinking it.

"It was the _damn _Capitol." He mutters with the glass to his lips. He takes a quick sip, bringing the glass cup back onto the table hard and loud, splashing water onto his hand and the table.

"What'd they do?" Gale asks in a whisper like tone. The pure hatred still written across Darius' face makes me slightly uncomfortable… it's rare to see him this way. I can't say I ever have.

"It's the _Capitol_." He answers, like we are dumb. "It's Panem."

He stops for a second, wearing a scowl on his face. The tension in the room only becomes tighter but I can see both Gale and my mother leaning some, listing intently as I am. I wish for Darius to continue and he does. His expression drops from being filled with rage, fire and hatred to a sad, lonely face. His voice lowers and becomes much more softer.

"We were just weeks shy of our boys birth. We were so excited." He says, staring back at his bowl and a small smile forming between his lips. I find myself smiling back, my mother too. "The Capitol wanted to ship me back to two, to train some new kids for the three years. My wife wasn't a Peacekeeper anymore so she wasn't shipped there and couldn't come with me." He says, finally looking at us. Each one of us. "So I refused. But you don't refuse the Capitol." He speaks coldly. "So, they gave me warnings to be on the next train… over and over again but I kept refusing."

I find myself sitting up straighter to listen better, ignoring the hungry feeling in my stomach and the waiting, hot bowl of stew in front of me. Both Gale and my mother has quit eating for the moment too. I feel a hurting, sad pit in the bottom of my stomach as Darius continues.

"So… I got back late at night from working… she was gone." He says disgustingly, shaking his head. "All that was left was a note from President Snow and her wedding ring where his signature was written." I find a tear falling down my cheek and I fight back more. "And all that was left of my baby was those clothes and the nursery we had set up."

"I'm so sorry, I never knew you went through all of this." My mother speaks softly, sounding sad. Darius shakes his head frantically but keeps his gaze down.

"It was my fault anyways." He says, nearly whispering the words. I'm at a lost for my own feelings and opinions of this matter. "It was my _damn _fault!" Darius says louder, a fire of rage burning inside of him.

"You can't blame yourself for it, Darius." Gale speaks calmly. "I would have done the same." He adds, looking at me. I return his gaze. But I hear Darius laughing coldly.

"Is she alive still? And your son, was he ever born? Do you know?" My mother speaks softly, like when Prim is sick, loosening some of the tight tensioned that quickly surfaced. Gale and I turn our attention to her and Darius laughs coldly again.

"I… I don't know. I'm sure dead… both of them." He answers, sighing loudly. "But… that was years ago. I've moved on now."

At Darius' 'I've moved on now' words, it seems to strike me someway. That we have to move on from our grief's, our fears, our doubts, our worries and we have to just simply… _move on_. It's not easy, obviously, but I think of how outgoing and funny Darius is most of the time, rarely acting with sadness and hatred that was just portrayed. I'm flashed with an image of reverse. If it was Gale in Darius' shoes. I could picture a heartbroken Gale, a drunk, depressed Gale… like our District Victor/Mentor, Haymitch Abernathy. Darius is strong, and I find myself speaking my next words before I can stop them.

"Thank you… for sharing your story. I'm sorry they did that to you." I say, speaking honestly and holding back more tears. I'm confused if the emotions are the hormones or just rare for me. But I never speak so formal.

"It's ok." He answers, sounding a bit more… hopeful. He brings his class of water to his lips and mutters his next words into it.

"Welcome to Panem."

XX

"You smell good."

Gale mutters into my neck as he begins leaving a trail of hot kisses down my neck. I laugh, as it's most likely the scented candles my mother makes that lights the darkened night bedroom. I sigh and enjoy the feeling of the cool air on my bare body that's blowing in through the opened window. The sheets on the bed feeling more comfortable then usual and the hot, warm feeling of Gale's lips against my skin make me crawl with anticipation for more.

Gale starts working hot, wet kisses down my neck, collar bone and starts working on both of my breasts. I hold in my small gasps of pain at the notice that's he's enjoying them more then usual, being larger then my normal size. While his mouth is working on one of them his hand is slightly tugging in my unbraided hair, making a loud moan escape my lips before I can stop it. I try to be mindful of our family 'neighbors' as the window is wide open. I moan more as his fingers begin moving, making a soft, slow trail down my neck, chest, my other breast and down my stomach. I know his fingers are going to reach it any second now and I'm not sure what he'll do. Finally though, his fingers do graze it and he stops. Dead in his tracks. His mouth stops too.

It's now in _this _moment that I decide now is the time. What could be more romantic and sentimental than this moment right here? I sit my head up from my pillow, bringing my lips to Gale's hair and reaching for his hand. I don't know why I'm so… scared? Nervous?… of Gale touching where our baby is growing. Maybe at the meaning? Maybe at the realization yet again of having a life we _both _have to care for and take care of _together_? I throw away these… worries and grasp Gale's hand. Slowly bringing it back up to my abdomen and resting in there… finally.

"It's okay." I whisper.

The feeling is incredible. The simple touch of Gale's hand where our baby _is_. Maybe it was that? The feeling of a connection that scared me? With this simple touch it makes us… a family, therefore connected. I decide now to move on from _all _of my fears that come with this baby. That come with being a mom (to be). That come with being a wife. That come's with being a wife and mother in _Panem_, with the Capitol ruling us. That come with the thought and image of the reapings, the Hunger Games. I throw away _all _of these fears away, life is tto short to worry, and think back to what Darius just said earlier today. Move on.

_I'm moving on._

XX

I wake up from a peaceful sleep, the feeling of Gale's arms tightly around me, his hand resting gently on barley visible bump and the feeling of early morning sunshine falling on me warms me with a feeling that's indescribable. It has been one week (yesterday actually) that I 'moved on' from the fears that drowned me. And I can say, honestly, it has been one of the best weeks in a long time, and in Gale's and I's marriage. I decide, with this new found energy and this beautiful, sunny Saturday to make a quick trip to the woods. Not to hunt, but to gather wood and other supplies to make Rory's bow and arrows with. This 'energy' I have newly found is common my mother says for being thirteen weeks in now. She says I'm starting my second trimester, and it's the most enjoyable. I can understand why, some. My morning sickness is completely gone, my last time being last week, my breasts aren't so tender (to Gale's liking now) and I'm starving… constantly. Gale only laughed when I made him make a quick trip to the woods last night to get me a squirrel at twelve am. It took him an hour to hunt one down but he finally did get one, bringing it home for me and cooking it.

I was pleased.

The bump _has _grown but only a _little_. My tank tops and tight fitted shirts are the only things that make it visible with clothes on and with the cool weather, I don't wear either kinds of shirts without a coat or jacket over it though. Gale hasn't been able to keep his hands off of it now.

I look over to him, the sound of his heavy, sleepy breathing filling the room. I carefully and quietly undo his arms from around me, swinging my legs out of the bed and changing into my day clothes quickly. My jeans _barley _fit, I'm unable to fasten the top button but thankfully my shirt and my dark grey jacket cover it. I quickly lace up my boots, braid my hair and grab my game bag. I quietly tip-toe down the stairs, hoping Prim is still asleep. Thankfully, the house is still untouched and looks exactly the same when I went to bed last night. Prim's bedroom door is tightly sealed still. I smile, making my way over to the front door. I stop, surveying the quiet home one more time before bringing my hand to rest on my abdomen through my layers of clothes.

"Time to go pumpkin."

I stop. Dead. For the first time, I just 'talked' to my baby. I can't help it, but a smile quickly appears on my face, fating my cheeks out. I'm not sure why I called the baby 'pumpkin', maybe all the Harvest Festival decorations that have been appearing all over the District? I assume it's that and I actually _like _the nickname. 'Pumpkin?', I mutter under my breath. I give my head a 'nod of approval', making my way to the woods.

I quickly find the wood and vines needed, using Gale's long hunting knife from the hollow log to cut it. It takes me nearly a half hour but I finally manage to cut the bark and collect the tough vines. Suddenly, as I'm bending down to pick up the last vine I hear footsteps behind me. Instantly I go for my bow and arrow but quickly realize I didn't grab them, I settle for the knife and whip around, ready to attack.

"Whoa! Just me, Catnip!"

I feel like slapping the crap out of him. Gale stands there, wearing a semi-grin and messy hair. I scowl at him and he does too, mocking me in return.

"Don't scare me like that!" I say defensively, carefully sliding the knife back into my belt.

Gale helps me collect the wood and vines, insisting he carry them. I don't complain, my back is oddly hurting me from all that sawing. We start making the quick trip back to the fence, meanwhile listening to a rant from Gale about 'You're pregnant, you can't be out here by yourself…' and so on. Finally I can't take it anymore… right as we reach the fence-

"Shut up!"

XX

"Hey kids!" Greasy Sae greets us as we approach her booth in the Hob, Gale and I both sitting on the high stools placed in front of her booth.

We decided to visit her for some soup, since Prim is visiting a friend for the day. I realize Greasy Sae fills my bowl all the way instead of halfway like usually. I smile and _don't _complain.

"Picked out a name yet for the squirt?" She asks, her southern accent sounding oddly like the funny Capitol accent.

"Yep… Squirt." Gale jokes. I find myself joining in with the laughter and thinking if we _should _have a name already? We don't even know the gender?

"Hey…" Someone tries to get our attention from the booth next to us, I realize it's Johnny, one of the many men(and woman) who sell alcohol here. "… I had a son once. He was names after me, but we all called him Squirt." He says.

"What happened to him?" Gale asks. I know the answer before he says it…

"Games." He says quietly, hanging his head low and getting back to trading with a customer.

I instantly feel myself tense us, just at the mention of the word 'games'. I'm flooded back with the fantasy of having my own child growing inside of me die in the games.

Moving on, Katniss. _Moving on _from that fear.

"Such a shame." Greasy Sae speaks, beginning to chop up a wild hog Gale caught for her yesterday. "You know, the Victory Tour's come'n in just a few short weeks here?" She says, finally looking up from her doings.

Gale's about to open his mouth when I suddenly feel an arm around me. I look over my shoulder to see no one other than Darius of course. He seems slightly winded.

"Everything okay sweetie pie?" Greasy Sae asks. I would laugh if it wasn't for the pure panic written across his face.

"Damn Airgusta… That's all I can say." He answers, clearly out of breath. He takes the seat next to me, motioning to Greasy Sae for some soup. She quickly pours him some.

We sit in silence for a while, finishing our soup. The thought of the 'games' still flood my mind so I find myself carefully and intently watching Greasy Sae chop up the carcass of the wild hog. Darius finishes before us, sliding his bowl back to her and putting his pay down on the counter.

"I'm out. Back to work." He says, standing and retrieving his hard vest that goes over his Peacekeeper uniform from the floor. He starts to walk away but yells something quickly over his shoulder. "Don't forget about next week, Gale!"

And with that he's gone.

XX

"What's next week?" I ask Gale for the millionth time as we are approaching our home, walking fast to keep up with Gale's large strides.

"I told you it was nothing Katniss." He says, obviously trying to 'keep his cool'.

"Gale! Don't hide this from me!" I shout, slowly finding my anger rising.

I'm beyond mad at Gale, for not telling me whatever it is Darius mentioned. We are walking up the front porch steps, his hand on the door knob when I slip between him and the door.

"Gale!?" I shout, louder then intended.

"Katniss! You don't have to know every damn thing I do." He says through gritted teeth. "We've had this conversation before, right here!" He throws in there.

I do remember what he is talking about… shortly after we married, I had went off on him for something. About not telling me something and we fought. Right here on this front porch. I take a deep breath and look into Gale's cold grey eyes. His messy hair even worse than this morning.

"Let's go inside." He says lightly and quietly, obviously reading my angered expression and no answer. Trying to tone the saturation back down.

He begins to lightly, gently scoot me to the side of the door, wrapping an arm around my growing waist. I place my hand firmly over his that rest on my hip.

"No." I say, not really knowing why.

"Katniss, I don't want my mom hearing us arguing." He says gently, raising an eyebrow at me and licking his top lip. He knows that gets me every time… but not this time.

"So now you're hiding things from you mom too?" I ask coldly, scowling.

Immediately I want to slap my hand over my mouth. Yes, my words are honest but I have no idea why I am going off on Gale like this. Maybe because I _am _pissed at him? Gale, who normally would already be going off on me hasn't… until now. His expression quickly darkens. I've seen it on Gale, many times but I haven't since I've told him about the baby. I swallow hard and find myself staring into his eyes that reflect pain.

Pain?

He's the one in pain when he's the one keeping things from me? I feel like using my hand again, but not on my own self. I refrain from slapping him for now as he begins to speak…

Yell.

XX

I comfortably slip into the covers on the bed, letting the sound of night animals rock me to sleep. There's no arms wrapped around me tonight, but instead a large empty space between the two of us in the middle of the large bed. I turn over quietly, expecting to see Gale through the darkness. I don't quite though, only his darkened silhouette. I don't try to reach out for him, to tell him everything is ok.

I'm mad… still.

It's been our first official 'big' fight in quite some time, and Gale still hasn't told me what Darius was talking about. Gale became quickly angered earlier, yelling at me enough to bring tears to my eyes. He didn't care… and that hurts. My mother calmed me down some, but only some.

I turn back over, than back over… than back over. I sigh angrily and realize… I can't sleep. It's not easy to sleep when you are angry… beyond pissed. It's at the last burst of complete rage that I finally yank the covers off of myself, going to the rocking chair and retrieving my thin, small robe. I find my black flats and slip them on, pulling my hair into a messy ponytail as I make my way downstairs. I brace myself for the chilly, 'middle of the night' weather as I open the front door.

Before I can stop myself, I'm making my way to Darius' home….

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_**Chapter 27 Preview: What will Darius have to say and think when he finds a distressed Katniss pounding on his door in the middle of the night? Will Darius open up and tell Katniss whatever he meant by his words to Gale? And will his words about the odd, Capitol Visit help Katniss feel better about it or worse? What will take place when Thom's mother approaches Katniss, asking for a favor beyond Katniss' nature? What will happen when the Harvest Festival finally approaches? Will the free-spirited, fun event help Katniss let some much needed steam off? Will the things said and done at Darius' hinder or help Katniss' and Gale's new found hurting relationship? And what will take place when Katniss experiences something in her pregnancy that scared her to death? threatening to send her into a deep depression. Will Gale be there for her? Find out the answers to these tough questions Sunday!**_


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N - SURPRISE! It's EARLY!:D I didn't think I would be able to write it, post it and have it sealed and delivered for you all until either Sunday or Monday but... SURPRISE! You all deserve it, since you are all amazing readers!;) This chapter, took a slightly different turn then I expected, in a good way though. It has alot about the Harvest Festival, which I enjoyed imagining how I thought it would be. Also, I picked Prim's birthday to be what it is (you'll read and find out) for nothing in particular... I just thought Prim should be a teenager now;). It didn't pick up as much speed as I had hoped, but some the next chapter definitely will, several months to be exact. Also, I used the song "Do you hear the people sing?" From Les Miserable in this chapter and of course, rightful copyright goes to the rightful owners there;)**

**THANK YOU.. Firework7 (of course!), Ephesians613 (Love the name!), finewithnotbeingateennot and AbbyDaNinja for reviewing! I always get excited when I get to read a new review from my oh so wonderful readers! Firework7 - Thank you for answering the question. I had wanted to ask to see what everyone opinions were on it. It will be picking up speed though, I'm REALLY eger to get to the baby!:D finewithnotbeingateennot - Yes. I have several ideas but I'm not set on an exact name yet for the baby. I _do _know the official gender so that helps. You'll just have to wait and find out (the wait will NOT be too long now!) :D**

**So... I really hope you enjoy this chapter! Again, it went a little different then I had planned but I have to say it's one of my favorites, not my favorite but one of them. Oh.. I also want to give a HUGE shout out to my nearly 20,000 readers! 40 'Favorites' and 73 'Followers'! Those numbers have already exceeded "Finding The Time's" and that warms my heart! I really do have HUGE plans for the end of this story and the baby! I'm so excited for you all to read it. Chapter 28 will be up SATURDAY or SUNDAY (Not tomorrow's Saturday;). Anywho, Chapter 27 awaits you all! PLEASE leave some feedback through a REVIEW or even a private message to tell me what you think about this chapter. REVIEW! Much love.. S-O much love - Macayla**

**I unofficially call this Chapter: "Real Promises."**

**Ps and Pss - I have much bigger plans than what I have wrote on the Chpt. 28 Preview... it's going to be filled with alot of important, story changing stuff. AND I have BIG news! Stay on alert on the Facebook page!**

* * *

I ignore the blistering cold breeze on my bare legs as the small nightgown and thin robe do little to conceal the cool weather. My burning hatred and anger is enough to wade it off for the moment though. I quickly make my way through the deserted Seam and into town, the far side, where a line of some of the nicest homes reside. Their no way near fancy, but the nicer than the Seam, much.

'_I don't know why we tried this.'_

The words of Gale pop into my head, making me stop in my tracks as the road that leads to Darius' home appears under my feet. Gale had yelled those words to me before slamming the front door in my face(That's when I went to my mothers). The words had instantly stricken me and still do. What did he mean by that? It's pretty obvious though, our marriage, being a couple. I thought he loved me?

A tear falls from my eye's and down my cheek as I mount the steps of Darius' front porch. There's not sound of creaking steps like our, my own home but instead steady, concrete steps. The white paint is chipping though. I wipe my tears from my cheeks and take a deep breath before knocking on his door several times. I knock loud, both that my hands are made into tight fists and the anger that's ever so evident inside of me burning. My other hand comes to rest on my abdomen.

No answer.

I knock again, this time loud enough that I'm sure his whole neighborhood heard it. It's not long before I hear coughs and feet from behind the door. The door suddenly swings open to a half awake Darius.

"What the hell-" He starts going off. "Oh, Katniss!" He immediately changes his tone from angered to utterly surprised. His bright red hair sticks up in every direction and his bright eyes become more alert when he notices it's me.

For a second, I'm confused at why Darius is surprised to see me. But I guess it's not every day a crying, teenage, pregnant Seam girl comes knocking on your door at two am in the morning. He begins to squint his eyebrows and I can tell his brain is still trying to wake from sleep. 'Why am I here?' I ask myself.

"What's next week?" I choke out.

XX

"Here." Darius says, wrapping yet another blanket around my body.

I sit on his couch, after he insisted I come in from the cold weather. He places what must be the fifth blanket around my shoulders but I'm already sweating from anger. I let him do it though, I don't want to upset him as I haven't gotten an answer yet to my question.

The home is quite comforting to my surprise. The house is filled with fading, bright colors. I particularly like the green on the walls, not that I'm into home décor? I sit on the couch in the living room that is off of the front door. The kitchen and dinning room is obstructed by a wall with an open doorway in the middle. It's small, and the large staircase seems to take up half the living room. I wonder to myself what the upstairs looks like? But I'm not here for that.

"What's next week?" I ask, sounding more persistent.

He seems to be scrambling through papers or books on the clear coffee table but doesn't answer my question. He finally gives up looking for whatever he was looking for and takes a seat on the couch next to me, on the opposite end.

"What's wrong, Katniss?" He asks me, lowering his voice to a softer tone.

"I'm asking you a question, Darius!" I start to raise my voice, slowing losing my ever so little patience.

"Is that why you're crying? Because he won't tell you?" He asks me, scooting a little closer as I feel another silent tear fall from my eyes.

I reply his question(s) again in my head. Why _am _I crying? I ask myself. Why? Yes, Darius is right. I am crying because he won't tell me but also how he treated me, and what he said.

'_I don't know why we tried this.'_

The words lodge in my brain, sending another silent tear down my cheek. Darius scoots closer yet again, our shoulders touching. I avoid his gaze and stare intently at the picture on the wall.

"Come on. You know you can talk to me." I hear Darius say softly through my haze.

Before I can stop myself, I spill and release all that was boiled up inside of me. Speaking on how Gale, indeed, won't tell me what's 'next week' and what Gale said to me. That he yelled and hesitantly pushed me aside, slamming the door in my face. At me last words, the words that keep lodging in my head I finally release all of my tears, weeping loudly. But I also finally feel a tremendous weight lifted off of my back, something my own mother didn't even do for me.

"It's okay." He speaks, gently pushing me towards him. My head quickly finds his chest where I continue to weep.

His arms that are wrapped around me are… different. There's no love, but it's comforting, calming and for the first time… peaceful. Maybe Gale didn't mean his words? Everyone knows in the District how quickly and easily Gale can get angered and loose his temper? Darius sits me up, wiping the tears on my cheeks away with his hand.

"Hey… everything's going to be ok." He speaks softly. "I'm sure he didn't mean what he said." His hand finds my hair, brushing away the lone strains that found themselves in my eyes.

"But why is he keeping this from me?" I feel myself sitting up straighter. "And you are too if you're not telling me!" I shout, sniffling the snot in my nose.

His appearance changes immediately and becomes even more softer, almost hollow. He undoes the one arm that was still around my and perches his elbows on his knees. He takes a deep loud breath.

"Do you every stop and think…" He begins. "That sometime's people hide things, for other people's own good?" He asks me, turning his gaze to me. He's waiting for an answer, and I'm having trouble finding one. He's not going to let me get away without answering though.

"Yes…no… I don't know Darius!" I answer, stuttering but finding myself hanging onto every ounce of Darius' words.

"Well…" He sighs loudly. "Sometimes Katniss, people do. It's not that it's bad, or that it's something the other person _shouldn't _know…" He speaks. "But sometimes, it's to protect both the feelings and the life of the ones they love."

I'm not sure how to process his words, of course I know what Darius means by this, and it's true. I understand but I'm not sure how this applies to this situation. What's going on that Gale is trying to _protect _me from? Protect our child from? Could it have anything to do with the Hunger Games? With the ever growing and increasing Airagusta threats?

"Katniss?" His voice breaks my haze again. When I look to meet his gaze, he laughs quickly. Not coldly, but briefly. "I know that I'm not Gale, or your mother, or Prim but… do you trust me?" He asks me.

I yet again re-ask his question in my head. Do I _really _trust Darius? I hear his light laugh again and when I do the answer surprisingly pops into my head without further questions. It's an honest answer though and it shocks me.

"Yes." I reply. A small smile appears on his face but my face remains straight.

"Then Katniss," He says, taking one of my hands into his. "You have to trust me that I can't answer your question right now." He squeezes it and I feel immediate comfort. I shake my head, but I still feel something… missing? Wrong? Hurting?

"But why did he say what he said?" I ask. "That we shouldn't have tried this?" Tears threaten to reappear but I hold them back.

"He's under stress Katniss." He says, but there's almost an… edge? in his voice. "If I were you…" He says through a long breath, releasing my hand and leaning back on the couch, resting his arms over the back of it. "I'd let something like that, from him, roll right off of your back." He says, yawning afterwards.

Darius is right, in a way but before I can answer or think about his answer more, he speaks again-

"You're too pretty to let him put that sad face on you." He adds, grinning afterwards. He sits up, perching his elbows on his knees again, staring at his hands but still grinning. "You need to march back in that home, show him that he can't bring you down." He speaks. He looks over to me and I find myself matching his grin but I'm not entirely sure why. "Now get the hell outta here before he finds out you're here. He'll kick my ass!"

I find myself laughing, accompanying my grin. Of course, Darius couldn't be serious for to long. I brush the blankets off of my shoulders and stand, wrapping my robe tighter around myself as I feel slightly exposed with my little clothing in front of Darius. I don't have time to register how this 'talk' now makes me feel quite yet.

"Thank you… for listening." I say, smiling instead of grinning. He smiles back, and I take that as my quoi to leave.

I begin walking to the door, taking one more sight in of the small picture hanging on the wall. My hand is on the door knob, turning it when he speaks again.

"Hey!" He shouts. I turn around to find him standing. "You know, if you ever need to talk like that again… I'm always here."

For the first time, the smile that appears on my face isn't forced, or put on by laughter or ridiculous antics but it's genuine, heartfelt.

"Thank you, Darius." I respond. He winks before he speaks his next words.

"Anytime."

XX

"Damnit!" I sigh and curse loudly at yet again dropping the berry on to the dirt filled, grassy ground I was trying to eat.

I sit outside in the front yard, letting the warm, Tuesday afternoon sun warm me up as I begin to work on Rory's bow and arrows. I ignore Gale as he returns home, entering the house. Returning from where? I do not know, nor do I care. It has been two weeks since my talk with Darius. That night, I marched back into our, my home to find Gale not there, but I kept my head held high and showed Gale that morning, when he returned home, that he _wasn't _going to stop me from being happy. We haven't said much to either in these long, two weeks, but both of our families know there's something going on. No one asks though, only my mother as she knows what's really been going on. People in the Hob have their speculations as we no longer go there together currently. Gale and Rory are the only ones that hunt right now, I don't for the fact of what Gale had said to me, about not going alone. I can't say I want to hunt with someone who won't even look at me for longer than five seconds. Gale is never home anymore anyway, but I let that worry 'roll right off of my back'. Remembering Darius' words.

Gale hasn't _completely _ignored me though, when I nearly tripped yesterday morning coming down the stairs, it was his arms that caught me. Although the 'Are you okay?' and 'You're welcome' were both cold. He asks me about the baby at least once a day, or every other day. But I wish we would make up, that Gale would apologize and speak that he didn't mean his words, that he didn't mean to yell in my face and slam the door.

I want my husband back.

I miss his arms around me, his comforting words when I wake from a nightmare or after a long morning at work. His soft, warm kisses on my neck. It's simple…

I want my husband back.

I want my husband back for the fact of going through this pregnancy _with _him. I'm fifteen weeks in now… and it's been _hell_ these few days.

I constantly and continuously drop and nearly trip over _anything _and _everything_. My mother says with the growing bump that my center of balance is thrown off, and I'm retaining water, which explains my slippery fingers. I'm also realizing I'm easily forgetting some things, like the Capitol Visit meeting for Prim yesterday. Thankfully she remembered. I answered to her about it with a 'No', but I'm finding myself rethinking the situation strangely. I make a mental note to visit and ask Darius about it… if I can remember?

I shake my head of my thoughts and reposition myself on the ground. The baby bump _has _grown indeed. Not much, but it's noticeable without any of my coats on. The tight fitted tank top and jeans I currently have on clearly show the rise on my stomach. I like it though, but I wonder what Madge will think whenever I see her?

I shake my head yet again of my thoughts, beginning to carefully carve the wood with the short, _sharp _knife. My loose hair gets into my face but I ignore it, finding the job a bit comforting. I'm nearly done with carving the delicate notch at the center of the wood when my finger slips, driving the _extremely _sharp knife point directly into it. I scream in pain and the smell and sight of blood immediately appears. I drop both the knife and wood when I hear the front door open frantically and my name being called. The pain is almost blinding and I wonder how from a stab wound to my _finger_.

"Katniss!?" Someone says behind me and the voice easily belongs to Gale.

He crotches down on my level in front of me as I watch pool after pool of blood flow from the tip and side of my index finger. It stains my jeans and grass. I yelp in pain as Gale takes my hand, with the finger into his own hand, examining the wound.

"What happened?" He asks me softly, staring at the open, bleeding, pussy wound. I yelp in pain again before answering.

"Knife." I say through a ragged breath, indicating to it with my head. He looks at it, then back to me.

"It looks like it reached the bone." He says, turning his attention back to my finger. "I'm going to get your mom." He says, starting to help me stand.

"No." I speak quickly as I stand with a steady arm around my waist. "She's…. at… Robertson's. Across town." I stutter some at the pure sight of blood continuously dripping from my hand now and landing on the ground.

Gale gently leads me into the home as I scream painfully, shutting the door behind us and leading me to the kitchen sink. I put my hands over it, yelping, letting it stain the sink red quickly. Gale begins to leave me and mounts the stairs quickly. I instantly want him to come back as the pain grows more and more intense. I begin to think is this what labor will feel like? No, it can't be _this _bad. I scream again as I feel Gale's steady hand at the center of my back. He holds something white in his hands and I know what he is doing. He takes my finger in his grip, getting hearty feedback from me-

"Damnit Gale! It's hurts!" I shout through completely gritted teeth. It's been a long time since I've experienced pain like this… and I'm normally alright with pain.

"I'm sorry, Katniss." He says softly, unwrapping the white linen. "We have to stop the bleeding, you'll losing a lot of blood from just your finger." He explains, gently beginning to wrap it.

I bite my bottom lip and let out a slight gasp as the pain hits and the sight of the white cloth becoming instantly red. I look to Gale and hurting and pain registers in his eyes. He's not enjoying putting me through this pain and I feel comfort by that.

After several minutes of wrapping and wrapping, very slight blood appears on the cloth. Gale begins to speak that I may have cut open a vain as he sits me on the couch in the living room. He gives me what little pain medicine we have left with a glass of water, and it immediately kicks in, relieving much of the pain. Gale takes the seat next to my on the couch, but it's surprisingly not silent.

"Did your finger slip?" He asks me, still softly and eyeing me intently. I shake my head 'yes'. "You have to be careful, Katniss." He speaks, again, sounding softer and calmly as ever.

"I went to Darius'." I blurt out, looking over at him and letting the words slip before I could even stop them. "The night that we fought."

His eyebrows raise and his expression immediately changes. I'm not sure to what though? Shock? It looks to be a bit of that. Worry? Most likely that too. My other hand comes to rest on my bump and so does my eyes. I don't really have a clue why I'm speaking of this out of the pure blue. Maybe that I'm tired of us ignoring each other?

"I'm not mad at you." I let out, moving my gaze to his heavy one. "You just hurt me. With your words."

"Katniss…" He begins, scooting closer to the edge of the couch and dropping his hand to my leg, close to my bump. "I did _not _mean a _word _that I said! I love you _so _much Katniss." He says, scooting even closer to me.

A silent tear falls from my eyes and I'm confused at what feelings and emotions I currently have.

"I love you, Katniss." He repeats, wrapping his arms around my waist and laying his head gently on top of the small but there bump.

It's the first time Gale has ever done something so sweet and genuine like this to the bump besides touching it. And it's at this touch and gesture that I realize I _do _forgive and believe Gale, that I know he didn't mean those words. Don't we all loose our temper and say _and do _things we later regret, and realize were wrong and untruthful? I know I have, even to Prim but especially my mother. It's at Gale's next words that make me smile with joy-

"I love this little one, too."

XX

"Wake up! Happy Birthday!"

A mixture of Gale's voice, my own voice, my mothers voice and of course the boys, Rhoda and Mrs. Hazel fill Prim's bedroom early on this Saturday morning. Gale holds my hand carefully as my finger is still _extremely _sore. Another two weeks have passed and the ending of October is coming, which means Prim's birthday is today. We always celebrate my means of the Harvest Festival, which always seems to be on her birthday. I give a quick kiss and a 'Happy Birthday' to Prim before giving quick kiss to Gale too. I make my way out of the crowded bedroom and into the living room where my dark brown hunting boots wait, Gale follows me.

Our marriage has been… 'back on track' since we have made up two weeks ago after I stabbed my finger. It hasn't been easy, but it's been alright. He's happy. I'm happy, so were good.

I bend down to retrieve my boots right as I feel my inner muscles clinch up tightly, causing a gasp from me. Gale's arms are quickly on my back, helping me stand straight. Last week I nearly fainted when I first felt this odd feeling and I was at work… alone, I was sixteen weeks in and my mother explained that they were normal, it was called something but I can never remember. Their pretty much practice contractions and I _hate _them. Their not painful, just highly uncomfortable. Especially at night time.

Gale helps me walk around the room as I wait for it to fade away. I'm able to stand them now with deep breaths and Gale arms around me, differing from the crying and 'freaking out' attitude I had with them last week. I have just entered my seventeen week the other day, and it's been pretty good expect for the bump and full breast. My clothes are harder and harder to get into and I find myself either not buttoning my pants are wearing them low. The bump has grown just slightly.

"What time do you have to be at the school?" Gale asks me through my haze. I stand up straighter, leaving my hand on my bump and resting my others on top of Gale's the reside at the bottom of my back. I sigh before I answer.

"Ten minutes." I answer, judging my the sunlight coming in through the opened living room window.

The Harvest Festival is today, which means the children will be performing some of their songs they have learned. I sigh again as I realize this responsibility. We have been practicing the songs none-stop for the past two or three months but the children are nervous, including myself. Thank God for Mrs. Mildred though, who seems to keep us on track and excited for this event today.

But I'm also nervous about something else. My tight fitted, mid-sleeve white shirt clearly shows off the small bump and I know I'll be seeing people who might not know today. At school, my students should I say, do not know about the baby as I've been careful to hide it with oversized shirts and coats. And I know I'll see Madge today. I clear my head and turn my attention back to Gale right as he answers.

"Well, better get going." He says. "Do you want me to walk over with you? I don't mind?" He asks, being mindful of both how nervous I am and obviously my safety with the baby. I sit on the couch, beginning to lace up my dark brown hunting boots.

"No, I'll be fine." I answer with a smile.

I gather Prim, Rhoda and the boys before making my way to the school, with them in toe. The Harvest Festival doesn't start (officially) until twelve but the children (and myself of course) must be at the school early to prepare and practice. I walk fast, realizing I'm running late, and loosen the orange scarf my mother wrapped around my neck before I left. It's cute, but I hate it. I let it be though, knowing it was a silent 'good luck' from my mother.

We walk through the buzzing town that's preparing for the days event. Vendors are setting up their booths of Harvest items, some even food that either doesn't taste good, or that no one can afford. I like going around the booths though, looking at the knitted items and projects of others, looking at the delicate wood carvings this one man makes every year. My favorite part though, I would have to admit, is the dancing (and music). It's the only time of the year that almost everyone in the District wears some type of smile. The dancing is lighthearted and fun, always consisting of picking a partner to only switch off to another partner, usually a stranger, or even dancing in large groups, sometimes in a line and doing weird things with your feet to the beat of the music. I've always loved the music. Normally, a group of older men who play instruments they made out of glass bottles, ruined kitchen utensils, tin cans and lids or even things they have made from wood. The music is always fast and upbeat, always making you clap your hands and shout at odd times in certain parts of the rhythm. They always though, every year, play a 'slow song/beat', designed and named 'the couples dance'. Prim, I, and my mother always stood and watched, including Gale and his family. But I guess this year will be different… for Gale and I?

I make my way into the school, to which Prim takes off running down the hallway, of course Rhoda and the boys follow. Hazel says Rhoda has been doing 'amazingly well'. She doesn't tell me anymore, and I can't say I have asked. I clear my thoughts and make my way into the buzzing, loud and cramped music room to find Mrs. Mildred, perched on a chair, trying to get the children's attention. The oldest children didn't want to participate, so it's only the students from thirteen to five who are filling the room. The scene is pure chaotic and I know that I do _not _have patience for it. The older children are climbing each other or talking to each other in large groups. The younger children are chasing each other all over the room, shouting and yelling. As one of the five year olds, run past me to chase his friend, I can't help but wonder if Gale and I's life is going to be chaotic like this, our little child running around on her or his chubby legs.

The thought makes me cringe.

"Hey!" I shout, loudly, but not loud enough. I get Mrs. Mildred's attention though.

She hops off the chair, making her way quickly to me. I take in her sight, realizing that her, and nearly all the children where Harvest colors. Mixes of browns, blacks, yellows, oranges and whites. I'm silently grateful for my white shirt and orange scarf. Mrs. Mildred smiles at my appearance, most likely silently grateful I didn't come in wearing a bright pink or blue. She see's the bump, but doesn't say anything. She already knows.

After nearly ten minutes, we finally get the children to settle down and begin practicing the two songs. After an hour goes by, the children have practiced well. We go over where we will be singing on the make shift stage in the middle of the square and how to exit it and when we will be performing. They do well, and I grateful for their attention. Finally, from the large windows, we begin to see people pour into the town and square, ready for today's event. I make sure the children know to meet at the stage at one _sharp_ and I find myself silently praying, that all seventy children remember.

I make my way quickly out of the room, out of the school and into the buzzing streets. Music from the men is already playing from the large, makeshift stage they set up in the dead center of the town. A large section is designated off, resulting in the 'dance floor' or where people can stand to watch the men, or others perform. It's an old custom, that people with any musical abilities get on the stage and either sing or play one of the odd instruments. I _use to _sing, with my father every year.

Everywhere else lies booths of vendors and people trading. The vendors seem to be more generous during the Festival, willing to trade a rotting apple for a knitted cloth or two. I quickly find Gale in the mass, growing crowds. Our mothers are behind him, but they quickly go off, doing their own things. So does the kids that were behind me.

"Just you and me, I guess?" Gale says, taking my hand in his as more and more people flood the square. The music picks up too.

"I'm not complaining." I say, standing on my tip toes to reach Gale's lips. He replies matter-of-factly…

"Me either."

We slowly make our rounds to the booths. Looking at the delicate flower arrangements one woman makes with beautiful flowers from her garden. There's not many bright colors in the District, expect in these kinds of flowers. Their bright yellows, pinks, blues and purples feel me with warmth. While I have my back turned examining a rose bud, I know what Gale is doing behind my back. Before I can stop him, he's already traded a coin for a beautiful daisy. He places it in the middle of my braid. Women in the District never gets flowers, my father would though, he would sometimes bring the wild dandelions that grow in the meadow home to my mother. I smile, giving Gale another long, drawn out kiss until the woman behind her booth clearers her throat. We laugh and make our way around more.

We haven't made it even halfway through before I know I must be heading to the stage, preparing the children for their musical number. The whole District is on edge and overly excited for District 12's Community School's music program to be showing off their talents. My name has been spread around the whole District, as I _am _the official music teacher… but I don't like attention and the new looks from strangers.

Half an hour later, the children are all standing correctly on stage. Several of the little five year olds laugh and poke the child next to them. I ignore it as I mount the stage, ignoring the crowd of what must be hundreds gathered and packed into the large, square opening to here District 12's children sing for the first time in nearly two decades. It's a big deal, and been rumored that it's made news to the Capitol, but I doubt it. The Capitol cares less about any District rather than one, two or four. But especially not Panem's laughing stoke, Twelve. I begin to feel overwhelmed as I place the crumbled music sheet on the rusted stand, turning my back to the intimidating crowd. I spot the daisy out of the corner of my eye, that still resides in my braid and rethink of Gale's comforting words before I departed for this….

"_You'll do fine. They'll do fine. If you're anything like your father, you'll blow this whole damn District out of the waters." _

With that, I smile and give the signal with my hands for the children's full attention. They stand straighter and some clear their throats in preparation. I give my head a nod, and they children begin to sing…..

XX

It starts quite, as it's supposed to. Light and distant, climbing with anticipation with the next verse… then higher. Finally, as the last stanza of the chorus, the singing ring's out loud, filling the whole District with their innocent voices-

'_Do you hear the people sing?_

_Singing a song of angry men?It is the music of a people Who will not be slaves again!_

_When the beating of your heart Echoes the beating of the drums_

_There is a life about to start When tomorrow comes!'_

With that, the crowd roars into applause.

I was weary about using this old song my father had taught me. The song was from our ancestors, before Panem. No one in our time knows exactly how it originated, or why. But a lot people believe it may have been some war that invented the song, others believe it may have just been a song? Harmless and innocent, despite the hard packed words. But I was _scared _to use the song as well. People takes the words of 'not be slaves again' as a metaphor for the Hunger Games. I had always thought, that if the Hunger Games do ever end, and were free from their wrath, that should be our new anthem.

It's only wishful thinking?

XX

"That was amazing!", "Oh, that was wonderful!", "Beautiful, dear, beautiful!".

I exit the stage, in search of Gale. I find him but I'm interrupted by several people, a growing crowd. Enveloping me in hugs and kind words. Their nice, and kind but again… I don't like attention… especially when several, most of the people notice the rise on my abdomen. I start to become frustrated when they begin asking questions and questions about the baby, that I can't answer-

"Is it a boy? A girl?", "When's your due date?", "Do you have a name?".

Even though the small crowd around me has nearly depleted, I find myself near a breakdown. Gale steps in, right on time. He wraps an arm around me-

"We don't know yet." He answers the first question. He must have heard all of the questions because he continues. "The baby is due in April. No, we don't have a name."

It's on this moment that I sigh of relief, I haven't quite grasped the idea of people wondering about the baby, other than our families. The crowd, which happened to be all woman, get the hint of my unease. They all smile, almost sympathetically and carry on. I turn around, being faced to face with Gale. He speaks through a grin

"Well, well, well. Mrs. Popular."

XX

The afternoon begins to slowly carry on, and I can admit that I'm _enjoying_ myself more than I have in a long time. The weight and realization of the baby seem to fade for the moment and I enjoy the time with my husband. We keep a careful eye on the time though, have been asked for everyone in the District to gather back up at three sharp. I'm not sure why, but it was Mayor's order.

I feel Gale squeeze my hand as we meet back up with our mothers and the kids. Prim is bubbled with excitement, as well as everyone else. I put my arm around her as we walk, asking her how her birthday is going so far. She replies confidently, with the biggest smile written across her face-

"That best it's been in a long time, Katniss."

We continue weaving in and our of the vendors, looking at the flowers again, the beautiful wood carvings from Mr. Kip, the gorgeous knitted blankets from Ms. Crothers. We stop and get some of Greasy Sae's soup from her booth before continuing on again. I'm looking forward to the dancing that seems to pick up in the evening.

Gale and I have mistakenly managed to loose our mothers and most of the kids. Only Posy is with us (perched on Gale's shoulders) as we look at a booth filled with sewed things… baby things. I honestly can't help the smile that appears as Gale picks up a cute, yellow baby top. Posy lets out a huff from his shoulders when she see's it.

"It's so small though." She speaks, her voice low and her eyebrows ceased. Gale looks up from the little shirt, tilting his head up to look at her.

"It's supposed to be. The baby will be small when she gets here." He answers, smiling. My own smile widens as I watch this sweet moment unfold between Gale and his little sister.

The sweet moment though _quickly _changes sour. I let out a loud, uncontrollable gasp as I feel something… in my stomach. Both of my hands immediately fly to my bump. It's not one of those practice contractions as it doesn't last, it's only a split second. Gale throws the shirt down and quickly swings Posy to the ground, she lands with a loud 'plop' on the floor. He reads my panicked expression and both of his hands rest over my own on the very small bump.

"What is it Katniss!? What's wrong!?" He asks me frantically. Searching my whole body with his eyes, especially my own eyes.

"I… I don't know Gale." I say. I'm in absolutely no pain, and it's almost like it didn't happen. It felt… weird though.

"Wha-" Gale is utterly confused.

"I was standing here." I begin, realizing I'm a bit scared but I have to tell Gale what I felt. "And… I don't know. I felt something… a…tickling feeling where the baby is." I explain, trying to find the words to describe the strange feeling.

The realization of what it most likely was must hit my just a second before Gale. He starts to grin, wider and wider but my face stays flat.

"Katniss…" He starts softly. "It was the baby." His grin grows wider. "She was moving."

That's when I start to cry.

XX

Gale quickly leads me to one of the rusted, metal benches that line the District square. Posy follows, twiddling with the yarn hair on her doll my mother made for her last year. Gale sits me on the bench, crouching down in front of me as I cry loudly. He takes both of my hands into his, being mindful of my healing finger.

"Katniss, talk to me." He says softly. The upbeat, happy music flowing from the middle of the square, and the feeling of Posy's warmth next to me on the bench do nothing to calm me. Why _am _I crying? I ask myself. Gale repeats himself again and I feel Posy's head rest on my shoulder.

"I'm scared, Gale." I let our through a sob. "It's _real_."

That was it. That's why I'm crying. Gale laughs. Not coldly, but sweetly.

"Of course it is, babe." He says through a grin. "It _is _real." His words do nothing to comfort me and I realize my problem is bigger.

"But it's _real._" I repeat. "It's a _baby. _It's a human inside of me." I add, but I realize I'm not done speaking, yet. "It's a _child, _Gale!"

At the word 'child' the Games immediately surface in my head. Anyone in Panem could relate to that (that's not from the Capitol). Gale doesn't need me to explain anymore… I'm an open book to him. Even if I try not to be.

"I know, Catnip." He speaks, rubbing my hands with his thumbs. "But I _promise_, Katniss, I will _never, ever _let the Capitol take our child away from us. _Ever!_"

The hug and kiss that follows stops my crying. I realize in this moment, with Gale's arms tightly around me, Posy's little arms added in, that I understand the _true _meaning of Moving On. It's more than just words, or saying it to yourself, or even someone else. The hard part is actually _doing _it. It's not easy… but who said life was easy? No one. Gale stands, helps me stand and swings Posy on his hip which gets a fit of giggles from her.

"I think it's almost three." He says, remembering the District's order.

"Yeah," I reply, gazing at the sun. "I think so."

We walk hand in hand back to the middle of the square where already, a large, steady amount of people are already loosely gathering. I let my eyes dart around, in search of our mothers and the kids. I find someone that I know, but it's not my mother, or Mrs. Hazel, or Prim-

My heart immediately sinks when I realize who it is…..

* * *

_**Chapter 28 Preview: What will Katniss think of when she see's this person? Will old memories strike her? What will happen when this 'person' asks for a favor beyond Katniss' comfort zone? Will she accept, realizing there's no option? What will she have to say to Madge as she spots her eyeing the 'bump'? What will begin to take place as winter comes and settles in? Leaving the woods cold and dry. What will happen when Katniss feels the baby kick again? Will she cry or learn to smile and enjoy the moment with her child? What will happen when Prim's school visit to the Capitol gets moved up? Will she let Prim go or will she get thrown into the mix? And what will Darius do that could change Katniss forever? Only time will tell... find out Saturday!**_


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N - Hello lovely readers, it is here! NO delays and it is the longest Chapter I have ever written! I take that as a good sign? Hopefully you all won't find it too long? (Tell meh if you do!) This Chapter I had a bit fun with and did almost nothing like my Chapter 28 preview, to which I apologize. When I write those, they are really just a rough draft of what I _think _that next Chapter will be about/hold, but of course... I never know until my fingers get typ'n! Anywho, This Chapter I had a lot of fun writing, it consist of several things and begins to pick up time. It's got some Madge in there for those 'Madge lovers', a tiny bit of fluff for those 'fluffy lovers', a pretty pissed off Katniss to Darius for those 'Darius lovers' AND a pretty important Chapter ending! Not a major cliffhanger though. (Maybe though?!)**

**Okay.. Some of you guys had me cracking up at your Reviews! I LOVE them! They brighten my day! Thank you - Ephesians613, Firework7 (Duh.. of course!), Chey8151, Sarah7821, AbbyDaNinja, finewithnotbeingateennot and MadHatter0542! Wow! Took me a minute to get everyones usernames! THANK YOU for your Reviews, SEVERAL literally brighten my day, especially you MadHatter0542 - I always thought my writing techniques suck, so that means so much to me! (Yes, I love Les Mis and that song, it always reminds me of Mockingjay, and the war) God I could sit here and write long replies you all ALL day! But I won't :(**

**Anywhosie, PLEASE don't get mad at me if you don't like long Chapters, read some of it, and then come back in the week and read more? Chapter 29 will be up SATURDAY OR SUNDAY like usual, most likely Saturday. AND... not this Chapter (that I know of yet) BUT most likely the one after (Chapt. 30) Katniss will have the little tike! YAY! Get excited peeps... I officially got a name now for him or her! Whoot whoot! Well, PLEASE OH PLEASE drop a Review and tell meh what you thought of this LONG Chapter... they sure do brighten my long days! SO much love to EACH and everyone of you! - Macayla**

*** I unoffically call this Chapter- "Tears, Smiles and Kicks."**

**PS - The Chapt. 29 Preview is going to be very basic but boy OH BOY it's going to be packed JAM FULL with all kinds of stuff! Were going to the Capitol! **

* * *

Half an hour I find myself preparing to mount the stage for the second time today, letting Gale rub soothing circles on my back as I wait for Mayor Undersee to call my name from the stage. Thankfully, the baby hasn't moved anymore, giving one less fear as this moment.

The person I saw was no one other than Thom's mother. I'm not entirely sure why my heart 'sunk' but it did. After I had blacked out a month or two ago, both Gale and I agreed we wouldn't visit Thom's family until I felt completely up for the trip. Both physically and mentally. Now though, I had no option as she came to Gale and I. It was her that led me to stand where I am right now. She wanted me to sing an old, common song among remembering the dead. I immediately said no… also immediately regretting it. But, I eventually said yes.

It didn't (and doesn't) come easy though.

I haven't truly sung since my father's death, now six years ago. Only occasional songs to Prim after a nightmare, but even that has been some time… at least a year and only singing softly with the students. But I also haven't sung at the Harvest Festival since my fathers death, or without him. It's painful and brings back far to many painful memories for me to enjoy this moment. I'm not looking forward to it but I feel like I owe this to Thom, to his hurting family. I turn my attention to the Mayor who just begins to speak-

"Citizens of District 12. We have suffered far to much pain and hurt within our small, tight-knit District…"

I listen as the Mayor continues, speaking of the recent Mining accident and of course… the lives that were lost. The families that suffered and are suffering. I take loud, deep breaths as I prepare for what I'm about to do as I sense the Mayor coming to a fast end to his speech.

"Katniss, you can do this." I hear Gale say from behind me. He doesn't stop rubbing my back. "Just take some deep breaths."

I do as Gale instructs, even closing my eyes for good measure. In and Out. In and Out.

"Now, with great pleasure I would like to welcome District 12's Community School music teach, Katniss Hawthorne to sing in the honor of the precious, precious lives lost."

XX

Gale helps me up the few steps up the stage, even though I clearly haven't progressed that far in my pregnancy to need help with such a task. I let him though, not wanting to let go of his hand as I feel myself shaking beneath his grip.

My hands shake even more as I let go of his hand, accepting the metal microphone the Mayor is handing me. Turning from my side to the crowd is another hard task but I do it. _Not _staring at the crowd but instead to Gale. He stands there, next to my mother, Posy already heaved back on his shoulders. Even she wears a matching, grinning smile like Gale. It's at this. The sight of Posy that gives me the small amount of Hope I needed. I open my mouth to sing, it's cracked and pitchy from lack of use but when I do, I begin to feel something… in my stomach again. I realize, the baby is moving, light, feathery moving. Almost in rhythm of the song and tone/notes and my voice. But… I feel as though it's different this time. I'm not consumed with fear. It's as if my little daughter or son is telling me it's okay. That he or she is proud of me.

Just like I'm sure my father is of me.

After I sing and exit the stage, the scene becomes much more lighter after such a heavy moment, picking back up with light felt, dancing music. The very second my voice quit singing the baby quit moving… to my surprise. I tell Gale of this, to which he is overly excited and joyous to hear. Of course once I've finished singing I'm ushered by many polite compliments from strangers again, but the best come from my own family.

The late afternoon quickly turns to evening and my happy, weight lifted, free spirit continues with the day. I find myself dancing with a group of people before I know it, smiling and laughing but being mindful of the baby.

That night, at home, after everyone has gone to bed, I find myself wrapped in Gale's warm embrace. Letting a rare smile pass my lips.

XX

The days slowly turn into weeks and before I know it, the weeks turn into a month, over a month. Every week has brought some kind of new pregnancy experience. The bump is… a bump. There is absolutely no mistaking I am pregnant at twenty six weeks now. _None _of _any _of my clothes fit anymore. I'm narrowed down to wearing Gale's oversized shirts and lounge pants. But the day my mother came over, carrying a box filled halfway with clothes was I completely overjoyed. I was no longer having to dress like a tom-boy as my mother finally found the box of clothes she wore when she was pregnant with both myself and Prim. Their normal clothes… pregnancy jeans, stretchy shirts, a weird black, wide belt like that my mother claims helps with the back pain (that seems to be growing worse and worse as the bump consumes me) and pregnancy dresses. My mother asks me to wear the dresses, stating I never wear dresses and they help with the heat flashes. The day that I came downstairs, wearing a two-toned, grey, knee length dress, my large baby bump protruding proudly out did Gale smile so widely I'm sure I felt some of the pain… but I'm sure that was the baby kicking. My mother also has me going with her on her evening walks. I enjoy them somewhat.

The babies movements are no loner… 'movements' or light flutters and feathery feelings, at twenty six weeks I have turned into a human punching bag for the child. It hasn't been easy, letting go of the strong fear. Finally I broke down a few nights ago during our walk when the baby wouldn't quit kicking.

"Mom, I can't do this!" I let out through my heavy sobs.

"Sweetheart but you can." She answers softly. "You're so strong, Katniss."

"Yes, but not like this!" I snap back, letting my vision become blurry through my tears.

"Yes, you _are_." She answers quickly back. "Just think…" She pauses for a second. "Every time you feel the baby move, what does that mean?" She asks me.

"I… I don't know mom!" I stutter, being utterly lost at an answer.

"It means that the baby is _alive_, Katniss." She says softly again. "It means that you baby is breathing."

"But that's the point mom. It's alive! It's a baby that's going to depend on me!" I snap again, seeing no way how this is helping me. I begin regretting talking to her.

My mother sighs heavily, obviously near the end of her long patience. She closes her eyes, only opening them a few seconds later.

"Try this. Every time you feel the baby move, think of someone, that you know, that you love or admire. Like Gale, Prim." My mother says, I notice she leaves her name out.

At her words or… suggestion, I see absolutely nothing helpful in it. What does she exactly mean? I'm not sure. But I don't see the point in it.

"Just try it Katniss, that's all."

XX

That conversation with my mother the few nights ago got me no where. I do as my mother instructed but see absolutely no point. As I sit here now, at Darius' home, letting the twenty six week old baby kick away, I become irritated… fast.

"Damn it Darius, why the hell did you want me to come over?" I ask frustrated. Although it wasn't Darius who wanted me to come over… it was Gale.

I'm not sure why but Gale has been acting definitely a little different lately… not entirely in a bad way though but I notice he spends more time in the woods and town, even taking Prim with him to the town a lot. I assume it's to give me a break, to get the house quiet for me as I take my newly found afternoon naps, but him and Prim have never been loud when in the home. I also realize Gale can't keep his hands off of my baby bump since it both have grown and the movements. But that's not was has been odd.

"Well, I just wanted to see how you were doing." He answers, smiling as he takes a sip of his beer as he settles in the chair in front of the couch I sit on.

"I'm fine. Can I go home now?" I ask. My comment must be humorous to him unless it's the beer that's getting to him. I throw my braid behind my shoulder as I feel another quick heat flash over take me. My mother is right, the thin, knee-length yellow dress I have on does help with them.

"Whoa there, slow down. Not yet." He answers. I huff in frustration. "So, what's that kid been up to?" He asks.

"What do you think it's doing in there? Playing hockey?" I snap sarcastically. It's late afternoon… I'm hungry, it's time for my nap and the baby won't quit kicking. I'm in no mood for Darius right now.

"No." He answers quietly. I can tell that beer isn't Darius' first. "Hey… I'm trying to make conversation with one of my favorite people." He says, strutting over to me in a 'dancing' way. He's nearly drunk.

"Darius, I'm not in the mood for any of your crap!" I snap again, shifting on the couch to find a more comfortable position with the large bump.

"Okay, okay…" He says, taking a seat at the opposite end of the couch. "So, ask me about my day!" He says cheerfully, grinning.

"How was your day Darius?" I ask, no emotion and completely frustrated. Gale will pay for (making) suggesting I should visit him.

"Oh…" He drags out. "It's better that you're here." He says, winking. I huff again.

"Why do you forget that I'm married?" I ask him, staring at the door and finding myself plotting an escape.

"Oh, right." He says.

"Can I go home now?" I ask again, through gritted teeth.

"No."

XX

"Gale, why did you make me see him like that!? Out of the blue for no reason!?" I ask Gale as we walk from Darius' home to our home. We walk slow and I sense myself near waddling from the bump.

"Just hush and enjoy the walk." Gale answers lightly, slipping his hand into mine.

"Enjoy the walk my ass! I'm tired Gale and you made me put up with a freaking half drunk Darius!" I shout, being mindful of my volume as we pass a family. The woman sends me a sympathetic smile as she sees that I'm pregnant.

"I'm sorry." He answers but I can clearly see he's hiding a laugh.

"Don't you laugh at me, Gale!" I snap, only making him grin. "Gale!"

"Come on, were almost home and I have a surprise for you." He says, trying to mend the damn grin.

"You know I hate surprises!" I snap at him again as we begin to see our house approaching. "God you're going to pay for this, Hawthorne." I add as I feel my back begin to ach from the walk and supporting the bump.

I place my free hand underneath it, in hopes of relieving some of the pressure. It does nothing, but at least I tried. We walk up the porch steps before Gale steps in front of me, making me halt to a stop and my bump hits him.

"Close your eyes." He says before I can protest.

"Wha- Gale I swear-" Before I can finish he huffs in frustration, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small rag like.

He walks behind me and places it over my eyes, turning my vision black mandatory. This time I huff in frustration. I begin to protest again when I feel Gale move to the front of me, taking both of my hands in his. He begins to lead me into the house, I hear the door shut behind myself and Gale slowly guiding me from the kitchen to somewhere else but I can't tell.

"Gale I swear, if this is some kinky sex thing-" Before I finish I hear laughter and I know clearly it isn't Gale's. It's to high pitched.

Our mothers.

I huff yet again (never ending for this day) at the thought of both of our mothers just hearing me say that and obviously finding it funny. I pray that Prim isn't present. From what I can tell I feel as though I'm standing in a doorway, but I'm not sure how. The only room besides upstairs is Prim's bedroom. I feel Gale move directly behind me and drop his hands to my waist.

"I know I'm not the husband that someone as beautiful as you deserves, but I thought this might relieve some of the stress I'm sure was there." Gale says, nearly whispering it in my ear.

Next I feel the blindfold fall and the vision before me is beyond beautiful. Prim's bedroom as been turned into a full blown nursery. The what was wood walls are painted a soft, muted green, matching the color of the woods. I walk in to see more and Gale has literally thought of everything. The small, dark wood crib sits in the corner, sticking out from the wall. I can tell by looking at it and by the uneven wood tones that Gale made this himself (explaining his extra time in the woods and town.), even filling it with warm blankets and a small teddy bear. The thought and beauty sends a smile on my face. I continue looking around the room to find a small table, the same wood as the crib. It has a bottom rack-like or shelf, stacked with cloth diapers, and some clothing. A small patted mat sets on the top, obviously for changing the baby. The small rocking chair has been moved from the bedroom to in here and I take notice at the many blankets that rest on it, most likely for my comfort as I'll be spending a lot of time in it.

Another large, soft blanket lines the floor near the rocking chair, resting a few, falling apart toys on it. The dresser that has always been in this room is still here, stacked with more clothes. All unisex colors. Shades of faded yellow, black, white. But I also take notice to both pink and blue colors too. The small window is wide open, letting the sun, breeze and sounds of birds singing fill the room. I can't help but feel as though I'm in the woods, calming and peaceful. My woods.

"Gale, its beautiful!" I say, realizing the tears in my eyes. The baby that was lightly kicking me stops. Immediately. I turn to Gale who still stands in the doorway, I can see our mothers and Prim behind him. "Thank you but…" I realize something. "What happened to Prim's stuff? Where is she going to sleep?" I ask, wishing I didn't have to ruin the beautiful moment.

Gale smiles, cracking a bit of a laugh and I see Prim move up more, standing beside Gale the best she can in the doorway, he moves over some.

"I'm moving back in with mom, Katniss." She says lightly, knowing I won't like the news.

And she was right. I feel myself becoming almost instantly mad at the thought of Prim moving back in with our mother. Yes, the relationship between the two of us has been better and she hasn't had any recent melt downs but that's beside the point. _I _want Prim here. I realize I'm becoming more angry with Gale than Prim.

"Gale, why the hell did you do that without talking to me about it first?" I ask angrily. I can understand it if Prim wanted to move back over but I'm sure Gale was the one that suggested it so he could do this to the room. I becoming more angry with him faster and faster.

He walks over to me, tucking a piece of hair that got loose from my braid behind my ear.

"Katniss, it was Prim's suggestion. I told her no, but she insisted I do this." He answers. Prim steps forward more as I see our mothers leave the vision of the room, obviously giving us space. Prim nods her head in agreement to Gale's answer.

"You know it would have have to happen, Kat. Where else would the baby sleep?" Prim speaks gently.

Prim is absolutely right. I haven't given is to much thought but she's right. We have no extra bedrooms but our mother does. The only option the baby would have had was-

"Our room, Prim." I answer after a few seconds of hesitation, pointing to Gale and I.

"Yeah, but the two of you need your space too." She replies. "Katniss, really, I don't mind. I want to be closer to mom." She drops her voice before her next words in assurance that she won't hear. "She needs us."

Prim is right yet again. Although yes, our mother hasn't had any recent melt downs and nearly spends ever second of her free time (the time she's not healing the sick/injured) with us, she does indeed need us… Prim at least. I think again of the thought I had just a few months ago when I thought of my mother in that dark house that use to be so alive with a happy family before my fathers death. Now it's a cold, dark place. Deserted by her children. I shake my head at Prim's words, but _I _still don't want Prim to move back.

"I know." I choke out, dropping my gaze to the wood floor. "It's just…" I hesitate. "I want you here, Prim." I look up from the floor to her piercing blue eyes. The vision is cloudy from my own tears.

"I know, Kat. I want to live here too but mom needs me as well. You know I'll come by _every _day!" She says cheerfully, trying to 'up' my mood.

I don't smile though.

XX

"Katniss?"

I look up from the book I'm writing in to the doorway to hear knocking on the doorframe. I sit in the nursery in the rocking chair as I wait for Prim to take her few last belongings from the living room to back to our mothers home. I realize my mother was right after Gale had showed me the new nursery, rocking in the chair slowly helps with the kicking, it helps the baby fall sleep, which helps me relax. But it seems, that every time I'm in here, in this room, the baby goes still… calm. Gale smiled when I told him of this.

"Come in." I saw quietly to see Prim come in slowly.

I close the small journal I was writing in, my mothers suggestion that I keep track of my pregnancy. I hate doing it but it gives me something to do, something to keep my hands busy since I've been narrowed to only being in the woods two or three days a week. I can't fit under the fence any more and it isn't any fun having both Gale and Rory try to help me climb over it. They both laugh. I scowl.

"What's up, little duck?" I ask, setting the pencil down on top of the book in my lap. My sudden movement makes the baby kick violently as I obviously woke it.

"You okay?" Prim asks me as I must make a face or some sign of the doings. She comes over to me.

I clutch the handles of the chair tightly enough to cause my knuckles to turn white. The baby quickly stops though as I begin rocking steadily in the chair. "Kicking?" She asks after I don't answer.

"Yes." I reply quickly.

She takes a seat at my feet, reminding me of the time I was in kindergarten, sitting on the cold ground as our teacher read us all a story. I smile at Prim, so much grown from even last year. She wears a continent smile.

"Does it hurt? When the baby moves?" She asks me. It surprises me somewhat, you think Prim would know. I almost laugh a little.

"Sometimes." I say, shrugging and moving my gaze and hand to rest on my protruding belly. "It's just…It's…" I hesitate, realizing I haven't talked to Prim about how the moving effects me… frightens me.

"You know you can talk to about anything, Katniss." She says, picking up on my hesitation. I sigh heavily.

"It's just… It's scary. The world is so evil, Prim." I answer, being careful not to frighten _her _this time. She doesn't hesitate at all before quickly answering.

"It is. But it's only as evil as you let it." She says, talking calmly and so adult like for being thirteen.

I cease my eyebrows in concentration to Prim's words. I'm not really sure at exactly what she meant by her words and I don't understand. She picks up on this too.

"You'll understand soon." She says. "I didn't until I saw the wounded miners recently."

I cease my eyebrows yet again, noting that that was the day that Prim had a break down at the scene that was going on around her. The Prim that I know, the healing, kind hearted, throwing herself in front of a gun for you, wasn't the same girl I saw that day. I saw a hurting, broken, crying Prim that I only see during a nightmare.

I nod my head at Prim's words, unsure of a correct answer or reply. I wish I didn't have to 'wait' until I understand but sometimes, Prim is smarter than most people think. She has a small gift of words, encouraging, uplifting words that I love to hear from her.

"I love you, little duck." I say, but I add more quickly. "I'm sorry we did this to your room."

Even though the room is beautiful and completely ready for a baby, I know that Prim most likely didn't enjoy seeing her room go from 'hers' to the babies.

"Katniss, it was never mine." She speaks like I'm dumb. "It was always the babies." She adds, pointing to my bump.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"It was never mine." She repeats, shaking her head. "I always knew…" She begins to change her smile into a wide grin. "That _one _day, even if it took years, that you and Gale would have a baby together, and I knew this room would be the child's room."

I start laughing… hard and I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe at the sight of Prim's face set in a wide grin like it is. She begins to laugh with me but as soon as I begin _really _laughing, the baby begins kicking again… violently… repeatedly. I stop laughing instantly, causing Prim to stop as well.

"Kicking?" She asks like it's a no brainier.

I nod my head 'yes' in answer and close my eyes tightly, rocking back and forth… back and forth. It doesn't stop though. My laughing must have woken the child out of his dead sleep and startled it, most likely getting revenge on me. I gasp a little when I feel a hard kick straight to under my ribs. I feel Prim's hands on my bump, making me open my eyes to see her head dropped to it.

"Come on, little one. Stop kicking your mama so hard. I'm sure she doesn't appreciate it." Prim speaks to it, in a tone I rarely hear. A tone you normally uses for injured animals when she's in her 'healing mode'.

"Keep talking." I say to hear through a gasp, realizing at her voice the baby calmed, but only resumed kicking when she stopped. Prim looks up to me quickly but then back to the bump just as fast.

"I'm your Aunt. You haven't met me yet, but I'm excited for us to meet. We can do all kinds of fun things together!" She says cheerfully.

Prim continues talking on like this for several minutes, mentioning and 'discussing' all kinds of things to the baby. How his parents like to hunt, how his grandmother is a healer, how his new nursery or 'bedroom', as Prim put it, looks. I smile when finally the baby calms down enough to only those feathery movements.

"What would I do without you Prim?" I ask, trying to catch my ragged breath. She only smiles but doesn't answer the question when she speaks.

"I remember when Mrs. Anderson was pregnant with Alec, she always hated the kicking too." She says, mentioning Thom's mother. "She made anyone and everyone talked to it when he started to kick and move…" Prim says, keeping her hands on my belly and staring at it with a smile. "I always loved to talk to him, before he was born." She finally turns her gaze to me.

"Are you excited? For the baby?" I ask, not really knowing what else to say but being curious for the answer.

"Are you seriously asking me that, Kat?" She replies, removing her hands and standing. The grin on her face brings one on my own. "I'm _so _excited! Since I could truly understand babies and children, I've _always _wanted to be an Aunt. And a mother! But right now I'll stick with being an Aunt." She says, causing both of us to laugh.

"Good, Gale and I will need a trusted baby sitter when we hunt." I say, winking. It's amazing at how much she can lift my spirit, with just her presence alone.

"You know I'll be more than glad too, Katniss!" She says more brighter and happy as ever. Nearly jumping with excitement. "I can't wait to meet her… or him!" She adds. "How far are you now?" She asks.

"Twenty six weeks… six and half months?" I reply, questioning my guessing at the months. I can't say I've been overly tracking them besides the weeks.

"That's only three more months!" She says brightly again.

"Yes and don't remind me." I say, more then grateful to get the child out of me but knowing that I'll be meeting this child… face to face frightens me as well.

"Don't be nervous!" Prim says, like it's not big deal. "I know it's scary, but it's _your _baby."

Prim is right (for the third time) but I haven't fully told her of exactly 'why' I'm so scared. I feel as though so much weighs on this child's shoulders. The games. Starvation. Poverty. I feel as though the safest (and I know it is) place for my baby is where it is right now, inside of me. Unless something happens to myself, the baby is perfectly safe from the threat of the Capitol and the world outside. I only smile at Prim, not wanting to burden her with this.

"I know, little duck." I say. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

That night, the first night without Prim in the home since awhile, I find myself sitting in the nursery yet again, after Gale has gone to bed. Taking note to the such fine detail Gale was careful to add. The toddler drawing of Gale and I that Posy did, the beautiful sculpture of a tree that Vick made in art class (his hidden talent), the drawing (that's done amazingly) from Rory of the woods, the gorgeous vase of dried flowers that Rhoda rearranged, the two beautiful quilts our mothers had been secretly working on, the touches of Prim's old baby toys that she gave to our child scattered across the room. My child's room is filled with touches of the people that already love him so much.

"You have so many people so excited to meet you." I tell my baby who's only kicking lightly.

"Me included."

XX

The next morning I find myself smiling as I realize I don't have to teach the music today, it's Saturday and a day off for me. I slowly (and very slowly with the baby poking out) get out of bed, noticing Gale left a note on my nightstand. I reach out and read it before getting out of the bed-

'_I've gone hunting for the morning. Please take it easy today, I left you out some clothes for you. You don't have to wear them though. I love you so much, Katniss. I think I fall more in love with you everyday. _

_Always yours,_

_Gale H.'_

I smile as I place the note back on the table, noting the late morning sun coming in through the window. Gale should be back from hunting any minute. He's been leaving me these types of notes for the past several weeks and I love them. I get up, instantly getting a protest from my child-

"'Morning kid." I speak to the baby as I feel a very light kick at my doings.

I change from my nightclothes to my days ones. Pulling on the clothes Gale left out for me on top of the dresser- pregnancy jeans that seem still to tight and a stretchy white, mid-sleeve shirt. I walk over to the corner of my room, where my boots are to find a small note attached.

'_Don't even try, Catnip._

_Gale.'_

I laugh, hard at the note. Since my bump has completely over taken me now, I can not lace my boots up anymore without Gale's help. If I do them myself I find myself in some odd, uncomfortable, laughable position. So I don't bother with them as I pad downstairs, braiding my hair as I take one step at a time. I start to boil some tea on the stove right as the front door opens, a wild turkey slung across Gale's shoulders.

"Back." He says smiling, giving me a long kiss before setting the bird down on the table. "Wanna skin it?" He asks me, knowing how I love to skin large game.

"Sure!" I reply, searching the cabinets for my skinning knife.

I ask Gale how hunting went as he strips his outer hunting gear off and I begin skinning the huge turkey. It's the _only _positive without having Prim here… I don't have to go outside to skin my game anymore. Gale informs me that it went well… but only 'well'.

"Winter's three days away, Katniss." He says disappointingly.

I know what Gale means, enough to make me stop skinning and turn my gaze to his heavy one. Winter is the absolute worst for hunting. Nearly half of the animals are in hibernation, the snow on the ground makes it hard to follow animals tracks that lead to their burros or nests, the heavy snow fall can obstruct our shooting and aiming views of game and the regular heavy snow storms (that always blow in) cease us from hunting for days (even a week or two) all together.

"It will be okay." I say, more for me than Gale. He nods is head, being oddly lost for his own words.

We spend the rest of the late morning taking turns chopping the carcass of the large turkey. We chop it into two segments. One for Hazel and the kids tonight and one for us, having our mother and Prim over to eat tonight. I'm bent over the table, wiping it clean of the blood and guts when there's a knock at the door.

"I'll get it." Gale says from across the table, doing the same thing I am. He sets the rag down, heading toward the door.

"Probably Prim." I say as he passes me.

"She knows she doesn't have to knock." He says, opening the door at the same time. "Oh. Hi, Madge." Gale says.

I turn around and low and behold she's there, standing on her tip toes to look behind Gale. He moves to the side as he obviously wants entrance.

"Katniss!?" She calls for me cheerfully, holding two large yellow bag's in her hand's. "How are you doing?" She asks me as she embraces me in a hug(the best she can with the baby in between us). I scowl over her shoulder to Gale, only making him bite his bottom lip to hold in his laugh.

"I'm good. Fine." I answer, truthfully as I do indeed feel pretty well.

I was nervous two month's ago when Madge spotted my baby bump, but she welcomed the news with open arms… wide open arms.

"That is great, Katniss. I have a surprise for you!" She says cheerfully again, holding up the two yellow bags. I scowl again, not caring if she sees and Gale nearly snorts to hold in his laugh. "Oh come on now!" She says. "It'll be fun.".

She sets the bags on the table and begins taking the contents out. I quickly realize it's all beauty items, what most people here in the Seam could never afford to buy from the shops in town.

"You said yourself…" She begins when she realizes I wear a scowl. "… before you married that dork," She points to Gale over her shoulder who still stands in the kitchen. "That you wish you were more girly!" She looks at me, knowing that I'm caught.

She's right, I did say that at least two years ago during lunch break at school. But to be honest, I was only trying to end the awkward silence that day as I didn't have much to say when she started babbling about hair and makeup.

Five minutes later I find myself sitting in one of the dinning room chairs that have been brought into the small bathroom. Gale waits downstairs in the living room as Madge gives me a 'makeover'. She begins working with my hair first, making sure to get her snotty comments about it across. But I find this part relaxing, I've always loved it when people (Gale, Prim and mostly Posy) play with my hair. She won't let me look in the mirror but I feel a cold sensation on my scalp for a second. I don't ask though, not being in the mood for any 'beauty lecture'. She finishes, for now at least, several minutes later, pulling out a butt load of makeup from her bag. I cringe immediately as I have never worn makeup… ever. The very, _tiny _amount the Hob has I've never been interested in. Most people from here in twelve aren't interested in any kind of makeup, despite the small beauty store in town. But Madge isn't one of those people.

I huff in protest as she begins rubbing something on all the skin on my face. My cheeks, chin, forehead.

"Come on! You can't tell me you're not excited for Gale to see you all…sexy like this." She says, dropping her voice near the end of her sentence.

"I'm pretty sure Gale doesn't care how I look." I answer, being the only reply I could find.

"He's a man, Katniss. I'm pretty sure he does." She says like I'm dumb. "Besides, don't you want him to see how sexy you can be?" She ask me, moving to applying some cold cream to the outside of my closed eye's.

"I… I guess." I answer… truthfully. I do want Gale to have someone who takes pride in their appearance, unlike myself. "Yes, you do." She confirms, moving to the other eye. "You need to show him just how much Katniss Hawthorne can be a _woman_." I scowl at her last words.

Ten minutes later she's finally done with my makeup and I hate the feeling of it. I think I'm done but she goes back to my loose hair. Doing something weird with it with the comb several times before pulling it into a low pony tail. She helps me into a dress, insisting I close my eyes so I can't see it. She slips it over me, around my bump and from just feeling, I know it's long, to the ground and the straps are extremely thin. But the marital isn't made of anything fancy or fine. It's still a sun dress.

She turns me around and tells me to open my eyes. She has me in front of the full length mirror but I nearly choke on my spit, being confused at the girl who's staring back at me. I look _nothing _like myself. My hair is indeed pulled into a loose, low pony tail but it's fluffy. My hair looks nearly curled everywhere else. My side bangs for a change rest nicely against the side of my forehead and little stray pieces of hair stick out on the side of my face, shaping my face. My makeup is a different story. For once my skin tone is completely even and no marks show or freckles. My face literally looks smooth and glowing. Around my eyes is a dark shadow, high lighting my grey eyes and honestly making them pop out and sparkle. My eyelashes even stick out further and are bolder than usual. My lips have a soft, nude color that I actually like. The dress is pretty. It's strap's are thin and the top cuts low to show an overly large amount of cleavage off. It's a muted orange color, hugging my bump but extending in a beautiful wave to my feet on the ground, dragging a little. Madge takes notice to the cleavage and quickly retrieves a small pin from her bag and pinning the top a bit closer together, still showing a fair amount off though.

I look back into the mirror and realize I do look… sexy. The way the makeup is, it displays my features. Making my nose look narrow, my cheeks hallow and my eyes deadly.

"You look so beautiful, Kat." She says and for once… I do.

I finally feel pretty.

Gale's reaction is pretty priceless that afternoon.

XX

"Uh, I thought she'd never leave." I say to Gale as he comes back into the living room. I sit with my feet up on the couch, being thankful the dress flows enough to let me.

He retakes his seat next to me and I lean back into his embrace. Sighing with being content and relaxed.

"So, has Prim talked to you yet?" He asks me through the relaxing silence.

"About?" I question. Opening my eyes."She hasn't." He confirms to himself. I sit up a little, looking into his straight face.

"About what Gale?" I ask him as I see his expression is emotionless.

"The Capitol trip, Katniss." He says, finally meeting my gaze. I lean off of him and sit up beside him.

"No." I reply solemnly and honestly. "I guess since you've been taking her to those meetings, I've been trying to avoid thinking about it." I add, being honest again but knowing I'm wrong.

"Well, we can't keep avoiding it, Katniss-"

"I know." I reply in a whisper, cutting him off from his words.

"Especially not now." He says quietly.

I feel an old to familiar cold chill run through me. What does he mean 'Especially not now'? I know the new year is just a month away but the trip isn't until March or April. I must make some kind of face about Gale's words.

"Katniss…" He takes my hand into his. "The trip's been moved up. Sooner."

I cough involuntary, knowing now that it's been 'moved up' means I need to make a decision about this sooner. I've been indeed trying to avoid thinking about this topic. There is _no _way I want Prim to be sent to the _Capitol. _I don't care if it's a 'field trip' or not. But for the sake of peace and not for a fight, I told Prim I would think about it and allow her to keep attending these meetings… but I wasn't going. Gale of course took Prim's side, accompanying her now instead of me.

"How soon?" I ask, realizing I haven't asked that. His next words make me stop breathing for a second.

"Five days, Katniss."

XX

"This is stupid, Katniss." Gale says to me as we track through Town, heading to the nicer neighborhood where Darius lives.

But we are not making this trip to see Darius, I'm making this trip to visit Principle Maddox, demanding more answers and information about this trip before I chart my sister off to a murder place. Gale keeps saying this to me, that it's 'stupid' to discuss this with her. Gale hasn't told me this yet, but I think he has no problem sending her with the school to there. But he's also the brother of the little boy (Vick) who got expelled from this trip by punching a kid who was bullying him.

"Don't piss me off, Gale." I say to him, knowing my patience is already running thin and I don't want to lose my temper with Principle Maddox. He backs down immediately.

During our walk to her home, I notice I get odd smiles from people I either know or crossed paths with before. I quickly realize it's because the way I look. I'm still all dolled up from Madge's 'surprise'. I scowl and don't return any of the gestures or smiles.

We come up on Principle Maddox's home quickly, only being several houses down from Darius'. Her home, on the outside at least, looks nearly identical to Darius' expect the décor. Principle Maddox has flowers in large vases outside on the porch, making it look cozy. We never see flowers on people's homes in the Seam. I knock a few times and she answers quickly.

It's weird to see her… normal. She doesn't have her hair neatly fixed but instead in a messy pony tail. She doesn't wear her normal 'business' attire but instead a pair of black lounge pants and a blue tank top. Her normally light makeup is gone, leaving her fake completely naked. The thing that strikes me though is the baby on her hip. That I know of, she doesn't have children. She's not even married.

"Hello, Katniss. Gale." She addresses us upon opening the door. "Is there something wrong?" She asks. I hate how 'nice' she has been to me lately.

"I need to talk to you. If you have the time." I say to her, knowing Gale won't say anything at this moment.

"Oh sure! Come in." She replies, opening the door wider. The baby makes a squeaking sound as we enter the home.

As the home on the outside looked just like Darius', so does the inside, again… expect for the décor. The home is filled with light, faded colors and far less messy than Darius'. It's neatly organize and books line every one of the many, many book cases.

"Take a seat." She says while shutting the door, gesturing to the yellow couch in the living room. I do (and so does Gale) with Gale's help, relieving some of the pressure on me back. "How's the pregnancy going?" She asks me, taking a seat on the couch opposite of the room, setting the baby down in the middle.

"Pretty good so far." I say, rubbing my protruding belly and eyeing the baby who is cooing away while chewing the heck out of a stuffed bunny. I let a small smile escape my lips.

"Oh, she's not mine!" She says quickly when she sees me eyeing the baby. "She's my brothers." She smiles when I move my gaze to her. "So what did you need to talk about?" She asks me and I take a deep breath.

"About the trip to the Capitol." I say quietly, I feel Gale put his arm around my lower back.

"Oh… of course, dear. Anything." She replies, sitting up straighter in preparation to my questions and concerns.

I finally let off some steam and tell her exactly why I'm so nervous. About sending my little sister to the place where they murder children her age… for entertainment. She nods her head at every word and doesn't interrupt. Gale even nods his head in agreement with my words a few times.

"I see your concern, Katniss." She responds when I finally finish. "You are _not _the only parent… guardian-" She corrects herself quickly. "… to have this problem. I can ensure you Katniss, and Gale, that Prim will be perfectly safe. We will not be taking the children anywhere around the arenas. We will though however…" I cringe a little at her words. "Be taking them to the District Museum there, which sadly will have some on past Victors from the Districts. But we will not be taking them anywhere else or anything to do with the Games on purpose. Of course, it's hard to ignore anything about the games when you are in the Capitol. I've been there before."

"You've been there?" Gale asks shockingly, taking his gaze off of the baby and to her, in a way cutting her off. She smiles at him.

"Yes. But that was long ago." She replies softly. "It will be hard to avoid it, Katniss, but I'm going to do my very damn best at getting them no where near it. I swear." She looks at me, eyeing me intently to see if this is changing my opinion(s).

I can't say that it necessarily is, but it has helped, tremendously. It's just putting Prim's life, in someone else's hands that worry me. I'll never feel as though Prim is completely safe unless I am with her. I hate putting my trust in other people and I hate it. Especially putting trust in the woman that yelled at my seven year old sister that was crying for me. Principle Maddox picks up on my heavy hesitation for words.

"Katniss, if it makes you feel better, I've been searching for more chaperons for the trip… you are School Staff." She says, smiling wide. "And yes, I'm asking for you to come along with us. You too, Gale. You know… since the mines haven't reopened yet." She says, smiling wider.

After a bit more conversation it's final.

I'm going to the Capitol….

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_**Chapter 29 Preview: What will happen on the trip to the Capitol? And the train ride over? What will Prim think when she hears that her 'over protective' sister and brother in-law will be joining her? How will Katniss take the effects of visiting the Capitol and their crazed people while being pregnant and emotions already high? What will Darius do that shocks both Katniss, Gale and Prim? And what will take place when Mrs. Everdeen starts preparing her daughter for the challenge of delivering her baby? Will Katniss freak, faint or smile through the knowledge of what's about to come? ALL things will be reveled Saturday... and you DON'T want to miss it!**_

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**UPDATE Aug. 25th 2013 -**

**Hello dear readers and friends, GOOD NEWS! I have created my OWN Twitter account! YAY! I've decided to share the info as this WILL NOT have ANYTHING to do with my Fanfiction. It's all about keeping up with what I do in my life personally. This journey of writing Fanfiction and a FanFiction Trilogy that has so many amazing readers (Come on.. you know you're one of them!) has been amazing and I REALLY want to contact with you all personally, on a not-so-creepy, safe level!? I'll be posting all kinds of stuff NOT related to my Fanfiction (But some Hunger Games still.. Duh!). It will be personal things (what I'm up to, where I'm going/trips/vacation, stupid things I do on a daily basis, writing tips and the list could go on). Anyway, feel free to click "Follow" to let me know you read the Tweets! Oh... and I'm new to Twitter, Ya might have to cut me some slack! But head on over... it's going to be FUN!**

**LINK: Twitter CaylaS16 (No spaces, you can find the link itself on both my Profile and Facebook)**


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N - Howdy all! Chapter 29 is HERE with only a day delay. I know I just posted on the Facebook page I would have it up like, really late but I ended up finishing early! Yay! Now, again, This Chapter didn't go quite as planned, not that I don't like it though. I have kind of been in a writers 'funk', not block, but funk this week. I still think the Chapter turned out pretty good but I wish and I know I could have done better. I'm excited to write the next though at where I left this one off... read and find out! ;)**

**I would like to thank Ephesians613, WeInHere, Firework7, Swifty22 and MadHatter0542 for reviewing Chapter 28! They mean SO much to me! I know I replied to alot of you personally, including Firework7 and MadHatter0542. WeInHere- Don't worry, The 'baby' Chapter is COMING and Katniss' emotions are going to run higher than ever and you'll figure out her nervous and unsettling nerves about the baby. I've had a plan from the beginning.. you'll have to wait and see ;). Ephesians613- Thank you so much for you kind review! You reviews (as well as all the others) bring such a smile to my face. But keep working if you don't think your a good writer! Go back to the 1st Chpt. of Finding The Time and than look at this Chapt.. you _always_ start somewhere! **

**Anyways, Again, I like this Chapter it just isn't my favorite? I had a hard time imagining the Capitol some, even though it has been shown through the movie and described in the books... so feel free to let YOUR imagination run wild there for me;). Chapter 30 will REALLY begin to pick some time up, I'm going to wrap the Capitol visit up pretty quickly but still give you all a hefty dose of it and than... BABY! I'm not saying if she's going to have it, I think that will be Chapter 31 as it looks right now, but I mean preparing for the baby big time! Anyway, Chapter 30 will be up like our normal schedule.. SATURDAY OR SUNDAY(Most likely Sunday honestly as I will be at Disney World that friday night late). PLEASE feel free to review this Chapter, tell me what you think as I did not think I did very well:(((((. Reviews mean alot not just to me, but to ANY person who writes, they keep me going... BELIEVE ME, THEY DO! Tell me what you think of the ending? Anywho, It's a long one again (WOOHOO!). Happy reading everyone and much love - Macayla**

**I unofficially call this chapter: "Shaking Hands".**

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I'm startled awake in the middle of the night by the same nightmare I have been having for the past three nights since our visit with Principle Maddox.

Prim. Being tortured in the Capitol while I'm forced to watch. But it's odd. My baby is in it, being indeed just a newborn baby. It's the same in every nightmare. I lie there, with my legs spread open wide, sweat and tears on my face with Prim being drowned in the background, the vision of my baby being stabbed over and over by brightly colored Capitol people.

I begin to cry but I do my best to quiet my sobs in hopes of not waking the slumbering Gale next to me. He doesn't move, so I assume it's working. However, the baby does move… reminding me of the vision of him being stabbed, blood gushing from his little chest. I rub my hand over my belly, not thinking of the vision that best I can while I wipe the tears on my face with my other hand. The rubbing does nothing to sooth the kicking and I'm near a mental breakdown. I sit up (however I'm already are, since the bump has got in the way of my comfort), slowly easing the blanket off of me and swinging my legs on the ground. I hold the bottom of my large belly as I begin to pad to the stairs, but before my free hand touches the rail-

"Katniss?" I hear Gale's groggy voice. "What's wrong? What do you need?" He asks me, squinting through the dimly lit room.

"I'm fine." I lie. "Just getting some water." I lie yet again. My destination wasn't… isn't the kitchen. It's the Nursery.

"Lie back down, I'll bring it to you." He replies, getting up himself.

I instantly huff in protest, louder then I intended to it be. He stops just before he's before me, eyebrows ceased.

"Did you want to do it yourself?" He asks me, a bit coldly and harsh for doing nothing to him.

"No." I reply sheepishly, barley even a whisper. I hang my head low and the sight before Gale of me must look pathetic.

I obey what he says though when he doesn't reply to me, determined to not let me go downstairs, wanting me to continue resting. The baby still kicks violently. Right before Gale starts down the stairs, and I'm halfway to the bed, he says-

"I know something's bothering you. We'll talk when I get back."

And with that he's down the stairs. I'm yet again an open book to Gale, which isn't completely a 'downer' but it is in this case… to me. It's not that I don't want to tell Gale of this nightmare, of this newfound fear of bringing not just my sister to the Capitol but our child, I honestly do but I don't want to ruin this small excitement he has for this trip. Gale hasn't stopped talking about it since it was official that we were going a few days ago. He's literally excited for it and I don't really know why? Sometimes I think maybe he was meant to live in the Capitol, among those people but than I don't. Gale hates and disagrees with the games just as much as I do. But that's what shocks me, that he's so excited to visit there?

Gale comes back up quickly as I just began to get the most comfortable I can. The bump has finally consumed me to my near breaking point. I can't sleep without every damn pillow in the house behind my back, forcing me in more of an upright position than a laying down one. Gale hands me the small glass of water, giving me a sleeping pill which I almost don't accept. I take it though, forcing myself to drink the water as I really wasn't thirsty.

"Talk, Katniss." He takes me, taking a seat next to me on the bed, not his sleeping side though. He eyes my protruding belly.

"There's nothing to talk about." I say, still in hopes of not crushing his excitement.

"You're lying and I know it. About the water too." He speaks, taking the glass from my hand even though I wasn't offering back to him. "Please, Katniss. I hate when you bubble your emotions inside of you like this and not talk to me." He says, surprisingly calm for the look of anger written across his face.

I feel myself tense up, unsure of what to do at this moment. Do I tell Gale about this fear and the nightmare, in hopes it won't change his happy spirit about the trip? Or do I hold it in, for the sake of peace (for him)?

"Gale…" I begin, not knowing my next words as I reach out, rubbing his arm lightly. "I just want to go back to sleep." I pause for a second. "Please."

I fall back sleep that night, listening to the screams of Prim and the painful wails of my child.

XX

"Don't forget to pack everything you'll need." Gale tells me the next morning, as we begin packing for the trip.

Prim was overly excited the other day when we told her Gale and I would be coming, she said she told her friends that we are coming, they responded 'Cool'. I dread this very moment (thankfully Mrs. Mildred is teaching the students for me for the week, keeping me somewhat sane), packing in my mothers old, rusted, light blue suitcase she used to move her few belongs when she married my father. She only packed her clothes in this as she took the move from the Town to the Seam nearly eighteen years ago. The sound of clanking pots downstairs remind me she's here, making breakfast for Gale and I as we pack. Gale's using his father's old suitcase, a large, black, rusted thing… twice the size of mine. I end up squeezing several outfits of my pregnancy clothes in there, throwing a few extra things into Gale's since he has room left. I'm attempting at closing the old, completely rusted snaps on my mothers suitcase when Gale speaks again, being revelatory quiet this morning-

"Katniss?" He says.

"Hmm?" I reply simply, almost sing-song.

He walks around the bed to where I stand and I realize my hands are shaking, badly. He takes them into his own, my gaze falling heavy on his.

"You're scared." Gale says, more of a sentence than asking me. I pull my hands back immediately, nearly hitting my bump with the rapid speed.

"I am not!" I snap back sarcastically, but I'm yet again lying. Yes, I'm scared of taking the three people I love the most, my husband my sister and yes, my baby to the Capitol.

"That's what you wouldn't tell me last night." He speaks, ignoring my comment. "Katniss, I thought we had a better relationship than this. You _know _you can talk to me, Katniss. About _anything_!" Hurt and pain clearly show in his tone and to be honest to myself, I don't blame him.

"I wasn't keeping this from you, Gale-"

"Yes you were… are!" He shouts, cutting me off. I feel guilt and I hate it.

"For your own good." I reply simply, avoiding eye contact.

"For my own good, Katniss? Really?" He questions, speaking so coldly. "How, Katniss? How?"

I finally stop staring at the floor and allow my eyes to travel upward, staring into Gale's eyes. They reflect so much pain and hurt, so much that I'm not sure if I've ever seen this on Gale like it is right now. I step forward a bit, sideways in a way so the bump doesn't get in the way, and place my hands on his chest.

"Gale, my whole goal in this is to keep you happy. I love you, and I don't want to see you hurting from my own pain." I say, nearly falling with shock and my _own _words that I didn't even know existed.

"But that's the point of marriage, Katniss. Were here for each other, no matter how painful or hurting it is for the other. I'm _always _here for you." He speaks, leaning down and giving me a light kiss.

The what was still baby gives me the tiniest of kicks, noting that he's awake now at my new founded, somewhat peace about the situation and knowing Gale isn't holding this against me. Gale felt the kick though, my bump being pressed against his body some. The kick makes him draw back from the kiss, far to soon for my liking but his grin makes up for it. He bends down, getting his face even with it.

"I'm always here for you too, little one."

XX

I rub my shaking hand across the backside of the gold, metal hand mirror my father gave to me, on my fifth birthday. It resides on my dresser, like always. I pick it up, allowing the vision of my face to come into view. I do this only every so often, being that this mirror holds so many painful memories of my father. The vision has changed over the years, changed drastically. What use to be the little, small, frail girl, taking a peek at herself dressed as a princess, her father smiling in the background, changed to bit of an older girl, making stupid, silly faces into it with her father, never wishing for anyone to see her do it, than changed into a broken, hurting, crying, lost young girl, missing the sight of those silly faces but most of all, missing the sight of her father, but than changed into a very young woman, with hopes. Hopes for a better tomorrow, a better life for the remaining of her family. But certainly one of the most shocking visions I've ever seen through this mirror is the one now. The vision of an older, younger woman, face filled out more from the effects of pregnancy, small, barley noticeable bags under her eyes from lack of sleep. I'm not sure why I decided to spend this quiet, peaceful moment I currently have before we depart for the Capitol in just an hour, to spend it wishing my father was here, reflecting on his memories that this mirror holds for me. Maybe it's the reason that my father always had a way about him, being able to calm my fears when I was younger. To the time I scraped my knee while riding the old rusted bike he brought home, to the time I shot my first bow, piercing my finger all the way through with the head of the arrow. I miss those soothing, calming voice he would use-

"It's okay, darling. A scrape never hurts a beautiful soul."

I find myself holding in tears as I move from the dresser, the mirror in hand as I seek out my suitcase, easing the mirror into it, snapping the snaps back into place quietly. The only wish I wish I could have right now would be for my father to say everything is going to be okay, this Capitol trip will be nothing. But he isn't here, he isn't saying this to me.

I shake my head of my oh so heavy thoughts and proceed with changing into my pajamas and into my clothes that I'll be traveling in all day. I decide on, of course, my most comfortable pregnancy jeans and a white tank top, throwing a dark blue jacket over it. I'm unable to fasten all the buttons and I settle with just fastening the one right above my belly. The baby gives me a quick kick in either protest or liking. But this is the child's most peaceful part of the day, in the early, barley lit morning. Therefore, it's my favorite part of the day. If only I didn't have this fear I could enjoy it right now, the beautiful, almost cold breeze blowing my hair through the opened window. I'm braiding it though when Gale comes up the stairs-

"Are you almost ready?" He asks me, stepping behind me and wrapping his arms around my still growing waist.

"Yes, I need help with my boots though." I respond, tying my braid off with the rubber band I always use.

Several minutes later my dark brown, leather boots are on me, both with help from Gale and Prim this time. My mother has joined us, insisting she sees us off as we depart. We grab out suitcases (Prim declared she had to pack two) and we start the walk to the Train Station. It gets rare use, only either one when the Capitol sends shipments of whatever they feel like being generous to us or two, when of course, they have a new shipment of children to be slaughtered, aka, Tributes. My breathing picks up heavily enough to where I stop and I'm forced to lean against Gale for support. Gale of course starts to panic just a little but I'm forced to calm him too.

"I'm fine, Gale. Just winded, that's all." It's true… even though it's not all of the truth.

A minute later we continue our walk, coming quickly up on the Station. It's an old, wooden building with of course, the main train track in the back. The inside is close though, although it didn't always use to be. Before the Dark Days, when traveling was permitted without permission (like now), there use to be a man or woman, standing behind a desk in there, giving the people their tickets and times for their trains and when they depart. At least… That's what they taught us in school. Now though the two wooden doors are plastered with 'Do Not Enter' signs and 'Trespassing Is Punishable By Death.'. Although people don't listen, I'm almost certain a few homeless people most likely live in there. We walk around to the back, like everyone else where a large over hang hangs from the building but stops before it reaches the track. We are not the only people here, nearly all of the two dozen or so children have already gathered. Saying their quiet goodbyes to their parents and grandparents. A middle aged father with his young son give up their bench for me. I smile politely as I take a seat, thankful that they were willing to do so. The man smiles back, noticing Prim who takes the seat beside me-

"Is she your daughter?" He asks me but someone nearly cuts him off-

"Ewe! Dad, she's my music teacher!" The little boy pipes up, making a scowling face.

A vision of him strikes me, the day he gave up his seat in Music class for a girl who had a broken leg. He couldn't be more like his father, in looks too. His light brown hair matches his fathers identical and his bright blue eyes too. Clearly Merchant people. I hear Gale laugh from the boys comment.

"I'm her mother." My mother speaks, stepping out from behind Gale. I had almost forgotten she was there.

"The healer." The father speaks, extending a hand to my mother. "Dawson." He introduces himself.

My mother introduces herself, despite that he already knows, shaking his hand politely.

"Looks like Homer's going to be our new brother." Prim leans in and whispers to me. I assume that's the boys name and it would make sense that Prim knows, looking to be in the same year. I can't help the laugh that escapes me.

"What?" My mother says, both her and the man eyeing us intently. I see Gale step off a few paces, no doubt laughing.

"Nothing." Prim and I say in complete unison. Now I can hear Gale's laugh, despite the several feet distance. The boy mummers something that only makes Gale laugh more-

"Girl's are weird."

XX

We Wait. Prim on one side of me(with Homer on her other) and Gale on my other. We sit on the bench, waiting for the delayed train to come. The station is alive with people, including my mother and Dawson off to the side, still talking. I try to refrain from thinking like Prim right now and focus on the surprisingly still baby this morning and the smell of burning wood. After a few minutes pass we realize the train is nearly an hour late. Right as Gale goes to try to find out information, Principle Maddox walks over to us, frenzy and panic written across her face.

"It's Airgusta. They did this last time." She speaks, frantically tapping on something she holds.

"What?"

"What do you mean?" Both Gale and I speak at the same time. She looks up from the device finally and at us.

"Airgusta." She says like were dumb. "A group of school kids from seven visited the Capitol last month and they did this same thing." She answers, going pack to frantically tapping away at the strange, bright green device. It makes odd beeping sounds.

"What 'thing'?" Gale questions, stealing it from my own mouth. She looks up again, huffing.

"Putting threats under the train station in the Capitol." She answers.

Instantly I feel myself tense up, being that I feel like my fear is coming true. She comes to my rescue, somewhat-

"Don't worry, Katniss. They did this to the children in seven and they were perfectly safe. We just of course, have to put safety first. But please, Katniss, trust me this one time." She speaks winded.

Even though I don't, and have never cared or liked Principle Maddox, I seem to find just an ounce of assurance from her. But do I trust her? No, I will never trust her.

The very next second, after her words, the ground begins to shake… just slightly and the sound of a loud but distant roar/whistle rings through the air.

"Katniss, it will be okay." I hear Gale whisper to me. I was unaware that I was clutching his hand so tightly.

"About damn time!" Principle Maddox shouts in anger, staggering off to where the train will soon be, standing over it to get a better look at the approaching train.

Children begin to pick up their bags and suitcases, parents folding their children into long, over drawn out hugs and kisses on the cheeks. Gale begins to pick up our bags and so does Prim and Homer. The kid seems to be sticking around with us but I don't mind, he seems to know Prim pretty well.

"Come on! Come on!" Principle Maddox shouts just as the train is beginning to come into the station. It's surprisingly quiet for just being loud not even a minute ago. It comes in, slow and steady. It's grey, metal surface acts as a mirror. It's pointed down at the front, like a sideways cone and has a large, completely blacked out window to which I assume the conductor looks out. It has windows lining every cart that is attached. It's looks exactly like the train they collect the Tributes on but not quit.

"Line up!" Principle Maddox shouts, all of the children begin to but the people like Gale and I don't.

I begin to look at the line of the two dozen or so children. Prim told me they added a few new people to the trip since the last meeting I was at. And they have indeed. Most of the children are still all around Prim's age but I take note to two little children, maybe around six or seven and a few older kids, around my age. I look into their faces, trying to see if I know them. All the children before me look familiar of course, but only none of them sticks out besides Prim and Homer. I can't see a few others though.

"You guys too!" Principle Maddox shouts at us, indicating to Gale and I and the few other teachers that are coming along.

"Enjoy this, Katniss." My mother speaks quickly. "You need to spend this time with Gale before the baby comes and the mines reopen next month." She wraps her arms around me, the best she can. "I love you, baby girl. Take care of your sister…"

I almost feel myself scowling at her last words. Who was the one that's been taking care of her for the past five, six years? It was me, not her.

"… like you always do." She adds quickly, no doubt realizing my hesitation with both returning the hug and words.

I return the hug but no words.

We pull away from our embrace and Gale shares one with my mother, meanwhile Dawson has asked me to look after his son.

"… He…" The man hesitates for a second. "… he's a little nervous about this whole thing. But he'd not admit it to anyone but me. Just keep an eye out on him, if you would please." He speaks, winking.

"Of course." I speak, honestly.

A few minutes later Gale and I find ourselves at the back of the line with the other children. A brightly colored Capitol man stands at the train entrance, assisting the children with the small stairs. Gale has our suitcases in each of his hands and I begin to feel the baby waking more. I can admit that I'm a little nervous, with traveling and being twenty eight weeks pregnant and just entering my third and final trimester, but my mother said I would be fine. My pregnancy is healthy and I shouldn't have him prematurely. My only new symptom is my weird and strange urge to move or kick my legs when I sleep or relax…? The baby begins to kick fast and hard as I think all this.

"Ladies first."

I snap out of my temporary haze to find a boy about my age standing in front of me, letting me board the train before him. I know immediately who this boy is. The way his messy blond hair falls around his forehead and the bright, piercing blue eyes staring back at me.

Peeta Mellark.

In a split second the image of him throwing the bread to me, the sight of him the next morning on the playground, the bit of hope this boy delivered to me. He most likely doesn't remember it I'm sure, he probably doesn't even know who I am, besides the Music Teacher and the girl he occasionally runs in to. I watch now has he eyes my large bump intently, smiling just slightly.

"T… thank you." I only stutter for a second as I reach my hand out to the small rail. It takes both Gale and this bright, colored Capitol man to help me up the stairs, but I get up them pretty fast.

The sight before me isn't what I quite expected as I move to board the train more. I'm now sure what I expected though. Maybe something just a little more lavish for the Capitol. The train however, is lavish, compared to most things here in twelve. I move out of the entrance cabin and into the second one where rows of brightly colored red seats line the _extremely _long cabin. It has three rows, two on each side by the windows and one in the middle of the cabin. Each row has three chairs contacted to each other. The cabin is already buzzing and nearly halfway full with excited children. All talking and trading seats with each other loudly. I frantically search for Prim and find her sitting with Homer and another dark haired girl by the window, a wide smile written across her face. When she see's us, she waves Gale and I over.

"Come sit with us!" She says giddy. It's been a long time since I've seen Prim this excited.

Gale and I do as she says, taking the row in front of her and her friends. Their laughing and giggling soon ignore me as we wait for the train to depart and the remaining few stragglers to board.

"How long will it be to the Capit-" Just as I'm asking Gale how much time it will take to arrive in the Capitol, a charm sound echoes and a cracking sound appears.

"Good morning, passengers…" The voice comes from the tall roof. "Our next stop is District 10. That should take around three hours. Than we will be off to the Capitol. Thank you." And the charm sound comes on once more.

"District 10?" I look to Gale, knowing this wasn't anything that Principle Maddox told us.

"It will be okay. Probably just dropping off a shipment of something." He says, resting his head on my shoulder and yawning.

"Yeah." Is on the only words I can find, I believe Gale is right though.

Only a minute later the train engines begin to fire up, just as Principle Maddox takes the seat closest to us in the middle aisle, and just as we hear that, we begin to move. Very slowly at first. I watch through my window I am by as the train station begins to leave my view. The sight of parents waving to their children. I spot my own mother, still standing with Homer's father as she wears a large smile, waving to us proudly.

After that, we pick some speed as District 12 begins to whiz by us now. I can spot the Hob in the old, abandoned warehouse, the Justice Building and finally, the Mines that have large cranes and construction crew working to reopen them. I begin to feel as though I'm trapped. Being escorted to the games, my baby kicking away inside of me. The sound of Prim's laughter behind me soon sounds like screams, drowning, watery screams that appear in my nightmares. I try to refrain from thinking and listening to it but I can't. It's like a video, being replayed over and over again in my head. The volume turned all the way up. As we exit District 12, passing the large opening in the fence and I nearly scream myself, matching Prim's. I shove the sleeping Gale off of my shoulders.

"Gale I can't do this! I don't want to go!" I say, tears beginning to pool down my cheeks.

For the first time in a while I see Gale out of words, he knows what I'm talking about, for the most part. Maybe by the straight look on his face he's just as scared as I am? I'm not sure but he folds me into his arms, letting me sob into his shirt as he rubs my back.

Soon darkness plunges me. I'm not sure if I'm sleep or dead.

But I don't care.

XX

"Hey, wake up."

I hear through my darkness. Maybe I'm not dead? Maybe I am though? The violent kick I finally feel in my stomach is what does me in. My eyes fly open, dark green material obstructing my view. My head is still buried into Gale's shirt and I feel both of his arms still wrapped around me, his hands resting on my bump. I'm not sure how long I've been out, but by the surprisingly quiet cabin full of children, I'm sure a few hours.

"Hey." Gale says to me as I lift my head up, allowing his lips to touch mine gently. "Nice nap?" He asks calmly, tip toeing around to see if I'm still upset. I am.

"I guess." I choke out, my voice heavy with sleep.

"We'll be in ten in a few minutes, I thought you would want to see." He speaks, lowing his lips to mine in a quick kiss.

Gale thought wrong. I don't want to see how much of a low life the other Districts share with us in twelve. I sit up though, forcing myself to look sane as I see one of the youngest children eyeing me from the row beside us. I turn to the window a little bit, causing Gale to withdraw one of his hands from my belly, the other one stays tightly on it though.

"She's been asleep. Since you fell asleep and all." Gale says to me as I watch the view of large fields with people working on the knees in. District 11. Agriculture. I'm not sure how to respond, so Gale picks up on the silence. "I think she likes it, when your calm. She was kicking hard, before you fell asleep, or right as you did."

I nod my head to let Gale know I heard him, although I'm lost with any type of answer or comment. 'Cool' would sound like I don't care. But do I care? Yes. The answer comes overly easily to me and I begin to think that I may have already developed the best motherly instincts that I can conquer up. I do honestly care about my child, more than I knew myself. I only have three months to go and that scares me.

I don't turn my body but I turn my head to Gale, resting my hand on top of his that rest nicely on my round belly and I send a warm, welcoming, continent smile at Gale and of course, he returns it, kissing my forehead. I start to nervously shake as I turn my attention back to the window, letting the soft, light movements of my child actually (and to my utter, complete surprise) calm me of sorts. But I feel myself slip when I see little children, no older than five or six, being yelled out for watching our train pass through and not working on the crops in front of them. Gale picks up on this and begins talking about our baby. It calms me.

It works for now.

XX

"I told you I was right."

I hear from the millionth and one time from Gale beside me. I rest my head back on the seat, arms crossed above my belly and eyes closed.

"I told you I was right. Just admit it." He says softly, a grin evident in his voice, even with my eyes closed tightly.

"Gale I swear-" I say through gritted teeth.

When we arrived in District 10, half an hour ago Gale was right. It was to drop off a shipment of boxes, although I'm not sure what was in them. But either way, Gale was right when he told me not to worry about it. Me, being my stubborn self didn't listen and continued to be frightened. But now… he's not letting me live this down that for once I was wrong and he was right.

"I'm just making a point." He jokes, no doubt bugging the adult teachers sitting in the row in front of us with his constant nagging about the topic.

A few hours of pure silence go by and after a short lunch from the train (of roasted nuts and grains), I begin to feel myself slip with sleep, both from the rocking of the train and the complete, soft hush that has over come the cabin. I'm almost there when-

"I told you I was right." Is spoken _loud _in my ear from Gale, scaring me badly and causing me to jump.

"Damn it, Gale!" I shout, shooting up in a more sitting position. The pure look of success and the sound of his 'cracking-up' laughter makes me furious. "You scared the shit out me!" I shout again, loud enough that I hear both Prim and her friends laughter from behind us and the stern look from Principle Maddox a few rows over.

My remark only makes Gale laugh harder, leaning over on the empty chair next to him and letting every ounce of laughter out. Minutes go by and I wonder if he's ever going to stop laughing. I would nearly find myself laughing, finding it amusing that he has managed to make nearly all the children in the cabin begin laughing, at him, if it wasn't for the announcement that comes from the speaker in the roof-

"Welcome to the Capitol."

XX

The mans voice from the roof causes us all to hush. After his words, all the children scramble to their windows, even getting up from their seats to look out the windows of the empty rows. I find myself swallowing hard and loudly as I slowly begin to turn my gaze to the window. Nervous enough that the baby begins to kick, violently at my unsettling nerves. Maybe I expected to see decapitated children, blood, President Snow tying a noose around a child's head out my window. But I find none. Instead a large water basin or lake like below the tracks. The large city and mountains in the distance where the track curves to follow.

I feel as though I'm in another life, where I've been reaped. I'm not married to Gale. I'm not pregnant. Prim is only eleven and its her first reaping. Things don't go right… and I end up in the games. But it's not real.

Not real.

The city is overly large as I turn my attention back to it, trying to focus off of the negative, although everything in Panem is negative. The buildings are large though, stretching far into the sky. They remind of the tall oak and pine trees that grow in the woods back home. But these aren't my woods and this isn't home. Tall mountains are set in the very far background of the city, missing the usual green color our mountains are home produce. Instead the mountains are dark browns and almost white and grey are certain parts. The city grows bigger and bigger as we approach more, but suddenly the windows go black, causing the cabin to go dark. Not complete, but a little. Everyone looks around… confused.

"Just the tunnel to get to the station." Principle Maddox informs loudly so we can all here.

Not a minute later the what was black windows turn to solid white, only for a few seconds before it turns into a roaring crowd of people, being hustled and bustled with their daily activities and waiting for their trains.

These aren't the people that I know. These are those freakishly dressed Capitol people, only stopping and looking for a second to see our train roll in. Their not like the Capitol Crowds they show on the television during the games, these people care less about us right now. Were not here to entertain them.

And that though relieves me some.

Some wear tight scowls, others rolls their eyes, do doubt a bit upset that the low-life District 12 children are coming to the high-class and mannered Capitol.

Our train whistles loudly as it begins to slow on the rails, coming to a quick stop. Some of the Capitol people hang around, to see us when we get off but most just carry own, mouthing to the people next to them. After the voice tells us from the roof that it's safe to depart the train, we all stand and begin gathering our bags. Several and most of the children are giddy with excitement, including both Prim and Homer but a few of them, including the two or three youngest ones wear straight faces, ignoring the soothing voices of the teachers helping. I feel guiltily as Gale, Prim, Homer and I make our way down the aisle, passing a little six or seven year old girl near the brink of crying.

"I miss my mommy." I hear the girl say as we pass. Gale keeps a steady hand on my back, forcing me to walk forward.

We depart the train, the grey and white, tall train station making me slightly dizzy with the tall roofs and the busy crowds of brightly colored people, talking in their high accents that make me sick. Once all the children have exited the train, Principle Maddox, with a few Capitol Peacekeeper's, lead us to a building that is attached to the station. Gale and I follow behind Prim and Homer toward the back of the group. The large, glass doors that we come up on lead us to a large lobby like that is air conditioned, something I've never had back home. The ceiling must be ten stories high and hallways line the walls. In the middle of this 'lobby' is several different seating areas, accompanied by soft looking couches and chairs. A large fireplace is in one corner, a warm fire lit inside. The place amazes me with the large, glass and crystal chandeliers hanging from the tall ceilings. So unlike home. We are all shoveled into this area searing area by several Peacekeeper's. We wait. And wait. And wait. Meanwhile my shaking resumes and I find myself wondering just how fast my heart is truly beating at this moment. The baby begins kicking violently again, sensing my unease.

Those brightly colored people come in and out of this place, scowling as we sit on their nice, velvet couches in our dirty, coal infested clothes. I begin to realize this is a hotel, the way they carry their luggage just like us.

A few minutes later Principle Maddox returns, giving the rooming assignments. All the rooms are on the second floor, Gale and I to ourselves. Once were in the rooms, I notice how small, simple and not… Capitol looking they are. The small bathroom, small closet and large bed reminds me nothing of the Capitol. The colors are still bright but not eye popping. The dark blues and wood colors remind me far to much of home and not reflecting this evil place. Gale informs me this is old for the Capitol, being that they haven't updated it in some time. But I don't ask how he knows that.

Gale sets are bags down on the large, odd shaped chair in the corner of the room as I survey are surroundings. The woodsy colors and vibe comfort me to a level I didn't think I would be able to find being here, but I still find myself shaking and not hearing Gale-

"Katniss?" He shouts, trying to get my fazed attention.

"Hmm?" I reply quietly, looking around the room still.

"Don't be nervous." He tells me soft, wrapping his arms around me the best he can, burying his head in my neck. "It's only three days, Katniss." He adds.

I repeat those words to myself.

Only three days.

XX

Some things in life amaze me.

Like time.

At certain events in life it can seem to drag on so slowly, amidst when you find yourself in some kind of life trial or dangerous, life altering event. But other times it can seem to fly, like the witness of a child growing older and older, like Prim did before my eyes, or when your excited about something and than is passes so quickly. Maybe I expected this Capitol visit to be one of the two, but I find it not… although I'm not sure how that is possible.

I slept surprisingly well that night, minus my back ache from the baby and a new, non-use-to-it soft bed. The baby barley kicked though, liking the new bed.

We wake early the next morning, ushered to eat a small breakfast of toast and jam from the hotel cafeteria. I'm not sure what I anticipated being fed on this trip, maybe something a little bit more filling? We are in the Capitol, but they don't be generous like I thought they might be. But were from District 12, we _don't _complain. I keep a careful eye on Prim, who sits with her friends, while we eat this small breakfast in the small cafeteria in the hotel. The nice peaceful, woodsy, claming colors have been completely erased here, no doubt reminding us all we are in the Capitol. The odd and colored tables and chairs, the bright wall window looking over the city, the brightly colored people serving us and the few other guests.

Gale and I sit at the end of one table, sitting closely to another couple, no doubt Capitol people by the way the woman's brightly colored, green wig sticks up and the mans bright orange mustache. She looks to me, eyeing the raise on my abdomen, then back to the man in front of her, talking quietly in her annoying Capitol accent-

"I don't know why people so low as them would want to have children!" I hear her whisper, I'm confused at that she knows I can hear or if she really thinks I can't. "I would be mortified living in that scum bag twelve and having to raise a child there."

The man laughs, shaking his head in agreement.

"Don't people in the Districts know about birth control?" I hear her joke but somehow be serious at the same time.

I find myself mentally scratching my chin and looking to Gale, he seems oblivious to the conversation, laughing as he watches Homer stuff his toast into his mouth, and I ask myself why would someone, from the Capitol, be so upset about us having children? It's _our _children that give them _their _entertainment? Maybe she's one of the few that doesn't care for the games. I nearly laugh at my own words and I feel instantly dumb. It's because, us, our children, don't grow up with food and high end clothing at our fingertips. I shake my head but zone back into their conversation as I hear the man laugh again and the woman continue-

"I would be mortified!" Her accent getting even higher. "She should be so ashamed with herself! Letting her own blustering sexual needs cause so much hurt to come for that poor, poor child in her!"

With that I instantly push my chair out from underneath me, hearing gasps from the children and others. I'm close enough that I don't have to move much to be within inches of her. I only turn her way, letting the tears fall before I can stop them.

What I do next is out of my control. . . . .

* * *

_**Chapter 30 Preview: What will Katniss say and/or do to this Capitol woman? Will she regret snapping or will the womans words sting far too much? How will the rest of the Capitol visit go, when something unexpected arises, will Katniss remain calm or be forced into yet more hardship, straining emotion? How will Mrs. Everdeen deal with the emotionally distressed Katniss as she returns from the Capitol and trying to prepare her daughter for the challenge of delivering her baby? How will Katniss feel as Gale returns to the Mines and she begins to feel distant from her Husband? Katniss is a master of unexpected occurences, but what will happen when Katniss figures out that 'soon' can sometimes be sooner than planned? Nothing goes quite as planned for the Hawthornes and Everdeens, Find it all out Sunday!**_

_**UPDATE 9-8-13 - Chapter 30 will NOT be up today, Sunday but INSTEAD either this TUESDAY OR WEDNESDAY! Sorry for the delay!**_

_**REMINDER: My Chapter Previews are only rough drafts/outlines of what I think/believe the next Chapter will hold. I never know until I write.**_


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N - :D Hello my dear, faithful readers! Chapter 30 is... here! Whoop Whoop and I would like to apologize for the delay! BUSY week and I had Night of Joy at Disney Friday. First off, I would like to thank and let it be known how much I appreciated all the feedback/reviews on my last Chapter. I went back and read them over again when I thought I wouldn't get this Chapter up until NEXT WEEK but you guys made me pull through! GAH you guys are wonderful! Anyway, This Chapter kind of concludes the Capitol trip some, it surprised me and I wrote it! Also though, it kind of... skips all over the place, if that's the right word? I added alot of different emotions in this Chapter, along with some FLUFF! ( "It's so fluffy!" What movie did I just quote? (; )I felt like though the 'fluff' was needed because the next Chapter and really, the rest of the story will be very... chaotic should I say? ;) ;) Also, I'm only saying this BUT... there are some 'hidden' things in this Chapter that are hinting to what some of the next Chapters will entail. It might be hard (it will...) for you to find but it's pretty obvious to me (of course!). ;) **

**I would like to give my BIGGEST THANK YOU'S to: autumn-robin, Ephesians613, Firework7, MadHatter0542, Swifty22, Natureislife, CatnipGirlOnFire and Bellabear9898 for the AMAZING, WONDERFUL reviews and feedback on Chpt. 29! God I love you guys SO much! You REALLY don't know how much they keep me going and encourage me through this... HONESTLY! Ephesians613 - Thank you for noticing that I keep Katniss in her written(by S. C.) character, I hate when Fanfics will make the characters different than who they are. I love Katniss' personality and I don't/didn't want to change that. And thank you for your words of encouragment! Love to you! Firework7 - Yes, I actually don't know exactly what I'm writing when I sit down at my laptop, I let my fingers do the typing while the scenario plays in my head, like a movie almost;) MadHatter0542 - I'm glad you love the story and the humor I try to add... who doesn't love humor? Swifty22 - I hope you are feeling better.. or get better soon!:( Natureislife - Your very.. very welcome! Thank you for making me squeal when I get a plus number on my review!;) Bellabear9898 - Girl.. I know the feeling! I stay up reading Fanfics when I need to be "ZZzz"! I actually did consider her having twins but... I can't put that much on Katniss' plate?:( And thank you to everyone else that reviewed, I read every one of them!**

**Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this Chapter, it's got alot of different little things. Also, I apologize again for the delay, I was so busy:( NOW... Chapter 31 will NOT be up until NEXT WEEK, FRIDAY OR SATURDAY the 20th OR 21st. The remainder of this week will be busy and you know... you know what the next Chapter is... BABY! So really, I could use the extra time to write the important Chapter anyway:) Give's ya some anticipation!;) I'm going to keep the Preview VERY simple because I don't want to give anything away but please, trust me, this will be the BEST CHAPTER YET... It's a Galniss baby!:D Anyway, I hope you enjoy this Chapter, I wrote it quickly but I thought it turned out 'Okay':\ Do I need to stop being hard on my Chapters? Feel free to tell me!;) Anyway's, Enjoy my lovely readers, you deserves it. Would LOVE to read/hear thoughts on this Chapter.. Review! Much love - Macayla**

**I unofficially call this Chapter: "Expectations."**

***Some Strong/Mild sensuality in this Chapter***

* * *

Expectations.

I hate the word.

And the meaning.

Maybe I never truly, deeply knew what this whole 'Capitol-Trip' would hold. Maybe I expected it to go better, but maybe worse. After I had yelled uncontrollably to the shocked, open mouthed, Capitol Woman, a near by Peacekeeper excused me from the trip. Gale wasn't letting me go home alone.

And neither was Prim.

I open my closed eyes, the sight of District 7's lumber fields passing out of the train window. I turn over, wiping the old tear stains from my cheeks, expecting to see Gale sitting next to me but I don't.

No surprise.

I feel slightly bad for him. He's been running from one end of the train to the other for the past four and half hours, With hopes of claming my crying and calming Prim's broken heart as the trip was cut far to short. It's only the three of us in the train, the calm voice of Gale fills it through the silence. I haven't been able to look at Prim. The feeling is neutral for both of us right now I guess. Gale gave up trying to comfort me an hour ago when I started to ignore him.

I rub my protruding belly in small circles, I guess every pregnant woman does this gesture. The baby sits violently as my complete five hours of unease since the incident with the woman this morning. Each kick reminds me of her words, one part that strings the most-

"_.. she would be ashamed of herself!"_

Maybe that's why I snapped so quickly? I _did _feel ashamed at exactly her words, for bringing a child into the messed up world because Gale and I couldn't keep our hands to ourselves. But I was just beginning to feel a peaceful, reassuring calmness I didn't know truly existed. It was Gale's words just the night before, cuddled together in the soft, hotel bed, Gale's head resting gently on our baby's dwelling-

"_I'll never let anything hurt the two of you. Ever."_

His remark was heavy with sleep, but I plunged into no nightmares like I thought. The first night in the Capitol and all. And it wasn't Gale's only time getting me this reassurance. But it was that night that I felt like I wasn't fully responsible for creating this child in the world we live in. I felt like, and I know, Gale was right. There is nothing Gale loves me than his family. He's a protector.

Just like me.

With the two of us, our child, our family, will never be in danger more than he or she can handle. And for the first time, I _didn't _feel ashamed. I nearly felt… joyous that our babies arrival is fast approaching. But of course, that was until the next morning. How ironic?

The soothing circles do nothing to sooth the baby. I'm not sure how I feel now, about the whole 'being ashamed' thing. Do people really view it that way? People in our own District? Does Greasy Sae and Darius think that of me? Do the rest of the people in the Hob think that? What do they think when they see a seventeen year old, 28week pregnant girl, with barley enough game and money to feed her and her husband, let alone her family and soon to be child? Maybe the smiles, polite questions and the still coming 'Congrats' are all fake? Maybe Greasy Sae's comment's about baby sitting the 'pumpkin' are all fake too? Maybe Mrs. Mildred's, "Can I help with anything?" comment is fake? Maybe even the teachers smile's at the school is all fake and put on? They're probably talking about me behind my back.

Wouldn't surprise me.

But what does?

XX

Somehow I found sleep.

Don't ask how.

But Gale helps me stand as I assume we arrive back home, in twelve.

_Home!_

I can feel the slight smile fold on my lips despite the train cabin being near dark from the nightfall fast approaching. They mentioned they contacted my mother, the Peacekeeper's about our early arrival home.

I guess it's true when I see her wearing a slight frown as I'm helped off the train. I spot Dawson standing next to her, wearing the same frown. I instantly think of Homer. He asked me to keep an eye on him.

Maybe I'm the one that needed to be 'eyed'?

My mother wraps me in a hug, to tight for my liking. She doesn't ask anything. Doesn't say anything as she folds both Gale and Prim into hugs after me. It's silence. Our walk back home. Dawson doesn't say anything and I feel the urge to mutter him an apology. But I wonder why he's sticking around? Maybe he expected Homer to be with us too, instead of staying with the group like everyone else.

Expectations.

I hate them.

XX

The warm sensation and pressure on my feet wake me from my slumber. I don't really remember coming home last night, I don't remember getting in my bed and I don't remember changing into my nightclothes. I open my eyes, my head resting upward on my pillow, immediately the late morning sunlight blurs my vision for a few seconds but I spot Gale, sitting at the foot of the bed and rubbing my exposed feet.

"Good morning, baby." He says gently, keeping his hands on my feet but leaning far over me for a kiss. I return it without hesitation.

"Good morning." I mutter afterwards, still heavy with sleep.

It silent for a long time. The baby doesn't kick and I feel myself on the verge of sleep again with Gale still rubbing circles on my feet. I'm almost there again when he speaks.

"You were restless last night." He says calmly, staring at my swollen feet.

I'm not sure how to respond, no doubt my RLS acting up. RLS stands for Restless Leg Syndrome and I absolutely hate it, I think Gale does more though. My mother says it should fade when the baby comes and I hope it does. I shake my head though to Gale's words.

"Sorry." I say, meeting his bright, grey eyes. He smiles and leans over to kiss me again.

"Don't be." He says before our lips meet yet again.

The kiss isn't over passionate, or overly heated but it has a charismatic charm to it I haven't felt from a kiss from Gale in quite some time, at least weeks, a month. Maybe two.

Hungry.

I can't say Gale and I have done much since the bump has fully consumed my daily activities. It's not the either one of us doesn't want to, but between my work, preparing for the baby, my crazed emotions, symptoms and mess up sleep schedule and between his mess up time with hunting more, trading more, teaching Rory to hunt and trying to prepare for both the baby too and what was the Capitol trip… there just hasn't been time. But right now, in the late morning time, while Gale's mouth is working on mine I decide screw whatever we needed to get done today… if we needed too.

He ignores my feet now and slowly drags his hands up my body, even touching the large, raised bump in a sexy but loving way. As soon as I feel his tongue grazing my bottom lip, I allow his tongue to enter my mouth. My eyes fly open and I can't help the moan that escapes my lips at the taste of Gale. Orange and game. I'm sure it would be a turn off for most girls, but I'm not like most girls.

It drives me crazier.

XX

I find myself in what must be the worlds most awkward, uncomfortable position as Gale begins working in a rhythm in me. My loud moans and Gale's loud grunts surface the quiet bedroom, I regret the open window. I have every damn pillow in the house stacked behind me for support as Gale slams into me with passion but gentleness. We are both near the edge, a release I've never been more excited to find, when there's a loud, frantic knock at the door.

"Damn it!" Gale curses through his winded breathing, slowly down but not stopping

I lift my head from my pillow when a moan escapes my lips at Gale's doings.

"Who would…" I moan again. "… be here?" I ask, sounding just as, if not more winded than Gale.

"Your sister." He tells me, pulling out and kissing me quickly.

Prim.

I had nearly forgot she's more mad at me than a donkey is to his owner, whatever that means(my father use to use the slang). We haven't spoken to each other since the incident and I assume this is why she's here. Gale gets up, throwing his nightclothes back on in a flash. He comes over to help me but Prim knocks again on the door frantically. She must think I'm ignoring her. The thought breaks my heart.

"Go get the door. I'll be down in a minute." I tell him. He's gone down the stairs in yet another flash.

I pull my own nightclothes on fast, pulling my oversized t-shirt over my belly just in time to see Prim running into the room. Her hair is sticking my all over the place and her face is red from running.

"Mom wants you to come over! Now!" She shouts at me, grinning like a bobcat.

I'm confused, but I don't have time to respond before Prim's is grasping my hand tightly, assisting me down the stairs as Gale looks on even more confused.

"What's going on Prim?" Gale asks, holding back a yawn.

"Just come on! You too!" She shouts to Gale as we pass him.

She drags me out the door and into the street before I can protest, the chilly early December air makes me realize the start of winter is upon us. My long black pants and dark blue, oversized shirt do nothing for the cold. The baby kicks in protest.

As Gale and Prim are helping me up the steps of Prim's and my mother's home(which is really unnecessary), I stop dead in my tracks. I quickly realize exactly why my mother wanted me to visit 'right now'. I can hear agonizing moans and shouts coming from inside through the opened front door.

"It's okay, Katniss." Prim lowers her voice. "Mrs. Asker is having her baby. Mom just wants you to see it so you know what to expect." She finishes with the sweetest of smiles.

I look over to Gale, maybe for an answer, for a thought on this whole situation. I know Gale doesn't want to witness it, I'm sure no man does if it's at least not their own baby. Prim nudges my shoulder and Gale only looks at me blankly. My next words spill out before I can stop them.

"Alright."

XX

I watch from the kitchen, to scared to enter the living room. I have a pretty good view from here anyway. Gale stands with me, holding my hand tightly while his other arm is around my waist. Prim stands with me for the moment.

I watch on, as the woman is bent on all fours on the floor, screaming into one of the pillows scattered around. My mother rubs soothing circles on her back while her husband paces the room. I stare at him intently for several moments before I notice he's staring back, the tight scowl on his face can't be missed. We look away at the same time.

"They divorced last week, at the Justice Building." Prim says to me in a whisper. Divorce is common in twelve, it doesn't surprise me. But it does that she's pregnant and her young age.

But the matter would describe why he's not trying to comfort or calm his wife any, not that I would really know what the husbands do in this situation. When I was young, I would always stay clear of my mothers work with birthing. The screams and shouts of pain would tare right through me, reminding me of the pain my father must have felt as he died in the mines. I even seemed to handle gory, bloody work my mother did/does better than what I'm witnessing right now. I would always run when I saw a pregnant woman come to my mother. It never surprised Gale and his family when they would wake up and find me slumbering on their couch the next morning, they knew why. Running is what I feel like doing right now as the woman curses loudly through a painful scream, a scream loud enough that I know people around could hear. Gale grips my hand tighter as he senses my unease. The baby sits repeatedly. Between the kicks, screams of the woman and Gale tight grasp I decide I can't take it anymore. I bolt out of the house as the first tear leaves my eyes. Running isn't an option for me currently, but I quickly make my way to somewhere. Not home.

The Woods.

XX

The winter is harsh this year, harsher than ever. The children return a day early from their Capitol trip, something to do with Airgusta threats. I only roll my eyes at Principle Maddox. Mrs. Mildred has fully taken over the Music program for me now, I can't walk to that side of town now without some symptom from my pregnancy getting in the way.

The days turn into weeks, harsh, cold weeks as December progresses. I never leave the home and I never see Gale. Hunting during winter has never been easy, even when we were both hunting together but now it's even harder. Gale leaves early in the morning to hunt and trade until late afternoon, only to resume hunting at dusk. I see him for two, three hours before I head to bed. I'm usually asleep when he comes home.

Things have never been quite the same since I witnessed Mrs. Asker delivering her baby… between Gale and I. He found me that afternoon, crying under the old oak tree we normally take our hunting breaks under. I don't know how I managed to get around the fence with my belly, it seems like such a blur. It seemed like he would never find me, and when he did, somehow we found ourselves arguing… but I don't know why. Our opinions differed on the matter of rather or not the birth of a baby is a beautiful thing or disgusting. The differ was harmless until I became irritated… and so did Gale. We made up, but with him being home so little, it never truly seemed like we did.

If I couldn't possibly be any more miserable I am. Thirty two weeks in is pure hell, especially when my mother starts to monitor my pregnancy less and less, only making quick stops every so few days and keeping the conversations at a minimal. Back pain and mood swings return. I feel bad when I yell at Gale one afternoon for getting the blood of a water fowl all over the dinning room table… like _we _always do. It made the guilt even worse when I watched Gale go the next three days without eating for the sake of making sure I and the rest of our family have enough to eat. I tried making it up to him, after he got into bed, even though I wasn't fully in 'the mood'-

"Not tonight." He said flatly, rolling back over.

I sit now though, at the table, sipping on the tea he made before leaving for hunting as I wait for my mothers once-a-week pregnancy visit. Judging by the late morning sunlight coming in through the open window, she's nearly an hour late for her normal time. I sigh and it takes me a good five minutes to get up from my chair, I grunt when I feel the weight of the baby. I reach the sink to put my empty mug in right as there's a soft knock. Everyone, being Gale and I's family, know to let themselves in if I'm home alone, as most of the time, it could take me a good ten minutes to shuffle myself from the living room to the front door.

The baby gives me several good kicks as I watch the door open to be greeted by a smiling Prim.

"Good morning." She says, wrapping her arms around me the best she can. I return the hug but was not expecting her.

"Hey, Little Duck." I reply, kissing the top of her head.

"Whoa! The little ones active, huh?" She comments as I assume she can feel the baby move from underneath her arms. She backs up some, placing her hands on my large, huge belly. The gesture doesn't bother me anymore… the kicks still do.

"Yeah." Is all I reply, closing my eyes tightly.

"Sorry." She mumbles, barley heard.

She spends the next thirty, forty minutes doing exactly what my mother does to me. Checking the movements, asking me endless questions, giving me advice for this and that, checking my pulse and the list could go on. When were down, I follow her into the nursery… my new favorite room in the house.

"How's Gale?" She asks me as I take a seat in the rocker as she goes around the room. Looking. I sigh at her question.

"Good. I guess." I reply sheepishly. "I don't get to see him as often." I reply quickly but realize how pathetic that must sound. "You know, with winter and all."

There's no need to explain what I mean by 'winter'. It's the harshest, most difficult time of the year for the whole district. She shakes her head and inspects a picture Gale put in the room just like week. His Father. I rub my belly and rock as the baby begins to calm down some. It silent for a while.

I watch Prim.

She's not little anymore. Not the little toddler I use to watch my parents fuss over. Not the little girl clinging to my legs everywhere I took her with me. Not the little girl crying when I would drop her off at school. She's bigger now. Her long, blond braid stretching down her back, her bright blue eyes becoming beautiful instead of 'cute', her growing lady figure(I try not to think of what that means), her height… she almost as tall as me now, the scars on her hands. Not ones matching mine… matching our mothers.

"How's mother?" I ask her suddenly, wishing to take back the words for some odd reason.

She turns me way but still stars at the picture of Gale's father in her hands. She shrugs her shoulders and I notice the dark circles under her eyes. She almost shrugs again, appearing to hold back a scowl.

"It's mom. What do you expect?" She says simply. I take notice that it's one of the only times I have ever heard Prim talking down or bad about our mother.

"Not much, I guess." I reply flatly. The sound of the front door opening rips through the awkward silence. I assume it's Gale home early from hunting.

I don't ask Prim more questions though, as I have a pretty good explanation to her answer. Our mother is obviously slipping back into one of her oblivious states. I laugh to myself, caring less that Prim sees. When we, I needed my mother the most, after the death of my father, she left me. Blacked out. Left me to find for myself. And now. When I _need _her yet _again _with this pregnancy, weeks shy of giving birth, crying myself to sleep every night by myself… she blacks out again. I turn my gaze back up to Prim, realizing how much, this time around, _I _need _her_.

"Hey, I'm home."

I hear the words through the doorway and turn my gaze to find a tangled hair Gale. Looking back and forth between myself and Prim.

"Everything alright?" He asks, coming in further. I take note to the two turkeys he's holding in his hands and the wide smile plastered across his face.

"Fine." I answer, forcing myself to smile.

I am happy, somewhat, that Gale obviously got those two turkeys. We _never _have that type of game during this time of year. He comes over to me and I give him a genuine kiss. He mutters my favorite words, despite what I feel towards him or despite my emotions-

"I love you."

XX

The second week of January comes quickly. All bets are confirmed on my mother when it's Prim who begins taking over my pregnancy. I don't try to talk to her, but she doesn't either. Nor do I want to.

Gale helps me as we both dress in some of our nicest dress clothes we have to attend Vick's Science Fair at the school. I dress in a soft, baby blue, knee length dress that displays my bump proudly. I decide to wear my ever growing hair loose. I move it to the side as Gale helps zip up the small zipper in the back. When I feel Gale press his lips to my exposed neck, I can't help the moan that escapes my throat. We haven't done anything since Prim interrupted us over a month ago. He deepens the kisses on my neck, working his way to my ear and muttering-

"I'd rather have this dress off of you." I crane my neck around and our lips meet quickly. "Just my opinion."

I push my weight off of him, turning around and giving him a quick kiss. He frowns in disappointment.

"Well…" I give him one more kiss, more for me than him. "I'm pretty sure Vick won't want us to be late and there's no telling how long it will take me to get to the school." I answer, placing my hands on his chest, the bump in between us.

He sighs and I find myself holding in laughter.

"Just a quickie?" He says, grinning and winking.

"Gale!" I shout, slapping him on the arm. Remembering the last time we tried a 'quickie' a few months ago, only to be walked in on by Rory.

He laughs and the conversation is quickly dropped as I begin trying to put my black flat shoes on. I hold the other one as Gale tries to stuff my overly swollen feet into the other. Finally, Gale manages to get my shoes on. I was about to reward him with a kiss when he scurries off, saying 'stay put'. I laugh when he's down the stairs, knowing there's no where much I can go without help anyway. He comes back up fairly quick, holding something in his hands. I notice that it's a freshly blossomed flower, a few small little ones attached to a small leaf. He holds it out to me, not for me to take it but that I can see it. I instantly recognize it, despite that I haven't hunted in months. The little, light yellow blossomed flowers attached to the bright green leaf is no other than a Linden Flower. They grow on Linden Tree's by the lake and we make our tea sometimes from them. The smile that forms on my mouth is nothing buy pure joy and happy. Linden Flower's aren't my favorite(They're not the prettiest either) but flowers _never _grow at this time of the year. I have the urge to ask him, _'How in the hell did you get that?' _but I hold off for the moment being. He helps me stand and I watch as he places the little flower behind my ear.

"Something beautiful for the woman who's even more beautiful." He speaks quietly.

I would laugh, at his romantic, cheesy remark but I don't. The smile only widens as I watch as he backs away, taking a good look before he turns, walking towards my dresser. I loose my smile, not by my emotions but my confusion. He comes back over quickly, holding up my little childhood mirror that I had brought with me to the Capitol, the one my father gave me when I was only five. I'm not sure if Gale knows the story exactly of this mirror. That I don't use it all the time, that I don't look into the reflection unless I'm utterly feeling down or depressed… the opposite of what I feel now. My smile though somehow returns.

I force myself to look into it though. Noticing how different I look yet again. But for the first time, since my fathers death, there's no depressed Katniss, sadden, dark Katniss, crying, painful looking Katniss. Instead I find a smiling, young, beautiful pregnant Katniss, smiling because of her husband.

I turn my gaze back up to Gale, thinking that maybe, just maybe he _did _know about the history this mirror holds and he did this on purpose, to show me that I can be happy again… despite I'm pregnant, married and fatherless at seventeen. I smile even more wide at him, gently taking the mirror from him and placing it on the nightstand behind me. I wrap my arms around his neck tightly and his arms quickly find me. He buries his head into my neck and I smell the most comfortable, amazing scent. The scent of oranges, game and woods. The scent of Gale. He hugs me tight and I ignore that fact we are already five minutes late to the school.

"I love you, Katniss. So much." He says, hugging tighter.

I return the words, meaning them more than ever. I never thought I would say those words to him… to Gale. At least, not in that way, not saying it while carrying his child inside of me. I always loved Gale, from the moment I met him… maybe a few weeks after(to be honest). But I never knew exactly how I loved Gale until (to be honest again)… _after _I married him. I would never tell Gale this, and I don't plan to. Not to hide it, but I don't want him to judge me on it. I love him now and that's what matters. My next words are genuine despite any humor involved. The words are muffled out by Gale's shirt but he hears me-

"You're not getting a quickie."

XX

That evening of the "District 12 Community School Science Fair" was nothing but exactly what I needed. Even though it took me a near fifty minutes (twenty extra minutes) to get there, I wouldn't take the miserable walk back for nothing. The pure joy on both Vick's and Hazel's face made up nicely for it. Nearly half of the District, rather they had children participating or not (or even of they had kids), came out for the event. The Science projects were nothing fancy. Just simple things strung together by house hold, trash. Of course, a few of the more wealthier, merchant children dolled up their projects with paint or colored putty. I was proud of Vick's solar system made of garbage. I wasn't lying when I told Vick it was nicely down and actually… pretty. The way he had the aluminum cans and such set up nearly made it look like a piece of strange, captivating art. You could tell it was a solar system, even though you couldn't tell what plants were which.

I can't complain when I say it was nice to see people I haven't seen in a while. I'm not a 'people person' (everyone knows that) but I haven't seen half the people in several, several months… since the Harvest Festival. Greasy Sae was my favorite person to see, talking non-stop about the baby, asking me a billion and one questions. Maybe she doesn't think I should be ashamed of myself? She asks me how far along I am now and I answer with a confidence-

"Thirty three weeks."

Madge fusses over my bump for nearly an hour. Ranting on and on about names, clothes and everything else you can think of for the little 'runt' (her words, not mine).

"Babies are just so cute…" She says, too loudly for my liking. "Their chubby cheeks and all!" She changes her voice as though she's actually talking to a baby. I hold in my laugh. "Damn, Katniss! Now I want one!" She lets out.

I always forget that Madge is more foul mouthed and wild than what meets the eyes. Her curly blond locks, toddler looking face and small figure hide it perfectly. I only shake my head and smile, wishing Gale would come back quickly from taking Posy around the tables of projects and talking to his work friends (I try to avoid the fact he goes back next week).

"I've been trying to find a man but I've had no luck." She says with a frown. I hold in my laugh again. "I tried making a move on the three baker's sons but I only got a one night stand out of one of them."

I nearly choke on the water I was sipping on in my hands. She see's this and starts laughing. It doesn't surprise me, Madge having 'one-night-stands' but it does with the innocent sons of the baker. I only can think of one in particular.

"Which one?" I find myself asking before I can stop myself. I don't care. I don't care if it was Peeta Mellark. But why am I asking? She laughs again.

"You're married, Katniss!" She says, as thought she thinks I'm asking for another reason. Her grin widens.

"God Madge I know." I snap back, mad that she would think that. "But which one?" She sighs before answering.

"The hot one." She replies quietly as a group of people walk past us, her grin getting even wider than before. I rub my belly with my free hand as the baby starts kicking.

"And the hot one would be?" I ask again. To me, all the Mellark's look like older versions of themselves… triplets.

"Really, Katniss?" She asks, cocking her head to the side. I'm confused and she does the same thing with her head again, pressing her lips together tightly.

I finally get what she's indicating and follow her gaze to where a group of boys are talking. I spot exactly who she's talking about and it _isn't _the youngest of the Mellark's.

I spot only the oldest, laughing at a joke the group must have told. I find myself sighing with relief… but why? I realize she's hasn't said his name for the sake of how close he is to us.

I turn my gaze back to her and she raises her eyebrows. I only shake my head at her, lost for words. She mouths her next words though

'He was good.'

And with that, she walks off. Walking past him on purpose.

"What'd she want?" I hear from behind me.

I turn around and see Gale and Posy, their hands interlocked with each other. I contemplate for a second, telling Gale she wanted nothing (which is the truth) or messing with him. I decide the latter and I grin at him, standing on my lip toes so my lips graze his ear and whisper-

"She told me how good the bakers son can fuck her."

Even though I might have… over exaggerated Madge's words, the shocked face Gale gives me is absolutely priceless. I laugh but find myself maybe regretting it when I look down to see Posy looking up at us, laughing too.

The rest of the slow evening is wonderful. The babies kicks are mineral and I find myself relaxed sitting in a chair and striking up a conversation with Bristel, Darius, Madge (who returned to 'hang out' with me), Prim and Homer while Posy sleeps in my lap, her arms cuddles around my belly.

Soon enough though the evening begins to turn to night and the children begin to pack away their little projects. Gale and I say one last goodbye to everyone we know, including our families before heading out. We take the shortest rout home to which happens to be the rout through town. The last bit of sunlight shines on the old, rusted buildings and shop's that are turning their signs to 'closed'. I notice the Quarter Quill Posters plastered on the buildings, stating various things about the upcoming Games involving past Victors-

"_Support Your Favorite Victor!" _

"_This Will Be A Game Never Forgotten!" _

"_Even The Strongest Can Not Overcome The Capitol!"_

Then there's even posters of the Tributes… Victors plastered along the buildings as we continue to walk. Only a few stick out to me though-

"_Johanna Mason | District 7."_

"_Finnick Odair | District 4."_

But the one that sticks out the most-

"_Haymitch Abernathy | District 12." _

I stare at the poster for a second but continue walking when I feel Gale push me a little. I don't ask him my question, about what they'll do since we don't have a female victor for them.

The posters continue down the side of the buildings for sometime before they change into something different. I knew they were gathering men to join the Capitol Army to fight Airgusta if needed, Gale had signed up before he knew I was pregnant but he got out of it. But now there are posters reading various things about this topic. One poster sticks out to me as well-

" _Join and fight with the Capitol against Airgusta! _

_Visit your local Justice Building for more information."_

The words are accompanied by a picture of a large Army with enough gear on to cover their faces and bodies completely. A large explosion is photo shopped in behind them. It's Gale who I have to nudge to keep walking this time. We arrive home, speechless at the various posters we saw around her District. I decide to try to cheer up the new found… 'quiet mood'… 'down mood'?, we have found ourselves in by giving Gale what he wanted earlier before we left. But he declines to my utter and complete surprise-

"I'm going to bed." Is his only response as I begin making a trail of kisses down his neck this time.

He pulls away and I watch him ascend the stairs quickly.

Disappearing in the darkness.

XX

The next week that follows is hell.

Pure Hell.

Gale goes back to work. The baby gets heavier. Winter gets harsher. My mother gets worse. Posy gets sick. Food gets scarce again. I'm forced to Hunt again and more posters of both appear everywhere now, covering the whole District.

The night that Gale came home after one am, drunk as a skunk and trying to get me to have sex with him I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I lost all self control, locking myself in the bathroom and crying until the sun came up. He said he'd never make it up to me.

And I believe that.

The next week comes quickly and were only shy of February. Things start to brighten up some. Posy gets better, to an existent, the weather warms up a tad bit and I find myself catching more game than last week. It's not easy to hunt with a thirty five week protruding belly in the way, physically and mentally but I make ends meet. Gale does everything in his will and power to make up coming home drunk to me. He gets off at four in the afternoon now (how he manages to, I don't know) and cooks for me, rubs my feet and back without me asking and compliments me constantly. I would find it funny, but I'm still beyond pissed at him. I'm grateful for his gestures and that his new time schedule allows him to hunt at dusk, minimizing the time I have to hunt right now. He says I shouldn't be at all, and I agree but it's still winter. He frowns when I remind him.

The next morning I find myself waking with a yawn and an awful kick from the baby to my ribs, enough that I grunt loudly.

"Alright, alright." I reply to the babies kick. "I'm getting up." I throw the covers off of me.

I change into my hunting clothes quickly, knowing I lied to Gale last night when I told him I wouldn't hunt this morning, but with the babies arrival only weeks away and winter still, we need the extra food.

I make my way to the fence quickly, listening for the hum I never hear. I begin to climb it with careful, baby steps, being sure I don't loose my footing. I almost fell once… but only once.

I retrieve my bow and arrows from their log and begin making my track in the woods, getting the game from the snares and fishing nets(which isn't much) before actually hunting. I find a high but easy tree that I can climb and I nest myself on the lowest branch. I decide to wait and take it easy, hoping for any game to pass by. Usually I can get a few rabbits by doing this during winter.

Somehow I dozed off. I wake up with the early afternoon sun warming my cold body but I realize I was woken up by something. The tight, cramped, _painful_ feeling in my lower abdomen and back immediately puts me on the alarm. I cry out a little when the feeling tightens even more and I drop my bow to the ground bellow.

I know instantly that this _isn't _good . . . . . .

* * *

_**Chapter 31 Preview: Katniss has found herself in a bind, being high up in a tree, in the middle of the woods. Is Katniss going into labor early or could it just be a fathom of her imagination or something worse? But what will Katniss do? With Gale at work, Prim at school and her mother back into a depression, what will she do to seek out help? Will Hazel be home next door? And what will happen when nothing goes as Katniss planned... as anyone planned? Complications will arise, heart-felt conversations will be shared! Read the most important Chapter yet Saturday the 21st!**_


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N - Hello my amazing readers! _THE BABY IS HERE!:D_ I know you have to be just as excited as I am for this life changing / story changing Chapter in the story! BUT.. with this means that there are only about two more Chapters left... There MIGHT be a third book to this, but we'll talk about that later. Anyway, I found it sort of... well, yes, I found this Chapter hard to write because of two things. 1) I've never had a baby/been through birth.. duh! and 2) I'm not around babies/pregnant women a whole lot, I'm one of the youngest in my family. So please, if there's anything Medically incorrect, I apologize but birthing isn't my area of knowledge. Also, PLEASE tell me what you think of the name? I LOVE it! ;)**

**THANK YOU to, BellaBear9898, CatnipGirlOnFire, Firework7 and MadHatter0542 for reviewing Chapt. 30! BellaBear9898 - Yes, I am BEYOND BLESSED by the response I have been getting about this story! CatnipGilOnFire - You pay attention!;) Yes... Gale has been acting a bit... weird ? ;) **

**Anywho's, Again, I really do wish this chapter was a bit... better? but I truely did my best. In the next Chapter(32), you'll be discovering more of the little baby and alot more about... GALE! I do have BIG plans although the preview may just be simple for now. NOW... Chapter 32 will not be up until SATURDAY October 5th if NOT SOONER. I hate to be having to add all this extra time but I am on a new schedule with several activities I'm involved in PLUS school so please, bare with me! PLEASE tell me what you think of this Chapter with leaving a review or even a PM! I LOVE to hear from my readers! Happy reading folks... I KNOW you'll love this Chapter! - Macayla**

**I unofficially call this Chapter: "Focus."**

* * *

I dig my fingernails into the cold, hard bark of the branch I'm nestled on while the pain rips through me and a million and one things run through my mind.

This can't be labor.

I'm only Thirty-Five weeks.

I grit my teeth and my eyes shut out of force. This pain isn't the worse I've ever felt, but it's most certainly nothing I want to be experiencing. Almost though as soon as it comes, it goes away. My eyes fly open with a gasp from my mouth. I had always thought you would know your in labor before you would have gotten to this point, but maybe I should have been paying more attention when I felt that non-painful, come and go cramping yesterday and last night in my abdomen.

Should have.

I hate those words, too.

I know sitting up here in this tree, letting the blistering cold weather chill my bones, will do nothing for my current matter. I know that wasn't one of those 'fake' contractions every woman has through out pregnancy. This was more. But I feel fine now.

Like it didn't happen.

But that's what scares me. And I _don't _like being scared… especially not when it comes to my unborn baby. I decide to take matters in my own hands, realizing I'm doing nothing but hindering whatever the hell's going on. I look down and somehow the 40ft distance from the ground to the branch has grown in my eyes. It seems like I'm stuck on one of those tall, large buildings I saw in the Capitol. But I don't have an option.

I have to get down.

Somehow, someway.

I sit up, removing my hands from my belly that seemed to have been attached since the odd cramp, and search my surroundings. I can't fall down. Not from this distance with my belly. I have to climb down. I swing my leg over carefully, getting an uneasy feeling in my abdomen again. I pause involuntary, waiting for the pain to hit… but it doesn't… _not yet_. I know I'm running out of time before the pain will hit again, the cramping feeling becoming more and more intense by the second. I begin and come to the realization that I'll have to use the same method of getting down as how I got up. But getting down isn't as easy with a baby sticking out of your stomach, extra weight and the feeling of the intense cramp building and building. I'm afraid to begin my descent down, in fear the pain will hit and I'll loose my footing. But I can't stay up here forever. I should have thought about how I was going to get down before I got up here.

Should have.

Carefully and slowly, I begin trying to stick my feet in the wedges I used on my way up, my hands dangling from the branch I was just sitting on. It works and I use this pattern the way down, taking me several minutes just to reach the halfway point. I take a quick breather, realizing the cramp has grown painful now. Just slightly more painful than before. I hold on tight to the notches in the oak my hand is holding, gritting my teeth and squeezing my eyes shut. I try not to think that I might be losing my baby at this very moment.

I'm _not _losing my baby.

I decide not to wait for the pain to subside anymore and I open my eyes, forcing them open while I slowly begin my descent again. It's even more harder now, with the pain, but I manage. I've been through worse.

But maybe not.

I _can't _lose my baby. I chant that sentence over and over in my head, watching my steps and hands. I lose myself in the thought of the chant enough that I'm almost unaware when I feel the hard, compacted snow under my feet, just as the pain subsides. Without my control, I squat down, twisting the cold snow in my hands, having never been more grateful for my feet to be on the ground. I snap out of my haze quickly though, going back to the task at hand. I have to get out of these woods and find help. I hate to admit it… but I do. I need Prim, she's the only one that will know what's going on. I don't even give my mother a thought.

I ignore my bow on the ground and unhook the small, wooden hook I use for my quiver doing the winter, placing it against the tree. I can come back to those later, but I might not be able to come back to my baby if I don't get help. I begin quickly and swiftly, the best I can through the snow, making my way to the fence. It will be a good fifteen minute walk but I'll manage… I can do it. I stuff my hands in my coat pockets, huffing almost at the uneasy feeling that won't go away. I know it means the pain will soon return. The huffing does nothing though to help the stress, anxiety and worry that are quickly over taking my body and emotions. I begin to feel tears well up in my eyes as I begin trying to distract my mind off of what _could _be happening. My thoughts though are just as worse as the pain I'm beginning to feel. My mind can only conquer up thoughts of _what if _my baby _is _dying? What will happen? Will I have to carry the dead baby the rest of the month and a half I have left?

Will Gale hate me?

I think back to eight or so months ago, when I had just found out I was pregnant. I was devastated. Beyond upset with myself for allowing it. Now though, at the thought that I might just be losing my baby, I'm upset again. That dawns on me far to longer than I would like it and before I know it, I'm coming up on the meadow with the fence just in view. But before my foot can touch the open, clear meadow, a hard, _extremely painful _cramp overrides me, the strongest yet. I let out a shriek loud enough to startle myself and I'm yet again unable to control what I do. Before I know it, I'm using one of the last few oak trees to help guide me to my knees. And before I know it again, I'm sprawled out on all fours on the ground, my hands that are in fists sinking deeper into the snow. I feel my fingernails dig into my palms and the taste of blood in my mouth from, I assume, sinking my teeth into my tongue. I don't know though and I could careless. This cramp seems to stick around longer than any of the others and I seem to grow louder with my voice. Finally though, as it begins to subside I realize something that knocks the cold air right out of my lungs. A mixture of both relief and fear fill my mind all at once…

I _am _in labor.

XX

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

I knock hard and loud on the door of Hazel's house, only next door of Gale's and I's. Getting over the fence was another task of its own, but I don't want to relay back to that story. I decided Hazel's was the best option right now, with Prim at school, the boys at school and most importantly, Gale at work. I had thought she would be home, being around lunch time and no doubt, feeding herself and Posy. I had thought right (to my joy) when the door swings open quickly but almost hesitantly. Before I take notice to whoever opened the door I realize how pathetic and crazy I must look. With my hands clutching my bump for dear life, my bangs plastered to my forehead with sweat(although I'm freezing) and my hair that's barley hanging on in it's braid. I careless though when I see Posy peek her head from the other side, smiling wide when she see's it's me.

"Posy Hawthorne!" I hear Hazel shout from inside the home. Before I can say anything to Posy though, Hazel opens the door wider.

"Oh dear, what's the matter?" She asks me, taking me by my arms and helping me inside frantically.

"I… I think I'm in labor." I let out, not realizing how dry my throat was. She pauses with trying to walk me to the table and freezes.

"Oh. Oh!…" She begins to stutter, unsure of how to handle the situation.

Through her stuttering though I feel another cramp… contraction rip through me violently, making me cry out again. Hazel lets go of my arms as I clutch the nearby kitchen counter for dear life, letting one of my hands come around and rest at the base of my large belly for support.

"Oh sweet Katniss, I do think your in labor." She says surprisingly calm. "Posy!" She claps her hands together for her attention and I nearly flinch at the sound. I barley hear it though my shriek I'm letting out. "Go get Mrs. Everdeen, now!" I hear her instruct Posy.

"No!" I burst out through my pain and ragged breathing. "She…"

I stutter for a second but there's no need to explain more, Hazel knows the state my mother is in right now. I look over my shoulder as the pain just begins to ease off a bit and see an extremely confused Hazel (and Posy). I know what she needs to get for me and fast.

"Prim!" I say, completely breathless. "Get Prim!"

Before anything else can be said she begins giving Posy instructions for finding Prim at the school, but I know she's thinking the same thing I am, it's not safe to send a newly five year old girl all the way across town and for something so urgent. So I cut her off-

"You go!" I say, breathless again but standing instead of gripping the counter. "Leave Pos with me."

She hesitates, I can see it in her eyes. She eyes me for a few seconds and than Posy. As what was left of the pain completely erases, I walk over to the coat rack by the door, handing her her coat.

"I'm fine." I say, breathless still but much more manageable. "I'm going to walk back over to my house. Posy will be with me."

With my last words, I grab Posy's coat, handing it to her. She puts it on without hesitation, although, it's unnecessary with the short walk only next door.

"Right." She says quietly, staring at the ground. "Right!" She lets out louder with a smile. "I'll be fast. I promise!" And with that, she grabs her jacket from my grasp, running out of the house.

I grab Posy's hand, leaving through the same door and across the snow filled lawn to my own home. I open the door and step inside, realizing Posy has said nothing. My only hope is that I don't have another contraction in front of her, she looked like she had seen a ghost when I had my last one.

"Are you hurt?" She asks me quietly as I begin removing her jacket. Helping her with this task seems to take my mind off of the building cramping feeling.

"No, honey." I reply simply, shaking out her coat. "The baby is just reading to come out now." I say simply again, hoping she'll ask no more questions. She doesn't though.

"I'm hungry." I hear her say with a grin as I begin removing my own coat and scarf. I realize they must not have ate yet, judging it to be around one by the sunlight through the open windows.

"Well…" I say with a sigh, hanging our coats next to each other on the hooks. "Let's find something." I say with a smile.

The smile isn't forced, it's for the first time this morning, genuine. Posy is indeed taking and easing my mind off of the contraction that's about to override me again.

Not thinking of it. Not thinking of it. Not thinking of it.

I repeat that as I move into the kitchen slowly, never letting my hand not hold on to something. Posy follows me, balancing on the tips of her toes as she watches me go for the newly skinned rabbit from last night. I begin chopping it quickly, thankful the pain hasn't made an appearance yet, and retrieve a small pot from the cupboard. I light the fire quickly, deciding chopped rabbit will have to do. While it's cooking, my back facing her, I close my eyes… thinking of Gale.

Gale.

He's the person who I want right now. His strong arms around me. His steady, strong, deep voice telling me everything's going to be ok. Because however, even though this is labor, I have a feeling everything is not going to be ok. I rarely see or hear of premature babies living past birth. They are usually born dead or die within minutes of being born, taking their few first and last breaths wrapped in cloth held by my mother or the parents of the baby. It's a sickening sight to see and I always vowed I would never allow it to happen. And I'm _not_.

By the time I get Posy seated at the table with her small helping is when the next contraction comes in full swing. I'm thankful I was walking back to the stove, therefore my back towards her. I grip the counter and muffle any moans by means of humming. It's not the soft, sing-song humming that I never do but instead it's raspy, broken sounded and no rhythm. The pain remains the same as before and I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, making them water up. All I can see from the darkness my eyelids provide is an image of Gale, deep in the mines and oblivious to what's going on with me right now. What happens if he comes home and I have a dead baby to show him?

_Think positive, Katniss._

The words appear in my head, my own voice but I'm reminded of the time yet again when I had just found out I was pregnant. Gale told me to think positive, that everything happens for a reason. The words are easier said than thought and believed but I know he's right.

He's right.

XX

The contraction seems to ward itself off fairly quick when I hear the chair from the table scuffing on the floor. I stand up, throwing my almost unbraided braid behind my back in hopes I'll look a little more presentable to Posy… even though I'm sure she saw me the whole time from the table. A few seconds later I feel a slight and gentle tug at the bottom of my shirt. I turn around to be greeted with a straight face Posy, handing me her empty plate.

"Thank you." She says quietly, eyeing my bump.

I take the plate, placing it in the sink and not replying. I feel somewhat guilty… ashamed that in Posy's five year old little brain… she has no idea what's really going on. She seems confused but to scared to ask questions. I don't want her to ask questions, not that I don't want to answer but maybe I'm scared of what she'll ask? My own questions that I can't ask myself… let alone answer for a little girl. I pretend to continue scrapping the already cleaned off plate for a minute, just in hopes of buying time. Meanwhile I hear Posy walk back to the table, cleaning her spot where she ate with the small rag we always leave on the table. I smile briefly, but only briefly as the baby takes a _huge _kick for the first time since the contractions started. The plate falls from my grasp, shattering in pieces on the floor with a loud shatter. As if on quoi, the door swings open seconds later and I turn to see a frantic Hazel, Prim and…. Homer? I squint my eyebrows but I have no time to think as I feel another contraction building inside. Not overriding me yet, but building. Prim immediately jumps into action.

"Homer? Go to my house and get the medical bag that's under the sink in the bathroom." She instructs him, urgently but at the same time calming and gentle. "After you bring it back, go to the Justice Building and ask for Mayor Undersee or Madge Undersee, have them send a message to the mines to Gale Hawthorne that his wife is in labor." She says, walking over to me but slowly. Her next words are geared more toward me but for both our ears. "I'm not sure if their let him come home yet… but it's worth a try."

With a quick, violent shake of Homer's head, he's out the door quicker than my eyes can follow. Prim turns her full, one hundred percent attention to me next, guiding me by the arms genteelly to the staircase.

"Can you do the stairs?" She asks me, tucking a piece of stray hair behind my ear. The contraction that has been building hasn't ceased me yet, so yes, I can. I answer with a shake of my head.

She helps me up the stairs slowly, meanwhile instructing Hazel to gather any and every towels and cloth she can find. I chime in quickly, telling her where to find them in our home. Prim guides me to the bed in the room, removing my boots and socks from my feet. She instructs me next to lie down on the bed on my back, I do what she says but I hold back tears, realizing this is becoming more and more _real_.

"We have to see how dilated you are." She says and I know that that means my pants and panties must come off.

I lean back on my elbows, raising my back off the bed so Prim can pull down them better but as I do, a violent and now, most painful contraction yet rips through me _violently_. I fall back to my back, instantly gripping the bed sheets around me and causing Prim's hands to retreat.

"It's okay, Kat." She says calmly as I muffle my moan of pure pain. "Just take long deep breaths. In and out. You got this." Her words of encouragement does beyond wonders, they do indeed help me remain more calm through it and do help my breathing. I just wish it was Gale's voice…

When it finally fades though, I find myself not quite as breathless, despite that was the most painful yet and much more relaxed… the most relaxed I can be at a moment like this. While Prim lets me ride down from my contraction, taking the deep, long breaths she's still instructing, I can't help the tears that begin pooling and spelling over my eyes.

"Prim?" My voice is croaked, cracked, pitchy and raspy but she hears me and scoots closer. "Am I going to lose my baby?" I sound _nothing_ like myself.

Her eyes go almost dark… cold, thinking of my question and taking in the full effect it has. She quiet, for quite sometime and I don't press her for an answer. Maybe I'm to scared of the answer? She knows medical terms and facts better than I do, she would be the one to know in a situation like this. Maybe I shouldn't have asked? I wish I hadn't. She scoots closer before an answer, making my heart fall to my stomach. The sound of a large lightning strike outside makes it worse.

"No." She answers so quietly I'm afraid I didn't hear her right. "You know I'm not going to let that happen."

Sometime's I forget Prim's only thirteen.

XX

Prim has finally managed to help me shimmy my bottoms off of me and she instructs simply and professionally to open my legs. I was always thinking of this moment, dreading it that someone, other than my own husband, has to look at me… down there. I never imagined it would be comfortable, and as I open my legs, it's not but I know it's necessary. 'At least it's Prim.' I say to myself, thinking of the complete, female strangers that come to my mother and have to do this. I begin to relax a little at that thought as Prim begins her work, looking and probing gently around. Meanwhile, Hazel comes back upstairs, dropping the clean towels and cloths on the bed and making her way to the side of the bed I am on. She takes my hand in hers and the gesture relaxes me the best I can right now. The light grasp and gentle smile she sends me warms me.

"How far along is she, dear?" I hear Hazel ask sweetly.

Prim's face is in deep concentration. She looks a few years old than she truly is. She doesn't answer right away. Prim is doing exactly like our mother does, she won't answer the question until _she _knows. It brings a brief smile to my face. It fades quickly.

"Sweetheart, I mean this in the most respectful way I possibly can but…" Hazel opens her mouth and at the word 'but', Prim looks up from her work on me to her. "Do you know, honey, what you are doing? I'm sure you do! More than I do at least!"

She says/asks it with a sweet smile and I know Hazel far to well to know that she truly didn't mean anything rude by it, only concern. Prim squints her eyes quickly but remains straight faced-

"I would do anything for my sister." She says simply, going back to whatever she's doing but somewhat keeping a gaze on her.

I know by now she would know how dilated I am, I don't ask her what's she's doing in fear of her answer. Hazel only responds quickly-

"Of course, dear."

With another loud crack of thunder and the room getting darker with approaching storm clouds, Prim returns her gaze to between my legs-

"We don't have much of an option though do we?" She asks, not rudely, but trying to make a point. She doesn't wait for her to answer. "My mother's done locked me out of her room."

Hazel doesn't respond but I see her shake her head. Prim takes a loud, deep sigh and I see her face in even more concentration and that worries me. I'm about to open my mouth when she removes her hands, backing up some.

"Lift you shirt. Over your belly." She instructs gently but urgently. I do what she says without question, lifting my loose fitted shirt with ease.

"How far?" I ask this time, desperate for an answer. Her hands begin feeling and pressing down on my belly in certain places that must mean something in the medical field.

"Three or Four." She says under her breath, trying to dive into whatever work she's doing more deeply. Three or four centimeters? I can honestly say I'm shocked.

I know by Prim's face, the way her hands are frantically pressing and moving on my belly that something isn't right. And the way she answered me quickly, like I was interrupting thoughts in her head. I feel the baby squirm inside at the unwelcome feeling he must be getting. Before I have time to ask her questions a powerful and urgent contraction rips through me suddenly, causing me to gasp loudly and cling for dear life to Hazel's hand. Prim is so deep into feeling the baby inside of me that she doesn't give me any type of comment, advice, encouragement. Instead, Hazel comes to my rescue.

"Breath, honey. Deep breaths." Her voice is soothing even though I feel as though I'm being ripped in two. "Good job."

After what seems like an eternity of squeezing Hazel's hand, dealing with the pain and listening to her soft, encouraging voice it finally fades. Just in time for Homer to run into the room, dropping the bag on the bed and running back down the stairs. The front door slams behind him. Just as the contraction and Homer are gone, Prim looks back up to Hazel and myself, wiping her hands on one of the clean towels. Her face is hollow and pale and I feel like screaming of pure confusion and unanswered questions. Gale. I want Gale right now.

"Prim dear?" I hear Hazel say, obviously picking up on the same vibe I'm feeling… something isn't right. Prim takes a deep breath and answers suddenly-

"Breech."

XX

The word instantly makes a knot in my stomach, to the baby's disliking (the kick I get proves that). Everyone in the District is far to familiar with the word 'Breech'. I never, ever… _rarely _hear of Breech babies being born alive or living, much less a premature, breech baby. That means my child will have to be pushed out by it's bottom first. It's at her words that I come to the realization… I'm losing my baby today, rather I like it or not. The tears that fall over my eyes and down my cheeks are out of my control. I never thought, looking back years ago, last year, that I would be crying over the fact that I'm losing my baby, my child, my own flesh and blood that is growing inside of me. What am I supposed to say to Gale? Sorry? Pathetic.

Hazel's arms and soft mummers elope me. The gesture is soft, warming and comforting but it's not Gale's arms. It's not Gale's voice.

"Katniss?" That voice belonged to Prim, along with the heavy, consistent sound of a downpour outside and I'm surprised it's not snow.

I look up to see her with a surprisingly straight face, almost looking at me like I'm beyond dumb, like I'm rather stupid. It confuses me, but what hasn't today?

"What did I say to you… just a little bit ago?" She asks me calmly. I think back, retracing and replaying all of the words she has said to me since she got here today. I begin to stutter with an answer-

"I… I don't kno-"

"I said, I wasn't going to let it happen." She answers. "I'm _not _going to let that happen, Katniss." She keeps going- "I'm this baby's Aunt, and although I'm young, Katniss…" She looks at Hazel with her next words. "… and I can't say I know _exactly _what I'm doing…" Her gaze back to me. "I am _not _going to let this baby die on us." Her next words seal the deal and I… believe her. "I promise."

'_Promises are powerful. Never make a promise if you can't keep it.'_, The words of my father instantly pop into my head. When he was still alive, he use to always tell me this. Prim was still to young to ever understand this when he was alive, so I've always carried on the tradition of telling Prim this. The hard, stone look she is giving me now is a clear sign from not just my father, but her remembrance to this. She sends me a small, tight smile. I return it, a lone, happy(?) tear falling from my drying eyes.

After checking one last time, to which I'm still either three or four centimeters, she takes one of the large blankets at the end of the bed and covers my bare legs and bottom. We all know, without talking, that there is nothing you can do for a breech baby. Our ancestors, and even now in the Capitol, with high-tech gadgets, you can attempt to rotate the baby in the correct position. But in the Districts, there is nothing much we can do. We have to wait.

I hate waiting.

XX

Two, three more contractions wave through me, each more painful than the one before. At one of the most recent ones, I couldn't take lying on my back any longer. I now find myself lying on my side, both my hands clutched onto Hazel's arm. Prim finishes checking me, to which I'm now either four or five centimeters and replaces the large blanket just in time for us to hear the front door downstairs open frantically.

It has to be Homer and if it's him that means… Gale.

_Gale!_

For the first time today, since the contractions started an hour, two hours ago I feel… excited. Gale is finally hear, to calm me of my remaining nerves. Homer was gone long enough, Thirty, forty minutes. Long enough that if he was running, he was well at the Justice Building in ten minutes tops. Gale _has _to be with him.

Disappointment.

I hate that word too.

Homer comes into the room, no one in front of him, no one behind him. His hair and clothes are soaking wet from the rain and his cheeks are rosy red from running. He comes over quickly as I begin to breath heavy as another contraction is about to rip through me, and since the contractions, I have my first outburst.

"I swear, if they don't let Gale come home _now!_" I shout it through gritted teeth, but Homer isn't surprised, or taken back. I grasp Hazel's arms tight as pain rips through me, making me curse under my breath.

"Ten, fifteen minutes and he'll be here. Mayor Undersee sent a notice to his boss down there." Homer says, staring at me the whole time. I realize he's careful to keep a distance.

His words nearly make my pain fade away… nearly. But it helps,

Gale.

knowing that he will be here in under twenty minutes relieves me. I seem to back bounce quicker from this contraction with the news. I lean back on my back a little, not all the way, as the contraction stops. Prim mutters a long, over do 'thank you' to Homer and I almost laugh at the distance he seems to have between me and him. I can't help it, and let out a little giggle to which he see's.

"I don't come around women giving birth." He says with a straight face. I hear both Prim and Hazel laugh. It makes me giggle again, the words coming out of a thirteen, fourteen year old boys mouth.

"And why would that be, hon?" Hazel asks, rubbing my hands in hers.

"When my sis gave birth to my nephew, she threw a hairbrush at me." He answers with widen eyes.

The three of us join in a quick laugh together. My laughter isn't forced and in this moment, I'm grateful for it. I wouldn't be laughing though if I didn't know Gale was on his way.

"Gave me a whelp on my head for the next two weeks." He answers with a straight face, stuffing his hands in his pockets and shaking his head. I… we all laugh again.

The conversation and laughter dies down, he doesn't leave and I don't care if he does. He's helped me… us all out a lot today. If he want's to stay, I owe it to him. He sits against the wall, twiddling his thumbs.

Another contraction.

Another check from Prim.

No progress.

I realize though, with my latest contraction and comparing my others, each one grows more intense, more painful than the one before it. I bring this up to Prim and of course, she knows exactly what I'm talking about. She goes off on a 'medical rant', using words beyond my knowledge. I let her talk though, admitting that I've in a away, tone her out. I think about Gale, nothing but… Gale. He could be coming up the mine shaft. A few moments later, coming… running down the seam road. A few more moments later, approaching our home, walking up the steps, opening the door.

_The door!_

I hear it open frantically through my heavy thoughts and Prim's soft voice. She stops speaking, all of our gazes fall on each other, then the entrance to the room. I feel like leaping off the bed, throwing my arms around his neck and crashing our lips together. As if an in instant though, a sudden, 'take-me-by-surprise' contractions rips through me with enough violent force that I crunch over, gripping Hazel's arms tight enough that I'm sure she will be left with bruise. My eyes squeeze shut and I am unable to control my voice. A low, soft scream emits from the back of my throat. With my closed eyes, I hear someone running up the stairs with ease. I know it's Gale. It's Gale. Who else wears heavy duty boots?

_It's Gale._

My speculations are summoned though when I hear his voice. His strong, steady and powerful, deep voice chime in the room frantically. I can't bring myself to open my eyes through the pain, I can't bring myself to stop screaming.

"I'm here!" He says and before I know it, with my eyes still closed, his hands are on me before I can do anything.

I remove my hands from Hazel and throw them around Gale's neck. My eyes are still closed, so I assume he's crouched down beside the bed. His hands rub up and down my back, my head finds his shoulder and that's when I really begin to scream(still quietly to my opinion). The pain consumes me like I have _never _felt before. It's most certainly my worst contraction yet. At least Gale's here. At least he's here.

"It's okay, Katniss. I'm here. I'm here now." His voice is soft, warming but stronger than I _ever _remember. "Everything's going to be alright."

My arms clutch tighter to him. The words I've been waiting to hear.

'_Everything's going to be alright.'_

XX

"Deep breaths, Katniss."

The sentence is whispered in my ear by the most welcoming, warm voice of Gale. Since he got here, half an hour ago I've had three contractions… including the one I'm going through now. I realized the importance of moving. Gale stands with me now, my head resting in the middle of his chest, his arms stretched down my back, rubbing soothing circles all over. The pain is hell.

_Pure, pathetic, unlawful… hell!_

I've never felt something like this in my lifetime. To say I'm being ripped apart would be an understatement. His shirt only does so much to muffle my low moans. I can't bring myself to ask him why he came home not wearing his miner uniform.

"Where'd…" I try to begin speaking but my voice cracks from the pain.

"Shhh." Gale mummers into my ear, smoothing my hair back.

I give up on tying to ask him… I'll ask later.

The contraction begins to part, I'm reminded that now, in four, five minute tops I'll be moaning through another one. Gale helps me stand, using his arms as crotches. He kisses my forehead and I feel bad for the sweat I'm sure he just collected in his mouth. Both of the bedroom windows are open, letting in the freezing winter winds and I'm still dying of heat. Gale begins to help me walk back over to the bed. We are only standing in the middle of the room, the bed only feet from us but looking at the distance seems like an eternity.

"Why does this room have to be so damn big?" I yell in anger. It isn't my first time going off since Gale's been here. He doesn't say anything, just keeps his arms outstretched for me.

I'm almost to the bed when Prim speaks that she needs to check me again. I shake my head, walking, with Gale behind me, arms stretched out for my hands to hold to, coming up on the side of the bed when suddenly, surprisingly and no doubt takes us _all _by surprise… a contraction rips through me…

_Big time._

Forget what I had said, this pain is absolutely _nothing _like I have ever felt in my seventeen year lifespan. The warm, runny liquid that begins to run down my legs only add to the pain. I had always told myself that I would never become one of those screaming idiots that come to my mother in labor. Those women that scream loud enough they lose their voice for days after. I quickly break that promise to myself though. The bed is directly in front of me so I lean over, Gale still behind me and let the water drip down my legs. I scream…

_Loud._

Prim of course chimes in telling me what it is, speaking loud over my scream. But I didn't need to hear. I know that my water just broke and that means… more pain. The pain this time runs down my legs and spine and I'm thankful that Gale has his hands around my waist. The pain blurs my vision and I'm worried I'm going to black out. Suddenly though, I have the strong urge to push.

"I… I have to… push." I say, cracked and raspy. I begin to realize my breathing is getting heavier and heavier.

"Not yet, Kat. Almost but not yet." She tells me as the contraction begins to fade.

"Damn it!" I shout in protest.

As the last bit of pain leaves me, I do what I was instructed to. I lie down on the bed as Prim and Gale remove my soaked pants and underwear. She checks me, speaking that I'm about six centimeters now. I sigh.

This is going to be longer than I thought.

XX

Contraction.

Pain.

Walk.

Breath.

It becomes a process I find myself in. Contractions come every two or three minutes. Each one worse than the one before. The pain hits _hard _and I'm reminded to breath. Gale helps me walk or stand or move, whatever I feel like doing, until the contraction fades. I searched Gale's face through my last contraction(as hard as it was) to see how exactly he's handling this. His face is a mixture of fear and joy. The perfect mix. If I could look at myself in the mirror, I would see no 'joy'. There's nothing enjoyable about having my insides ripped apart and having to push out a baby from inside of me.

Soon the afternoon turns to evening. Hazel retreats next door to make a quick meal for Rory, Vick, Posy, Rhoda and herself. Meanwhile I send Prim downstairs for a glass of water for myself. I had just came out of a contraction when I gave Prim this instruction, so Gale is left with having to help me ride down my contraction by ourselves.

"Just take a few deep breaths." He instructs into my ear, pulling my now unbraided hair out of my face.

I'm currently squatted at the side of the bed, my elbows on it and my head resting in between. Gale squats beside me, rubbing circles on my back with light pressure.

"I know, Gale." I reply to him breathlessly, shaking and a bit harsh.

"Just relax." He gives me another instruction.

"Easier…" I grunt when I feel the baby move inside. "… said than done."

"I know." He says simply, kissing the bit of neck that he can reach with his lips. "Aren't you excited to meet our baby?" He tells me, clearly trying to ease my mind. He's more excited than I am.

I move my head the opposite side so that I'm able to see him, our gazes catching each others heavy. I must look, yet again, completely pathetic. My face plastered in sweat, my eyes still teary from the pain and my shaking hands and head.

"I'm sorry." He speaks softly. "It will be all over soon. And than we'll have a beautiful, healthy baby."

I give him a look that makes him back down immediately.

XX

Nightfall comes before we know it and candles are lit to light the bedroom…

Contraction.

Pain.

Walk.

Breath.

Each… 'segment' comes harder and harder. The contraction of course brings on pain to which intense enough where moaning and screaming seem to do no help… walking too. I refuse the drugs Prim keeps offering. I'm not sure why, but I've been through my fair share of mental and physical pain… I can do this. Gale keeps reminding me of that, that I can do anything I put my mind to and yes… my mind is solely on delivering my baby in the safest and healthiest way I can.

I feel as though laughing at myself… for finding the women my mother was aiding with birth 'overacting'. I thought overacting was doing what she was, bent on all fours, screaming into a pillow at the top of her lungs and swaying her hips back and forth. But, here I am, mirroring the woman exactly as midnight rolls around. I've been at this for over twelve hours. As Gale rubs soothing circles on my shoulders from our position on the floor as the pain begins to ease just a tad but a thought hits me that knocks me cold-

"Work?" I huff breathless, moving my head to look over my shoulder. I don't try to say more, he knows what I'm asking.

"My boss said I could have the next two days off." He speaks softly, I barley hear him over my ragged breathing. "Starting tomorrow." He smiles.

I just turn my head back, squeezing my eyes shut as I feel the baby move within me. Every movement can be felt now that the baby is sitting lower inside of me. I open my eyes quickly though as I sigh with relief that the pain is easing. I've managed to ward the 'pushing urges' away for the moment, but that pain has overtaken my body and emotions full force and all the way.

Gale is helping me stand when another contraction ceases me _immediately_. The pain instantly blinds me and I stumble forward. If Gale wasn't there, it would have been a bad night but thankfully he was. Gale helps me back to the floor, giving me the pillow that has become my best friend. I take it, screaming through the pain and the immense urge to push(unlike before). I look up a bit from my pillow and through my teary, watery eyes catch a glimpse of Prim who is frantically writing something down on the notepad she's been using. She doesn't help me through the contractions anymore, that job is Gale's and Hazel's now. And even though both their soothing voices are trying to calm me, I feel as though I'm screaming into an empty pillow, an empty room or maybe a room too crowded and no one can hear me? I feel as though no one in the room knows what the pain that I'm experiencing truly feels like. Even though that doesn't make sense, Hazel's had four kids, of course she knows but it doesn't change how I feel. The pain only increases this time, making my ears squeeze tight and my voice silent. Finally, my brain nearly shuts down and I begin to go ballistic on Prim-

"_Dammit _Prim! I can't do this _shit _anymore!" I scream it, making her look at me in surprise but not taken back. I can't control the tears that fall from my face.

"Let's check her." She says simply, setting the notepad down quickly.

Gale and Hazel help me stand, I careless I'm in the middle of one of the most _excruciating_ contractions I've had yet. They help me on the bed, slipping both my bottoms off. I just stare into the ceiling, wanting nothing more than for this baby to be _out _of me. I voice this out loud… too loud. I open my legs for Prim as I know this drill far to well than to start getting shy or confused. It only takes a few seconds before she speaks-

"Mrs. Hazel, I need you boil some water and put this cloth in some of it." She speaks, sounding more professional than ever. "Gale…" I watch as she looks at him intensely. "… this is where the support system comes in." She says quickly.

I know at her words that this is becoming…

Real.

I'm about to become a mother.

XX

"Katniss?" I'm next that she pays attention to. "It's time and I'll need you to start pushing when I tell you to. Okay?" I nod my head several good times… _finally_.

Hazel comes back quickly with the cloth. Prim rolls it neatly long ways and hands it to Gale.

"She'll need this soon." She says with a tight smile.

Prim informs me that we have to wait for my next contraction and reminds me of the one through ten counting. I cut her off though as, just on time, a contraction comes… _hard! _I gasp and grunt loudly, giving them all the perfect sign.

"Okay! Gale, Mrs. Hazel, grab behind her legs." She says quickly. They do just that, causing me more pain and I cuss without warning. "Katniss? Look at me!"

I'm forced to look into her eyes. Tears fall from my own, down my cheeks. Both from pain but the realization of what's about to happen…

I'm about to deliver and meet my own child.

Words that I never thought I, Katniss Everdeen, would say. But I guess I'm not 'Katniss Everdeen' anymore. I bare a different last name, a different life… a new _family_.

"Katniss!?" Prim shouts. "When I say push you push! Okay!?" My reply of 'yes' gets muffled by a moan.

Only two, maybe three seconds go by of pain before Prim tells me to _push _loudly. Finally, the urge I've been holding back harshly can be released… somewhat. I muster up every bit I have left of my tired bones and push… hard. My head rises off the pillow and at the same time, Gale and Hazel push my legs back toward me. If I turned my head, my chin could touch my knee, but I careless to be amused or do that. My eyes are squeezed tightly, I hear Prim's and Hazel's voice counting-

"…5,6,7..."

I hear Gale-

"I'm so proud of you, Catnip."

But all I can truly hear, is my own low scream and pain. Somehow though, I hear Prim and Hazel says 'Ten' and I slam my head back onto the pillow, their grips on my legs loosening just some. Something drips from my chin and I can't tell if it's tears or sweat… both. I know it's tears though. I begin to cry… sob.

"I can't… do… this!" I shout in between sobs and grunts of pain.

"Yes you can, Katniss." I hear Gale. I don't look at him though. "You're the strongest person I know."

"That doesn't _fucking _matter, Gale!" More tears fall and I hear another voice besides Gale's.

"Focus, Katniss." I'm confused at Prim's words. "Find something to put your mind and vision to. Rather it's dad, Gale… a crack in the ceiling just something. Keep your mind on something rather than the pain. _Focus._" Prim could pass for an eighty year old… I swear. "Push!"

With my next wave of pushing, I try… 'focusing' on something. I search fairly quick as I begin to push and hear them count. I find my dresser, where one of the candles are lit. Next to it is the Linden flower that Gale had brought home for me a few weeks ago. I had dried it in the windowsill and placed it on a clear, small vase and placed it on my dresser. Now though, I stare into the faded yellow, creamy color the flower gives off. Focusing on the veins of the dried leaf attached.

Focus.

"Push!" I hear from Prim again.

Find the flower.

Focus.

As this becomes a process I find, I realize how dim and faded in color the flower is. A flower that was once alive and beautiful. A flower that if I took the time and watered it, cared for it, could still be alive and bright. But as I begin pushing harder, faster and more, as I begin to feel the babies bottom slip from inside me, the flower becomes brighter, even though, I know clearly it's only my imagination. I don't focus on that though, I focus on how the color is becoming brighter to me. I hear Prim's voice as I begin to feel _completely, overly _stretched down there-

"…ten!"

I slam my head back on the pillow, gasping for a breath of air while Gale rubs the buckets of sweat off my forehead and chin with the rag.

"Want to know the gender?" Prim asks, grinning from ear to ear. I shake my head 'no' and Gale does too… for my sake. Hazel looks over and between my legs. Mirroring her grin.

A few seconds go by and a contraction comes full force. Prim gives me the signal 'push' and I do. This push however, is painful like I haven't felt yet. I can literally feel myself ripping wider for the babies body. I find the flower though, counting with them in my head, moaning loudly, listening to Gale's steady voice, his steady hand on my leg and…

Focus.

XX

It's as if it happens so quick. It becomes pure chaos in a matter of seconds. Hazel continues counting, Gale's encouraging words get louder, the pain gets blinding and Prim is shouting at me.

"Your almost there! Just keep pushing, Katniss! Push!" Her voice rings through her wide grin.

My mouth is stamped shut but I'm screaming from within my throat, cracking and raspy. My eyes are squint but I keep them focused on the flower that seems to be as bright as the sun now. And then it happens… The voices are loudest, my mouth opens so my scream is loudest and the flower is bright when I feel it. My baby slip from within me, into Prim's waiting hands. It's as if though, a tremendous amount pressure was relieved, both physically and mentally.

"I'm so proud of you!" Gale crashes our lips together only for a second.

I don't feel that way though, and I instantly become panicked when I don't hear the cry of my child. I can't see the baby from my position and that only worries me more.

"Why isn't it crying?!" I shout frantically at Prim, completely winded.

It's as if though I was caught in a lie. At my last words, I hear the soft but growing in volume wail of a newborn coming from between my legs. Gale keeps a steady hand in my head and Prim raises the baby in her hands for me to see. Low and behold, the parts in between the _tiny _infants legs aren't parts I have in common. Prim's voice confirms it to me-

"It's a boy!"

She lays the crying, pale, covered in goop infant on my stomach and my hands immediately fly to his back, his tiny, cold back. Prim hands Gale the scissors in the bag and I prepare myself the best I can. Gale cuts the umbilical cord and a small amount of blood falls onto my shirt. I take a deep breath and _focus _on the little crying infant on my stomach. Prim come over to the side of me with a clean towel and begins rubbing the angry baby. I laugh though and notice the spot of dark hair on top of his head. His dark, cold skin becomes brighter and fuller… just like the flower.

"He's beautiful." Gale says to me as Prim begins cleaning his face.

"He is." I reply, it comes out raspy but cracked but Gale kisses me anyways.

Prim takes him, only for a second and swaddles him in the towel, handing him back to my gently. His crying is gone down, but he still whimpers quietly. I take him in my arms as Prim cleans me up. So many things run through my mind and the thought of not living up to a mother he deserves seems to vanish. I realize only holding him could tame that fear. He's already everything to me.

He opens his eyes, for the first time and stares into my own.

"Hello, son." I reply with a giggle, realizing his eyes are grey as ours. He has the seam look but stunning.

"Hey, bud." Gale says, letting his large finger slip into our sons tiny hands. I can't decide if he looks like Gale or myself. Maybe the perfect mix?

"What are we going to name him, Gale?" I ask, as hard as it is, tarring my gaze from my child's and to my husbands. His grin and watery eyes speaks volumes to me.

I don't give time for Gale to answer when I have an idea. I look back to my whimpering son, with the spit coming from his mouth and his crystal grey eyes and to the flower across the room. The flower had given me hope when I felt like I had none. It was dim and cold and faded but when I focused, it became brighter… like my son in my arms. I turn my gaze back to Gale's. He knows when I'm thinking.

"Linden." I say simply, looking back at my son.

"Linden Hawthorne." Gale says, wiggling his finger in our sons tight grasp. "Perfect."

This time, I lean in to give Gale a kiss. Hazel of course makes a sweet 'in awe' sound and comments on the lovely name and of course… her lovely grandchild. Gale rubs a soothing circle on my arm with his free hand as all we can do is stare into the beautiful face of our baby. It's as if all those painful months, all the messed up emotions, all the issues I was worried about, the painful labor… it was all worth it. I can't help the yawn that over takes me as I continue to stare at my beautiful baby boy-

"What time is it?" I ask Gale, watching as my son shifts his gaze from me to him.

"One or two in the morning." He kisses my forehead. "We have a long night ahead." He adds, grinning like a bobcat.

I smile the widest I have in a while, even though I know I won't be sleeping for a while but that doesn't matter. What matters is my beautiful child in my arms. I would never have guessed, looking back last year that I would have a beautiful son, an amazing husband, a _family _but I guess sometimes life doesn't go as you always plan it.

It doesn't mean it's not what you wanted, but maybe it was what you wanted all along. . . . .

* * *

_**Chapter 32 Preview: Katniss and Gale are lucky, their unplanned, complicated pregnancy and birth ended with a beautiful and healthy baby boy. Will Katniss begin to feel overwhelmed with joy or anger has everyone they know once to get a glimpse of their little one? What will happen when Mrs. Everdeen realizes she missed out on the birth of her first grandchild? What will take place as preparations for the Quarter Quill begin? Will Katniss begin to fear the games all over again for her child? How will life change now for Katniss and Gale, for the Hawthorne's and Everdeens now that there's a baby? What unexpected events will unfold as Airgusta begins attacks on Panem? And what secrete will Katniss find out that's been buried far to long? Find out Saturday, October 5th!**_

_***Check the Facebook page for any date changes and/or previews.**_


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